Ain't No Mountain High Enough
by Natalie Elizabeth
Summary: Set after the events of Countdown. Cold, lost, empty, scared. Beckett turns to the only person who can make that all go away. Castle
1. Chapter 1

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Set after the events of Countdown

Castle groaned as he heard the familiar ringtone signifying that Beckett was calling him. He felt like he had just closed his eyes and he was reluctant to open them again. Pulling his arm out from under the covers, Castle reached for his phone, which was somewhere on his bed side table. After 3 attempts he finally grasped his phone and pulled it under the covers.

"Beckett if the world is ending again, I am seriously too tired to care."

When Castle was met with silence, he pulled himself up and out from under the covers. Oh no, was Beckett in trouble? Great, Beckett was in trouble and he was acting like a Dick!

"Beckett."

"Sorry Castle, I shouldn't have called. Bye."

"Wait. Beckett!"

Silence met his ears again.

"Beckett."

Castle pulled his phone away from his ear and looked at the screen. She had hung up on him. Damn. Castle swung his legs to the ground and was thankful he hadn't put his clothes away, like Alexis always nagged him to do. He had come home and simply stripped off by his bed and had crawled in. After facing death, facing his daughter about dirty clothes was a walk in the park. Pulling on his pants Castle dialled Beckett's number. He grabbed his shirt with his free hand and with his phone sandwiched between his shoulder and ear, attempted to put it on.

"Go back to sleep Castle, I'm sorry."

"No I'm awake now, what's wrong?"

One sleeve on. One to go.

"Nothing's wrong exactly. I just. I just don't feel right."

Castle froze.

"Wake Josh up, get him to take you to the hospital. You could be having complications from being in the freezer."

His shirt was on, buttons be damned. He needed his shoes and jacket and he needed to get to Beckett.

"Wake. Josh. Up?" she asked rather tentatively.

Castle stopped shoe halfway on. "He stayed over right?"

He heard Beckett expel a breath of air. "He was going to. I mean he wanted to, it's just. When we went back to my place something just didn't feel right."

Castle's jaw dropped open then closed as his thoughts were on putting on his other shoe and running out of his room.

"Didn't feel right how" he asked running down the stairs trying not to trip. That's the last thing he needed.

"Oh I don't know. He hugged me. He's my boyfriend, a hug should make me feel safe and warm but it didn't. I just felt cold, so cold and kind of empty. Having his arms around me made me shiver, and not in a good way."

Grabbing his coat off the couch Castle ran to the door then stopped. He could hear something unusual going on in the background of Becketts call.

"He noticed me being standoffish and we got into a fight. He got a call to go in and I told him to go."

Castle knew he was going to hell for feeling elated over the fact that Beckett and Dr Motorcycle boy had a fight, but at this moment he didn't care. The strange noise in the background still bothered him. At first it sounded like she had the TV on, but then it hit him, traffic noise. In the city that never sleeps there was always traffic noise. The only time he noticed the fact that it was even there, was when he wasn't in the city.

"Beckett, where are you?"

Beckett didn't answer straight away.

"Ahh look its late. I shouldn't have called."

"No Beckett, wait!"

He looked at his phone and noticed for the second time that night she had hung up in him.

Double Damn.

Castle ran from his place and soon found himself on the street. He looked up and down. He had a small glimmer of hope that Beckett was out on the street because she was coming to see him. He ran down the street a little and then spotted the back side he spent way too much time looking at.

"Beckett" Castle yelled out, running towards the lone figure on the street. He watched her stop and turn around but he continued running until he reached her.

"Castle, how the" Beckett shook her head trying to figure out how Castle knew she had been standing outside his place.

Castle held up his index finger to indicate for her to wait for just 1 minute. He then leaned forward and placed his hands on his knees and took a few deep breaths. He soon righted himself but still puffed just a little.

"Beckett. What are you doing here?"

Beckett raked a hand through her hair.

"I dunno Castle. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't get warm."

"So naturally you come and stand outside my apartment in the middle of the night."

Beckett looked away from him.

"I feel numb Castle, on the inside and out. I came here because" Beckett bit her lip and looked at the ground. She took a deep breath before peering up at him from under her lashes.

"I came here to feel something Castle. Before you came along, my life was empty and you fill my life with" Beckett rubbed her hand over her face trying to summon up the right word.

"Annoyance" Castle offered.

Beckett laughed. "Yes annoyance, and right now annoyance is better than nothing."

Castle held out his arms. "Well you came to the right place. Come on" He beckoned her.

With Castles arm around her shoulders, Beckett retraced the steps she had taken only moments before and walked back to Castles place. Castle opened the door for her and she was hit in the face by a blast of hot air.

"Martha and Alexis don't mind it being so hot in here."

"There not here."

Beckett turned surprised.

"I sent them away to the Hamptons, this time they listened. I thought I might go and join them, seeing how we don't have to be back a work for a few days. I'll wait and see how I feel in the morning. Either way it seemed pointless getting them to drive back tonight, once everything was ok."

Beckett nodded and then turned back to the open room. She was here now. She was here in Castles place. The place she had been thinking about since Josh had left.

Great.

Now she was lying to herself. She wanted to be here while Josh was still at her place.

"Would you like something to drink. Not coffee, but some water maybe or I could make hot chocolate with whipped cream on top."

Beckett shook her head. "No I'm fine, could we sit."

Castle gestured towards the couch. "Sure make yourself at home."

Beckett walked towards the couch and chose to sit in the middle. She kicked off her shoes and then scooped up the blanket that was sitting next to her. Lightly throwing the blanket over herself Beckett laid back and closed her eyes.

"I could turn up the heat some more."

Not opening her eyes Beckett shook her head. Pulling the blanket over her had been more about security rather than warmth.

"I guess you don't wanna talk about it."

Beckett opened her eyes and looked at him giving him an almost guilty smile.

"No not really."

Castle nodded. "That's ok. Is there anything you want or need? I could put a movie on or something."

"Maybe some music."

"Music" Castle asked surprised.

Beckett nodded. "Just softly."

Castle patted his hands over his body trying to remember where he had put his phone, once Beckett had hung up on him for the second time. He located his phone and then walked over to the dock on the bookshelf. He set his phone down and then began to scroll through it.

"Any requests?"

"The music from the folder 'Alone' would be nice."

Castle looked over his shoulder at her with a raised eyebrow.

"And I thought I was the snoop out of the two of us."

Beckett shrugged. "What can I say, I learn from the best."

Castle chuckled before turning back to his phone and selecting the folder Beckett wanted to listen to. He wanted to know exactly when Beckett had been snooping through his phone and exactly how much she had seen. Ryan and Esposito hadn't hassled him about his choice in music, so either she had just recently discovered it or she was keeping this secret for herself. Castle turned back to face Beckett sitting on his couch under a blanket. She looked so small and timid, so very unlike Beckett. He had to do something to get her back to her old self.

"So you admit that I am the best at something huh."

Castle watched a smile tugged at Becketts lips.

"Yes. At snooping, and coming up with strange theories that somehow actually turn out to be true."

"And being annoying" Castle added.

Beckett nodded. "Like right now. Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to sit down."

She watched as Castle made his way over to the couch across from her. He was going to sit away from her and she didn't want that. She had come here to feel comforted and she couldn't get that if he was sitting so far away.

"Castle, you don't have to sit all the way over there."

Castle butt hit the couch then rebounded back up as if he had just sat on a spring.

"I thought you might want some space. You said you didn't want Josh touching you, I just figured that meant you wouldn't want anyone near you. After two failed marriages and living with two woman, I've learned an important lesson. If you want to live to see the next day, you give them space when they need it."

"Wise words to live by, but they don't apply here."

Beckett lifted up the edge of the blanket and patted the space beside her. Castle sat, and pulled the blanket over the two of them. She noticed that he sat just far enough away that their bodies weren't touching.

"I'm sorry for waking you."

Beckett watched as Castle shrugged but smiled. "It's no big deal. That's what partners are for."

Beckett scoffed. "So being partners' means if I can't sleep, you can't sleep."

Castles small smile faded to a frown.

"No and please correct me if I am wrong. To me being partners' means no matter how big or small the problem is, no matter whether its day or night, we can pick up the phone and the other will come running, no questions asked."

Beckett stared at Castle but didn't say anything.

"I guess that sounds stupid right. I've over fictionalised it. In my make believe world of writing that's what partners should be, but I guess as a cop you know different."

A smile twinged to her lips.

"Mainly it means having each others' back, usually just when were on duty though. I'm glad you think differently. I'm still sorry I woke you though."

"I few extra hours of beauty sleep isn't going to help this face out much."

Becketts' eyes roamed over his face. He really was ruggedly handsome. Although she had once told him he was so metro sexual, it was more of a jibe than the truth. It was obvious he spent at least some time in front of the mirror. His hair was mussed over his forehead, were as it normally hung either side exposing his furrowed brow. So apart from grooming his hair, something as far as she was concerned more men needed to spend time doing, Josh included, he didn't look plucked and polished. His eyes were his best feature however. Eyes were often called the windows to the soul, this was defintly the case with Castle. His eyes held knowledge, courage and cockiness, but right now they held uncertainty.

"Aren't you always saying you're ruggedly handsome?"

"Yeah, but I say a lot of things. You can testify that they are not always true! Besides if me losing a few hours beauty sleep, means helping you, so you can get the sleep you need, than it's a small sacrifice."

Beckett smiled. Castle was willing to sacrifice his own needs for her. It was a total selfless act, and then a thought hit her.

"Hey hold on a second, are you saying I need my beauty sleep?"

Castles eyes softened. "Like it'd possible for you to get anymore beautiful"

Beckett stared at Castle. Did he just openly admit he thought she was beautiful? He wasn't joking around or being a flirt. He hadn't called her hot or sexy, he had called her beautiful. There was something so pure about it, he was being so open and honest and sincere. Their eyes were locked on to each other's and the uncertainty that was there only moments ago was replaced by heat. The title of Castles second book came to mind. She had never understood the term Naked Heat until now. The heat in his eyes as he stared at her face warmed her entire body. She could feel again. She wasn't cold or empty or dead. She was alive in more ways the one because of the man sitting before her. Beckett couldn't help but take a deep breath and swallow deeply. The small movement shook Castle out of his reverie and had him turning away. Beckett bit her lip and looked away too, the moment was gone.

As Beckett felt the heat slipping from her she knew she had to act now. However she couldn't face him, the one time in her life where she was actually chicken. What she was about to do could have a disastrous outcome. Lifting one leg she tucked it under herself before turning her back slightly to Castle. Maybe she didn't need to face, maybe she could say what she needed to say and not see his reaction. It was now or never.

"Castle if I ask you to do something for me, will you do it and not make a big deal over it. I mean if you don't want to do it, it's ok but can you not make a big deal about me asking."

Beckett felt Castle move on the couch beside her. Butterflies had somehow entered her stomach, even though she couldn't see if he was moving towards her or away.

"I'd do anything for you Beckett"

He must have moved closer as Beckett swore she felt his breath against the right side of her neck. She closed her eyes enjoying the sensation. Oh God why did that feel so good? Taking another deep breath Beckett readied herself for a potential disaster.

"Will you hold me?"

Nothing happened. There was no movement on the couch, no sound except for the melodious piano music. Beckett's eyes flew open and her shoulders sagged. She shouldn't have asked. She shouldn't have come. God she was such an idiot. What must Castle think of her? If he has that cocky grin on his face she swore she would shoot him.

She was about to rise when she felt a hand touch her right hip and then slowly make its way around her stomach. Feeling herself being tugged backwards Beckett relaxed and allowed her body to go willingly. When her back hit Castles chest she felt the heat return immediately. This was what she wanted; this was what she came here for. She knew it was wrong on so many levels but at this point she didn't care. She nestled into his body and felt him rest his head on her own. Was it possible that he needed this as much as she did? The time for questions wasn't now. All she wanted to do is sit, there in Castles arms for the next hundred years or so.

Authors Note: I'd like to thank all of those who read and reviewed my first Castle fan fic. Strange, Weird and Wonderful. Especially bones 35 for trying to help me with my grammar. Also Little Lizzie Zentara who's detailed review made me go back and read my own story to re live all the good things she talked about. I was really worried about writing again after being out of the game for so long. All your kind words has spurred me to write more, so thank you. And please write a review for this one to.

I'm not sure if I am simply going to leave this story where it is. I have a few ideas for a few chapters but no real destination in mind. So if anyone feels like giving me some ideas or tips or if anyone feels like collaborating feel free to message me. Thanks all.

I is who I is


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Well I am so glad everyone liked this story, your wonderful reviews were the encouragement I needed to continue with it. So I hope it makes you all happy. I'll admit I was a bit nervous about posting it so thank you very much. Also a very big thank you to Little Lizzie Zentara who has been almost like my own private cheerleader since I started writing again. Your reviews make my day. Now on with the story.

Warning to any Josh lovers out there, you might not like this chapter or the next one. Haa haaa haa haa haa 'Josh lovers' I crack myself up sometimes

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Castle groaned as he heard a musical jingle.

Cell phones should be banned, especially while someone was sleeping. Rolling onto his side, Castle fell off the mattress and crawled on his hands and knees to the end of the bed. As he rounded the corner of the bed the music stoped. Hanging his head down, Castle groaned. He made an attempt to crawl backwards when the music started up again. Making his way to the jacket on the floor, where the music was coming from, Castle picked it up and began shaking it. It was primitive act but he was too tired to care. The phone dropped to ground and Castle snatched it up answering it.

"Hello."

"Who the hell is this?"

Castle leaned up against the end of the bed. He so didn't need some moron trying to sell him something. At least, not this early in the morning. Or afternoon. Or night. Or whatever the time was.

"Hey buddy, you called me."

"Who the hell is this and why do you have Kate's phone?"

Kate's phone? Castle pulled the phone back from his ear to look at the phone in his hand. With three phone holders in his house hold, along with phone companies constantly wanting to upgrade and therefore change phones frequently, he had simply picked up the phone not realising who it actually belonged to. He then looked at the screen.

"Hey Josh, how's it going? It's Richard Castle."

"Rick! Why are you answering Kate's phone?"

Castle used his feet to push himself up slightly so he could crane his head around to look at the body still sleeping on his bed.

"Ahh, Kate's asleep, and I don't really want to wake her. Is it important?"

"If she's asleep, then why is she even at the precinct? I thought even you would have had the common sense to make her go home. Why are the two of you even there? I thought you had a few days off."

"We do, and we are not at the precinct. We are at my place," Castle rubbed a hand over his face. He didn't really want to be dealing with Dr. Motorcycle Boy right now .

"What? Kate's asleep at your place? Wake Kate. I want to speak to her. NOW."

Castle pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. There was no way he was waking Kate. They had spent two hours sitting on the couch before he had felt her body go heavy. He had gotten a glimpse of the time earlier, when he had pulled the phone back to see whose phone he had answered. She'd had four hours sleep, max. Dr. Motorcycle boy would just have to wait until Kate woke up. After all, he hadn't even asked how she was; he was more worried about where she was.

"Look, Josh. After all the excitement we went through, she wasn't able to fall asleep that easily. She finally crashed a few hours ago. So unless it's really important, I am not going to wake her up."

Castle sat there waiting for Josh to reply.

"Josh?"

Castle looked at the phone. Damn, what was it with people hanging up on him?

Castle rubbed his hands over his face. He needed coffee. As much as he would love to get back into his bed, he knew sleep was futile now. Making his way into the kitchen, Castle set his coffee machine to start brewing. Placing his hands on the counter, he leaned back and stretched his body. As he righted himself, a thought entered his head. Beckett was in his bed. The bed he had just left. He looked towards the couch where they had spent two hours before that holding each other. Well ok, he had been holding her. But she had definitely leaned back and snuggled into him. She had been the one to ask _him_ to hold her. Ok, so she had told him not to make a big deal about it. But how could he not? Beckett had asked him to _hold_ her, to _touch_ her. Castle started doing the moon walk in his socked feet. He spun and then began dancing around his kitchen, in true Castle style. He then began to sing quietly.

"I held Beeeecccccccccckett. She let me hooooooooooooooooooold her. We spent the night togeeeeeeeeeetherrrrrr. Whoooaa."

Castle's socked foot slipped out from under him. His arms flailed wildly trying to grab hold of something. He grabbed the top of a chair, but gravity wasn't working in his favour, as both Castle and the chair came tumbling to the floor. Castle lay there with the chair across his chest. He could see the front page headline appear before his eyes.

'Award winning author escapes death three times only to be killed in household accident.'

Castle pushed the chair off and for the second time that day, he found himself crawling on the ground. This must be karma coming back to bite him in the ass for gloating over the fact he had spent the night with another man's girl. He couldn't help it though; last night was the best night of his life. Ok, second best night of his life. The night Alexis was born was the first. Last night was the best night of his life that involved a woman he wasn't related to. What boggled his mind was that they didn't even have sex. He knew sex wasn't the 'be all and end all'. He had experienced some pretty bad sex in his time, also some pretty good ones too. However, some pretty great nights had started out with dinner or a gala, but had always ended with a wild night in the sack. Except last night. And technically last night was this morning. So technically this morning was the best day of his life, and the day was only just starting. He couldn't wait for what laid ahead.

Castle looked up suddenly when he heard a knock at the door. He wasn't expecting anyone, nor was he dressed to receive company. Oh well, if someone was going to come and visit at this time of morning then they would have to deal with his two day old rumpled jeans and t-shirt.

Walking over to the door Castle saw movement off to the right.

"Good morning Beckett. Coffee's brewed," he said with a smile.

She simply nodded and offered him an almost nervous smile. He would have to ask her about that later. He wondered if she was embarrassed or felt awkward about last night.

Castle opened the door with a flourish, to reveal Josh.

"Josh, hey how's it goi-" His greeting was cut short when the air was knocked out of him.

Josh had grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, huh? Fucking my girlfriend?!"

Castle stared wide eyed while trying to catch his breath.

"Whaaaaaa-"

Beckett ran over to the two men.

"Josh. What's going on? Josh. Let go of him."

Josh gave Castle one last shove before turning to Beckett.

"How could you do this to me? I came back for you!"

"You should have never left," Castle challenged.

Josh turned his angry glare at Castle.

"So what, you think that gives you the automatic right to fuck _my_ girlfriend?!"

Castle frowned at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on. Do I really look that dumb to you?"

Castle merely raised his eyebrows at him, causing Josh to get even angrier.

"Shut up, ok? Just _shut_ it."

Beckett took a step towards Josh.

"Josh, would you just calm down? And explain to me what's going on here."

"_Me_? Explain?Why don't _you_ explain how long have you been having an affair with _him_?"

Beckett looked at Josh. Shocked. Affair! He was accusing her of having an affair with Castle! She was really getting sick of this. He had _never_ come out and accused her of having an affair. But came to think of it, there were times when he practically interrogated her over her day's events.

"Josh, I've told you. Castle and I are just friends. Why would you think we were having an affair?"

"Gee, I don't know Kate. You wouldn't let me touch you last night. You practically threw me out of your place. When I tried to do the right thing and called to see if you're ok, I find you here. With Richard _fucking_ Castle."

"Call? What call?"

"I called maybe 20 minutes ago and _he_ answered. He told me what the two of you were up to."

Beckett threw a scowl at Castle. "What the hell, Castle?!"

Castle held up his hands in a surrender pose.

"I swear I didn't say anything like that. All I said was that you couldn't come to the phone as you were sleeping. That's all."

Beckett looked back at Josh for an explanation.

"Oh come on. We all know what sleeping really means,"

Castle shook his head. "Hold on a second. You think I was in the middle of making love to Kate and I stopped so I could answer her phone? What kind of moron does that?"

Josh turned his angry gaze to Beckett. "You told him that? I can't believe you told him that, Kate! That was private!"

Castle couldn't believe what he had just heard Josh admit. He looked towards Beckett to get confirmation; and the look on her face said it all.

"I didn't tell him anything, Josh. Look. Castle and I are not having an affair,"

"Then why are you here? You said you were going straight to bed last night,"

"I was- I just..." How was she supposed to tell her boyfriend that she craved being held in the arms of another man?

"She needed to talk," Castle offered, seeing the hesitant look on Becketts face.

"She could have spoken to me."

Yeah, because Josh was the kind of person who sits there and listens, Castle thought to himself. But he knew better to voice that opinion.

"Look, Josh. When I was doing research for one of my books, I spoke to people who had been through traumatic events. A lot of them found it hard to talk to anyone about it because it meant reliving the whole experience. Others said they were more comfortable talking to a stranger, like a therapist or a doctor about the whole ordeal than to their own family or the people closest to them."

"That's ridiculous." He scoffed.

"Maybe. But they saw it as a way of protecting the ones they love, of protecting themselves. To tell people closest to them about what happened, having them know all the gritty details, it'd just make the situation worse. These people didn't want their family to pity them, to have guilt that if only they had been there, they could have done something,"

"But I _have_ been in near death experiences before when I was doing Doctors Without Borders. I _know_ what it's like. I could have helped her get through this."

"That's where you're wrong, Josh. No one can know what it's like to be Beckett, to go through the experiences she has been through. To know how those events affected her and how they will dictate how she handles things in the future".

Beckett looked at Castle. She couldn't believe what he was saying. He got it. _Finally,_ someone understood what she felt for so many years. After all those group therapy sessions with everyone spouting off about how they knew exactly how she felt. It took Richard Castle, 9-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush Castle, to understand how she felt.

"But I'm her boyfriend; she should be able to tell me anything,"

Castle shook his head. He just didn't get it. It was all about him, wasn't it? About what he wanted or needed.

"Yes, you're her boyfriend. But she has a life outside of you, you know. She doesn't have to tell you everything. I mean do you seriously want to know she picks her nose or that she likes popping zits."

"This isn't like that. This is the important stuff. If she can't tell me these sorts of things, then what kind of relationship do we really have here?"

Castle sighed.

"My mother has a saying; our lives are like plays with many different roles. Each role is important and helps the plot further along, or rather helps our lives further along. One person can play more than one role, but no person can play all the roles."

"But I'm her _boyfriend_," he insisted.

Castle groaned.

"You're just not getting it, are you Josh? You weren't what she needed last night. She just needed someone who would listen and not judge. Last night that role just happened to be played by me. Tomorrow maybe she would need help with trying to figure out which shoes go with her dress. She wouldn't need me or you, she would need Lanie, or one of her other friends. Or are you going to crack over that too?"

Josh seemed to think about it for a second.

"Whatever," he gave up. "Why did I even listen to you in the first place? You're just trying to cover up the fact that the two of you are having an affair!"

Oh God, were they really letting someone this dumb become a doctor?

"Why would I have to lie? Think about it, brainiac. If I were having an affair with Beckett, wouldn't it make sense that I would want the two of you to break up, so, I could have her all to myself?"

Josh frowned as he took it all in.

"Fine. Whatever. Come on, Kate. Let's go"

Josh grabbed Beckett's wrist and attempted to pull her from the room. Beckett stood firm and violently shook her wrist from his grasp.

"What do you think you're doing?" Beckett hissed, not believing that Josh had just tried to man handle her.

Josh raked a hand through his hair.

"Leaving. Come on, we can talk somewhere else."

Becketts' rage was boiling.

"Talk? _Talk_. Do you think I am honestly going to go with you, after all that you have just said and done?"

"Come on, Kate. I believe that the two of you are not having an affair, but I still want to talk about this."

"You barged into Castle's house, assaulted him, and then accused him of having an affair with me. Now you want to leave without making amends to either him or me. What did you think would happen, Josh? That you and I would hold hands and just go skipping down the hall? Huh?"

"You want me to apologize to him?"

"No, I want you to want to apologize, period. To know that what you did was wrong."

Kate couldn't believe the way Josh was acting. Had he always been this big of a dick?

"Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Hey, don't make me the bad guy here, Kate. _You're_ the one who stayed at another guy's place when you're dating me."

Castle threw his hands up. "How many times do I have to say it? _Nothing_ happened. I thought you would be happy that she had someone to help her deal with this, this time."

Josh walked up to Castle and got in his face. "I've had enough of you. I want you to shut up and to stay out of Kate's life," he said sternly.

"Pretty hard, considering we work together." Castle challenged him.

Josh laughed. "Hah! Work. You don't work there. You follow her around like a love sick puppy and I won't stand it anymore," he said in a mocking tone.

"You won't stand for it," Beckett interjected.

Josh turned surprised, almost as if he had forgotten she was there.

"He is coming between us, Kate! I don't want you seeing him anymore. Or you know what? I want you to choose."

"You're making me choose?" She couldn't believe he was putting her in this position.

"It's him, or me," Josh said folding his arms over his chest and looked at Castle smugly.

Beckett looked at the two men who stood before her. After all the things she had been through the last 24 hours. The way Josh had acted when he had come storming in. She took a deep breath.

"Him."

A smile broke out on Castles face.

Best day everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Hey surprise surprise, Thought I'd give you wonderful reviewers an extra little treat and post one more chapter before I go away. I tried to get this up quickly so it hasn't been edited as much as the others but then again you are by now used to my terrible grammar. I hope you enjoy anyway if possible I'd love some reviews to come back to.

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

"Him, you're choosing him over me. Oh my God I can't believe this. How could you do this to me, after all I have done for you. Do you know how hard it was to get off that plane? My colleagues all know I came back for you, now what are they going to think? How could you choose him over me?"

A smirk appeared on Beckett's face, oh so predictable Josh, he'd fallen for her trap hook line and sinker.

"I didn't."

"But you just said" Josh practically stammered.

Yeah, Castle thought, you just said him. Unless she meant him him, as in Josh him and not him him as in Castle him.

Beckett walked up to Josh.

"The decision was made for me the minute you walked through the door. You're more worried about your ego than anything else. Me, me, me, that's all you have been spouting since you came storming in here. 'How could you do this to me', what you should have said is 'How could I do this to us'."

"Me , us , what's the difference."

Quite a bit, Castle thought.

"The difference is Josh, you care more about your image than you do me. I was just a thing you needed to check off your ego list. A job I can impress woman with, check. A chick magnet vehicle, check. A hot girlfriend I can have hang off my arm and annoy other guys with, check. I just made up part of the image you wanted to convey. You never once said how hurt you were or how much you loved me."

"I am not going to say that in front of him."

Beckett shook her head. If a man was in love, wasn't he supposed to yell it from the roof tops, not caring who heard? Maybe she had just read too many books.

"Again you were worried about your image. You are more concerned that someone had cheated on you, you 'The Great Josh'. As if you were something special and no one would ever dare cheat on you. You're selfish Josh."

Joshs eyes widened. Selfish, she was calling him selfish.

"How can you call me selfish, I don't have to do Doctor without Borders, I choose to."

Castle chose now to speak up.

"Oh come on Josh we all know that's to look good on your resume. To show what a humanitarian you are. What good is it to help complete strangers, when you neglect the ones close to you?"

Josh stalked over to him but Castle stood firm. Josh grabbed his shirt front yet again.

"I told you to shut up and stay out of it. This is between Kate and Me."

Castle used all the strength he had, to push Josh away.

"It's Kate and I."

"Kate and I." Josh parroted back.

"There is no Kate and I, Josh. It's over." Beckett walked over and stood between the two men. It wasn't so much she was trying to protect Castle, it was more she wanted him close by.

"What Kate? No."

Beckett shook her head, break ups were never easy.

"I let this relationship go on for too long Josh, it just isn't working."

"Yes it is Kate, we have the perfect relationship. We both worked unusual hours but neither of us cared."

"We should care" Kate told him. "We should want to spend time with each other. You know when you told me you were leaving; I was more upset about another relationship going down the drain, than I was losing you."

"We can work on it Kate, go to counselling."

Wow Castle thought. Dr Motorcycle Boy must be getting real desperate to pull the 'we will go to counselling' card.

"Counselling isn't going to change anything Josh, I don't want to see you anymore." Ever was more like it, but she didn't want to make him angrier.

"But Kate."

"She told you to leave" Castle interjected. This moron had been at his place for far too long as far as he was concerned.

"I'm talking to Kate, not to you."

"Well if you don't leave right now, then I'm going to talk to a few people too. I know a lot of people in high places, not to mention all my fans online. All I have to do is mention what a dick you have been and bam there goes your reputation."

Josh scoffed. "You don't have that kind of power"

Castle shrugged. "You want to play Russian roulette with your reputation, fine by me."

Josh seemed to consider it for a moment, then walked towards the door. Castle followed after him and shut it with slightly more force than was needed. He stood there looking at the door, now what. Break ups were often awkward and this one even more so as it wasn't his break up. Maybe some light humour. Castle turned and looked at Beckett.

"So he really answered the phone while the two of you were..."

"Castle."

Right, humour wasn't what was called for at this point in time.

"How about that coffee."

Castle watched a smile come to her lips.

"Coffee sounds great."

Together they walked to his kitchen. Beckett took a seat while Castle walked over to his cupboards to get mugs out. He filled two up before walking over to Beckett and sitting beside her.

Beckett looked at the mug before busting out in laughter.

"Is this a mug or a vase Castle?"

Castle shrugged. "I figured you needed it."

Beckett nodded and then took a large gulp of the coffee, almost burning her throat in the process.

"I'm sorry about all that"

Beckett was apologizing for that dirt bag, that wasn't right.

"It's not your fault" he told her.

"He didn't hurt you" She couldn't look at him. When she had seen Josh throw Castle up against the wall she had been shocked. Castle wasn't a weakling but he didn't work out either, at least not that she knew off. If Josh wanted to, he could have reduced Castle to a whimpering little school boy. Not that Castle wouldn't have gone down swinging.

"Hurt me, as if"

Beckett looked at him and gave him what could only be translated as a 'yeah right' look.

Castle rubbed a hand over his chest.

"Well ok he may have pulled out a few chest hairs."

Beckett laughed, typical Castle.

Beckett returned her gaze back to her coffee. She had just broken up with Josh and she didn't feel sad. Was that normal, was she normal? If anything she felt relieved and somewhat free. She was quite happy sitting there drinking coffee with Castle. The man's insight into the human mind was truly astounding. Some of the things he tried to explain to Josh, made so much sense to her. She had felt the same way and thought she was unusual because no one else seemed to.

"What you said about no one knowing what it's like to be me, and go though my experiences, that was very insightful Castle, very deep. I mean I know you were there with me, all those times we faced death, but it would have been very different for you. You had so much more to lose than I did."

Castle toyed with his coffee. "What makes you say that?"

Beckett shrugged. "Well you have your mother and Alexis to worry about, then there's all your fans to think off too. You have accomplished so much, done so many things. You just have so many things to lose compared to me."

Castle looked at her and her and he seemed almost angry.

"Did you ever think that the reason I have more to lose is that I have more."

Beckett opened her mouth to comment but then shut it and frowned. Well sure that made sense but it didn't too.

"You have yet to experience so many things Beckett, your life has only just begun. We both had a lot to lose. Even things we are yet to realise."

Beckett stopped breathing. Her gaze fixed on Castle. The uncertainty was back in his eyes, almost as if he were expecting her to refute his claim.

Music exploded into the room causing them both to jolt. Castles hand knocked his mug over, causing the hot liquid to spill on the counter and then directly onto his lap.

"Ouch, ouch ,ouch"

Castle jumped up front his chair and attempted to pull his now wet jeans away from his body. Beckett clamped a hand over her mouth to try and stop the laughter that was threatening to bubble out of her. She shouldn't be laughing, he could be seriously hurt.

"Answer the phone" he said hoping around from foot to foot.

"What?" Beckett asked confused.

"It's Alexis' new ring tone. If you don't answer the phone she will worry."

Beckett ran over to his phone but it had stopped only to start again moments later.

"Hey Alexis, its Kate."

"Kate?" her voice sounded wary. "Is my Dad ok, you're not at the hospital are you"

"No, we're are not at the hospital we are at your place. As for your Dad being ok, well that ones a bit iffy."

"Meaning he's hurt himself but it's not life threatening?"

Beckett laughed. "You know your Dad so well."

"What's he done this time? Please tell me he hasn't lost his eyebrows again"

Beckett heard a relieved sigh coming from Castle and she turned to look at him. Laughter erupted out of her yet again.

"He still has his eyebrows but he has definitely lost his dignity. He spilt hot coffee onto his lap. Right now he is standing in your kitchen, jeans down around his ankles, with a bag of frozen peas on his groin."

Beckett couldn't help but smile as she heard Alexis laugh.

"Oh poor Dad, I don't know how he gets himself into these messes. Can you make sure he throws out the peas this time."

"This time, meaning he has done this before."

"Well not quite, he once bent over a little too close to a bon fire."

Becketts eyes widened and her mouth gaped open.

"What is she telling you" Castle asked waddling his way over to her, the frozen peas still covering his groin area.

Beckett smiled. "Oh we are just swapping blackmailing stories."

Castle looked torn. "Talk to her for a few minutes while I go change but not swapping stories"

Beckett laughed as he walked bow legged cow boy style off to his room.

"He's just changing Alexis he will be back in a sec"

"That's fine, I was just calling to see if he was still coming up or if he wanted us to come home instead"

Oh damn that's right, Castle told her last night that he was going to join his family.

"Sorry for holding him up Alexis, he is probably waiting for me to leave"

She had stopped Castle from going to his family, now she felt bad. He had been asleep when she had called him, he had probably figured on making an early start in the morning. Her being there and Josh turning about had probably put his plans in disarray.

"That's ok Kate, did you need to wrap up lose ends from the case?"

"Ah no"

"Then why are you there so early in the morning. You're not working another case are you?"

Beckett bit her lip, she walked right into that one. What should she tell her?. The truth! Alexis was practically a grown woman, they hadn't really done anything.

"I umm couldn't sleep last night. You Dad was nice enough to let me come over and veg out on your couch for a few hours until I finally fell asleep."

Beckett waited for a response, but didn't get one.

"I hope that's ok with you?"

"What, yeah of course. I am glad Dad wasn't alone last night. I know Dad walks around like he is Superman sometimes. He acts like nothing can hurt him, but that's all that is, an act. He is vulnerable just like the rest of us"

Beckett sighed, it seemed Little Castle had just as must insight as Big Castle. When Castle had pulled her into his arm last night,he had squeezed her tight. He had rested his head lightly on her own and she swore she felt him place more than one kiss there. His body seemed to relax behind her own. Maybe coming home to an empty house had been as scary as it had been for her once Josh had left. Her need to be held had been so strong, maybe his need to hold someone had been too.

"Well he wasn't wearing red lycra underwear from what I saw this morning but I swear he must have been wearing it yesterday."

Alexis laughed.

"Sometimes Dads crazy stunts actually turn out to be ok. Say Kate if you not working, why don't you come with Dad?"

Becketts lip was getting a work out today.

"Umm gee I don't know Alexis"

"Right of course, I mean you probably want to spend the time with Josh. Dad told me he came back."

Castle spoke to his daughter about her relationship with Josh!. That was a bit unusual. He would have spoken to his daughter after the freezer incident and then obviously called when they survived the bomb. How had the topic of conversation switched to her and Josh.

"Actually we broke up."

"Oh."

Beckett heard the suprise in her voice.

"Things just weren't working"

Why was she explaining to Castles daughter about ehr break up.

"Well coming to the Hamptons is exactly what you need. The weather has turned bad and the water is freezing but here are still some die hard excerise freaks running on the beach. You me and gram can sit out on the deck with a tub of ice cream each and have a perv fest. We have already seen quite a few today running with their shirts off."

On the deck! Beckett had a thing about houses with decks. She didn't know what it was but she just loved them. The idea of sitting out on one was appealing.

"It sounds nice Alexis"

"What sounds nice?"

Beckett turned to see Castle walking into the room. He was wearing a lose pair of shorts and he didn't seem any worse for wear.

"Alexis asked me to come up with you"

Castle smiled and nodded at her before taking his phone from her. "You should come."

Beckett shrugged. "I don't know. This should be family time."

"And your more than welcome to join in."

Castle saw the hesitant look in her face. He didn't want to push her but he would like nothing more than for her to join them.

"Look let me talk to Alexis for a bit while you think about it."

Beckett nodded.

"Ok. Where is my phone by the way, I'd like to make a call."

Castle frowned. "Umm I think I dropped it after Josh called. Try at the end of the bed"

Beckett walked off leaving Castle to his conversation with his daughter. She spotted her phone onto of her jacket on the floor at the end of the bed. She scrolled through it until she found the number she wanted. Hitting call she waited a few rings before the person on the other side picked up.

"Hey sweetie"

Authors Note: Hey all well I hoped you liked this extra chapter. I leave in four days so ill try fit some writing in between packing, researching my destination and heading to the bank. So hopefully ill be able to post a chapter the day after I get back.

Ok so one reviewer posed the question how did Josh know where Castle lived. So I did a little brain storming and come up with a few Castley style scenarios.

1.

Josh is secretly in the CIA, getting Castles address was child's play.

2.

Josh is really an alien and has chosen Castle as his mate. He is unhappy that Castle is so infatuated with a woman of all things. So he has implanted himself in Castle life as Kate's boyfriend, so he can slowly manipulate Kate into not liking Castle. She will eventually not let Castle work with her and when that happens Josh will be Castles shoulder to cry on and Josh will finally get his mate.

3.

Josh is a stalker and spends all his free time following Kate around.

4.

Kate had Josh pick her up/ drop her off at Castles place one time, much to his dismay.

Ok so those are my theories on how Josh knew where Castle lived. Pick whichever one you think suits this story or come up with you own

You fans are the greatest see ya in 2 weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

Aint no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

"Hey Sweetie".

"Hey Lanie, you up for some girl talk?"

"From you, hell yeah!"

Beckett sighed. Where to start? Josh? Castle? What did she want to reveal? What did she want to keep secret? Not that she kept secrets from Lanie; she just didn't show her all her cards in one hit.

"So did you and Josh have a wild night, swing from any chandeliers?"

Beckett shook her head, sometimes Lanie was worse than Castle.

"No, we got into a fight then the hospital called so he went in."

"Oh I'm sorry. I thought Josh coming back meant you guys had a chance at fixing things, what happened?"

What happened, that's exactly what she wanted to know, 24 hours ago she would never dreamed she would be standing in Castles bedroom.

"I guess after everything that's happened recently, I'm just looking at things differently."

"Did you wanna talk about why you fought?"

Beckett sighed. Yes, No. Lanie was her friend she would understand, then maybe she could explain it to her. Beckett began to pace.

"I was glad when I found out Josh came back, and it was nice when he turned up at the precinct to take me home. It felt good having someone there you know."

"I know what you mean. I was single for a long time before Javi came along. I mean sure I dated a lot but I didn't have a man there if I needed one."

That was the whole point; Josh wasn't there when she needed him. He had come through last night but that was once. Just once out of how many times she needed him.

"Lanie, you know those woman who have their whole wedding planned right down to the tiniest details, all they need is a groom. They're more in love with the idea of being married rather than who they will be married to. I think I was kind of like that with Josh. I was more in love with the idea of being in a relationship but the reality of it wasn't what I thought it would be. Being with Josh was easy and that's how I liked it, easy. In the end though it took work to stay in it. It was getting harder and harder for me to pretend things were ok."

"Oh sweetie, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because, I didn't want to admit to another failed relationship."

"So is that what you fought about last night."

If only it were that easy. Beckett turned and sat at the end of Castles bed.

"No not exactly. When we got back to my place he wanted to sit on the couch and snuggle. Honestly Laine that was the last thing I wanted to do, cuddle with Josh"

"Hey I don't blame you. There are times I just wanna sit on my own. Javi already knows to stay away when it's my time of the month"

"It's not that I didn't want to be held, it's that I didn't want to be held by him."

Beckett shivered at the memory. Josh's arms slithering around her body.

"I sat on the couch and he practically sat on top of me. He pulled me close and started to nuzzle my neck. I had to close my eyes and pretend to be somewhere else. It got to a point where I couldn't put up with it anymore, I had to stand up and walk away from him."

"I didn't realise things had gotten that bad."

It's not like she hadn't told Lanie about the issue with Josh but she had kind of glossed over them. Lanie didn't brag about her relationship with Esposito but it was clear it was going well, and she kind of felt jealous. She was happy for her friend but she just wanted the kind of relationship she had.

"I guess I wasn't ready to give up just yet. Is that wrong, to stay in a relationship that I know isn't working."

"It's not wrong, but it's not healthy."

Lanie was right; being in a relationship with Josh wasn't healthy. It had been though, when they first met. She had been in a funk and Josh had brought her out of it, but after that she hadn't needed him."

"I know that now"

"So what happened after you got up from the couch?"

Beckett sighed remembering.

"Josh got really annoyed. Wanted to know why I didn't want to be held by him. Telling me he thought I'd be more appreciative considering he came back for me."

She should have ended it then.

"Wow"

"Yeah. It probably would have gotten worse but he got the call. The hospital knows he is back and they were desperate."

"In the middle of a fight though."

"Honestly, I was happy to see him go. After the day I had, I just wanted to get into a hot shower and crawl into bed."

"A good hot shower comes in second to ice cream and a sappy movie, to cure what ails ya."

"Except it made me feel worse."

Beckett blinked trying to force back the tears that were threatening to fall at the memory of what had happened.

"How do you mean worse?"

"I don't know what happened, I just lost it. One minute I'm standing there, the next I'm sliding to the ground, staring at a speck of mould on the tile."

"Did you collapse; maybe you should see a doctor or maybe come and see me?"

"I didn't collapse; it was like I had just given up. I just sat there staring, feeling so empty and lost and alone. It scared the hell out of me. I felt myself slipping into the darkness. The same darkness I felt when I lost my mother. I have felt it coming on before but I always had someone around to pull me back from it. Last night I was alone. I got out of the shower so quickly. I had to do something to stop myself from slipping"

"You didn't do anything stupid, did you?"

Beckett bit her lip.

"Define stupid"

"I don't know girl, get drunk and get a tattoo or shave your head or sleep with a strange man"

Beckett thought about it, technically she had slept with a strange man. Although he was a different kind of strange.

"I went to see Castle."

"Really."

"That's all you have to say, really."

She had honestly expected Lanie to give a girlie squeal, maybe even a 'you go girl'.

"I'm saving it up. I am assuming there is more to this story, which is why you called me, right?"

Wow Lanie knew her so well, and here she thought she kept even her closest friends at a distance.

"So are you going to spill? Why did you go to Castles? I should be offended that you didn't come and see me but I am so intrigued about why you went to see Castle, to care."

"Did Esposito tell you how he found us?"

"He said Alexis called and... "

"No I don't mean that, I mean."

Beckett sighed. Why was this so hard to confess?

"When they found us in the freezer Castle had his arms around me."

"Understandable, you had to keep warm."

Yes initially that's what it had been about.

"Once we realised we were trapped Castle wanted to hold me but I wouldn't let him. I think I actually said when hell freezers' over. He sat there while I kept pacing thinking about me life. Where it was going, what I was doing. I started wondering if my mother thought those exact same thoughts. That's when the darkness started creeping up on me. The coldness wasn't coming from the freezer it was coming from inside of me. I felt so much despair and then I saw Castle sitting there so calm. I wanted what he had, so I went and sat next to him. He put his arms around me without a word; we sat there silently for so long. The minute I was in his arms I felt better"

"Of course you did sweetie you were warmer"

Beckett laughed.

"I tried to rationalise it to but it was more than warm. I felt safe, I was about to die yet I felt safe and cared for. I felt like nothing bad could happen to me while I was in his arms. When I started freaking out in the shower my first thought was to get to Castle, to have him hold me. I almost chickened out though, it was midnight after all. I sat in my car for 2 hours outside of his place debating whether I was crazy for being there or not. Somehow just sitting out there knowing he was close, gave me some relief, but not enough. I got out of the car and started to go inside, but I couldn't, I felt like I was weak if I did, so I called him. Even in his sleep deprived state he knew something was wrong, he came outside and found me. He took me inside and then didn't act like a jack ass when I asked him to hold me. I told him not to make a big deal out of it and he didn't, he just held me."

"Did it make you feel better?"

Beckett lay down on Castles bed and let out a long groan.

"Oh so good, better than making love to a bowl of ice cream"

After a particularly hard case they had coined that phase because of the sucking and slurping and of course the groaning that went on while eating it.

"Wow"

"I know you can't imagine the sense of relief I felt. You'd think being held by Castle would make me tense or nervous but it didn't. It felt so amazing, better than some of the sex I've had lately?"

"I'm not even going to touch that. So how long did you stay for?"

Beckett bit her lip, the volcano was about to explode.

"I haven't left yet."

"What! You stayed the night, where did you sleep?"

"His bed"

"And where did sleep?"

Beckett took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Same place."

"OH MY GOD GIRL! And you're telling me this over the phone"

"Calm down Lanie, nothing happened. All we did was sleep, separate blankets and everything. I was still with Josh remember"

"Was?"

Damn she picked up on that.

"While I was still asleep Josh called me and Castle answered. Josh got it into his head that Castle and I were having an affair and he came over. He started yelling and carrying on, Castle tried to explain that nothing was going on but Josh wouldn't listen."

"Castle denied it?"

"Of course Castle denied it. Nothing happened. Nothing has ever happened between Castle and me. I'll be the first to admit at times Castle can be a real jack ass and I want to shoot him, but I know he would never intentionally hurt me. Josh on the other hand wasn't concerned about being hurt by my so called betrayal, rather his reputation. So I ended it, not exactly the best time to do it but I had already let it go on for too long."

"Damn girl, you have had a wild time of it"

Beckett raked a hand through her hair.

"Tell me about it. I'm just so confused. I mean I am not even upset about breaking up with Josh, I mean there is the sense of loss that I am no longer in a relationship, but that's it. Then there is the whole thing with Castle I don't know how to handle it."

"What's there to handle, you said nothing happened."

Beckett sighed.

"Well yeah, nothing sexual happened but I did go to his house in the middle of the night. I asked him to hold me, I stayed to night."

"Girl I did more than that at a sleep over when I was 13. You told Castle not to make a big deal out of it, you said he didn't. End of story. Say thank you for being a friend and get out of there. After a few days apart you can put it behind you and continue on as normal, if that's what you want."

Is that what she wanted? To go back to the way they were before.

"So you think we should spend time apart."

"Well what were you planning on doing, spending the weekend with him?"

Beckett stayed silent.

"Oh my god you were. You go girl, get your freak on"

"Lanie" Beckett said in frustration. "Martha and Alexis are at their house in the Hamptons, Castle is going to go join them for the next two days. Alexis asked me to come along to. She said we could hang out on the deck eating ice cream and checking out hot runners."

"You should go."

Beckett was confused.

"But you just said we should spend time apart."

"Well yeah, to stop you having a freak out and over thinking things. I think you should go and have fun, relax. I think it would be good for all of you."

"All of us?"

"Yeah. Alexis nearly lost you yesterday too. Think about it, she doesn't have the best female role models. It might do her good to see you're alive and well."

Beckett bit her lip, she really liked Alexis. On some level she felt connected with the almost motherless child. Martha was quite fun to be around too and she could really do with more fun in her life. However what was Castle going to think?

"I don't want to give Castle the wrong impression though"

"Kate really! His mother and daughter are going to be there. It's not like he is going to try make wild monkey sex to you. Spend time with Castle and his family and just relax and try and have fun."

Beckett gritted her teeth, and then looked up when she heard a knock at the door.

"Ahh Lanie I got to go, Castle is at the door. Any last minute advice."

"Let your hair down, and I want all the details."

Beckett hanged up her phone and then went to open the door. Castle gave her an almost nervous smile.

"Everything ok? Did you get in touch with Josh?"

"Josh?" she asked surprised, he thought she had called Josh.

"Yeah. Isn't that why you wanted your phone?"

Beckett shook her head. "No I wanted it for some girl talk."

A grin broke out on his face.

"Ahhh girl talk. So I am guessing the role of the friend was played by Lanie."

Beckett nodded. "So I've been meaning to ask you, since when do you play the role of the person who listens and not judges" she was referring to Castles statement to Josh about how he was what she needed last night.

Castle shrugged.

"Well I guess I got tired of playing the annoying but lovable comic relief type character, I thought I'd try something new on for size."

Beckett nodded.

"Well you did a good job but don't underestimate the need one has for the comic relief character."

Castles grin widened as he nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Beckett looked as the smile reached his eyes and she became trapped by them again. She bit her lip and looked away, when did she become so weak.

"So umm, do I have time to go home and shower, pack a few things?"

"You're coming?"

The excitement in his voice was evident, how she wished she could get as excited as he did over the littlest things.

"I could really use a few days to relax; Alexis made it seem so appealing."

Castle rubbed his hands together with glee.

"You are going to have a great time I promise."

Beckett tuned and went and to pick up her jacket.

"I should go."

As she walked past Castle she stopped.

"Thanks Castle, for last night, for yesterday, for the future"

Authors Note: Hey all well sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. As some of you might know I went on holiday and it turned out to be way more fun than I expected. I went on a South Pacific cruise with my mum and I honestly expected to get alot of early nights, thus then getting up early and sitting out on my balcony and doing some writing. I also hoped to do some writing during some down time during the day. Umm yeah that didn't happen. My mum went to bed early as she couldn't get her sea legs I on the other hand made a few friends and had to sneak back into my room at 330 am after spending all night partying, on more than one occasion, well ok every night . So I've come back from my holiday totally exhausted, sleeping alot and of course I've come down with a shocking cough. I have however gotten a bit more direction on where this story is going and have sorted it out in my head just need to type it out. So hopefully it wont be ages before you get another chapter.

Oh btw being from Australia we are so behind the times we are only getting the season final of castle tonight ahhhhhh. I have my sisters birthday dinner and fathers day to attend but I have already warned them I'm leaving at 9 pm so I can get home in time to watch Castle. I have already warned my hubby that I am going to cry. In my frustration I have been on you tube and watched a few clips from the final ep and because I have been reading a few fan fic that let me know what happened but I still haven't seen it yet, so please send tissues my way. I so hope we get the new season when you guys do or I'm going to be living on you tube. Oh by the way if check out some of the Castle clips people have made on you tube they are so awesome, you will love it.

You guys are great see ya soon


	5. Chapter 5

Ain't no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett's eyes opened as she felt the car stop. She hadn't been sleeping, merely laying back and enjoying the feeling of letting go. Leaning forward Beckett peered out of the front wind shield.

"Is this it?" she asked, almost immediately regretting it when she saw the crestfallen look on his face. She realised her question came out sounding like she was a sullen teenager.

"Why? Don't you like it?"

Beckett wondered if she told him no, how long would it take for a 'for sale' sign to appear out the front.

"It looks nice, it's just not what I expected."

Castle looked at the two story structure before him than back at Beckett.

"What exactly did you expect"

Beckett shrugged.

"Oh I don't know? Something larger! Big glittery billboard to rival those in time square announcing this is the summer home of the great Richard Castle."

"You think I am great" he asked with a smile.

Beckett shook her head and climbed out of the car. Castle hadn't said if the car was a rental or not but she hadn't argued when he texted her that he would be picking her up. Reaching into the back Beckett pulled out her one and only bag before walking back to face the dwelling.

"When I bought this place I wanted something different. Something peaceful, and relaxing. The whole point of a summer place is to escape where you live."

"The inside is still decked out with the lasted hi tech equipment right?"

Castle smiled.

"Of course."

"Dad!"

Beckett and Castle turned to the voice.

"Kate you came" came the excited sequel from Alexis.

Beckett turned to Castle.

"You didn't tell her I was coming?"

Beckett never got to hear his response as Alexis threw her arms around her causing Beckett to stumble back.

"I am so glad you're ok" Beckett heard Alexis mumble against her shoulder.

At first Beckett was shocked that the teen had her arms wrapped around her tightly. When it became obvious she wasn't letting go anytime soon. Beckett dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around Alexis, squeezing her tight. Visions of her mother flashed in her head. Did her mother feel like this when she had hugged her? The happy memories caused Beckett to re-enact what her mother always did when they hugged. She held Alexis even tighter and then swayed back and forth. When she felt Alexis loosen her arms Beckett did too.

"Sorry about that" Alexis told her rather sheepishly. "We're a hugging kind of family and I sometimes forget that others aren't."

"Well I am not usually but it was nice to see that someone was worried about me."

Hearing Castle clear his throat the two women looked towards him.

"I think your Dad is jealous."

Alexis fully extracted herself out of Beckett's arms and turned towards her Dad with her arms outstretched.

"Daddy"

Castle held his hand up and stepped back.

"No way, you can't just chose Beckett over the person who gave you life and then think I'd be ok with that"

Beckett couldn't help but grin at Castle teasing his daughter. Alexis put her hands on her hips and frowned at her dad.

"If you had to choose between the person who gave you life and Kate, who would you choose?"

Castle opened his mouth and then closed it frowning for a second before I smile broke over his face.

"Pumpkin" he said opening his arms out wide.

Alexis laughed and threw herself into her Dads arms. Beckett watched as Castle lifted his daughter off her feet and swung her around. Sadness hit Beckett suddenly, first images of her mother and now her father. She remembered being a little girl and running to meet her father when he came home from work, and throwing herself into her own father's arms. Beckett couldn't remember the last time she had called him, let alone the last time they hugged.

"So do you guys want to eat, we have plenty of pasta salad leftover"

Castle turned to Beckett and she nodded. When Castle turned up at her place he had brought with him her prerequisite coffee and a pastry. When they walked back out to his car she noticed a squished paper bag on the ground. He had obviously dropped one of the pastries and sacrificed his own hunger for her. Once they were settled in his car Beckett had torn the pastry in half and had offered it to him. That was the last thing she had eaten.

"I'll get the food organised and let Gram know your here, we're out on the deck. Dad put Kate in the green room ok" Alexis then sprinted off towards the house.

"Green room" Beckett asked as she followed Castle towards the house.

"When I bought the house the owner had redone all of the bedrooms. Floors, walls, bed, sheets, stuffed toys, everything was the same colour. A different colour for each bedroom, it was sickening but Alexis loved the pink room. I kept the walls and floors the same, it was brand new, but I went and made sure the furniture and everything else in the rooms were different colours. We still call the rooms by their colours though."

Beckett peaked around what she could see of the house as Castle led her up stairs. At the top of the stairs Beckett saw a corridor with doors on either side.

"On the left we have Alexis room, which is the pink room. We then have the purple room, bathroom, Mothers room, which we call the yellow room but she calls the gold room. Across on the right we have my room, the green room and the peach room. You can pick any room you like, ill just put my stuff away ok"

Beckett nodded and started to follow Castle as he walked towards his room. Beckett stopped at the purple room and looked in. It was a nice room, queen size bed, creamy white bed covers. It was next to Alexis' room which she thought was a safe option. Curiosity killed the cat however and Beckett wanted to know why Alexis suggested the green room. She didn't think Alexis was the kind of person to try and play matchmaker. Beckett made her way over to the green room, just for a peak she told herself. She took two steps in and stopped in shock. The room was almost double the size of the purple one but what had her stopping in shock was the window. It was a large bay window, but it was more than that, it was a window seat. Beckett dropped her bag and practically ran to the window. Sitting on the seat Beckett ran her hands over the padding that not only covered an area the size of single bed but also ran halfway up the walls of the bay window. Beckett rested her back against the padded wall and then noticed the curtain that wasn't against the windows rather on the outside of the wall. Beckett looked up and saw the rail that ran across the top of the ceiling. Tugging at the curtain Beckett closed it all the way effectively creating a little secret hiding spot. Beckett raised her knees then looked out the window. This would be the perfect spot to sit and read for hours. Beckett jumped when Castle stuck his head in through the side of the curtain.

"Hi."

Beckett smiled guiltily.

"Hi."

"You like it in here?"

Beckett nodded.

"It's a shame I didn't bring a good book."

Castle smiled.

"Well I'm sure I could find a few of my books lying around somewhere for you."

Beckett scoffed. "I said a good book Castle"

"Ha ha very funny Beckett. If I know you, and I'm pretty sure I do, you already have one of my books stuffed into the bottom of your bag."

Beckett opened her mouth to object but then thought better of it. Damn he did know her well.

"So I'm hungry, where is the deck."

Beckett and Castle made their way back downstairs and through what Beckett noticed was a very gorgeous house. When Beckett made her way out onto the deck she was immediately enveloped in another hug.

"It's good to see you alive and well."

This time Beckett didn't hesitate, she squeezed her arms tightly around Martha. Any fear she may have had about coming here, were abolished. She needed this, she needed to be held and hugged and cared for. Beckett wasn't sure what it was but these Castles sure knew how to give the most amazing hugs. Well technically Martha wasn't a Castle she was a Rogers, well technically Castle and Alexis weren't Castles they were Rogers. Although now Beckett thought about it Rogers could be Martha's stage name. Shaking her head Beckett let go of Martha, she was defintly spending way too much time with Castle, she was now thinking like he did.

Beckett sat down at the encouragement of Martha and eagerly dug into the pasta salad that sat before her. She sat and watched the interaction between the three family members. It was obvious there was a lot of love shared between them. Her own family had been like that. Sure they had their ups and downs just as she was sure the Castle family had, but they always knew they loved each other. At least they did until one event tore all of that apart. She had a family and now it was gone, it wasn't fair. She shouldn't be sitting here invading on Castles family time, she should be at her parents' home, sitting with her mother and her father talking and laughing. Experiencing the same joy the people before her were.

"Beckett."

Why, why did this have to happen to her?.

"Beckett."

Why did her mother have to die?.

"Kate!"

Startled, Beckett looked at Castle, then at Alexis and then Martha and then back down at her plate.

"Hey" Castle said placing a hand on her arm. "Are you ok?"

Beckett looked up at him and he noticed the empty look in her eyes.

"I was thinking about my mother" she told him.

"You disappeared on us Kate." This came not from Castle but Alexis

Beckett frowned at her.

"What?"

"Its like you disappeared, your body was here but your mind was gone, does that happen often."

"No"

"Yes"

The yes response had come from Castle and she glared at him.

"Whenever something comes up with your mother's case or something similar you get that empty look in on your face. It's kinda scary really."

He was scared. HE WAS SCARED.

"Do you have any idea what how scary it was for me to lose my mother, to lose my family."

"You lost your mother once Beckett. We lose you every time you think about your mother. While you're missing you're mother, we're missing you, because you are just not here."

"How dare you. How could you possibly think that's even the same. I lost my entire family"

"No you didn't" Alexis told her.

"Alexis" Castle warned.

"But she's wrong Dad. She didn't lose her family, she lost her mother. That can't be easy, I get that. My mother is alive but she is never here when I need her and that's hard, but if I spent all my life thinking about all the times my mother should have been here when she's not, then I'd never live. You didn't lose your family Kate, you lost your mother. Families aren't about people you are related to by blood or marriage. They aren't even the stereotypical 2 parents living in the same house with a white picket fence, 2.5 children and a dog. Its people who love and care for each other and if you think no loves and care for you Kate then you're wrong. You are so wrong. You have me and Grams and Dad and all your friends at the precinct. We are here, we are alive and we care about you. When you think about your mom and disappear, we hurt. We hurt because you're in pain but we hurt because we don't want to lose you"

Beckett started at the teen, the words sinking in deeply. She was right she was so right. Her family wasn't gone; it was sitting right before her. It was at the precinct. Her relationship with her father was strained but maybe because she had shut down just like her father had. If she just put in a little effort maybe she could get abck what she once had.

"Alexis, apologize to Detective Beckett."

"But Dad."

"Now!" he told her sternly.

Beckett turned and looked at Castle. He never rose his voice and especially not at Alexis.

"No Castle, she doesn't have to apologize."

"But Beckett"

"No" she told him. "It's about time someone slapped me about the head to make me see sense. If not my family" she said smiling at Alexis. "Then who? I've spent too many years wallowing in my own grief, I never realized I was causing other people pain. Maybe I should stop thinking about what I don't have and start thinking about what I do have, and that's great friends and family who have put up with my antics for too long. My mother's death will always plague me, but I need to start remembering the good things, to honour her memory. She would be so mad to see how far apart my dad and I have drifted and I need to fix that. My mother really enjoyed life and it's about time I started. Alexis I know I said I'm not from a hugging family but as you pointed out, you're my family and you guys hug. Would it not be to awkward if I asked d for one?"

Beckett watched as the teen smiled and practically jumped out of her chair. Beckett rose and eagerly anticipated the hug, she felt a sense of relief when Alexis' arms came around her.

"My mother used to hug me like this" she said squeezing her tight and rocking her back and forth like she had done earlier.

"If it makes you happy to hug me like Kate then I'm all for it."

Beckett pulled back from Alexis but kept her in her arms.

"How did you get so smart?"

Alexis shrugged. "Defintly not from my mum"

"She gets it from me" Castle told them.

Looking at Castle then back at each other, the pair rolled their eyes.

"Freak of nature?" Beckett asked.

Alexis nodded and laughed. "Yeah I'll go with that."

"Alexis let the poor girl eat" Martha had watched the exchange between the two women in silence. She had seen the lost empty look cross Becketts face, had know she was thinking about a loved one. She had seen the same look her reflection whenever she thought about Richard's father. For Richard's sake she had pulled herself up by the bra straps. It wasn't that she didn't feel the pain anymore, it was that her son needed her more. If Beckett had something to help her move on, then maybe she could lead a happy life too.

"Eat kiddo, then we can get on with playing some board games."

"Board games" Beckett asked surprised at the simplicity of it. She assumed laser tag, or some game on the latest game system.

"We play everything from snakes and ladders, to monopoly" Alexis told her.

"Beckett might just want to relax and read a book" Castle told his family.

Beckett poked at the salad before her. Reading a book on the window seat did sound appealing, even just sitting out on the deck was good too. However those were activities she could do on her own and she had spent way too much time on her own.

"Board games sound great."

"We could play Taboo."

"What's Taboo?" It had been awhile since she had sat down and played a board game. The last time had probably been in high school at a slumber party.

"It's a word guessing, like Pictionary or charades, except you can talk. You have to get your team to guess the word and you have 5 words you can't say. It's really fun" Alexis told her.

"If we play, I'm not being partners with Richard. For the life of me, I can't figure out how a man who makes his living out of words could be so bad at Taboo."

Beckett laughed. For someone who was normally so cocky it was good to see him taken down a few pegs, by his mother of all people.

"Well I guess we could play something else. Jenga maybe"

Beckett frowned.

"If Martha won't pair up with your Dad cant you or I partner him instead." She had never played the game before but she figured they would be split into two teams.

"We could" Alexis told her. "But the penalty for losing isn't worth it."

"Penalty?"

"No ice cream for dessert and its really great ice cream from this place nearby. Sorry Dad but I am not willing to risk it"

Castle crossed his arms and frowned.

"Well come on Beckett are you going to kick me while I'm down too."

Beckett looked at Castle and took pity on him.

"I'll partner you Castle."

Castle's eyebrow rose.

"Really."

Beckett shrugged.

"Sure why not."

"Great. I'll go set it up"

Alexis got up from the table and walked off into the house. Martha got up too and began to clear the table while Beckett and Castle finished eating. By the time they were done, Alexis had the game set up along with a pile of games sitting off to the side. Alexis started first giving Beckett an idea of how to play the game, then it was her turn.

Beckett looked at the card.

Milky Way.

How was she supposed to describe Milky Way. She couldn't say Sky, Stars, Night, Planets or Universe. Great that narrowed it down. Beckett bit her lip.

"Umm ok so it's up there" she said looking up. Large gestures and hand signals were not allowed.

"Ceiling" Castle yelled out.

"No, like further up, like up higher. And there are stars and stuff in it."

Beckett heard a squeak and she swore. She had said one of the words she wasn't supposed to and Alexis had squeezed the plastic toy to let her know. Flicking the next card over she looked at the word. Greenhouse. She couldn't say vegetables, dirt, grow, plants, fertiliser. Well that left her a lot of options.

"Umm where things are created, nature things."

"A lab."

"Try breaking the word down" Alexis offered.

Beckett looked at the word. Greenhouse. Green, House.

"Umm ok what colour is my room"

Castle frowned.

"Green?"

"Right that's the first bit now the second is a place you live?"

"Apartment?"

Beckett glared at him.

"House" Castle shouted excitably. "Green House"

"Yes" Beckett said clapping.

Squeak.

"Times up" Alexis announced.

Wow 60 seconds went real quick. Beckett rubbed her hands over her thighs, they were sweaty. The game was a lot harder then she originally thought. After the first round the score 7 to 3 and not in their favour. She had delighted in the fact that she had guessed two of Castles words but he claimed that it was his great descriptive skills. Either way they were losing.

Beckett was halfway through her turn when she flipped over the next card after Castle had correctly guessed the word.

Mother.

Beckett froze.

Mother. Death, Murder, Killed, Loss, Empty.

"We can skip that card Kate" Alexis informed her.

Beckett looked down at the card again.

Mother. Father, Family, Birth, Parents, Relative.

Beckett looked up at Castle and then to the woman sitting next to him.

"Who is the woman sitting next to you"

Castle looked at his mother than back at her.

"A crazy drunk lady" he said with a smile.

Beckett glared at him, they were losing and ice-cream was on the line here.

"Ill get you back for that kiddo" Martha said reaching forward and picking up her glass of wine.

"What is she?" Beckett asked again.

Castle frowned.

"An actress. Oh oh oh. Angelina Jolie."

Beckett shook her head.

"No, No. What is she to you."

Castle looked at his Mother again.

"She is my Mother."

"Right."

Squeak.

Beckett leaned back on the couch as she waited for Martha to take her turn. Martha set her glass down on the coffee table picked up the first card as Castle turned the timer over.

"Go"

Martha looked at the card, a mischievous look came over her face.

"Alexis in your Fathers wildest fantasies, he would like to go to his, sweep it clean with one arm and make sweet love to Kate up against it."

Beckett eyes widened as did Castles. He looked at the card in his mother's hand, then looked at her.

"That's what you come up with mother"

She shrugged.

"I told you, I'd get you back. Come on Alexis, time is ticking."

"Grams" She said rather embarrassed.

"Come on dear, ice cream is on the line here"

"Umm, Bed"

Martha shook her head.

"I said wildest fantasies."

Alexis thought about it.

"Umm desk."

"Bingo, next card."

A short time later Alexis returned from the bathroom. She had been holding it for way to long and she couldn't hold it any longer. When they had finished their turn she had quickly ducked out to the bathroom leaving her grandmother to monitor Kate and her father's turn. Although they had a shaky start, the pair and taken the lead and had been 5 cards away from wining. Alexis was annoyed that they hadn't said first to 40 not 30. Her father had beaten there all time record and guessed 6 of Kate's words. Walking back into the room Alexis was surprised to see Kate still firing descriptions at her father. Surly there turn was over by now, Alexis looked at the timer and sure enough there minute was up. Alexis looked at her grandmother wondering why she hadn't stopped them, but sensing her presence her grandmother held up a hand at her to stop. Alexis watched as card after card was placed into the pile of correct guesses.

"Ok Castle so you know that case we worked on like a month ago, think the total opposite of that"

No way was her father going to guess that, how random was that statement anyway.

"Sky diving"

"Yes correct" Beckett said bouncing in glee.

"What the"

Both Castle and Beckett turned to look at Alexis then down at the timer.

"Oh I guess our times up" Beckett gathered up the correct cards. "I guess we won"

"Yes" Castle exclaimed before getting up and doing a victory dance.

Alexis covered her eyes in embarrassment as her father started doing Beyonce inspired moves. Beckett laughed but then pulled out her phone quickly snapping a picture.

"Esposito, will love that shot Castle"

Castle halted his movements and looked over at Beckett in horror. She hadn't taken a picture had she. He was doing a victory dance for them ,they had won, the ice cream was theirs. Castle stalked towards Beckett and tried to reach for her phone but Beckett did her best to try hold it out of his reach. Kneeling on the couch Castle tried again to get the phone but she attempted to wiggle away from him still holding the phone high. The phone was then snatched out of Beckett's hands by his daughter.

"Thank you Alexis, delete the image will you."

His daughter shook her head and stated laughing at the image. Castle got up from his very close to Beckett position on the couch and walked towards his daughter.

"Come on pumpkin. Hand it over."

She shook her head and ran to the other side of the room. Castle took chase dodging furniture trying to get to his daughter and Becketts phone. When he finally cornered his daughter she smiled before throwing the phone over his head. He turned and watched as the phone landed directly into Becketts hand and he briefly wondered where his daughter learned to throw, certainly not from him. Castle watched as Beckett tapped at her phone a few times.

"Hey Alexis, you know how to post pictures on the official Richard Castle website right."

"Yep" he heard his daughter reply.

"No, No Beckett you can't, please."

"Relax Castle" she said giving her phone one last tap. "I'm deleting the photo."

He watched as Beckett turned the phone so he could see the image. Oh god if that photo got out he was a dead man, he didn't realise he looked that foolish. He watched as she hit the delete button and the image vanished.

"Thank you" he said relieved but it was short lived as he saw his daughter now playing with her phone. "What are you doing" he asked.

"Just texting Ashley" she said innocently.

"All that talking has made me thirsty" Beckett said trying to get the attention away from Alexis.

"I'll get you a drink" he offered.

Beckett shook her head.

"I can get it."

Beckett walked off towards the kitchen.

"But you're a guest" Castle yelled out chasing after her.

Alexis sat on the couch and showed her grandmother the picture of her dad that Kate had sent to her. Martha shook her head at her sons antics.

"Why did you let them keep going after the time was up?"

Martha took a long sip of her wine.

"They were fun to watch. The way the two bounced off each other, you can't fake that. It was like bam, bam, bam. We try to replicate that on stage and it's nearly impossible to get the timing right. It's clear Kate and your father, have a connection, that none of us will be able to understand."

"I like Kate"

"Me too"

"But" Alexis asked hearing the almost doubt in her voice.

"When your father started talking about Kate I was really worried"

"But why?" Alexis asked confused. "Kate is great"

Martha nodded. "She is also un like any other woman your father has been interested in."

"You mean because there is no silicon in sight."

Martha laughed. "That and the fact that she has a brain."

"Isn't that a good thing. Remember the one that didn't know Alaska was part of the United States."

"What it means that for once in his life your father has to work to impress this one. She's not going to be sated with pretty little gifts or trips to galas. He has to show her the real him and hope that's enough"

"Again isn't that a good thing."

Martha shrugged. "When you show people all your cards, you open yourself up, you're vulnerable. There is more of a chance that you will get hurt and that it will hurt twice as much."

"Do you think Beckett will hurt Dad?"

Martha sighed. "I think they both have the potential to hurt each other"

Alexis sighed and wrapped her arms around her grandmother.

"I hope not."

Authors Note: Wow what a long chapter. I couldn't figure out where to stop it for a chapter break so I kept writing. Thank you so much for all your fabulous reviews. I'll admit to leaving them in my inbox for a few days as I was too scared to read them , but you guys are great. No joke finally when I read the reviews, I climbed out of bed and started jumping and screaming to my hubby that I got some awesome reviews and they want more. Haa haa. Hope this chapter is what you hoped it would be.


	6. Chapter 6

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth.

Beckett closed the book in her lap and stretched. She had been sitting in the same place for well over an hour. Beckett twisted herself and then rolled onto her stomach looking out the window. She had bought pillows and a blanket onto the window seat to enhance her reading experience; they were now lying in a rumpled mess beneath her. Beckett laid her head on her hands and sighed. She wasn't tired just yet but she knew better than to read too much before bed. On more than one occasion Derrick had ended up in her dreams, something Castle would never find out about. Rolling onto her back Beckett started up at the ceiling and noticed yellow plastic stars. Pushing herself up Beckett reached up for the light switch quickly flicking it off. The ceiling lit up. Stars and a few planets shone down on her. Beckett wondered if this had been an addition from Castle and Alexis or left over from the previous owner. Beckett found a pillow in the dark and settled herself under the fake starry night sky. She let go of a long breath she felt like she had been holding forever.

24 hours ago she had been sitting on her shower floor completely losing it. If someone had told her then that she would be spending the night in Castles place in the Hamptons she would have laughed, and then asked what meds were they on and if they weren't on any, then maybe they should be. It was strange how much one's life can change in such a short amount of time. Sweet happy memories of the day came back to her. After taboo they had then moved onto monopoly. After the first few rounds where she witnessed Castle clapping his hands together gleefully whenever he landed on a property he wanted Beckett decided she couldn't witness another victory dance. When he ducked off to the little boy's room she had hatched a plan with Alexis and Martha. It had to be subtle so Castle would pick up on it. So on purpoise all three would forget to mention when either of them landed on each other's property, but pointed out if Castle landed on any of theirs. The bank had been left between herself and Castle, so whenever she received money from Alexis or Martha she would hand them back the wrong change. Often she would hand them back more than they originally gave her, just in smaller notes. Castle kept building houses and hotels and they all kept landing on them and had to fork up loads of money but they never seemed to go bankrupt. The only problem had been whenever she went to buy something Castle would handle her money. Martha seeing her money slowly start to dwindle and had started passing her money under the wooden table. The first time Beckett felt a tap on her knee she thought it was Castle trying to cop a feel, then she realised it came from the other side. Eventually Castle went bankrupt and they called an end to the game.

At that point Martha announced she was going to organise dinner. Beckett raised her eyebrows at Martha cooking but Alexis informed her that there was an Italian restaurant not far away. Apparently for years, Maratha had a thing going with the owner, so whenever they came to the Hamptons, they got Italian for dinner. Even thought it was a bit early Alexis assured her that Martha would be gone for awhile, enough time for the three of them to play twister. First board games and then twister, Beckett was really letting her hair down. At first they attempted the three of them on the twister mat with whoever was closest spinning the wheel, but that led to disaster. Too much over balancing and taking out all of them, in the end they decided on spinner plays the winner. Castle ended up spending a lot of time spinning as Alexis and herself were pretty evenly matched. On the last game they played it was between herself and Castle. Beckett had herself in a downward dog pose with her butt in the air. Castle being Castle couldn't copy her stance, he had to be on all fours like a crab. A crab, that had managed to crawl himself halfway under her. She had to remind him that they were playing twister with his kid watching. Of course he acted coy and just smiled innocently at her. So Beckett informed him that if the next spin involved her moving her left leg, Alexis would remain an only child. A domino effect was the only way to explain what happen next. Alexis yelled out that she wanted a brother or a sister so he better move; this was obviously news to Castle as he wiped his head around to look at his daughter. The quick movement of his neck obviously caused him pain as Castle reached for his neck. This then caused him to overbalance and fall to the mat swinging, his legs around. His legs slammed into her own causing her to fall onto him. Castle then played twister with his body his hands scrambling for the parts of his body that were in pain. Alexis obviously didn't take her fathers injuries seriously as she launched herself into the fray. Castles yowling in pain turned to yowls of laughter as Alexis tickled him. Beckett had sat back and watched the display of love between father and daughter. When Castle pleaded with her to stop his daughter tickling her, she relented. She kind of felt bad for ganging up on him in monopoly so she grabbed Alexis by the waist and pulled her off Castle. She then began to tickle the teen with Castles help. After that the three of them were a mass of limbs and wiggly tickly fingers. She never knew who she was tickling or who was tickling her. All she knew was that she hadn't laughed so much in such a long time. The only reason the tickle fest stopped was because Martha had returned with the food. The tickle fest didn't seem to faze Martha; she just looked at them, announced 'dinners ready kids' then walked off.

Beckett rolled onto her stomach, a smile plastered on her face. Who would have thought playing games with Castle and his daughter would have brought so much joy and peace. Hearing a knock at her door Beckett rotated on her stomach like a skydiver and stuck her head out the curtain of the window seat. Beckett watched as her door and a head peaked in.

"Beckett" came the masculine voice of Castle said in a loud whisper.

"Over here" she told him.

Beckett sat up on her knees and flicked on the light.

"Hey, can I come in. I brought ice cream" he told her holding up a tub with 2 spoons.

Beckett nodded and pulled back the curtain inviting him to join her. He ran over to her with the twinkle toes way he always ran and she grudgingly admitted to herself that she loved. Except tonight it wasn't the tails on his jacket that were flailing behind him, it was the tails of his satin robe. He plopped himself down on the window seat before tucking one leg under himself the other hanging off the seat. Why was it that grown men couldn't cross their legs.

"Made yourself a little nest in here haven't you?"

Beckett shrugged smiling, watching as he looked over the mess she had created in her little hidey hole. Her smile dropped when Castles eyes locked onto the book she had been reading.

"Well, well, well what do we have here" he said picking up the book.

Beckett snatched up the ice cream in an attempt to distract Castle from the book. She ripped open the lid and eagerly dug a spoon in. Castle picked up the book and looked it over. It wasn't one of his best but the book looked well read either way. He flicked through the pages and the stopped when he caught sight of writing in the front pages. He looked at the words written there in shock.

"I signed this."

Beckett nodded licking the ice cream off the spoon before digging in again. She was trying not to look at him; trying not to blush at the fact she had gone and lined up for him to sign her book.

"I don't remember" he said almost in shock.

Beckett shrugged.

"No reason why you should. You have probably signed millions and millions of books."

"Not like this" he said shaking his head still looking at the words.

Beckett sighed; he was going to make a big deal out of it. She should have left the book in the bottom of her bag and found something else to read.

"What's the big deal?"

He chose now to look at her and she saw what almost looked like pain.

"What's the big deal, what's the big deal? The big deal is I don't normally sign books like this. Every time I do a book signing for a new book I come up with three phrases to sign. Something short and easy to write, sometimes incorporating the title or a line from the book in it. I come up with three so if I get a few people come in together they think I have personalized it. Sounds stupid but I want the fans to feel special. Sometimes I write something different, rarely but sometimes."

"Come on Castle, you honestly expect me to believe you didn't write that for everyone?"

Castle held up the book and then read the words she had read so many times before.

"_Some say your eyes are the windows to the soul; Don't close yours off to the world Kate!"_

Beckett closed her eyes as the words washed over her. How she had dreamed of hearing the words written in her books to be spoken by the man who had penned them.

"What did you think, when you read that" he asked. It was rare he got to speak to his fans without them squealing or trying to hand him there phone number.

Beckett opened her eyes and sighed for the millionth time in 24 hours.

"I thought how this complete stranger is seeing something that I've been hiding from my friends and family."

Castle was surprised by her admission and although he wanted to know more, he decided to let it drop. He had after all made it into her bedroom at almost midnight. Picking up his forgotten spoon Castle made to scoop some out for himself until he looked at Beckett slowly pulling her spoon out of her mouth. He then watched as she licked some of the left over chocolate syrupy goodness off her spoon. Chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup swirled through it was his favourite in the brand of ice cream they bought locally and now it was his all time favourite. Noticing Castle staring at her Beckett frowned.

"What?"

Castle shook his head.

"Nothing it's just I hope reincarnation does exist, cause I wanna come back as a spoon."

Beckett looked at the spoon and her eyes widen when she realised what she had been doing with her tongue. Too much time eating ice cream with Laine. Castle looked out the window, up at the ceiling back at the seat, anywhere but at Beckett. His pyjamas pants were loose but they could only hide so much. He stared at the cover of his book, well it wasn't his book it was Becketts.

"Didn't all your books burn when your apartment exploded? I recall helping you write a list of all the books you had to re buy. How did this one survive?"

Beckett tapped her spoon against her lips.

"I tell you and we never speak of it again."

Castle nodded.

"I mean it. Otherwise I send that photo of you dancing to Ryan and Esposito."

"Hey I thought you deleted that?"

"Castle" she warned.

"Ok fine" Castle held up his hands in surrender. If Beckett was reluctant to tell him, then it had to be juicy.

"Did you see any Richard Castle books on my list of new ones I need to buy?"

Castle shook his head. "No but I thought you were just being mean."

"Or I didn't need to buy another copy because I already had one."

Castle frowned. "I don't follow"

"I had to replace one of your books after it drowned."

"What, how did my book drown? Did you throw it in the river when you were angry at me or something?"

Beckett smiled and shook her head. It still amazed her at how quick his brain could come up with crazy theories.

"It was years before I met you. I was reading in the bath, went to reach for my wine, knocked my other hand and the book went swimming. So I had to..."

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Castle said interrupting her. "You were reading one of my books in the bath" he then swallowed deeply. "Naked"

Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Focus Castle"

"Focus" he scoffed. "You just told me you read one of my books in the bath and you expect me to focus"

Beckett shook her head. "I read your books in the bath all the time. Also in planes, trains, taxis, waiting for the doctor, even sitting on top of a chest of drawers one time for 3 hours. That's not the point. The point is i needed to get another copy. Do you know hard it is to buy a second hand Richard Castle book? It's like they don't exist. Once people buy them they don't want to get rid of them. When I first started reading your work, it took me months and moths to try and track down some of your earlier work. The more popular you became the harder it was. Once I realised how hard it was, I started collecting double copies. It's not that I don't take good care of my books it's just I believe they should be read and enjoyed anywhere, which means they may get damaged or lost. I have a small storage box, there are a few things of my mothers in there, copies of important documents and a copy of every single book you have written. The books aren't in perfect condition, in fact some are pretty trashed but they hold memories too, and some are signed which is why I put them away. The books I lost in the fire meant something to me to but not as much, ya know"

Beckett held her breath and waited for the onslaught. She expected a victory dance maybe, or a huge cocky grin, but she didn't get it. Castle simply nodded and then scooped up more ice cream. He seemed to be savouring the ice cream before swallowing and finally speaking.

"Give me a few days to get them out of storage, but I can get you a copy of all my books, if you like. That way you can put all of these away" he said indicating the worn out book sitting next to him.

Beckett wanted to refuse his offer. There was a certain amount of excitement finally tracking down the books and waiting for them to arrive. However she knew if she refused Castle he would just ignore her and she'd turn up one day and find the books on her desk.

"Thank you"

Castle nodded but was more focused on eating ice cream then looking up at her. She could practically hear his brain ticking.

"How many of my book do you have signed?"

"3" Ok that was a lie she had 7 but she wasn't going to tell him that. She had already revealed a big secret about having his books in storage; she didn't want to inflate his ego too much.

"Do you remember what they said" he couldn't believe she had 3 of his books sighed. How had he not seen her at the book signings?

Beckett bit her lip. Should she lie? should she tell the truth? After what Castle told her about the three phrases he used when signing, she had no doubt that 5 of the books had them.

"_I hope you have as much pleasure reading this as I had writing this_ or something like that" she recalled picking the most recent one she read. She knew all the signings by heart.

"And the other" he asked. Maybe if he knew which books she had got signed he would remember her being there.

Beckett debated lying to him, or giving him one of the others, but she couldn't betray him like that. He had been so open about sharing his family with her.

"_Something you do can change someone's life forever. One person can make a difference"_

"Did what I wrote make a difference"

Beckett nodded. Oh yeah it made a huge difference in her life.

"I'm glad"

The pair sat in silence eating the ice cream. Occasionally there spoons would duel for an extra syrupy chocolate swirly bit. When the tub was finished Castle leaned back and patted his belly.

"Winning is such a sweat victory"

Beckett couldn't agree more.

Castle grabbed their spoons and tub and dropped them on to the floor outside the curtain. He then twisted his body so he was facing the window; he pulled both his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. He placed his chin on his knees and looked out into the night. He sat that way just starring into the nothingness.

"Beckett about last night."

She knew it, she knew it. She had been waiting for the talk all day. She had hoped he wouldn't bring it up. She had told him not to make a big deal out of it. Obviously asking that of him was too much.

"I'm not going to make a big deal out of it I swear."

Wow had he just read her mind.

"I just want to talk about what happened so things aren't weird between us and then I'll never bring it up again. If I do you have my permission to post that dancing picture of me on my website. Hell ill even put it up there myself."

"What about last night Castle?"

"I just want you to know coming to my house wasn't a sign of weakness. You just needed not to be alone last night. I get that. I don't know about you but holding you last night made me feel better. It was a relief knowing you were safe. I know you're a cop and can take care of yourself but I still worry. I just want you to know. If you need me, call me, I won't mind. No matter where you are, no matter how far, I'll get to you, if that's what you need. Just call me; I'll be there in a hurry. You don't have to worry about waking me up or anything ok.

Beckett stared at him. He wasn't making a big deal. He was telling her it was ok. He didn't expect anything out of her, didn't think it meant anything more than what it was. Two people seeking comfort. His words filtered back to her.

_If you need me, call me._

_No matter where you are, No matter how far_

_Just call _

_I'll be there in a hurry  
><em>

_You don't have to worry_

Beckett leaned over to Castle and pushed him.

"Those are the lyrics to Aint no mountain high enough, that's plagiarism" she told him.

Castle grinned at her. "Doesn't mean, I don't mean them."

Beckett rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Are we good" Castle asked her. He would hate for her to suddenly feel uncomfortable about what had happened the night before and pull away from him. Yes he wanted more, but he didn't lose what he already had.

"We're good Castle"

"Good, well I better be getting to bed"

Beckett followed him as he walked out of her room. She stood at the threshold with the intention of closing the door once he left. What she hadn't banked on was Castle stopping and turning around.

"I hope you have a good night's sleep."

Beckett nodded.

"You too."

She then watched in what felt like slow motion as his head leaned towards her. She remembered the first time he kissed her during their first case. It had been a ruse to distract her from what he had been doing moments before she got there. She remembered being almost weirded out by him kissing her cheek but there was none of that weirdness now. His lips hit her flesh and she swore she was hit by lightening. His lips missed her check and hit further south. The corners of his lips barely bushed hers but he may as well have given her a full frontal kiss because her entire lips were tingling. It was a brief kiss that ended way too soon.

"Until tomorrow Beckett"

Huh. Yeah. What. Beckett stood there dumbly as he walked to his room and shut the door.

Neither of them saw the red head watching them.

Authors Note: hey all well I hope you like that little interlude between Castle and Beckett.

My writing pattern was a little altered this week. My usual plan is get up Monday morning write for 2 hours. Stop. Make lunch and dinner for work and my lazy hubby. Eat lunch while reading others fan fic. Print off what I have written, take it to work where ill edit and add to it on smoko and lunch breaks. Go home and at midnight write some more, depending on how many fan fics have been updated, ill read some more too. Then start the process all over again. That didn't happen as we had a death in the family. It was my uncle, we weren't super close, there was a 50 year age gap, he spoke broken English and could never remember who I was(not because he was losing his memory mind you) but it still effected me. My brain was kinda blah. I mainly read other fan fics to read to get me through. My brain is still a bit blah so I'd love some recommendations of some good stories(free promotion of your story if ya want haa haa)

The funeral was yesterday and I came home after and started writing. I wrote 2/3 of this and then got up and wrote the rest today. What made me get back to it was I know how uplifting reading a new chapter from a story can be. I've had some real terrible days in the past, and what has really lifted my spirits was coming home logging on to my email and seeing new chapters.

So hopefully this will bring joy to you.

Please review. It doesn't have to be long, a 'cool' or 'it was great' is enough(but long reviews are much appreciated).

Reviews lift me up and encourage me to write

Go on you know you want to.

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	7. Chapter 7

Aint no mountain high enough.

By

Natalie Elizabeth

"Hey Beckett. Check this out."

Beckett looked up at Castle.

"Oh my god that's disgusting," she turned her head away from him. She didn't want to look at that.

"Oh come on, you know you want to look."

Beckett kept her head turned away. No she didn't want to look.

"Oh come on, aren't you just a little bit intrigued?"

Beckett kept her head turned but glanced over at him.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed again. "Get that thing away from me."

Castle moved closer and wiggled it in her face. Beckett screamed and rolled over trying to get away from 'the thing'.

"Get that thing out of my face."

"Oh come on you know you want to touch it."

Beckett looked at him, was he insane.

"Touch it, touch it. It's slimy and smelly."

"And its cool looking"

Beckett peered at it closely still keeping her distance.

"What exactly is it?"

Castle shrugged holding it up for a closer inspection.

"I'm not sure, some kinda sea creature. Cool huh."

Beckett shook her. Castle thirst for life still surprised her. Her had gone out and travelled the world. Had seen some great things, at least she thought he had unless the photos in his house were photo shopped. Yet after seeing all that, a dead sea creature still fascinated him.

Beckett had slept in that morning, a thing she rarely did. She enjoyed brunch with the Castle family before heading out to the beach to read. Martha and Alexis had invited her to go shopping with them but she wanted to relax for once in her life. Castle lugged out one of the beach chairs that had no legs and practically sat on the ground, but at least it kept her butt out of the sand. While she read, Castle walked up and down the beach. She told him he didn't need to baby sit her but he insisted he liked walking on the beach, it helped him formulate plots for his latest novel. Beckett didn't believe him at first, that was until she caught him looking like he was having an argument with himself. She looked back at 'the thing' in Castles hands.

"No, not cool Castle, its gross, very gross. Castle, do the honourable thing and give it a burial at sea."

Castle looked towards the water behind him and then back at 'the thing' in his hand.

"Will you come help me?" he asked in a child like voice.

Beckett sighed. Castle had interrupted her reading and she was eager to get back to it.

"You're not 5 Castle; you can go on your own."

"Yeah but you have been reading for 3 hours" he whined.

He was right she had been sitting in the same spot, maybe it was time to get up. Bracing her hands either side of her, she pushed up from the ground. She owed Castle a little time together, especially considering how he had taken care of her.

"Alright Castle, let's get rid of it."

Together the pair walked towards the water's edge. The weather had been slightly better than the day before. The sun was playing hide and seek with the clouds and there was a slight breeze. Beckett's bare feet slapped on the moist sand and she watched as Castles did the same. She then glanced up at his calves that were exposed by his rolled up cargo pants. Mmm not bad, just enough hair to be deemed masculine, and surprisingly muscular. Her eyes continued to drift up wards, over his hips up his stomach and up to his t-shirt covered chest. The corner of her mouth twitched up into smile, he could really fill out t-shirt. He had been wearing jeans and shirt yesterday, much like he did at the precinct , except without his jacket, and his shirt looked more casual than business. Today however he had stepped into holiday mode and Beckett kind of liked it. When her toes hit the cold water, Beckett jumped back.

"Ok Castle, get rid of it".

Castle turned to look at Beckett. He had seen her eyes roaming his body. He knew once they got back to the city he was going to have to go and see a dentist. He had been gritting his teeth to stop a smile from breaking out on his face.

"Shouldn't one of us say something?" he had to get his mind off Beckett and on to the dead thing in his hand.

Beckett frowned at him. "Like what?"

Castle shrugged. "I don't know, but it seems a bit pathetic that only two people show up at his funeral and then don't say anything."

"He, Castle, we don't even know what that thing is."

Castle sighed. "Fine, but we should say something about it."

Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll say something "he said dramatically. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Let's hope in heaven, you meet a girl with a great bust"

Beckett scoffed. "And you make your living with words?"

Beckett quickly turned her body when she saw Castle bring his arm back to fling 'the thing' into the water.

"Eww, gross yuk"

Beckett turned back to see Castle wiping his face with his clean hand. What she had expected to happen did. Slime and or water had flung back into Castles face when he threw 'the thing' into the water. She watched as he took a few steps into the water and then bent down to wash his hands then ran his wet hands over his face. Beckett wasn't sure what was better, slimy stuff on his face or salt water in his mouth. Beckett bit her lip as a crazy thought came over her. She couldn't. She shouldn't. He had been so nice to her. He had waggled 'the thing' in her face, she argued back with herself. Beckett took at step and stood behind him, clasping her hands together, she gritted her teeth. Yes, no, Ahh what the hell. Beckett put her hands on Castles back and pushed. Beckett hadn't anticipated a freak wave crashing on the shore just as Castle fell in face first. She had expected his knees to get wet and maybe his face to get splashed, no big deal. What he got was the wave practically crashing over his whole body. Beckett stood back and gasped, Oh no. She clamped a hand over her mouth as she watched Castle stumble before finally rising out of the water. He turned and ran his hands over his face trying to rid it of the water. The horror Beckett felt vanished as she watched him bunch up his t-shirt and exposed his stomach. Ringing the water out of his shirt took no time at all much to the disappointment of Beckett.

"I can't believe you did that" he said finally speaking.

Beckett took her eyes off his stomach and looked at his face.

"I can't believe you didn't think I would seek revenge for putting that thing in my face."

Castle nodded walking slowly towards her.

"I can't believe you're not running."

Running! Beckett's eyes widened then took off in a sprint down the beach. She heard Castle let out a war cry from somewhere behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that he was a fair bit behind her, so she slowed down. She spun around so she was facing him and began running backwards keeping a bit of distance between them. She then began to circle back around laughing at Castles wide legged gait thanks to his wet pants. Spying a small sand dune Beckett ran to the top of it. She placed her hand on her hips and smirked at Castle as he ambled his way over to her.

"I am the king of this Castle" she told him. "Which makes you the dirty Ah"

"Hey watch that mouth young lady."

Beckett smiled innocently. "What? I was going to say rascal"

"Sure you were," Castle was walking closer and closer to her. She was watching him. Watching the way the wet clothes clung to his body. Watching the way the slight breeze ruffled his hair. Watching the smirk that crossed his face. Beckett looked up to see if the sun had come out from behind the clouds because she was burning up. He took a step closer and she knew it was her time to make her move. She jumped from the small mound she was standing on and squealed when the sand beneath her right leg gave way. Trying her hardest to get up before Castle could reach her, Beckett pushed up off the sand and righted herself only to feel Castles red hot hands grab her waist. Before she could make a move her body was air born and she landed with a hard thud on Castles shoulder. She tried to struggle but froze when she felt his hand clamp around her thigh.

"Castle" she warned.

He had thrown her over his shoulder fireman style. Her butt was residing next to his head and she had a very nice view of his. He started to move and Beckett became weary of what exactly he was going to do.

"Castle, put me down."

She tried to struggle against him thumping her arms on his back but stopped when his hand slid higher up her thigh. Beckett's eyes slid to Castles butt again.

"Castle put me down or I'm going to give you the wedgie of a lifetime."

Castle laughed but continued walking.

"If you wanna get into my pants detective all you had to do was ask."

Beckett groaned. "I'm serious Castle."

"Hey go for it."

Beckett placed her hands on his waist band.

"But are you sure I'm wearing underwear."

Beckett hands released his waistband. Even if she pulled back his pants to look there was a chance she would see his bare butt. Not a horrible thought but she knew he would never let her live it down. When Beckett saw water she panicked.

"Castle no, please."

"Oh how I have dreamed about you begging me."

"Castle, come on, I am sorry ok" she watched as the water got deeper and deeper. She struggled against him.

"The more you struggle the quicker you will end up in the water."

"Castle, you wouldn't dare."

Castle stopped walking and stood there in the water. "Funny that's what I thought when I turned my back on you."

"Castle please. The water must be freezing; I don't want to end up in it."

"What are you willing to do?"

"What?"

"I am a forgiving man. I'll give you something you never gave me, an out."

Oh no he wanted somethijng from her. He wouldn't throw her in the water if she did something for him, or let him do something to her. A million scenarios ran through her head.

"What do you want Castle?"

"A kiss."

A kiss, like she didn't see that coming.

"Fine" she said before placing a kiss on his back. "Done, you got your kiss; now take me back to shore."

"Not so quick detective. I want a proper kiss, on the mouth, 20 seconds."

Becket took a few deep breath in though her nose. Kissing Castle wasn't the worst thing she could do, in fact the idea intrigued her. Feeling her body suddenly moving backwards Beckett screamed and tried to grab hold of him.

"Fine Castle a kiss but not 20 seconds, 10."

"15," he challenged. "With tongue"

Beckett gritted her teeth; he was really pushing it now.

"10. Your hands stay at your sides and don't touch me."

"Deal"

"Good, now put me down"

The second the words were out of her mouth she knew she made a mistake. She felt her body fly backwards and didn't have time to grab onto anything before she felt the cold water wash over her. She found her feet quickly and rose out of the water gasping.

"Castle" she screamed. "You know if you weren't happy with the deal, you could have negotiated."

He shook his head at her. "I was never going to force you to kiss me; I just wanted to see how desperate you were."

What! What! For years he had throw sexual innuendo at her and when he finally had a chance to do something about it he didn't. Castle stood there smiling at her. The water was freezing but she didn't seem to notice it. She swore Castle was Superman and was using his heat ray to warm her up. She watched as his gaze kept darting away from her eyes, Even though she felt warm it was obvious her body didn't think so and was showing signs she was cold. Much to Castles pleasure. She had to do something to knock that grin off his face. Mmmm knock. Beckett tackled him and they both went down under the water, they tussled a bit before she let go. She didn't want to hurt him, just mess with him. The pair rose out of the water laughing and charged at each other again. Their fingers interlaced and they pushed at each other trying to get the other beneath the surface. Castle stopped pushing and suddenly pulled his arms towards himself causing Beckett to bang against his chest. Castle let go of her fingers and he rested his hands lightly on her hips. Beckett stared at him, her breathing laboured from their short struggle. Each breath had her chest rubbing up against him. She licked the salty water from her lips and watched as Castle watched the movement. His head tilted and she watched as it approached in slow motion. The brief kiss last night had been eye opening; she eagerly a waited what was to come.

"Dad, Kate"

Castle and Beckett sprung apart as quick as one could in water.

"Are you guy's crazy? That water must be freezing; what are you doing?"

"Beckett pushed me in" Castle told his daughter.

Becketts mouth gaped open, she couldn't believe it Castle was ratting her out to his daughter.

"You started it; you shoved that 'thing' in my face"

"I don't care who started it. We are meant to be going out to dinner in two hours. Get out of the water and go get ready."

"Ok. Take Becketts things in will you."

Castle watched as his daughter made her way back towards their place stopping to pick up Becketts chair and book. Castle turned to look at Beckett.

"You know I am going to get grounded right"

Beckett laughed and shook her head.

"Come on, Alexis is right this water is freezing."

Wading to the shore Beckett thought about what had just nearly happened. Castle nearly kissed her and she had nearly let him. Why? Why not she argued with herself. As she neared the shore she looked at the sand and groaned.

"That one thing I hate about the beach. Sand sticking to your wet body"

Castle laughed. "I know and it gets in places you never knew you had."

Beckett nodded. She remembered playing in the surf when she was younger. The gusset in her swimsuit got filled with sand and when she got it hung half way down her thighs.

"You want a ride?"

Beckett looked at Castle.

"What?"

"Jump on," he said pointing to his back.

"I don't think so" she told him continuing to walk out of the water.

Castle grabbed her arm. "I'm serious, no point us both tracking sand into the house. I give horsey rides to Alexis all the time"

"Yeah when she was 9."

"I wish. When she was 8 she wanted a pony and I said no but I told her whenever she wanted a horsy ride I'd give her one."

"You said no to Alexis"

"Well no, mother told me it wasn't a good idea; it seems neither was not putting an expiring date on the horsy rides. I swear Alexis is going to be lining up with her kids waiting for a ride when I am old and grey"

"Really, I didn't know Alexis was pregnant."

"HA ha very funny detective and don't even joke about Alexis. So you want a ride."

Beckett bit her lip and looked at him. "Will you go boasting to Esposito, Ryan, Lanie, anyone who will listen that I had my legs wrapped around your hips?"

Castle smiled. "No but that image will be burned into my brain."

"Shut up horsey" she stood behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders before jumping on

She felt his hands adjust on her legs a few time before he finally got a firm grip.

"Giddy up horsey."

Alexis dropped the chair inside the door and threw Becketts book on the couch.

"Where did you find them" Martha asked. Shopping made her thirsty so she had gone and gotten herself a glass of wine while Alexis looked for her son and Kate.

"They were in the water."

"What?"

Martha walked over to Alexis.

"I swear Dad has corrupted Kate. He said she pushed him in."

Hearing an excited yelp coming from outside Martha walked out on to the deck. Her eyes lit up and she turned back towards Alexis.

"Quick grab your phone."

"Why" she asked walking back out onto the deck. She looked in the direction her grandmother was facing. Fumbling, she nearly dropped her phone in her haste to get it out of her pocket. She quickly accessed the camera and held it up zooming in to take a picture. Her father was eating up the distance quite fast considering he had Detective Beckett on his back. Alexis stood at the edge of the deck and finally got a great shot of the couple who were oblivious to her. Alexis stood back and showed her Gram the winning shot. Martha looked at the photo and happiness like she hadn't felt in a long time unless she was drunk filled her. Her son was looking up at the woman on his back with a grin that stretched across his whole face. Kate was grinning at him with an arm in the air like she had been using a whip on her noble stead.

"Should I send it to Dad" Alexis asked as the she heard the couple hit the stairs.

Martha shook her head.

"Save it for a rainy day".

**Authors Note: Thanks to all of you who sent me condolences I really appreciated it. Also the story suggestions were great but I've a good girl and haven't read a lot as I wanted to get this chapter out to you earlier than I normally post as a way of saying thanks. You guys are the greatest. **


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Hey surprise surprise you guys get another chapter. Its amazing what you can accomplish when you have a few days off work and hubby isn't home demanding to be fed. Lol

Omg I cant believe how many of you actually reviewed my story. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to me.

So StanaFan and Patti Kay who asked how fast I could do another chapter and hoped it was soon. Well probably faster if I hadn't looked after my friends son Friday night but hey we went to see the Smurfs movie and its set in Castletown, so that makes it ok. And ok so I went out partying while hubby was away. So heres your chapter sorry it took so long.

Aint no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

"You're working late aren't you Detective."

Beckett looked up at the 'new guy' and simply smiled. The truth was she had been procrastinating for the past hour. Ryan and Esposito had left the precinct at 5:30 after finishing up the paperwork on their latest case. Castle had gone scurrying out at 5 claiming he was late for a very important date. She had told Esposito that she would be finishing soon. Beckett subconsciously touched her nose to see if it had gotten any bigger; the lies had been flying out her mouth all week. It was almost 7:30 and she had no choice, she had to go home. Beckett practically whimpered at the thought, she didn't want to go home. Home wasn't home, it was just a place she went at the end of the day, when all her excuses ran out.

The night she had returned from the Hamptons with Castle and his family she had belly flopped onto her bed expecting sleep to take over instantly. It hadn't. She had gotten up, changed into her pyjamas, got back into bed, nothing. She took a nice long shower, nothing. Warm milk, nothing. She just couldn't get to sleep. Finally she went to bed and laid there, and laid there and laid there. She tried sleeping on her right side, her left, her back, her front. Still nothing. She even tried sleeping at the end of the bed like she did when she was a kid when the weather got to hot, still nothing and that was her last resort. In the end she had piled pillows against her headboard and on her bedside table. She got a few hours sleep with her back snuggled up against the pillows her feet residing on the bedside table.

Every night since then had been the same. Sleeping across her bed didn't always work and she had spent more than one sleepless night on the couch watching the sun rise. She had come in to the precinct way to early and caught a few zzz. She had been caught sleeping on one of the sparring mats and had to pretend she was mediating, after that it was the ladies change rooms. She had gotten quite good at sleeping on the toilet, she found if she straddled the bowl and placed her arms on the wall behind and rested her forehead on her arms, she could sleep quite comfortably. Well as comfortably as someone could get while sleeping on the toilet.

In order for her to come back here to sleep she had to leave in the first place. Beckett tidied up her desk before finally grabbing her bag and walking out the precinct. She had even delayed her departure by taking the stairs. Once she hit the street Beckett paused. She supposed she should eat and that meant stopping on her way home. As she reached the car her phone buzzed in her pocket. Yes! Beckett shook her head as she retrieved her phone out of her pocket, she was spending too much time with Castle if she as getting excited over the possibility of a body. Seeing the picture of herself and Alexis appear on the phone made her frown.

"Hey Alexis, is everything ok?"

"Hey Kate, yeah everything is fine, I'm not interrupting your work am I?"

Beckett leaned against her car.

"Ahh no, I am just leaving now."

"Oh ok, listen I know its Friday night and you probably have plans."

Beckett listened as the teen left the sentence hanging. It was Friday night, most normal people had plans, and she did, except hers involved punching her pillows for a few hours.

"Umm no, I don't have any plans, why what's up?"

"Well my friend Paige was supposed to come over and hang out and watch movies but she bailed on me. Her Dads business partner came over and brought his son who apparently looks like one of the guys from Twilight. I'm just going to be hanging out watching a few movies on my own and I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining me?"

Beckett heard the hesitation in her voice. Alexis was always so confidant yet she was nervous about asking her to hang out and watch movies. Beckett had no intention of saying no; this was the distraction she needed.

"I'd love to come over"

"Really"

"Sure, have you eaten yet?"

"I had a sandwich when Dad got home, Paige and I were going to order pizza but I'm up for anything."

"I was thinking Chinese, but I could go pizza"

"No, no, Chinese sounds great"

"Alright well I can pick some up on the way to your place ok."

"Sounds great, thanks Kate."

The phone disconnected. No thank you Alexis. She was tired but she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep for hours; maybe hanging with Alexis would give her the peace she was looking for.

It seemed like everyone in New York decided to eat Chinese and it took almost an hour before she got to Casa de Castle. She knocked on the door and smiled when she heard the thumping of feet running towards the door. The door swung over to reveal a pyjama clad Alexis.

"Hi Kate, I figured we'd eat by the screen."

Beckett entered and was hit with an unusual feeling, belonging. She hadn't spent a lot of time here, yet it felt like she had. It felt warm and comfortable and not weird as she thought it would without Castle there. Beckett walked over to the coffee table that was already set with her favourite soda and napkins. Beckett dropped the food and then turned to Alexis who immediately opened her arms. Smiling Beckett walked into her arms and gave Alexis her 'mothers hug'. This is what she needed.

"Thanks, I needed that"

Alexis pulled back.

"Tough week, Dad didn't say anything."

Beckett shrugged.

"Tough for different reasons. So what are we watching" Beckett asked trying to distract Alexis.

"I was thinking The proposal, have you seen it."

"I have but I loved it and I've only seen it once."

"Cool, so do you mind with we have a little chit chat while the movie plays."

Beckett thought back to what Lanie said about Alexis needing a good female role model.

"Yeah I don't mind, in fact if you ever need to chat to someone about anything, you know you can give me a call. We could just chat or you could come to my place or go shopping or whatever. If you wouldn't think it was too weird that is."

"Thanks Kate I really appreciate it but I just meant talk about the movie and stuff like that. Dad and I always discuss things about the movie, trivia that sort of thing."

"Oh" Beckett said a little embarrassed.

"I will take you up that offer sometime in the near future. I'm always looking for a shopping partner too. If you want to go shopping on your next day off, I'd love to go with you."

Beckett smiled; she could do with a bit of girl time. First Twister, now a movie night, shopping sometime soon, this was out of character for her, yet it all felt so right.

Beckett busied herself getting the food unpacked while Alexis got the movie ready. Soon they were stuffing there face with Chinese food and laughing as the first scene rolled.

"I swear when I am having a bad day, they do that at work."

"Yeah right" Alexis told her. There was no way she thought people could say such bad things about Kate.

"When I hit a wall with a case I can get pretty bad."

Alexis laughed and then got distracted by the man on the screen.

"Is it just me or is Ryan Reynolds really hot."

Beckett laughed. "This is what you talk about with your Dad."

"No way, which is why I am glad you're here. So is he hot or what?"

Beckett nodded. "Yeah he's not bad. What gets me is how he never seems to age. Years ago he was in this TV series and I swear he doesn't look much different."

"Still perv worthy back then?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah he was, but I remember perving on this other guy in the show. It wasn't the other main guy on the show it was the main girls boyfriend. He was yummy."

Beckett and Alexis continued to watch the movie making comments in between shovelling food in their mouths. Even though she wasn't tired Beckett felt if she simply closed her eyes right now she would fall asleep straight away. She felt calm and at peace and happy. She had watched the movie at the cinema with Lanie and laughed but the happiness she felt was more than the movie. Here she was sitting in Castles place, yet again, doing something so basic as watching movies. Yet it helped, it made her feel so much better.

"Come on Kate get up."

Beckett looked at Alexis confused.

"Lets dance"

What.

Beckett looked towards the screen and saw Sandra Bullock and Betty White dancing around in the forest. Alexis clasped her hands and pulled her up. Beckett laughed and willingly stood up and then watched as Alexis began to mimic the movements.

"Come on Kate"

Beckett shrugged, why not. She then began to follow Alexis around the room reaching her hands up and chanting 'to the widow to the walls'. The scene ended all too quickly and Beckett made her way to sit back down when Alexis stopped her.

"Stay standing"

Alexis paused the movie and then went to fiddle with her I pod. Music flooded the room and Beckett frowned wondering exactly what Alexis was doing. She then recognised the song as the one Sandra Bullock had started singing. Beckett started moving her butt around in an exaggerated movement like Sandra had done ,before she started circling the coffee table again, Alexis following. Her dance moves were unusual but it seemed the more unusual the more the pair laughed. When the song ended Beckett collapsed on the couch laughing. Alexis soon joined her after turning the iPod off and the movie back on. She rested her head against Becketts shoulder.

"Is this ok"

"Yeah" Beckett said tilting her head slightly and resting it on Alexis. It was more than ok. Conversation was minimal after that as they watched the two hopelessly in love characters finally realise they were in love.

"You know the ending is a bit to unrealistic don't you think."

Alexis frowned at her as she got up to change movies. It was a romantic movie of course it wasn't realistic, but she wanted to know why Beckett thought it wasn't. She said she loved the movie after all.

"Why's that?"

Beckett looked at the teen, Ahh when things were so much simpler.

"Well there is the age difference."

"What has that got to do with it, they are both over the age of 21. Look at my Dad he acts like he is 10 sometimes."

Beckett sighed. Well ok so she had been in a relationship where she was quite a bit younger and it hadn't worked out. Had age been the factor, maybe, maybe not.

"Well they work together"

Alexis stopped what she was doing and looked at Kate. Was she talking about the characters from the movie or two other hopelessly in love fools?

"Both people are professionals, there is no reason why they can't work together and have a relationship. As long as they are mature enough to keep their personal problems at home, there shouldn't be a problem. I mean seeing your partner every day could get stressful but I think if they remember to have some me time on there own, then there shouldn't be a problem."

"But they are from two different worlds" Beckett challenged.

Alexis eyebrow rose. She had caught the detective out.

"Worlds?"

"Countries, I meant countries, they grew up differently, different customs and ways of doing things."

"That's true, but obviously there was something that brought these two together. Something that attracted them, something worth fighting for. It won't be an easy road ahead for them, but life isn't easy and would you want it to be. You can sit around and wait for your life to be handed to you on a silver platter or you can go out there and find it for yourself."

Beckett didn't answer the girl who was wiser than any teen should be. She had seen how her "easy" relationship with Josh had blown up in her face. However fighting for a relationship took time and effort and not something Beckett could handle at the moment.

Alexis sat back down after organising a new movie neither of them had seen. The pair sat in silence the only noise a laugh now and then. By the time the movie ended Alexis was yawing and Beckett was feeling fear.

"I'm sorry for yawing, I had an early morning."

Beckett shook her head, she knew what feeling tired was like, and she was exhausted.

"That's fine. Look I guess I should probably go anyway, I wouldn't want your Dad to come home and have his date find me here, it might be a little awkward.

"Date? Dad's not on a date?"

Becketts eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "He ran out at 5 saying he was late for a very important date."

Alexis laughed. "We watched Alice in wonderland the night before, the cartoon not the creepy new version. He was running late but not for a date, date, he had this event with the publishing company."

"Oh, well do you think he will be home soon, I was just thinking about a cold case and I want to run things by him before I forget about it." If she could just spend a few more hours here she could then go home have a shower, try sleep then head off to the precinct and get some sleep there.

"He shouldn't be too much longer; I'll make us some coffee."

Crap Alexis was going to wait up with her. She knew she would leave as soon as Castle got home but it was obvious she was tired.

"If you want to go to bed I don't mind, that is if you don't mind me staying here?"

"Of course I don't mind, you're always welcome here any time."

Alexis gave her another hug before heading off to bed. Beckett stretched out on the couch that was giving her so many warm happy safe memories. First cuddling on the couch with Castle and then laughing and watching movies with Alexis. Beckett sat there in awe of the powers of the magic couch.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note: A very special thanks to LittleLizzieZentara, simply because her reviews are sometimes longer than my chapters. No seriously I do a little happy Castle dance whenever I see a review from you, you're the greatest.

AND OMG OMG OMG I got to see the first two eps of season 4, yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, . Ok so if you didn't know I am an Aussie and honestly we probably won't get the new season till Feb. so that sucks, but I was able to find you tube clips of the eps uploaded a few days later, so I was able to snuggle in bed and watch, yeahhhh. But they have since been taken off so I don't know if ill be able to see the next one

Ok so here are just a few things about the ep that I wanna mention because I have no one to really talk to about this awesome show. So just skip this if you're not interested in my babbling. How gruesome was the Beckett bleeding all over the gurney and the floor and the wheels running over it on the white crisp floor making it look like the Boston freedom trail, except the trail lead to the person they love awwww. Who else was like ouch when josh pushed castle. I was like man can you think about how many times they had to rehearse and shoot that footage, poor Nathan. I had to rewatch that scene a few time cause I thought Josh said, "You dick head" not "you did this". I didn't recognise josh at first I was like, is that a different actor, then I was like Ahh I know what it is, he is clean and shaven, not dirty, greasy looking. If this were English class we would talk about how josh's' appearance is representative of his character haa haa. How cute was castle fixing his hair just before he enters Becketts room even though there were two cops there, but Castle seriously you couldn't come with better looking flowers, with all your money . I so love Becketts messy hair and little rats tail style plait that all us girls do when we are sick in bed, but did you notice her eye makeup was perfect. Ok I so saw Beckett was lying, she hesitated but I guess Castle was too shocked to notice. I felt like crying when I saw Castle sitting there signing the books, he just looked so sad and depressed and couldn't give a stuff. I was like wouldn't it be so cool if Beckett turned up, and then omg she did. Did you notice he was signing the black bit of the books; the fans would be so pissed that they couldn't even see his signature. Hello castle there are a few empty pages in the font of every book and the only reason I can think of for them to be there is for you to sign them. I think the best bit of the ep however when castle walks out of the signing sees Beckett and then walk off, yeah you go castle. Don't chase her, man I so loved him for that, standing up to her for once. Not constantly chasing after her. Ok well so much more to talk about so feel free to drop me a line if ya wanna discuss castle.

On with the chapter.

An hour later Beckett heard the door open, she hadn't been sleeping rather revelling in the peace she felt. She turned on the couch and watched as Castles silhouette walked in through the door and then tripped on something. He didn't see her straight away, while watching the movies Alexis had turned off all the lights apart from a small light in the kitchen.

"Are you awake, pumpkin?" he asked walking towards the couch.

"Yes kitten."

"Beckett?" Castle hastened his journey towards the couch. Beckett leaned over and turned on the lamp.

"Hey" Beckett got up and took a few steps towards him. "Alexis invited me over to watch movies. She went to bed awhile ago but I didn't feel right leaving her on her own. I mean I know she's almost an adult but still."

"Thanks" he said a little confused.

"I should go," Beckett put her shoes on grabbed her jacket and began making her way towards the door. Stop me, stop me, stop me.

Castle stood where he was and watched her walk away.

"Are you going to the precinct?"

Beckett stopped. What. Where had that come from? That wasn't exactly how she wanted him to stop her. How about a coffee, or no stay awhile and lets chat. Where was he going with that statement anyway, why would he think she was going to the precinct. She didn't turn around to answer.

"Do we have a case?"

"No."

Beckett nodded and then continued to walk towards the door.

"So are you going?"

Beckett stopped, took a few deep breaths and turned to look at Castle.

"Why would I be going to the precinct Castle?"

Castle shrugged as he walked towards her.

"I don't know, but you have been going in early all week and lying to us all about what time you've been getting in."

Becketts eyes widened. "Have you been following me?"

"No. How could you think that? The new guy asked if we were working a big case because he said you had been coming in early and then disappearing. What's going on Beckett, why aren't you going home?"

"I go home Castle."

"Yeah but you don't stay there."

"I just... Drop it ok." Beckett turned and tried to leave again.

"I thought we were friends."

Beckett had made it to the door; all she had to do was open it. Just bring her hand up, clench the handle and open. Simple, easy! Instead she just leaned her head against the door.

"We are friends."

"Really" he asked. Beckett heard his footsteps coming closer. "Because friends don't lie to each other. Friends tell each other their problems. Friends come to each other when something is wrong. If what we have is friendship then, no thank you."

Beckett closed her eyes. She didn't want to lose Castle as a friend. Yes he was a pain in her ass but so were Ryan and Esposito. She needed him as much as she needed them, maybe more. No defintly more. Could she do this, could she reveal her weakness to him yet again?

"My place is cold"

Castle frowned. "What?"

"My place is cold."

"Is the heating broken, why you didn't say something? You could have moved in here until it got fixed. Or I could have bought you one of those portable heater thingies."

Beckett groaned and turned to look at him.

"The heating is fine Castle, yet it's still cold." Beckett took a deep breath trying to fight back tears. "It's cold! It's dark! It's empty! It's lonely." A sob escaped her. "It's just... I can't sleep there, I don't know why, I don't understand it." Beckett covered her hands with her face. She couldn't believe she was breaking down in front of Castle. She was making a complete and utter fool of herself. Feeling Castles hand on her shoulder, Beckett felt her body relax. Why did her body crave his touch? Beckett waited for Castles arms to circle around her but they never did. She looked up when his arm disappeared from her arm.

"Come on." he beckoned.

Beckett watched as he began to walk off. She didn't know what he was up to but whatever it was meant delaying her return to her apartment. Following Castle into his room Beckett cautiously watched as he closed the door. He then proceeded to walk to his drawers and began rifling through them. After taking out a few items he held them out to her. Beckett looked at the clothes.

"What?"

Castle walked towards her and pressed the clothes to her chest. He kept his hand there until she bought her own up to stop them from falling.

"You are going to go into that bathroom and change. You are then going to get into that bed and close your eyes and sleep."

Beckett opened her mouth to argue.

"And you're not going to argue with me. You're going to respect our friendship and listen to me. Just like I have respected our friend ship and not said anything even though I've known for the past three days, that you haven't been spending time at home."

Beckett started at Castle. He had known for 3 days! She couldn't believe he hadn't said anything. Since when did Castle keep his mouth shut and since when did he tell her what to do? Beckett sighed. Since she reneged on her friendship with him, by not going to him when she had a problem. Reluctantly Beckett walked into the bathroom and changed. It wouldn't hurt to stay just the one night, she would get the sleep she so much needed and it would mend fences between her and Castle. She trusted him not to say anything at the precinct. When Ryan and Esposito had asked him what he had done on his time off he had simply replied that he had spent time with his family. There had been no secret looks shared amongst the two detectives and Lanie assured her Esposito knew nothing about her being at the Hamptons. After cleaning her teeth with some of Castles toothpaste and her finger, Beckett walked back into the room. Castle stood waiting for her, changed into his pyjamas too. He just looked at her and pointed to the bed that was already turned down on one side. Beckett rolled her eyes at his faux authority but did as he wanted and climbed into bed. The silky sheets felt amazing against her exposed legs; she couldn't help but snuggle down into the bed.

"I'll see you in the morning."

Becketts eyes followed Castle as he exited the room, she watched as he slowly pulled the door closed and at the last second reached his hand up to turn off the light.

"Castle."

"Yeah."

Beckett saw his head poke in the through the door, he was waiting for her to speak. Biting her lip Beckett shook slightly.

"Stay."

Beckett waited for it. The laugh. The scoff. The sexual innuendo. It never came. Castle simply walked back in and shut the door plunging the room into darkness.

"Can you flick the lamp on? I can't remember where I put the blankets last time."

"Don't bother with the blankets Castle."

Last time they had slept together he had been wrapped up like a hotdog, yet she knew that wasn't the reason he hadn't touched her. He respected her. Sure he joked about sex with her but he had numerous chances in the Hamptons to try something but he hadn't. Ok so when had kissed her goodnight he completely missed her check and sure the little incident in the water was a little borderline, but it was nothing compared to what he could have done. If he had intended to make a move on her he wouldn't have given her his baggiest clothes, he wouldn't have given her clothes at all.

"Ahh Beckett, can you be a little clearer with what you suggesting. Remember Alexis wants siblings and I don't want to assume you mean one thing and have you actually mean another."

Beckett smiled. No way was he going to try anything.

"Get in, shut up."

"Right"

Beckett felt the covers being pulled back and the bed dip beside her. Castle moved around on the bed trying to get comfortable. Beckett was lying on her side and extended a leg backwards slightly trying to gauge how far away he was. She kept moving her leg backwards but still hadn't touched him, frowning she brought her leg back. Ok so it was a big bed and he was obviously staying way over on his side, the point was, he was there. Beckett closed her eyes and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Many hours later Castle woke and did his daily morning stretch. He turned his head to look at the space next to him. Empty! Not surprising. He sat up and looked around the room.

"Beckett."

Castle leaned forward to see if she was in the bathroom, nope the door was open. Castle dramatically lay back in bed and turned his head to look at the Beckett dent in the pillow next to him. A faint scent of cherries wafted into his nostrils. Rolling over Castle placed his head on the pillow next to his and took in a deep breath. Cherries! Beckett! Looking around his room to make sure no one had somehow snuck in when he wasn't looking; Castle rotated the pillow so it lay along his body. He then wrapped his arm and leg around it squeezing tightly and taking in another long deep breath. BECKETT! He lay there for five minutes theorizing that anymore than five would be considered pathetic, that and his stomach was growling. The sandwich Alexis had made him last night before he left had been the best thing he had eaten all night. Gina had a few more of these evenings planned and he was not looking forward to it. Making his way into the kitchen he spotted his daughter eating breakfast.

"Hey pumpkin."

"Hey Dad" she said looking up from her magazine. "Want a coffee?"

"Sure" he said straddling a stool. He looked down at the magazine his daughter had been looking at. He pulled it towards him

"Is that what you want for helping me out last night?"

Alexis brought his coffee over to him. "What?"

Castle pointed at the dress in the picture. "Is that what you want me to buy you for taking care of Beckett for me last night?"

Alexis grabbed the magazine and shut it. "Listen Dad about that, I don't want anything."

Castle frowned. "But that was our deal, you invite Beckett over I buy you a thank you gift."

Alexis sat next to her Dad and put her arm on his shoulder.

"Look Dad I know you suggested it when I called to tell you Paige wasn't coming over, but the truth is, I really had fun last night. I mean I did think of calling Beckett but I thought she wouldn't want to hang out with me while you're not here, but I was wrong. We had an amazing time. She brought Chinese, we perved on actors, we danced around the coffee table, it was great."

"Which actor was she perving on?"

"Dad" Alexis smacked him on the arm. "The point is, I don't want a gift for spending time with Kate and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell Kate it was your idea."

Castle looked at his daughter; it still surprised him how smart she was.

"Ok" Castle leaned forward and kissed her on her head.

Hearing his phone Castle hopped off his chair and ran to his room. Picking up his phone he smiled when he saw it was a text from Beckett. She normally didn't text when there was a body so this had to be something else. Closing his eyes Castle tapped his phone. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 1. 1. 1 just open your eyes already you wuss

_Thank you_

Castle stared at the words. Not only was she acknowledging he had done something for her, she was thanking him for it. He quickly typed back a reply.

_Anytime, Anywhere, Always_

Authors Note, ok so this was a little short but it was actually connected to the previous chapter originally but I decided to split it up. Ok peeps I need your help, I am after some bad pick up/ chat up lines. Lines men have used on you or guys out there ones you have used on woman. I already have one that this 50 yr old guy (who thought I was 21 even thought I am 28) used on me on my last cruise, for Castle to use on Esposito, yes you heard right Esposito but I need more, so send them my way, in a review or a pm , thanks


	10. Chapter 10

Aint no mountain high enough

by

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett walked out of the cubical and swung the bag in her right hand into the basin. She straightened her shirt before rummaging through the bag grabbing out her rudimentary makeup supplies. Pulling out her concealer, Beckett extended the stick and frowned at how worn down it had gotten over the last two weeks. Bringing the stick to her face Beckett looked into the mirror to see how much she was going to have to use under her eyes. Beckett frowned at what she saw and leaned closer to the mirror. She turned her head left and then right again; she even looked up to see if the light above the mirror was out, nope. Beckett dabbed the area under hers eyes to see if any concealer came off, she had been in a rush that morning and had only quickly applied her makeup. Looking at her clean finger tips, Beckett tried again this time wiping harder. Still clean, had she even applied it this morning, it wasn't part of her normal makeup routine. Beckett looked in the mirror again and annoyance came over her, there wasn't any darkness that needed concealing. In defiance Beckett swiped the concealer there anyway; she rubbed it in, and then hung her head down in shame.

She shouldn't be angry because there wasn't any dark circles under her eyes, she should be happy. It meant she was getting sleep; the problem was where she was getting the sleep. She had spent the night with Castle again. It made total on three nights in his bed, not that she was counting. After her breakdown the other night she had high tailed it out of Castles place as soon as she woke up. She didn't want Alexis or Martha finding her there, she couldn't even explain the why to herself, let alone others. However as soon as she got home the guilt swamped her. Castle hadn't judged or questioned her, he just knew what she needed and gave it to her, and she repaid him by ducking out without a word. The guilt had her stomach in knots to a point of nearly seeing her dinner again. So she grabbed her phone and debated what to do. Call? Text? She took the easy way out. Text! There were so many things she had wanted to say. 'Sorry I freaked out' 'Sorry I stole your bed' 'Sorry I ran out', yet she knew any of these responses would have Castle calling her. 'You have nothing to be sorry for' she knew that's what he would say and maybe she didn't, or maybe she did. The point was she hadn't been ready to talk to Castle just yet. So she thought sending a simple 'thank you' would ease her guilt. She hadn't expected his response. Anytime, Anywhere, Always. The man had a way with words, which was a good thing considering his profession. The words didn't ease the feeling in her stomach. Yes he had uttered similar words in the Hamptons, but the fact that he reaffirmed them, that he honoured those words, left her confused, and happy and then confused again.

When he came into the precinct that day he acted as if nothing had happened, well techinaically nothing happened. Ok so nothing worthy of telling Lanie anyway. He had then dropped the bomb; another photo shoot was to take place at the precinct in two days. Some magazine or something but he wanted everyone to look their best, not 'fully work look' he told them. Beckett went home that night and spent it tossing and turning. She had come into work yesterday looking like hell, she felt that way too. So she had gone home when Ryan and Esposito left. She organised the clothes she would change into for the photo shoot, red button up blouse, dark blue skinny jeans and black boots that she would break her ankle in if she tried to run in them. She reached absently into her wardrobe and threw grey slacks and a black blouse onto her bed in preparation for the next day. She knew she wouldn't be using the bed that night. After showering and drying her hair, Beckett changed into jeans and a shirt and made her way to Castles. She justified her actions by telling herself she had to look good for the photo shoot. That was the only reason why she hadn't spent another sleepless night in her bed. She had ducked out there early this morning and again Castle turned up at the precinct coffee in hand as usual, like nothing had happened, again. Unless of course you counted her getting some of the best sleep she ever had. Beckett sighed, it was defintly the last time. It was!

The photographers had turned up half an hour ago and had taken a few shots of her working before she even realised they were there. Different was Castles explanation for the way the photographers were taking photos. Although they had expensive looking cameras they were quite happy to take shots that didn't take half an hour to set up. She allowed them to take a few shots before she shooed them away to go and change and freshen up. Beckett reapplied some lip stick and an extra coat of mascara, before assessing her new outfit. She readjusted her collar before running her hands down her body and twisting slightly to get a full view.

"Dam girl you look good"

Beckett turned surprised to see Lanie; she hadn't heard her come in.

"Lanie what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for the photo shoot" she said before walking into a cubicle.

As Lanie shut the door Beckett turned back to the mirror and began to fix errant strands of hair.

"I didn't know Castle asked you to come. Didn't they want to take shots in the morgue?"

"He said he wanted some natural shots, I've already had a few taken while you were in here. He even let me and Javi get some with just the two of us."

Beckett frowned, why would they want shots of Javi and Lanie, she thought these were promo shots or something. Oh well she assumed they knew what they were doing.

"It's good that Javi was in grey and I was in cream, instead of black and yellow, otherwise we would have looked like a bumble bee."

Beckett agreed it looked horrible when couples clashed, however she hated those family portraits were the whole family were matching outfits, whith matching idiotic grins on their faces. Straightening her shirt again Beckett froze, she was wearing red, Castle was in maroon. Crap. She had no doubt that there would be shots of just the two of them. Beckett began unbutton her shirt.

"Hey what are you doing" Lanie asked coming out of the stall.

"Castle is in maroon. I can just put my black shirt I was wearing earlier back on."

"Castles not wearing marron, at least not anymore."

Becket stopped unbuttoning her shirt half way down.

"What?"

"Well he was in marron when I first got here but a courier came in like a minute later and brought Castle a new shirt. He's in blue now."

Earlier Castle had asked her if she was changing and what colour she was wearing. Had he seriously got a courier to bring him a new shirt so they wouldn't clash? Beckett shook her head and began re buttoning her shirt. Nah he probably just spilled coffee on the one he was wearing.

"That's enough buttons" Lanie told her.

Beckett looked down and saw that she still had three buttons left.

"Lanie I can't leave my shirt open."

"Well not while chasing down criminals, but it will be fine for the shoot."

Beckett fiddled with the collar again and then leaned forward slightly, just a hint of cleavage, fine she'd leave it. If she had worn the same shirt on a day off she'd probably leave it open. Taking one last look at herself Beckett grabbed her bag of clothes and made her way back out into the fray. She turned a corner and stopped causing Lanie to walk into her.

"What the," Lanie asked.

Beckett looked at the site before her, that's exactly what she wanted to know. Castle, Ryan and Esposito were posing in front of the camera. It was the way they were posing that had Beckett stopping. The three men were standing side on, close together, with their hands on their hips and lips pouting. Yeah because that was natural. When the photographer put down his camera Beckett clapped.

"Very sexy boys."

Esposito turned to Castle.

"I told you I didn't want to take that shot, Lanie is going to lose all respect for me," he said pouting.

"Already have, baby," Lanie winked at him causing Esposito to wiggle his eyebrows at her.

Beckett took her bag of clothes and dropped them on her chair before turning to look at Castle who had followed her.

"Alright Castle, lets get this over with, where do you want me."

"On a beach in Hawaii" he said without batting an eyelid. "But for now why don't you and Lanie get some shots with Pierre."

Beckett watched as the young photographer ran over to Castle.

"You look amazing by the way"

Beckett looked at Castle surprised, ok so she thought she looked nice but it wasn't much different to what she normally wore to work. Did that mean he always thought she looked amazing? The idea of it brought a smile to her lips. She then noticed 'the gang' looking at them.

"Ahh thanks Castle." Beckett turned to the photographer. "So should we get this show on the road?"

"Zee break room Ladiez" he said gesturing towards where he wanted them to go.

Beckett nodded and followed the French photographer leaving Castle, Esposito and Ryan with the other photographer who was getting a little too close to Ryan. The break room had been cleaned of all the normal junk left laying around Beckett looked at the photographer waiting for instructions.

"So you two are friends right, are you the hugging type, Mr Castle wanted natural photos."

Lanie and Beckett looked at each other with raised eyebrows then back at the photographer.

"Didn't you just have an accent?"

"Yeah what was with all the zz crap" Lanie asked placing her hands on her hips.

The photographer shrugged. "The ladies love the accent, but you are both taken so ill drop the act. However there is a cop out there who I am trying to impress so ill keep it up around her."

Beckett frowned. "You're going to lie to a cop."

"That's what you picked up from that girl. He just said we were both taken, don't you want to know why he thought that?"

"No?"

"Well I do" Lanie folded her arms. "Why did you think Kate was taken?"

The photographer laughed. "You're kidding right. The way Mr. Castle looked at you and then the warning glare he gave me. Sorry ladies but I am not going to waste my good material on a lost cause, and I value my life"

Lanie smiled smugly at her. Beckett glared at her friend before turning back to Pierre who she suspected was actually called Peter.

"Is smacking my best friend a natural shot?"

She watched as the photographer raised his camera so she approached Laine and made as if to strangle her. Lanie went along and put a horrified look on her face and held her hands up as if to stop her.

"Great shot ladies. Now smile, hug, whatever I want a happy shot."

Beckett glared at Lanie for a second longer before wrapping her arm around her. The pair smiled for the camera, before pulling a few funny faces.

"Ok ladies I want you to lounge around. Just chill out and relax I don't want you looking at the camera. Just sit and chat to each other so I can get some back ground style shots."

Beckett sat on the arm of the couch resting one leg on it while Lanie sat on the other end.

"So girl, I hear you have a day off coming up. I ruined my favourite boots at that crime scene last week, you remember with all that slime. Wanna go shopping."

"I'd like to but I may already have plans"

"With Castle?" Lanie taunted.

Beckett had enough of her friends ribbing for the day, it was time to mess with her.

"Actually yes"

Beckett laughed as Lanies eyes practically bugged out of her head.

"Seriously girl. Are you and Castle finally going to get your freak on?"

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Little Castle, not Big Castle. I thought about what you said about her needing a role model, so I told if she ever wanted to talk or just hang to give me a call. She wanted to go shopping on my next day off, I need to text her. You can come if you want, I can ask?" Beckett pulled out her cell then looked at the photographer to see if it was ok. He nodded so she sent off a quick text to the teen.

"Oh I wouldn't want to butt in on mother daughter bonding time."

Beckett looked up from her Cell before throwing it at her friend. Lanie laughed before retrieving the phone from where it landed and threw it back.

"She just wanted to hang out. Look ill ask her if it's ok if you can come."

As if Alexis knew she was being talked about her text came through agreeing to the shopping excursion. Beckett sent off another quick text asking if she wanted it to be just the two of them or if it was ok if Lanie came too.

"I don't know Kate; I've never really spent much time with teenagers. I mean she seems nice but..."

"Oh don't worry Lanie you will love Alexis. At first you think, no way is she Castles daughter but once you get to know her you realise she is so much like him. She has the same verve for life she just knows how to control it in public, where as I think the only time Castle controls it, is when he writes." Memories of her time at the Hamptons invaded her brain and she couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips.

"Looks like you're in love with the whole Castle family"

Becketts eyes widened. "Lanie"

"Beckett interrogation room now," Beckett looked up as Captain Montgomerys back exited the room.

Beckett and Lanie looked at each other before jumping off the couch and running to integration room. The journey took Beckett longer as she tried to run in her to high heels. She burst into the integration room and her mouth dropped open. Esposito and Ryan had Castle lying face down on the table his hands cuffed and silver duct tape over his mouth. Both the detectives looked like they were actually using effort to keep the writer down. She watched as the photographer moved around taking a few shots of the three struggling men. Beckett held her hand up.

"Can I get in on this?"

She heard Castles muffled protests and slowly walked over to him.

"You not enjoying this Castle?"

Beckett got in between Esposito and Ryan and posed for a few shot.

"How did you take him down" it was obvious Castle was an unwilling participant.

"The hand cuffs were easy; he practically put them on himself. You know how much Castle loves them. While I held him down Ryan taped his mouth."

Feeling Castle struggle underneath her guilt flooded through her.

"You got enough shots" she asked the photographer.

He shrugged. "I could do with a few shots of the two of you in here but the guys and Lanie can go off with Pierre and the Captain. Get a few shots out there."

"How does that sound Castle" Beckett patted him on the back and she felt him relax beneath her hand.

When the gang left Beckett pulled Castle up and spun him around so he was sitting on the edge of the table. Beckett stepped between his parted legs.

"I don't know how you get yourself into these messes Castle."

He made some kind of noise from behind the tape but his eyes were pleading with her.

"Ok, Ok I'll take off the tape, fast or slow?"

Castle glared at her.

"Nod once for slow, twice for fast."

Castle nodded twice.

"Is that yes for fast, or yes for slow but you really, really want me to do it, so you're answering twice."

Castle groaned again. Beckett laughed.

"Alright, alright."

Beckett took a step closer and reached her hand up to the tape.

"Ok, on the count of three ok"

Castle nodded.

"Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne" she said very slowly.

"Tw..." Rippppppppppppppppp.

"Ah ah ah" Castle wiped his hand over his mouth. "What happened to three?"

Beckett shrugged. "If you knew it was coming you would have tense up. What's the matter Castle I thought you liked bondage?"

"I do" he told her angry that his hands were bound behind his back. With Beckett standing between his legs he wanted to place his hands on her hips pull her forward and kiss her senseless. "But in my dreams you're wearing leather."

Beckett grabbed the tape and reapplied it. Hearing laughter Beckett and Castle turned to the noise. The photographer was smiling at them.

"I got some great shots, but I need to get more of you and Mr Castle so it's probably better if you un cuff him."

Beckett did as she was told and then proceeded to pose for a few shots. The pair then joined the others while the two photographers circled them taking thousands of shots. She couldn't wait to see the results; they got some great group shots but also some interesting ones of just her with Castle

When Becketts phone rang she felt almost saddened, she had actually been having a good time. The photographer had actually been pretty funny setting them up in some silly poses along with some serious ones. She would have to see if Castle would let her have a few shots, she had lost all her photos when her apartment blew up. The photographer had also taken a few shots of just her on her own and she would love to give her Dad a recent picture. Changing her shoes Beckett stood up and grabbed her gear.

"We got a body guys, let's go."

Authors Note: Thanks all for your lovely reviews. Last chance for anyone who has had a bad experience with a guy trying to chat them up using a bad pick up line, and wants it used in my next chapter. Let me know


	11. Chapter 11

Aint no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett stormed over to her desk and slammed the file down on it. She was having a bad day and it was only getting worse. She was tired, irritable and coffee depraved. Sleep had evaded her yet again and she swore she had only just closed her eyes when her cell rang. Castle had things to do and would be in later so she missed out on her delicious morning breakfast of coffee and bear claw. On top of that a twenty one year old woman had been murdered and they had her boyfriend in custody. Beckett now realised he probably wasn't there killer even though he hadn't been all that broken up over the death of his girl friend. The jerk even had the nerve to chat her up as she was leaving interrogation.

"Wow Beckett, that guy sure was a sweet talker."

Beckett groaned.

"Shut it Esposito."

"So Beckett, you going to get his number."

"Whose number" Castle asked walking in, two takeaway coffee cups in his hand.

He handed one over to Beckett who looked worse for wear. For the past two nights he had stayed up late waiting for her to call, but she hadn't. He didn't pry, didn't push even though fibre of his being was telling him to. She was a smart woman, stubborn but smart, she would make the right decision when she was ready.

"We got the victims boyfriend in interrogation and he used one of the worst pick up lines on Beckett I've ever heard."

Castle took his seat next to Beckett. "Care to share?"

Beckett shook her head and skulled her scorching hot coffee. Castle looked over at the two other detectives.

"You want to spill?

"He asked her if it hurt?" Esposito answered with a smirk.

Castles head whipped around to Beckett. Hurt, had she been hurt while trying to take down the suspect while he had been dealing with more crap from Gina.

"Hurt?"

"Yes Castle" Esposito said tapping him on the shoulder trying to reassure the freaked out writer. "When Beckett fell from heaven into his arms"

It took Castle a few seconds to register what Esposito had said. He then looked at Beckett who was rolling her eyes. Castle shook his head and laughed.

"That's almost as bad as, 'Are you tired, because you have been racing through my mind'." Castle rattled off one of the pickup lines he had heard recently.

Beckett sighed. "I once told a guy I was married because he wouldn't back off, his response was, I don't mind. He then asked if I was happily married, when I said yes he asked if I was very married though. The creep"

Castle clicked his fingers. "Oh I heard the most terrible one years ago." He turned to look at Esposito and smiled. "Hey Esposito, you look ethnic, do you have any American in you."

Esposito frowned. "Ahhh well"

"Would you like to" Castle then winked at him.

"I can't believe you just tried to pick me up."

"It was a joke."

Esposito shook his head but then smiled.

"I had this roommate once, always wanted to go out but I hated it because he would always use these cheesy pick up lines on the girls. If I wrote the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"Oh I got another one," he rubbed his hands together then looked at Beckett who was focused on her screen. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again."

Beckett looked at Castle realising he was addressing her. "Keep walking Castle" she then picked up her coffee and took another long gulp. Before turning back to the screen.

"You use a pick up line on Jenny?" Esposito asked Ryan.

Ryan shook his head. "Nah, she asked me out actually, but she was nervous throughout our whole date. She kept reapplying her lip gloss like a hundred times. So when I went to kiss her I was all like, 'wonder what your lips gloss tastes like'

"Dude you didn't" Esposito shook his head; his partner was such a sap.

Ryan put his head down and smiled as if remembering the date as if it were yesterday.

"She was like, 'I think I have licked it all off' so then I was all like 'I wonder what your lips taste like'

"Seriously" Esposito put his hand up wanting to stop Ryan telling anymore.

"What about you Castle, you ever use a line on a woman" Ryan knew Castle was a ladies man and wanted to know what worked for the writer.

Castle shook his head. "Nah"

"Castle just shows the ladies how many zeros in his bank account" Beckett said finally interjected into the conversation.

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other shocked.

"Whoa"

"Go Beckett"

Castle looked at Beckett. She hadn't even drawn her eyes away from her computer screen to deliver the blow and seemed unaffected by him staring at her. Sure he could handle a little ribbing but usually it came from the guys especially when it came to his sex life. He frowned as he watched her take another long gulp of coffee before placing it back on the desk the resounding empty sound disturbing him. She had just sculled the scorching coffee in less than 2 minutes. Something was up. He looked and saw Ryan and Esposito standing there obviously waiting for him to respond.

"I only show 60 % of my dates my bank account." He tried to make light of the situation.

Beckett didn't take her eyes off the screen. "That's because only 60% of your dates can read." Beckett then got up and strode to the break room.

"Score two for the Beckett" Ryan smiled after the detective.

"Dude, what did you do, to piss her off".

Castle looked between Esposito and the break room.

"I don't know?"

Castle got out of his char and walked over to the break room watching as Beckett made herself a coffee. She had just finished the large one he had brought her and now she was having another one.

"Are we ok" he asked her.

Beckett looked up at him and shrugged. "Sure why?"

"Oh I don't know. I usually get that kind of treatment from Ryan and Esposito."

Beckett picked up her coffee and began to walk away.

"If you can't stand the heat Castle, get out of the kitchen."

Castle watched Becketts retreating back.

"I didn't realise we were cooking?"

Beckett rubbed the heel of her hands over her eyes, she was tired and she was getting nowhere fast with this case. The boyfriend alibied out and all there leads were so far heading them to a dead end. It was 6.30 and the guys were taking a dinner break in the break room. Of course they had invited her to join them but she wasn't in the mood. Castle had brought her over a couple of slices and she forced herself to eat one slice. Beckett groaned as she heard her phone ring.

"Beckett."

"Hi, is this Kate."

Beckett frowned. "Umm yeah, who is this?"

"Its Gina hi how are you."

"Gina," she asked, who the heck was Gina?

"Castles wife, publisher, parole officer."

Wife! Did she say wife!

"Look Rick has this real important event I need him to attend tonight. I was wondering if you could let him go early today."

Go early, what like she was a school marm or something.

"Look it really isn't fair, you have been monopolizing his time lately and he has been missing a lot of important events, that I want him to attend."

"Look Gina, I think this is something you really need to discuss with Castle."

Beckett heard the woman sigh.

"I've already tried he answered once this morning but since then he has been ignoring my calls. He informed me that you are in the middle of some really big case and he can't leave right now, you need his help. Look why don't I email you over a schedule of when I need Rick, that way if you have a big case you can, not let him get involved."

Beckett knew Gina was blonde, but was she really that dumb. Like they knew when a case was going to be big or not.

"So could you please let Rick go tonight, he's already late but better late than never right. Thanks I really appreciate it."

Before Beckett could reply the line went dead, good because she was about to murder someone. Beckett got up and stormed towards the break room where laughter could be heard. Yeah, because Ryan and Esposito needed help eating pizza.

"Hey Castle" she practically yelled. "I am not your damn secretary."

Castle turned around and looked at her.

"What?"

"I am not your damn secretary. I don't take messages for you. How dare you give Gina my number? Man up and talk to her yourself instead of ignoring her calls. Dont you have any balls or are they just ornamental. How dare you involve me in your crap. If you don't want to go to some event where people are kissing your ass then tell her that, don't bullshit about us needing your help to solve a case. We have been solving cases long before you came along and we will still be solving cases when you're gone."

Beckett turned and walked back the break room and headed straight for the ladies restroom. Castle stared after her his mouth hanging wide open.

"I..I...I" he then looked at Ryan and Esposito, did they know what was going on.

He stood up and went to chase after Beckett.

"Castle"

He turned to look back at Esposito.

"I hope you're leaving and not going after her"

"But I" he looked between the guys and the direction Beckett had gone in.

"Dude when she is on a mood its better to let her go"

Castle wanted to argue but his phone vibrating in his pocket stopped him. He pulled it out and saw a picture of a dragon on his screen. Gina. Damn. He looked back to where Beckett had disappeared and the screen in his hand, his shoulders dropping Castle headed out of the precinct.

Beckett closed her eyes briefly, she was tired, real tired. It was 1130 and she had gotten away with staying late because the guys had only left an hour ago. Yawning Beckett stood up; she was exhausted maybe her body would let her sleep tonight. Please she practically begged herself please let me sleep. Hearing her phone ring Beckett practically whimpered. No. For once she actually wanted to go home. Seeing that the caller was Lanie, Beckett snatched up her phone.

"Hey Lanie what's up?"

"That's what I wanna know girl. Javi just told me you were pretty mad with Castle today, said you yelled at him in the break room in front of him and Ryan. "

Beckett groaned. "Can you believe that idiot tried to get out of some party Gina organised by saying we needed his help."

"So that's reason enough to hand him his balls on a platter?"

"Lanie it's like he thinks the world can't revolve without him here."

"Ok come on Beckett, you know he just used that excuse with her to get out of going to the party."

"That's even worse using me to avoid his ex wife."

"If Castle were in trouble, would you help him out?"

Where was she going with this? Yes she would help Castle out, well not at this precise moment but under normal circumstances, yes.

"Your point."

"Friends help each other out of sticky situations. How many times have I called you in a panic because my mom has come to visit and I needed an excuse to leave? Esposito has used an excuse that Ryan needs help with a Jenny situation to get out of meeting my mother three times. We bail each other out, it's what we do. I mean come on you've met Castles ex wife, would you really want to spend an evening with her. You heard Castle bitching about her in the morgue the other day. "

Beckett sighed. Lanie was right but she wasn't going to tell her that. Friends helped friends out and she couldn't blame Castle for not wanting to spend time with Gina. Beckett rubbed the space between her eyebrows. Nausea filled Becketts stomach.

"Lanie I gotta go."

Beckett walked to the restroom and splashed cold water over her face. She took a few deep breaths and rubbed more water over her face. The guilt was eating her up; the shocked almost scared look on Castles face haunted her. Sleep would evade her tonight if she didn't ease her guilt; she was going to give herself an ulcer. She had to fix this and she had to fix this now.

Beckett pulled out her cell.

_Are you awake?_

She pressed send then walked back to her desk. She turned off her computer and began to tidy her desk when her cell went off.

_Yeah, u ok_

Beckett sighed. No! What was up with her.

_I've made an idiot of myself._

Picking up her things Beckett made her way out of the precinct.

_What did you do anything I can do to help?_

Beckett climbed into her car and started the engine getting the heater going. It was a particularly cold night, especially for this time of year. Once the heater was going Beckett grabbed her phone and sent a text back .

_Got the address to this event your father is at tonight?_

Beckett pulled up at the private residence that Alexis had given her directions to. It was only a small, but private event. She had intended on staying out side and waiting for Castle to exit but according to Alexis' ongoing reports he was cracking up. Beckett climbed out of the car and began striding towards the man standing guard in front of the door.

"Can I help you mam."

"I'm here to see Richard Castle."

"Do you have an invitation?"

Beckett pulled back her jacket to reveal her badge, an unofficial invitation but it got her into so many places. The man opened the door and allowed her to enter. Glancing around the residence Beckett made her way to where she heard classical music playing. She walked into a large room and saw the source of the music, an older gentleman sat at a gleaming piano his fingers dancing across the keys. About 30 to 40 people stood around quietly mingling ignoring the music too wrapped up in themselves it seemed. Looking around she saw Castle standing next to Gina, well standing wasn't quite correct; he was leaning against a large pillar. He would occasionally look up at the people Gina was talking to but then returned his eyes to the amber liquid he was swirling around in a short glass. A muscle in Becketts jaw twitched when she saw Gina wrap her arm around Castles elbow. Sure she often hung onto his elbow and it didn't mean anything but it was the fact that Gina started stroking his upper arm that had her blood boiling. She took a step forward but stopped when she saw Castle straighten and pick Ginas arm up and drop it with distaste he should have had when touching the dead sea creature in the Hamptons. A smiled tugged to her lips when she saw Castle send Gina a glare, she'd bet it wasn't the first one of the night. She felt guilty that she had put him in this situation especially when she saw him swirl his drink before downing it. It wasn't an 'I'm thirsty' kind of gulp; it was a 'I really need this' kind. Beckett had seen her father do it too often and vowed to stop anyone else from doing it if she could help it. Beckett took a deep breath, phase one of making up for being an ass was about to take place. Head up, chest out, Beckett strode towards her target.

"Richard Castle" she said mimicking there first 'official' meeting.

"Beckett."

The look on his face was almost comical. Beckett realised she had to look for a bikini when she went shopping with Alexis. It was sure going to be hot in hell and that's where she was going to be heading for the lies she was about to tell.

"We have a break in the case and we really need your assistance to help us figure this one out."

"But we are in the middle of something" Gina protested.

Beckett looked towards Gina then at the people she was trying to smooze.

"I am really sorry about this but a young girls killer is on the loose and we really have to stop him before he kills another."

Liar, liar, pants on fire; they had no evidence to suggest this was a serial killing. She watched as Castle frowned at her, obviously confused by her statement, but it didn't stop him from handing Gina his empty glass and walking towards the exit. Beckett smiled at Gina sweetly before giving her a little wave and followed Castle out. When the pair got outside Beckett pointed to where her vehicle was parked and silently walked over to it. She climbed in and watched as Castle did the same, buckling himself in then almost hunched as if he expected her to start the car and go speeding out of there. When the car didn't move he turned to look at her.

"So, what's the big break?"

Beckett hung her head down and looked anywhere but at him.

"There is no big break."

"What?"

"There is no big break, we are no further along than when you left, we have hit a wall."

Beckett stole a quick glance at him and noticed his brow furrow.

"I don't understand, why did you walk in there and drag me out."

Drag him out?

"Well I was going to wait until you were done but Alexis told me you were about to strangle Gina. I didn't really want to arrest you again; you enjoy being in handcuffs way too much."

Castle was confused.

"Why were you talking to Alexis, why were you waiting for me?"

"Texting not talking and I was waiting for you because" Beckett took a deep breath, she could do this, this was why she was here. "To apologize."

When Castle stayed silent Beckett looked over at him to make sure he was still alive.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you, especially in front of the guys. If I wanted to talk to you I should have taken you into a free interrogation room or something. The point is I really shouldn't have yelled at you at all, I'm just having a bad day and I know that's not an excuse but. I really am sorry. Next time just give me a bit of a heads up if you're using me for a cover ok. She caught m off guard and it rattled me."

She watched as Castle nodded. Was that an acceptance of her apology, was he agreeing with what she said. Getting no other response Beckett started the car, she was sure he didn't want to go back in there

"Ok would you like me to take you home?"

He nodded again. This was bad, Castle wasn't talking. Beckett drove away in silence.

"Look I realise you're probably going to be angry at me for awhile and that's fine but I want you to know if there is anything I can do to make it up to you just let me know. Gina was going to email me some dates of when she needs you if I can swing it maybe I could go with you next time, stop you from killing her."

Wow Beckett must really be feeling guilty if she was not only willing to attend an event with him, but also to face Gina, who by now was probably fuming with the detective. The fact was she shouldn't be apologizing, it wasn't completely her fault, Gina had provoked her. Well ok so it was his fault that Gina had provoked her.

"It's not necessary Beckett. I won't be attending any more of these little events."

"But isn't it part of your contract to do publicity."

"Yes a certain amount, but this is ridicoulos. I'm going to talk to my agent, she's been MIA lately. I think she is getting me back for not returning her calls. I'm suspecting Gina is creating these events as an excuse to spend time with me. I made it clear it was over between us but she acts all innocent and says she is just doing her job. She needs reminding that she is my ex wife and she can't keep ordering me around anymore."

Beckett winched.

"She did introduce herself as your wife when I asked who Gina was."

Castle shook his head.

"I am really sorry about that. I swear I didn't give her your number. The only people I have given it to are Mother and Alexis, oh and it's also down as my emergency contact in case I end up in hospital."

Beckett looked at him surprised.

"I'm down as your emergency contact."

Castle shrugged.

"Yeah, I hope that's ok. I probably should have asked you first. it's just my mother is all over the place in mind and in body. I wouldn't want the hospital calling Alexis and scaring her when all that's happed is that I have tripped over my feet and knocked myself unconscious."

Beckett laughed; it wouldn't surprise her if he was talking from previous experience.

"It's fine Castle. I owe you one anyway."

"No you don't."

Beckett pulled up close to Castles place.

"Yeah I do, according to Lanie I handed you your balls on a platter today and in front of Ryan and Esposito. That's not cool"

Castle laughed. "Yeah you did and I honestly don't want to relive that experience ever again. That was scary very scary, I almost feel sorry for the suspects. However you were my knight in shining armour tonight, you saved me from the evil dragon. I think that makes us even ok."

Beckett looked at the amazing man in front of her. She kept tearing him down and he kept building himself back up.

"Do you want to come in?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

"No I shouldn't it's late."

"Which is exactly why you should? We both know you're tired and you won't be getting any sleep at your place so come on."

Before she could respond Castle had jumped out of the car and had run around to her side opening the door. Beckett feigned resistance as Castle proceeded to pull her from the vehicle. He wrapped her arm around his elbow much like Gina had earlier, except Castle held her hand there rather than attempting to discard it. He only let go when he got to the door of his place and that was only so he could retrieve his keys. She watched as he stuck his head inside and looked left and right. He then looked back at her and placed a finger to his lips, he then motioned for her to enter. She watched as he quietly hummed the theme to mission impossible as he darted around the hallway leading to his room. Once they were inside with the door shut Castle put a hand to his chest and took a deep unneeded breath.

"Phew, that was close"

Beckett rolled her eyes; a smile twitching to her lips. She was too tired to laugh but appreciated the effort he took to silently enter the loft so his family wouldn't know she was there.

"Excuse me I had a few too many drinks tonight."

Beckett watched as he awkwardly ran to his en suite and shut the door. He opened it again and stuck his head out.

"Your things are in the bottom drawer over there."

Beckett didn't have a chance to respond because he shut the door again. Things what things? She made sure she always took everything with her. She crossed to the drawers and opened the one he indicated. Spying the shorts and t shirt she had worn the last two times Beckett was almost disappointed. Castle was known for grand gestures and surprises sometimes welcomed sometimes not. Grabbing the clothes Beckett went to kick the drawer shut when she noticed there were still a few items in the bottom. Hearing the door to the en suite open Beckett turned to face Castle.

"What this?" she asked pointing to the drawer.

"Just a few things I thought you could use."

"Like a towel and body wash."

Castle held his hands up to surrender. "It's not what you think; I just thought I'd get you a few things in case you ever needed to stay here again. Sometimes when I can't sleep I find a shower helps, now you're more than welcome to use my stuff but thought you might not want to go into work smelling like me. Might raise too many questions with Ryan and Esposito. If you never use it than it's no big deal but if you need to, you know it's there. There is a wash cloth and a toothbrush; I figured at the very least you would appreciate that."

Beckett turned back to the drawer; she hadn't noticed the toothbrush still in the packet or the smaller towel. All she had seen was a big, thick, fluffy towel and bottles of cherry scented body wash and lotion. At first she had thought the products were left over from his last woman to warm his bed, but there was no way it was a coincidence, the stuff was cherry scented after all.

"Thanks Castle."

Beckett leaned down and pulled out the tooth brush and the wash cloth, at least she could get a little clean. She was almost tempted to use the bigger towel and have a shower but she was simply too tired. Quickly ducking into the en suite and changing and freshening up Beckett exited to find a pyjama clad Castle waiting. The bed was turned down but he wasn't in it, instead he simply stood at the end of his be.

"Are you coming to bed or are you going to stay up for awhile."

It was a bit too early and normally he would stay up and write a bit but there was no way he was missing an opportunity to be in bed with Beckett. Even if they did sleep as far away from each other as possible. She would still be there in his bed. Warming his bed and his heart.

"Bed. I just didn't want to assume."

Beckett smiled, how could she ever be angry with this man. Together they climbed into bed like an old married couple and settled in for the night. Beckett shivered at the unusually cold night.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just a bit cold, but I am sure ill warm up soon."

"We could do what I suggested in the freezer."

Beckett rolled onto her back and slammed her hands on the bed.

"I am not stripping down naked to conserve body heat Castle."

He had the nerve to laugh.

"I meant hold each other."

Beckett bit her lip. It seemed like forever since she had felt his arms warp around her body. Since she felt the heat consume her body. Hell yes she wanted to experience that again, but could she. She said she was cold and he was offering to warm her up, what Beckett was worried about was burning the place down. Whenever he touched her recently it felt like she was on fire, maybe it was because she felt so cold inside. Maybe it was like when you hold ice for too long your hands start to burn.

"Please Beckett, I am worried that I'll have bad dreams about dragons called Gina."

Beckett smiled and rolled over facing him, he reached out his arm and pulled her forward assuming she agreed to his invitation. She placed her head on his chest and rested her hand over his heart. Castle used one arm to keep her close to him while the other came up to wrap around her hand on his body.

"If you have a nightmare, wake me" she told him comically. She was doing this for him that was the only reason why she allowed herself to be held. Well she wouldn't have to be worried about being cold in hell.

Castle laid there with Beckett in his arms, he felt her body weight shift as she was lulled into the land of nod. There would be no sleep for him especially while another part of his body was up. Castle was thankful Beckett hadn't seen it in the dim light that was emitted by the nightlight in the en suite.

Since the night of there almost deaths Beckett seemed to be in topsy turvy land. He thought spending time in the Hamptons would be good for Beckett and it seemed like it had been, but once they got back something had changed. She wasn't sleeping or eating much and she was getting more and more irritable. When she had come storming into the break room earlier that night he thought for sure she found out he had been spiking her coffee with an energy supplement. He was in so much trouble if she got sick on it but he was assured it was all natural and shouldn't conflict with any kind of medication. Still spiking the coffee of a cop wasn't one of his smartest ideas but what could he do. He knew she wouldn't see a doctor, gp or a psychologist to see if there was anything wrong, not that he thought there was something serious. She was just going through things in her mind, the terrorist case had been very traumatic. He hope time and care from him would make things clearer to her.

Castle gave the woman in his arms a tight squeeze before inhaling deeply, god she was addictive, and beautiful, and stunning and in his bed. The last thing had Castle grinning until his face hurt, she was in his bed. Ahhhhhhhhh. Never had one woman got him so worked up and in a good way. He knew she was only there because she was so desperate for sleep but he would take any crumb he could get. He wouldn't push or try and take advantage of the situation, he would just show her the real him, and hope that was enough, for both of them.

**Authors Note: Thanks to Stanafan, Merry-Merry-Me, Lv2bnsb1 for allowing me to use the bad pick up lines used on them in this story. **

**Those who asked what was the deal with the photo shoot, don't worry all will be revealed soon.**

**I hope you liked this chapter, please review either way, it makes me write afters and here is proof as you got a chapter on Friday instead of Saturday or Sunday **

**Thanks**


	12. Chapter 12

Ain't no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett sat up with a start and looked around. She was at the precinct, she was at the precinct. Beckett reached up and pulled off the piece of paper that was stuck to her face. Great. It wasn't bad enough that she had fallen asleep at her desk but judging by the smeared ink and the fact the piece of paper was stuck to her face, she had also drooled. She glanced at the paper work in her hand annoyed that she was going to have to re do it, then she saw how much she had actually done. Two lines worth! After a fitful night of not sleeping she had come in at 5 am and by the look of it promptly fell asleep. Stretching Beckett got up and made her way to the restroom to freshen up before heading to get herself a coffee. Grabbing a cup Beckett walked up to the machine Castle had provided for them, she hated to admit it but it was a god send, although it ruined her for any other coffee. She pressed a few buttons, nothing. Beckett frowned and pushed a few more buttons, still nothing. Beckett started stabbing at the machine with her finger.

"Stupid machine" Beckett smacked the side with her hand.

"Can't even make a decent" Smack. Smack. Smack.

"Stupid cup" Smack. Smack . Smack.

"Of coffee." Beckett grabbed the machine with both hands and attempted to shake it.

"Hey Detective, take it easy."

Beckett took a look at 'The new guy', she was really going to have to learn the morons name.

"This thing is supposed to make coffee, it's not making coffee."

She watched as he took a hesitant step forward.

"It's broken."

"I know that, which is why I am angry at it." she said giving it another smack.

"It broke yesterday, remember. Rick has organised someone to come look at it today."

Beckett turned back to the machine and gave it one more slap before walking out of the break room. She did remember it was broken, they had Castle doing coffee runs all day. That was until he organised a vat of the stuff to be delivered from one of the coffee shops. It wasn't fancy coffee just straight up and strong and still better than the horrible crap they used to drink, but right now even that would have been welcomed. She needed caffeine and she needed it now. Beckett sat down on her chair with a huff, she was tired, she was irritable, she needed coffee. Hearing her cell ring Beckett picked it up and answered without looking at the screen.

"What?"

"Umm hi Beckett, I didn't wake you did I?"

"It's 7 am" she snapped back. "What do you want Castle?"

"I just saw the three missed calls. I guess I forget to take it off silent. I didn't want Gina nagging me while we were interrogating that suspect yesterday. Was there a case early this morning? Please tell me I didn't miss a really weird one"

"People don't die just for your entertainment."

"I know" he practically stammered. "I just saw the missed calls I figured that's why you called. Is everything ok?"

"Of course everything is ok, why wouldn't it be ok. I am a cop remember I can take care of myself."

Beckett heard Castle sigh.

"You're at the precinct aren't you, you couldn't sleep last night. Oh god Beckett, I am so sorry. You should have just came over and banged on the door and woken me up. Look why don't you come over now and get a few hours, I am sure the Captain will understand."

Beckett stood up and stormed back into the empty break room.

"Yeah that's really what I am going to do Castle. I am going to go and tell the Captain that I have to leave so I can go and sleep with you. That will go down real well. No one is going to believe that all we do is sleep and I bet you wouldn't try and fix the confusion. Or maybe that's what you want, for people to find out where sleeping together. After all if they think we are having sex then we might as well be right. Well you can just forget it."

Beckett angrily ended the call walked back to her desk and threw her phone at it. She watched as it came apart, pieces flying all over her desk. Looking up she saw a few of the other detectives looking at her.

"What" she snapped.

Deciding to ignore them Beckett grabbed up the pieces of her phone and threw them into her desk, she'd deal with it later. Throwing herself into her chair Beckett went back to filing out her paperwork. She went to reach for her coffee only to realise she still didn't have one. Today sucked and it was only 7 am

Castle stood waiting for the doors to open, two cups of coffee in his hands. Becketts is the one on the right, on the right, he kept telling himself. It was 10:30 but he knew no matter what time it was Beckett would need a coffee. Judging by her outburst earlier she would desperately need this one. He had taken his time coming in this morning. Not only did he want to give Beckett a chance to calm down but he had to get a few things done. Hearing the familiar ding Castle watched as the doors opened. He took a deep breath, here goes nothing. Trying to keep his face neutral Castle made his way through the precinct, he nodded at a few officers along the way.

"Hey Ryan, Esposito."

"Hey, be careful bro she is not in the best of moods."

Castle acknowledged Espositos warning and tentatively made his way over to Beckett.

He sat down in his chair and had barely reached out his right arm with her coffee in it when she snatched it out of his hand.

"Morning."

Beckett brought the coffee to her mouth and tilted it back, only her eyes turning to glare at him. Castle placed his coffee on the desk before reaching into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He placed them on the desk and pushed them towards her. Beckett pulled the coffee away from her face but didn't put it down.

"What's this?" Beckett kept her eyes focused on the collection of keys attached to a limited edition Derrick Storm key ring. She owned one until her apartment had blown up and like his books they were impossible to find online.

"I got them made for you this morning, that's why I am late. They are a set of keys to the loft."

Becketts eyes widened, he was giving her keys to his place, in front of everyone. She slammed her coffee down and grabbed the keys with her now empty hand.

"Follow me" she said standing up. "Now"

She angrily stalked past Ryan and Esposito. "Castle and I are stepping out for a bit." She didn't wait for a response she just kept walking. Pushing the door to the stairwell open Beckett immediately ran down a flight pausing at the landing on the lower lever. She turned suddenly and Castle nearly ran into her.

"What the hell is this" she asked holding up the keys practically piecing his face with the sharp steel.

Castle pushed the keys away. "They're keys to the loft, for you to use"

Becketts face tightened. "What, so you think if I won't announce to the Captain that I have been sharing your bed you'd do it in front of the whole precinct"

Castle looked at her in shock. "That's not why I did it."

"Oh come on Castle, why else do you give sometimes keys to your place. It's so they can be ready and waiting in your bed. You will stop at nothing to make me another notch on your bed post right. Well I've got news for you, I don't want these and I don't want you."

Beckett threw the keys at his chest and then pushed past him to walk back up the stairs.

"Beckett wait."

She ignored him and continued on voyage.

"Please wait, let me explain why I got the keys for you."

Beckett finally made it to her level and began to walk towards the door that would get her out of the stairwell and away from Castle.

"Beckett stop. Stop or I'll chase you back in there and tell everyone where you have been spending your nights."

Beckett turned and watched as Castle climbed the remaining steps and then came to stand in front of her.

"That's what you have been trying to do anyway. I can't believe I trusted you, I can't believe I fell for your crap. _Anytime, anywhere, always" _she said in a goofy voice. "What a load of bull and here I thought you cared about me. The whole time it was just leading up to this wasn't it?"

"No, that's not true."

Beckett laughed. "Yeah like, I'm ever going to believe anything you ever say. Come on Castle spin me some bullshit story about why you gave me the keys"

Castle stood there shocked. How could she think that after all he had done for her. He tried to rationalise it, she was just angry, real angry. She was tired and sleep deprived. He tried to stay calm tried not to let her words effect him, but it was hard, real hard.

"Cant give me an answer can you" she challenged. "You can't lie to me; you can't tell me the truth. What kind of writer are you? Oh I know a pathetic one, you couldn't even come up with a decent plan to get me into bed so you resorted to blackmail. You're Scum."

Beckett turned to leave but Castle couldn't let her get away with that, he had to open his big mouth.

"I got you the keys so you could stop acting like a bitch."

Blind rage filled her, she turned around and struck out. Beckett felt as if the whole world had gone quite and was suddenly in slow motion. She watched in horror as her clenched fist collided with Castles jaw, causing his head to swing around with the force. He stumbled back and his hands scrambled to get purchase on the railing to stop himself falling backwards down the stairs. She watched as his hand came up to cup his injured jaw, before looking up at her. The pain that radiated through her hand was nothing compared to the pain radiating through her heart. Oh my god what had she just done. He brain rewound the last five seconds and showed her, again and again and again. She had just hit Castle. She hit him. Not a sissy open handed slap that was followed by a glass of wine in the face. She had hit him, punched him. She had just assaulted the man who had been there for her through thick and thin, who had saved her life, who had her back. The only person who told her the truth. Tears welled up in her eyes and Beckett did the only thing she could. 

She ran!

She dodged Castles arm as he tried to reach out to stop her, she had to get away. As she ran Beckett wasn't sure what was running faster. Her legs down the stairs or the tears down her face. Beckett tried to clear her blurry vision, wiping her tears and tear drenched hair away from her face. She needed one arm free to hold on to the railing as she spiralled down the stairs. She jumped down the final last two steps and sprinted out the door and into the lower floor of the precinct. Running through like she was after a criminal Beckett found herself out on the street within seconds. She knew going for her car was pointless; she didn't have her keys on her so she took off down the street. Coming to an intersection she cursed when she saw the red light. What should she do?. Stand and wait with the tourist for the lights to turn green or cross like every other New Yorker.

"Beckett"

Turning she saw Castle running towards her. She had to get away and she couldn't wait for the lights to change. She turned and ran down the street on her left. It didn't matter where she was going she just had to get away. Of course every other person in the city was walking down the same street and she kept colliding with them slowing her escape. When she came to another intersection her anger grew, what was with all the red lights. She could turn left again but the way she was going she would end up going in a circle and end up back at the precinct. Maybe that's where she should be, locked up in a cell. She had assaulted someone after all. Someone who cared for her.

"Beckett"

She felt a hand on her arm and she jumped back.

"Don't touch me" she yelled.

She watched as other pedestrians waiting to cross turned to look at her and Castle briefly before turning back to their mundane lives.

Castle took a step back. "Ok ok I won't touch you. I just want you to stop running"

"Just leave me alone Castle" the tears were still running down her face and she swiped at them harshly.

People knocked into them as the light changed.

"Come on" Castle said leading her off to the side to stand against a building to get them away from the hustle and bustle of New York.

She followed him but looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Just leave me alone Castle, please."

"No Kate. We need to talk about this."

"Why can't you just leave me alone" she sobbed. She had abused him both verbally and physically and yet he was still here. Beckett put her head down and tried to cover her face with her hand. Oh god she was a bitch, she was worse than a bitch, she was scum.

"Hey" he said leaning in close and gently lifted her head with his finger. "When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours that I am not going anywhere. No matter what you do to me, no matter what you say to me, I am never going to turn my back on you, especially when you need me."

Beckett tried to stop the tears running down her face and the force was making her shake slightly. He still wanted to help her even after she had said all those horrible lies, yes she realised now how stupid the things she said were.

"Come on your in no condition to be standing on the street. Let's get you out of here."

Beckett nodded she was making a scene not that anyone around noticed.

"Where?"

Castle thought about it, it needed to be somewhere private. A coffee shop was out of the question.

"We could go to your place, or mine, or somewhere neutral." He racked his brain, he knew lots of intimate places in the city but this wasn't the time. "A park maybe"

His place, she always found solace there.

"Is anyone at home?" Home! It had been a long time since she had one of those. Places where she slept yes but even now she didn't have that.

"Alexis is at school and mother got the lead in some new play, she is always at rehearsal or hanging out with the younger crew educating them on the art of acting."

Beckett nodded.

"Stay here, I'll get us a taxi"

She huddled by the wall until he called her over to get into the taxi. Sliding in she hugged the other side keeping as much distance between herself and Castle as possible. She had just punched him and now he was taking her to his home. His sanctuary, his place to hide from the evil people in the world. Evil people who punched you in the face for telling them the truth. It seemed her tears hadn't given up and started to fall heavily again. She flinched when she felt a tap on her arm, she looked over at Castle and saw him holding out a white handkerchief, she didn't even realise people carried handkerchief nowadays. She took it and looked it over, it was pure, crisp, white, with two royal blue cursive initials sewn in the corner. She ran her fingers over the letter.

"It stands for Really Cute" he told her trying to lighten the mood.

Castle swore he saw a smile twitch to her lips for just a second. Good he had to get her mind off what she had done.

"Ruggedly Charming" he offered. "Refreshingly Childlike"

Again a smile threatened to adorn her face but she turned before he could see it. Too much, too soon he thought.

Beckett looked out the window while rubbing the fabric between her fingers. 15 minutes ago when her body was taken over by aliens, the only excuse she could come up with for her outburst, she would have thought R C stood for a lot of different things. Reprehensible Cretin, Ridiculously Cocky, Rude and Conceited, Rambling Confusing, Radically Cryptic, Renegade Cop, Riding Crop. Looking at the pure white innocent fabric in her hand she realised that R C stood for something very different. Resolutely Committed, Radiantly Compelling and most importantly, Relentlessly Caring. The tears that had taken a brief respite were back again. Beckett wiped her wet cheeks with the white cloth and look in shock at the black smear she had left on it.

"I've ruined your handkerchief."

"I can afford to buy a new one, besides you need it more than I do."

Through blurred tears Beckett watched as the city flew by until they reached Castles loft. She never realised how often Castle touched her. Helping her out of the taxi, and leading her to his place, he touched her five times. A flat palm on her back, a gentle caress on her arm, and she had tried to avoid his touch. How many times would he touch her if she wasn't, was he being overly touchy feeling because he thought she needed it.

"Sit where ever you feel comfortable" he told her once they were inside.

Beckett nodded at him and then looked around. Where to sit? There wasn't anywhere in this place that she didn't feel comfortable. She decided to go to the place she felt most comfortable, well second most comfortable, no wait third, although she wasn't going to admit where the other two places were. She sat on the couch in the corner took her shoes off and brought her legs up to her chest. Leaning her head against the arm of the couch Beckett closed her eyes and sighed with relief. She didn't realise how stressed and wound up she was until she hit the couch. It really was magic.

"Here."

Beckett opened her eyes to see Castle standing in front of her holding a glass of clear liquid. Beckett shook her head.

"It's not Vodka, its water."

She took the glass and drank deeply before handing it back to the waiting Castle. She watched as he placed the glass on the coffee table before sitting way to close to her resting his arm across the top of the couch. Beckett attempted to shift away from him but it was no use she was already plastered to the side of the couch.

Castle watched as she tried to escape him for the second time that day.

"Beckett, don't shy away from me. I am not going to hurt you."

His heart broke as he a sob escaped from her.

"I know, but I might hurt you." Fresh tears ran down her face.

Castle closed his eyes and gritted his teeth; she was worried about hurting him. He opened his eyes to see Becketts body racked with sobs, he couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted him to stay away but he couldn't, not when she was like this. He reached over wrapped his arms around her shoulders and attempted to force her to turn towards him. She tried to struggle out of his grasp but he held on tight.

"Stop fighting me Kate, the more you fight me the more likely chance you will hurt me again."

He hated using guilt on her but it had the desired effect, he felt her body go lax under his hold on her. Using little force this time her pulled her towards him. The second her head rested on his chest he felt her hand clench in his shirt and then the sobbing became worse. Her body was racked violently by her sobs and the sounds that came from her body sounded more like a wounded animal than a human. However Castle didn't try to stop her. She needed this, she needed to get it out. Crying was often seen as cathartic. He simply held her tight and allowed her tears to penetrate through his shirt. It killed him to sit there while she was in so much pain, pain he had helped cause but he had to be strong. She never needed him more as far as he was concerned. After what felt like a million years her sobs started to subside.

"It's going to be ok" he assured her rubbing his hand over her arm. He placed a gentle kiss to her hair.

"What's wrong with me Castle?"

Castle looked down at her.

"Nothing, you're practically perfect."

"Practically?"

"Yeah it's the little imperfections that make us special, unique."

"And my imperfection is that I am a bitch."

"Can you ever forgive me for calling you that?"

Beckett sat up and looked at him. "You're asking if I can forgive you. Castle I punched you."

"But I provoked you. I was angry and I said some stupid things."

"So did I. Again. Oh god Castle what's going on with me" she laid her head on his chest again. "I haven't been right since we were stuck in that freezer, maybe something happened to me. Maybe I should see a doctor or something."

He knew she was getting desperate if she was suggesting seeing a doctor.

"I think that would be a good idea although I think it's more a psychological thing than a physical thing."

"So you're saying I'm crazy, because that would certainly explain the way I have been acting lately."

"What I am saying is that day was very traumatic for the both of us, we faced death, what three times. You were bound to be a little rattled by it."

"You faced the same things I did and you are fine."

"Well yeah, but I have faced things worse than death, remember I have two ex wives."

Beckett pulled her self up to look at him and give him one of her trademark eye rolls.

"Look I'm no psychologist but in my opinion your brain is still recovering from it and is showing signs by not letting you sleep. Which means you haven't been able to relax and I know you haven't been eating well either. At the moment we don't know what's causing your body to react this was but we can certainly treat the symptoms. Which is why I wanted you to have these."

Beckett watched as Castle pulled out the keys she had thrown at him what seemed like a life time ago. His fingers juggled the smooth metal.

"I let you down last night Beckett. I swore I would never break a promise to you again but I did."

Beckett looked up at him but he kept his eyes focused on the keys.

"What promise, I don't understand?"

"I promised I'd climb a real tall mountain, cross a real wide river, nothing was going to keep me from getting to you, if you needed my help. I promised you anytime, anywhere, always, but it seems that only applies to when my phone isn't on silent. I felt so bad this morning which is why I went and got these cut for you."

Castle held the keys up and jingled them.

"See these keys Beckett, they're not the keys to my bedroom, my bed or my pants, they're keys to the door behind us. What you do with them is up to you. You can throw them in your bag and let them sit there. Or you could use them to let me in when I have locked myself out and save me from having to call my daughter or worse, my mother. The next time I'm a pain at work you could sneak in here and put itching powder in my underwear."

He felt Becketts body jolt quickly and he was sure it meant she had laughed or possibly snorted. It was time to get serious now though.

"Or the next time I've been an idiot and left my phone on silent, and we both know there will be a next time, you can use your keys and come in. Now where you sleep is up to you, the floor, the couch, the kitchen counter, or there is my bed, with or without me in it. The point is I wanted you to have a place you could go where you would feel safe, where you could relax and get some sleep. That's all it was ever meant to be."

Beckett looked at the keys. He was offering her sanctuary; he was offering her keys to his sanctuary. He still hadn't looked at her and she wondered if it was because he was afraid, she had hit him after the last time he had told her the truth

"Castle"

He glanced sideways to look at her.

"Thank you"

Beckett reached over and took the keys from his hands and placed them in her pocket. Words were not enough, thank you wasn't enough. She needed to do more to show him how much she appreciated him. Beckett inhaled deeply, it wasn't dark and she couldn't turn away from him, she had to man up. She leaned further into him and slid her arms around his shoulder and pulled him into a hug.

"Why do you put up with me" she asked resting her head on his shoulder, she felt his arms come around her waist and she sighed with relief. She was here, in his place, on his couch, in his arms and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Castle thought about the reasons why he put up with her. He cared about her, he loved her.

"The same reason you put up with me."

Chicken!.

Beckett leaned back to look at him.

"Captain Montgomery forces you to?"

A smile broke out on his face; if she was joking with him then things were going to be ok.

"Haa ha very funny Detective."

"What ever the reason, I appreciate it and promise to try and be a better friend. If I ever go a little crazy like that again feel free to put me in my place."

"Just as long as you keep that fist to yourself, you got a deal."

Beckett sat there half in his lap but completely in his arms, she rubbed her hands over his forearms.

"If I ever lose control like that I give you permission to cuff me."

Castle wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"On second thoughts..."

"Castle" Beckett lightly slapped him on the chest.

Beckett watched as Castle frowned and gave her puppy dog eyes.

"Does that mean no cuffs?"

She almost felt sorry for him.

"Cuffs or me feeling better those are your options."

Castle looked at the woman that was almost sitting in his lap. Although her eyes were bright and sparkling now they were still remnants of her crying earlier. Hey eyes lashes clung together still wet with tears, mascara had run giving her the look of a panda and her nose looked almost swollen and red. Yet he still considered her to be beautiful.

"Fine" he sighed. "But I settle for another hug"

Settle. Yeah right , he'd be over the moon if she hugged him again. He at least hoped she would give him another slap, on the chest, not the face. When she gave him one of her famous eyes rolls he hadn't been surprised, what had surprised him was when she leaned forward and hugged him. He was not going to waste this opportunity he brought his arms back up around her and held her to him. As Beckett pulled back her cheek brushed against his, she stopped inches away from his lips. Becketts lips trembled as she stared at his. She remembered what it had felt like when he gave her a good night kiss in the Hamptons. His lips had only grazed the corner of hers but the sensation had felt wonderful. Not that being in his arms wasn't great, it was, but after having a bad start to her day she could really use a pick me up. She could just give him a quick peck on the mouth; it would be no big deal right. Beckett wet her lips with her tongue and moved slightly forwards, she glanced up to look into his eyes and saw something unfamiliar, especially in Castles eyes. What was it? Fear, uncertainty, nervousness, she wondered if those exact same emotions reflected in her own. The gap between their lips seemed like the Grand Canyon as she lowered her lips to his, eventually he met her half way. Beckett closed her eyes as the heat consumed her body, oh yeah this is exactly what she had been after. She pulled back slightly but his lips followed and were soon on hers again. A simply peck had turned into a very delicious opened mouthed kiss. Beckett tried to shift her body, for some reason the heat that was consuming her lips ran directly down the front of her body and stopped in the apex of her thighs. The only reaction her wiggling had was to cause Castle to groan. Beckett allowed her body to relax into the kiss and enjoy the sensation that thrummed through her body. Hearing the sound of flutes Beckett frowned, she knew during monumental moments in movies and tv shows music played but that never happened in real life, did it? Recognising the tune Beckett pulled away from Castle and looked at him.

"Do you hear that?"

Castles eyes were wide and his face flushed. He had just kissed Beckett. Becketts lips had been on his own. He had Beckett flavoured saliva on his lips

"Hear what?" he asked breathlessly.

"The theme to Titanic."

Castle frowned for a second before it dawned on him. Beckett moved as Castle scrambled to find his phone.

"It's Ryan" he told her.

"Why do you have the Titanic theme song for his ring tone?"

"Esposito got hold of my phone last week and changed it. He said Ryans been mooing over Jenny really badly lately and he says he is sunk."

Taping his phone Castle held it to his ear.

"Hey Ryan what's up"

Beckett busied herself putting her shoes back on, if Ryan was calling then he must need them to come back. She stood and straightened her clothing and picked up the discarded handkerchief. Walking over to the kitchen sink she wet the fabric and used the refection in the glass cabinet to wipe away her raccoon eyes.

"The guys are hungry."

"What" Beckett said turning around.

Castle waved his phone at her before putting it back in his pocket.

"Remember we said we'd try that new Asian place that just opened up. I told them to go and order it and we will make our way back, is that ok?"

Beckett nodded and waited for the awkward after kiss moment.

"So you ready to go"

Beckett frowned, what. That's what he had to say after that mind blowing kiss. Beckett shook her head and bit her lip, what was she complaining about, did she really want to explain herself to Castle about why she did it. NO!

She allowed Castles to show her out of his loft and into a taxi. This time she sat directly next to him if not a bit to close. His hand had grazed her arm as he led her out of the loft. Had touched her lower back as he held the door open for her to leave the loft , leave his building and also to get into the taxi. His left hand now resided on his leg his baby finger hanging off the edge lightly grazing hers. When they reached the precinct he held his hand out to her, to help her out of the taxi, he gave it a tight squeeze before dropping it. His hand rested on her lower back two more times before they finally made it back to their floor. Not that she was counting.

"Yo Beckett, Castle, where you been."

"Castle man what happened to your face."

Beckett turned to look at Castle, alarm evident in her eyes.

"Well there was this blonde with big"

Beckett glared at him.

"Eyes, real big eyes. I thought I knew her and let's just say I wasn't watching where I was going."

Becketts shoulders sagged, thank goodness Castle was adept at making up stories or lies in this case at the drop of a hat. Beckett walked over to her desk and pulled out the pieces of her phone. Ryan had probably tried to call her and gotten no answer, she'd get Castle to reconstruct it after lunch.

"Come on guys lunch is getting cold."

She wanted as Ryan and Esposito walked off into the break room. Beckett stood up and went to shut her desk drawer but then stopped. She bent down and put her hands right in the back feeling around until her hands finally clamped down on the object she was looking for.

"Castle, you got a sec."

Castle had gone to follow the guys into the break room but stooped. He looked at the guys already digging into their food and then back at Beckett.

"Ahh sure what's up?"

He stood directly in front of her blocking Ryan and Espositos view of her.

"I have something to give you. I am going to put it in your hand and I don't want you to look at it I just want you to put it in your pocket ok."

"What is it, a frog?"

Beckett glared at him.

"Ok"

He held out his hand and Beckett placed the object in it only pulling away when she felt his hands clasp around it. She watched as he put his hand straight into his jacket pocket but then keep it there. Castle frowned at the hard sharp steel object in his hand. He looked up at Beckett confused, why was she giving these back; he thought she understood the reason. Had he frightened her off with the kiss, she had kissed him to; she had initiated the kiss and seemed to enjoy it. What was going on?

"There mine" she told him seeing his worried look. "My spare ones anyway, I figured if I have yours you should have mine. Like in that Seinfeld episode"

Castle smiled, she trusted him. She trusted him with her keys, she trusted him not to walk in on her while she was in the shower. Not that he wouldn't think about doing it, he just wouldn't do it. Beckett gave him a brief smile before walking past him.

"Have dinner with me."

They both turned to look at each other in shock. Castle didn't know where the invite came from, he just knew he wanted to spend more time with her. He had never seen a deer in headlights but he imagined Beckett looked like one right now.

"With me and Alexis" he added. "And mother maybe, who knows?"

Castle thanked god for reminding him he had a daughter.

Beckett shook her head. "I dunno know Castle."

She looked around but no one was within hearing range.

"Oh come on, you haven't seen Alexis in a week and at least then I'll know you having a decent meal. We are having pasta."

"I'm going shopping with her tomorrow Castle and you will see me eating as soon as you stop talking." 

"Oh come on Beckett that's one meal and we both know you will be hungry with in an hour of eating it. Come on if I don't see you eating I'm going to start spiking your coffee with a health supplement."

"You wouldn't dare?"

Castle smiled at her. "How do you know I haven't already?"

Becketts eyes widened and she looked to her abandoned coffee cup that still sat on her desk.

"Do you know how much trouble you could get in for spiking a cops coffee?"

Castle took a step forward. "I do, but it would still be worth it, because you're worth it."

Beckett stood there as the words sunk in, what this man was willing to do, willing to put up with for her. It was just dinner after all, and Alexis would be there. Dinner at the Hamptons had actually been pretty nice. It had been forever since she had sat around a table eating dinner at home. Home! The place in the Hamptons wasn't her home neither was Castles loft but she realised it wasn't so much where she was, it was who she was with. As Alexis had told her she was family.

"Ok"

Castle looked at her surprised.

"Ok?"

"Ok I'll come for dinner"

**Authors Note: Ok so what did you think, I admit I am a little nervous on your reactions. Yes Beckett may seem a little out of character but in my opinion its cause she is a little out of sorts. **

**Your thoughts either way would be great. I thrive on reviews**

**Thanks to all of those who have given me tips on how to watch Castle online I really appreciate it.**

**And lastly a very big thank you to Little Lizzie and her Mum for their suggestions on what Rick Castles initials could stand for mine were, Really Crap, lol**


	13. Chapter 13

Ain't no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Alexis ran to the door and quickly inserted her keys, she was late and her Dad was going to kill her. With his cooking! She was supposed to be home half an hour ago to help cook dinner. She couldn't remember the amount of times she had to tell her Dad that cream sauce didn't actually have ice cream in it. Nor did the cream sauce get its colour from white chocolate. Opening the door Alexis frowned, she heard laughter. Not the big throaty dramatic laughter of her Grams but it was defintly female. Alexis dropped her bag on the ground and took of her shoes before venturing into her home.

"Castle, keep your hands to yourself."

Castle! There was only one woman who called her father Castle. Alexis walked towards the kitchen where the sounds of cooking were coming from. Stopping at the sight before her Alexis pulled out her cell and quickly snapped a picture. Her father and Kate were standing at the kitchen counter both wearing the matching Commander and Chef aprons she had bought with her father on their DC trip. Kate was currently chopping celery with a very sharp knife while her father stood next to her watching. Alexis curiously watched as her father got closer and closer to Kate.

"Castle, I warned you"

Alexis noticed Kates sing song, almost flirty voice. Yes she was warning him but it was almost as if she were tempting him too. This was a side of Kate she had never seen before and she was sure her father would have mentioned if Kate had been flirting with him. He told her everything else Kate did.

"I am just watching you," he told her still inching forward.

Alexis watched as her father got closer and closer to Kate until he was standing right behind her. Her eyes widened as she saw her father's hand come up and move towards Kates hip. Alexis reached for her cell again whatever was about to happen she wanted to catch it. Whether it be her fathers murder or fathers first kiss, or had they already kissed .Her father's hand moved closer and closer to Kates hip and then by passed it to reach for a piece of celery on the chopping board. Just as his hand snagged a piece Kates left arm pulled back and elbowed her father in the stomach.

"Ouch, that was harsh."

Kate put the knife down but picked up the celery stalk up and turned to wave it. She stalked towards him causing him to walk backwards until he hit the counter on the other side.

"If you keep eating the salad there isn't going to be anything left for dinner."

"Good, you girls eat too much salad as it is."

Beckett leaned into him.

"I don't care" Kate told him waving the vegetable in his face.

Alexis smiled as she saw her father lean in and bite the end off the stalk. Kate gasped and then preceded to wack her father with what was left of the celery.

"Hey, you wave something in my face I'm going to bite it."

Kate turned around and bit into the celery, it crunching loudly. She nodded her head as if thinking.

"Same here Castle."

Alexis eyes widened had Kate implied what she thought she just did. Judging by the look on her fathers face he was obviously thought the same thing she did. Deciding it was time to make herself known Alexis cleared her throat and fully entered the room.

"Hi Dad, hi Kate, what are you doing here."

She watched as Kate looked up surprised, if not a little nervous.

"Ahh you Dad invited me to come for dinner. I hope that's ok."

"Sure. We still on for shopping tomorrow."

"Yep. If you want?"

"Good, which means I need to hug Dad first. I need his credit card."

Alexis went and hugged her father as she pulled back she noticed a slight bruise on his jaw.

"Hey Dad, what happened to your face."

"I have always wondered that." Beckett said leaning against the counter and smiling at father and daughter. She gave him a little wink, she wanted him to know she was only teasing.

Castle smiled smugly at her.

"Beckett hit me" he said almost proudly.

Becketts mouth dropped open, she couldn't believe he had just told his daughter that. She knew she had a lot to make up for but he wasn't making it easy for her, or doing her any favours by telling his daughter. Although considering what she had done he was being awfully nice to her and she should take her punishment as he saw fit. Alexis pushed herself out of her father's arms shaking her head.

"Yeah right Dad, in her dreams."

Alexis turned and held her arms out to Kate who quickly entered them. She loved the fact that she had a special hug with Kate, her mother only wanted a hug as long as she didn't mess her hair or makeup. Pulling back she looked at Kate.

"So what really happened."

"There was a woman."

"Enough said," Alexis held up her hand. "Please tell me you got a picture, I need a new background pic for my cell. Dads victory dance has gotten a bit old."

Castle had been stirring the sauce but stopped when he heard his daughter admission.

"What the."

He pulled the spoon out of sauce and pointed it at Beckett.

"I thought you deleted it."

"Hey Dad you made red sauce this time" Alexis watched as tomato sauce dripped to the floor.

"Don't interrupt" he said pointing the spoon at her sending bits of sauce in her direction.

Alexis laughed as her father turned on Beckett again waving the spoon in her face. Beckett leaned forward and snatched the spoon out of his hand before licking some of the remanet sauce off of it.

"This is pretty good Castle."

"Don't change the subject." Castle snatched the spoon back from her."I thought you deleted that photo."

Beckett leaned against the counter and smiled.

"I did, but not before sending it to your daughter."

Castle placed his hand over his forehead dramatically. "Why is it that as soon as a woman gets under my roof she turns against me."

Beckett shared a smile with Alexis.

"So Kate, can I ask what your wearing tomorrow. I have got a few outfits laid out on my bed, I wasn't sure if you were going casual or dressy or going dressed so you can go straight to work."

"Isn't that why your shopping" Castle continue to stir the sauce and wasn't happy with the twin eye rolls he was getting.

"Castle why don't you put the pasta on while I go up with Alexis ok."

Castle looked between the two woman before nodding. He hoped that wasn't that a bad idea, letting two woman who knew too much about him having private time together. Watching the pair leave Castle couldn't help listen to Beckett talking to his daughter.

"Now when I go shopping on my own I go pretty casual but when I go with friends, I dress up, to me hanging out with friends is a special occasion."

Castle smiled. Kate thought spending time with his daughter was a special occasion. He caught sight of his reflection and shook his head at the love sick puppy look he had on his face. Pathetic. He shouldn't be all googly eyed over the woman up stairs, he should be angry with her. She had assaulted him today, she had gotten angry and had taken it out on him. The last thing he should be doing was having a cutesy family dinner with her. If the situation were reversed he certainly wouldn't be having dinner at Becketts house, in a jail cell maybe but not with Beckett. He had taken the high ground earlier that day and decided that making sure Beckett didn't hurt herself, by hurling herself down the stairs or running blindly into traffic, was more important than what she had down to him. Dealing with her obvious remorse over what she had done had been his top priority, now that she was feeling better and in a better frame of mind he would need to discuss what actually happened. That was later though, right now he had to get the pasta on.

Opening the packet he threw the whole lot in, he would try and convince Beckett to take the left overs home. He gave the pasta a quick stir before going to set the table, they rarely used it so it was covered with paper work. Scooping it all into one heap he carried it off to his study, he would deal with it later. Right now he wanted to forget the day's events, even if it was only for a few hours, and have a nice dinner with two very special woman. He set the table with placemats cutlery and the salad that Beckett had been preparing. Running back to the boiling water he quickly stirred it and the sauce. He wanted tonight to be perfect, to be normal, to be something that Beckett would want. After tiding up the kitchen Castle gave the pasta one last stir before pulling out a strand to see if the pasta was ready. He held the strand up and with a flick of his wrist he sent the strand flying towards the kitchen cupboard.

"Castle, what the hell do you think your doing."

Castle turned around to see his daughter and Beckett had entered the kitchen.

"I'm checking to see if the spaghetti is ready"

"By throwing it against the cupboards?"

"Yeah. Well you're meant to throw it up to the ceiling and if it sticks it isn't ready, but the ceiling is a bit high here."

Castle watched as the two woman before him shared another eye roll before Beckett walked over to him. She took the spoon and stirred the spaghetti before lifting out a few strands. Pursing her lips she blew on the spoon causing Castle to swallow deeply. Who would have thought cooking would be so sexy. Beckett plucked up one of the strands and then used her thumbnail to pierce the piece in two. She held the end up for him to see.

"See how the outer bit of the spaghetti is almost a yellow colour but there is like a tiny speck of white in the middle."

Castle leaned forward and realised she was right, there was a tiny bit of white, he never really paid that much attention to pasta before.

"That means it's still not cooked yet, give it another minute or two."

"That's a cool trick."

Beckett raised her eyes brows at him.

"Or you could do it the old fashion way" she said holding up the now cold strand and dropping it into her mouth.

Castle looked at her lips, oh god he shouldn't have chosen spaghetti. Sure she had just dropped the spaghetti into her mouth this time, but what was going to happen later. Was she one of these woman who ate seductively and slowly, sucking in each individual strand. If so he was an absolute goner.

"Dad."

Startled, Castle looked at his daughter.

"What"

"Why don't you get a bottle of wine for you and Kate to share?"

Castle clicked his fingers and pointed at his daughter, that was a good idea. Wine would help Beckett loosen up and relax a bit. He walked over to his collection and scanned it, what hadn't his mother drunk, that was good with pasta.

"Don't bother Castle I'll just have soda."

"Don't be ridiculous."

He held up a bottle, somehow his mother missed this one.

"Castle, I am driving."

"So, the pasta and bread will soak it up. Just have one glass."

"And one glass will lead to two because there is just a little bit left in the bottle and you don't want to waste it."

Castle laughed. "An open bottle of wine doesn't stay full for long in this house. I'll leave what's left open on the counter and in the morning the wine fairies will make it disappear, in other words, Mother. There are times when I didn't even know mother came home, except for the fact that there is wine missing."

Beckett sighed. "Alright, but I am warning you, just one glass."

"Dad, pasta"

Castle put the wine down and ran over to the pot. He really needed to focus on one thing at a time and right now that was feeding Beckett.

**Authors Note: Hi all, just a short little cutesy chapter. It was meant to be a longer chapter but my neck has been giving me grief and I shouldn't really be in front of a computer. So I thought I'd split the chapter in two and give you this now and see if I can pump out the other half after some food, pain killers and a wheat bag.**

**My next chapter will address the Beckett hitting Castle and why he accepted it so easily. Its something that a few reviewers brought up and I now realise it needs to be addressed.**

**Thanks for all your reviews , I can believe, I hit the 100 mark. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. You're the greatest. **


	14. Chapter 14

Ain't no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett reluctantly allowed Castle to pull her in the direction of his bedroom. Alexis had gone off to bed claiming she needed to study after they had spent a few hours watching Seinfeld reruns. Castle dragged her into his room and shut the door and then dropped her things on his chest of drawers.

"Castle I can't stay."

He turned and rested against the drawers and folded his arms in an almost challenging pose.

"Cant or wont?"

Beckett sighed, that was one of the things she hated about having a writer for a friend, he was always picking apart what she said. Dissecting, pulling apart, analysing everything.

"I shouldn't. I am shopping with Lanie and Alexis tomorrow."

"Which is exactly the reason why you should stay? We saw today what can happen when you don't get any sleep. As much as the idea of you and Lanie getting into a chick fight excites me, I wouldn't be there to see it, so it's probably better if it doesn't happen tomorrow. Also Esposito would kill me if I didn't record it for him."

Becketts mouth gaped open. "How can you joke about something like that?"

"I have to Beckett, because if I don't." Castle stood up and raked his hand through his hair. "If I don't, than I start to seriously think about what happened today and when I do that, I think about walking away from you and never turning back."

The admission shocked her. She stumbled back slightly and decided she needed to sit down. Finding the bed she sat and then placed her head in her hands. He thought about walking away. About never seeing her again. The thought scared her, really scared her. She threw what she did was wrong, she hated herself for it, she honestly didn't think she had done anything in her life that was as bad as this. Castle had every right to walk away, she couldn't blame him really, but she didn't want him to. Obviously he didn't want to either, because she was here in his house, in his room, and that confused her.

"I don't understand then, why am I here?"

"Because I am an idiot. I swear I spend more time worrying about you than I do myself."

Great, he was regretting his decision; she had put him in an awkward position. Something she never wanted to do.

"Look Castle I am really sorry about today, I don't know what got into me and I'd do anything to take it back. You have to know that."

"I do Beckett, I do. It's why your here, it's why I chased after you today. I saw the second it happened that you regretted it, but the point is Beckett you still did it, you still hit me. You called me scum. Do you know how much that hurts? not here", he said rubbing his hand against his jaw. "But here" he said bringing a clenched fist to his heart. "You're my friend, someone I care about and you did this to me."

Beckett looked up at the man who was pacing before her. Her face contorted in pain.

"Castle I..."

"I don't condone what you did but...Do you know how many times I've wanted to run into the interrogation room and throttle the suspect because he has said something to you. Don't get me wrong if Esposito or Ryan had called you a bitch I wouldn't have hesitated to hit them. I doubt I'd even get a punch in before I was on the floor cowering. The point is we are men, it's what we do. Think about it what if the situation were reversed, what if I had been the one to hit you. What would you do, would you ever want to see me again?"

Beckett nodded than shook her head. He was right; she would never want to be part of an abusive relationship, but apparently she already was. Beckett rubbed her hands over her legs and swallowed deeply. He had given her a reprieve today and now he was telling her like it was. Her mouth twitched as she tried to stop the tears from falling, she had to do this. She had to do this for her; she had to do this for him. Beckett stood and walked towards her gear.

"I'm going to go." She picked up her jacket.

"No!"

Beckett dropped her jacket when she felt his hands rest on her hips. She allowed him to use his grip to turn her around. Beckett gave him as pained look.

"What do you want from me Castle?"

"I want you in my life Kate."

Kate. He called her Kate. She pushed her way out of his embrace and walked to the other side of the room.

"Why, why would you want me in your life? I've treated you badly. I accused you of trying to con me into your bed, yet I have been the one who has been coming willingly. Why would you even want me in your life when I hurt you?"

Castle came to stand behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Because even though you have hurt me, it would hurt more not to have you in my life. When you ran today I had to make a split decision, go after you or walk away. Pain or even more pain. I want you in my life so I made the decision to build a bridge and get over it. It's not going to be easy and it will probably always be in the back of my mind, but it's what I have to do. It's what I need to do. It's what I have to do, for us."

Beckett leaned back into him and sighed in relief as she felt his hands run up and down her upper arms.

"You know when we first started working together; I wondered what I did to deserve you. Now I think the same thing, but for different reasons. I know saying I'm sorry probably doesn't mean much but hopefully this will. I promise to tell you the truth. I promise that if I need help, I will ask you. I promise to use your spare keys, if I need to sleep and you don't answer your phone. I promise to never hit you again. You can believe me because I know if I don't honour those promises, I will lose you forever and I don't know what I would do if that happened."

Beckett turned in his arms and stared up at him her eyes focusing on the mark on his jaw. She gasped back a sob.

"I can't believe I hit you."

Castle could see the pain clearly in her eyes.

"Just as I need to get over this, so do you. If whenever you look at my face all you think about is how you hit me, then we can never move on from it."

Beckett bit her lip and nodded.

"So how exactly do I build this bridge?"

Castle looked up at the ceiling thinking for a moment before looking back at her.

"By making new memories."

Beckett raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know the saying, when you fall off a horse you need to get back on; well that's what we need to do here"

"But I didn't fall off your face Castle."

Castle opened his mouth to comment but then closed it again gritting his teeth.

"I'm not going to touch that one. What I mean, is, that whenever you see my face you're going to remember your fist slamming into it."

Beckett shuddered as the memory flooded back to her.

"Hey" he said giving her arms a quick squeeze. "The point is we need to make new memories for you and me." He picked up her hand and ran his thumbs over her knuckles. "I need to see these as more than a weapon."

Beckett closed her eyes, his touch was intoxicating.

"Hhhow" she stammered.

"Trust me?"

Beckett opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were so sincere.

"With my life."

Castle moved his hands over hers and closed her right hand into a fist; he then brought it to his jaw.

"Castle" Beckett pulled her hand away from his face, she couldn't do this again, she couldn't see it again.

"You said you trusted me."

Beckett handed her arm back to him. As before he brought her fist to his face, he let her knuckles rest where she had hit him earlier that day. He then turned her wrist and ran the back of her hand up and down his jaw. His slight 5 o'clock shadow rubbed against her skin causing a tingling sensation to run down her arm and all through her body. How did he do this? How did he turn her cold empty body into an inferno? She closed her eyes closing off one of her senses to allow it to heighten the feeling running through her body.

"You need to open your eyes; you need to make new memories."

Beckett opened her eyes and watched as he brought her hand further down his jaw and to his lips. She watched as he peppered her knuckles with tiny kisses causing her to tremble. His lips were on her hands but hours earlier they had been on lips. Feeding the fire inside of her. Her actions today had shocked her, had brought her further into the darkness. Further into the cold dark empty numb world she was trying to escape. His touch brought heat, light, fulfilment, and feeling. When he touched her with his hands, with his lips, he made her feel again. Feel things she couldn't even explain, all she knew is that she wanted more of it. She gently pulled her hand from his and ran her fingers down his jaw. She then leaned forward and traced the same path with her lips. When she got to his mouth she stopped and pulled back, his heavy breathing mimicking her own. His warm breath tingled on her lips and she knew she couldn't stop now. She leaned in and claimed his lips with her own. Her hands came up to wrap around his neck as his snaked around her waist pulling her closer. His kisses were like food to a starving woman, a little taste wasn't enough.

"Richard."

The pair quickly pulled back their heads but were still in each others arms.

"My mother."

"Gram I told you he looked tired, he's probably going to sleep."

"And my daughter" he whispered.

Beckett looked towards the door as knocking broke the silence. Had she knocked earlier but they had been so absorbed in each other to notice.

"Richard, I want to talk to you."

"Cant it wait until tomorrow mother."

"No."

Castle reluctantly pulled his arms away from Beckett but leaned in to whisper in her ear. "The door isn't locked so any second now they are going to come in here. Your choice detective. Fight or flight?"

Beckett pulled back and looked at him. "What?"

"Richard"

"Just a second mother."

"Either stay here and explain why you're in my bedroom to my mother and daughter or go hide."

Beckett looked around the room and started to make her way towards the bathroom.

"No" Castle grabbed her arm and pushed her towards his closet. "She might just want to borrow some hair products."

Castle removed his shirt and threw it on to his bed just as his mother walked into his room.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOm" he turned quickly as if doing his pants back up, trying to create an excuse for him delaying opening the door. He turned back to her and held his hands out.

"What do you want?"

He watched as his mother looked around the room. Castles eyes glanced towards Becketts things on his drawers and slowly made his way over to them and sat in front blocking his mothers view. Hopefully she hadn't seen the pile.

Seeming satisfied that there wasn't anything interesting in his room he watched as his mother and daughter sat down on his bed.

"Darling I haven't seen you in forever, I just wanted to come and say hello."

Castle crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at his mother. He wasn't buying it.

"Fine. I just came home and the place smelled wonderful I went and asked Alexis what the two of you had for dinner. She informed me that it wasn't two it was three."

Alexis gave him a smile and a shrug.

"Yes Beckett stayed for dinner, mother. It was no big deal."

"Really. From what Alexis told me it was very domesticated."

Alexis looked at her grandmother in shock.

"All I said was that it was nice Dad. I really liked having her here, eating dinner at a table, like a normal family. Kate's fun to be around. She likes watching Seinfeld and quotes lines from it like we do. Most people hate when you discus what you're watching, while you watching, it but she was totally cool with it. Do you think she would want to come around and do that again, like on a regular basis?"

Castle looked over his mother and daughter towards Becketts hiding place. He saw her head pop out and look at him; she bit her lip before smiling and nodding at him. Castle couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face.

"I think she might. Why don't you ask her tomorrow? You know what, I'll give you the car for the day, that way the three of you can sit back, relax, chat and get taken to any shopping destination you want. Now if that's all you ladies want."

Castle stood up waiting for his mother and daughter to leave. He watched as his mother looked at his daughter before standing up in a huff.

"Really Richard. Detective Beckett left, what half an hour ago. Surly you can wait another ten minutes before spanking the monkey over that picture of her in your bedside table, you think we don't know you have."

Castles eyes widened before he placed his hands over his face, hiding from the world and hiding from Beckett hiding in his closet.

"Mother!"

"Oh really darling we are all adults here. It's been ages since you have been out with a woman. I can't remember the last time you were celibate for this long, I was starting to wonder if you had switched sides."

Castle looked up at his mother; this could work in his favour. His mother had just admitted that he wasn't a playboy any more, although she did also say she was wondering if he was gay.

"You know what mother, it's been great talking to you but it's late and Alexis has a big day of shopping ahead of her so if you don't mind."

He stood up and ushered them out much to his mothers protest. He closed the door behind them and this time locked the door. He didn't want to be interrupted again, not that he thought there would be anything to be interrupted, the moment was gone. Turning he saw Beckett gingerly walking out of the closet.

Beckett wasn't sure what to say. She had tried not to laugh at Marthas spank the monkey line, but realised how embarrassing for him it must be. She couldn't help but glance at his chest; she had never seen it bare before. When they had gotten wet in the Hamptons she had tried not to check out the definition that was clearly evident thanks to his wet shirt. Beckett tried to look anywhere but at his chest. She looked towards the bedside tables wondering which one the photo could be in. She had no doubt that it was true.

"I'm going to o change properly" he reached onto the bed and grabbed his discarded shirt before walking into his bathroom.

Beckett acted quickly. Castle always changed while she was in the bathroom so it would look unusual if she didn't. She dropped her pants in records in time and used her foot to open the drawer while she took off her shirt. Grabbing out her borrowed pyjamas she quickly put them on before throwing her clothes into the closet. She opened the drawer on Castle side of the bed. The thought had her straightening and ignoring the contents in the drawer. Castles side of the bed! It was Castles bed, the whole thing was his. He wasn't meant to have sides, yet he did, because of her. He had given up half of his bed so she could get some sleep. Given up his privacy so she would stop treating him like crap. Whether he had a picture of her in his drawer was his business, she had stolen enough of his privacy. Beckett closed the drawer without looking in it. She pulled back the covers on the bed, climbed in and then slid over to her side of the bed. A smile came to her lips and she snuggled into the pillow, she had a side of the bed. She never had a side of the bed before; it had always been where ever she had fallen after... No she wasn't going to think about that now; she was in a place of comfort, of peace. Castle opened the door and walked out into the room. He walked over to his bedroom door and double checked that it was locked before he turned the light off. The night light in the bathroom gave of an eerie blue glow and allowed Beckett to watch Castle walk over to the bed and get in. She felt him move around on the bed trying to get comfortable before finally settling in. Beckett bit her lip and laid there in the almost darkness. Today had been a horrible day. She had acted like a bitch, hit Castle, run like a lunatic through New York City crying her eyes out. Yet somehow she ended up in bed with Castle. He was giving her a second chance, a chance she didn't deserve.

"Castle" she rolled over on the bed as did he hearing her call his name. Beckett scooted over and wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his chest. "Thank you."

Castle was stunned and a little confused but still lightly wrapped his arms around her.

"For what?"

Beckett snuggled into his body before closing her eyes.

"For being you."

Castle pulled her closer to his body and held her tight. He opened his mouth to comment but decided to go with it. She was in his arms and that was enough, for now.

**Authors Note: Ok people pain killers didn't really work as I can only take mild ones so it took longer than I had anticipated to get this chapter up, thank god for days off work and retail therapy. **

**I hope you liked this chapter, at one point I did have the conversation going deeper but it started taking the story in a total different direction and I didn't want it to go there.**

**I hope you are enjoying the story and I look forward to hearing any feedback, thoughts or ideas you may have.**

**Also thanks to Lacy Curtains for making me realise I needed this chapter. **


	15. Chapter 15

Aint no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett knocked on her best friends door. When it came to being ready Lanie was always running late. Especially since Esposito had come on the scene not that Beckett could fault Lanie. Her friend was happy, really happy, which also meant another one of her friends was happy. When her friends were Beckett was happy.

"Lunch is on me if she is actually ready."

The redhead beside her laughed.

"Oh come on Kate, do you seriously think Dad will let you pay for lunch when you're out with me. If there isn't a charge on the credit card by 2 pm for lunch Dad will be calling to make sure we have actually eaten."

Beckett shook her head and knocked again at the door.

"He's already providing the car for us he doesn't need to pay for lunch too. It's bad enough he buys me coffee every morning, not that I don't appreciate it I do, it's just not necessary."

Alexis shrugged. "Lunch, a tank of gas and coffee isn't going to break the bank."

Beckett heard the locks turn and the door open slightly.

"Just because you have money doesn't mean you have to waste it."

Alexis laughed. "I wish my friends thought like you, the think I am crazy when I get all excited because I've bought something on sale."

Beckett laughed then frowned when she realised although the door had been unlocked the door didn't open.

"Lanie."

Beckett pushed the door open and yelled into the apartment again.

"I am in the bathroom just finishing off my hair."

Beckett shared a smile with Alexis before entering the apartment and sitting on the couch.

"I slept in, when you said you were busy last night Esposito came over and we were up all night, if you know what I mean. I got hardly any sleep and then I slept through my alarm, sorry I shouldn't be too much longer. So what were you doing last night?"

Beckett looked over at Alexis and bit her lip. The teen was looking at her waiting for her to reply to Lanie. If she didn't reply, Alexis would get suspicious and Lanie would continue to ask questions.

"I was having dinner."

"Oh really, did you try that new place we were talking about and please don't tell me you went out and had dinner on your own when there is a perfectly fine wri..."

"Ah no. I had dinner at Castles." Beckett practically yelled interrupting the ME and soon to be ex best friend.

"Really."

Beckett hung her head down she knew that tone, she had a feeling this was going to be a spank the monkey moment.

"So you had dinner AT Castles, please tell me you HAD Castle for dessert."

Becketts head came up and her jaw hung down. Oh no, she did not just say that. She turned to Alexis who was smiling at her with a cheeky expectant smile. Beckett covered her face with her hands and then hung her head back down. Oh Lanie was so dead.

"No we had chocolate ice cream." The red head offered up; when the Detective was suspiciously quiet.

Beckett looked up and saw Lanie poke her head out of the bathroom. She had on jeans, a bra and a curling wand in her hair.

"Alexis hi, I didn't realise you were here. I thought we were picking you up on the way through."

"Dad organised car for us to use." Alexis informed her.

Lanie smiled and nodded before ducking back into the bathroom.

"So dinner huh?"

Beckett wasn't sure if she was addressing herself or Alexis.

"Yeah Dad and Kate cooked, then we watched Seinfeld for a few hours. It was fun."

"Fun, huh. Not the kind of evening I was hoping for our dear detective here."

"Well while watching Seinfeld, Dad and Kate were canoodling on the couch."

Beckett turned to Alexis. "We were not canoodling on the couch."

Beckett was subjected to an eye roll. She was getting an eye roll from Castles daughter. As if!

"Come on Kate the two of you were cuddling under the blanket. I may be young but I am not stupid"

Beckett gasped. "You gave us one blanket and it was small, we were sitting close together so we could fit under it."

"Blanket!" Lanie walked in pulling a cardigan over the top she had put on. "It wasn't that cold last night, why were you under a blanket."

"Exactly" Alexis said standing up and walking over to stand next to Lanie. Beckett looked at the two women staring down at her. Maybe shopping with Alexis and Laine was a bad idea, very bad.

"You gave us the blanket" Beckett challenged. "Besides nothing happened" Standing up she walked towards the door wanting to end this conversation. She hadn't lied exactly, nothing had happened on the couch apart from a bit of cuddling. Cuddling not canoodling, whatever canoodling was and ok so she had placed her hand on castles thigh and he held it there but that was it. Well not completely it. Beckett hadn't explained to Lanie about her nightly habits, she didn't need to grief. Well not exactly grief from Lanie more questions she didn't know the answers to. Although after what she did to Castle she realised she may have to speak to her friend about recommending a good doctor. She couldn't keep going on like this. Not that she minded sleeping in Castles bed; it was very soft and comfortable. It also came complete with a very warm and comfortable sleeping companion and he didn't seem to be hating it either. Beckett got to the door and turned to look at her two shopping companions.

"Clothes aren't going to buy themselves."

Alexis flicked through the rack of clothe before her, nothing really appealing. The clothes were mainly aimed at Kate; she needed a few extra work and casual clothes. The morning had been devoted to finding her a dress for Paiges red carpet birthday party. Paige was going all out with an actual red carpet and a backdrop with her name printed all over it for people to pose in front of it. She was even organising a videographer, photographer and getting her cousin to run around all night acting like a reporter asking who was wearing who. Well Paige was going to be disappointed because she wasn't going to be wearing anyone famous. Weeks ago she had gone with Paige and there other friends to find dresses but she hadn't bought anything. Her friends seemed content plucking dresses off the rack not even checking the price. Sure her Dad encouraged her to spend but she didn't see the point in spending all that money on a dress she was probably only going to wear once. Kate and Lanie had seemed sympathetic to her and Lanie had instructed the driver to take them to a little boutique. She enjoyed being pushed into the dressing room by the two woman and handed dress after dress. Although she often went shopping with her mother, in fact that was the only thing they did together, her mother often gave her clothes to try on that were more suited to herself rather than a 17 year old. It wasn't the same with Kate and Lanie. No dresses were passed through the curtain that were backless, had plunging necklines or shorter than the underwear she wore when she was on her period. In the end she settled on a dark blue strapless dress that ended just above her knee. It wasn't skimpy or revealing yet she felt incredible in it. She was sure even her dad would approve. Not to mention the price was very reasonable. The boutique wasn't a place she was going to take her friends, they would honestly snub their nose up at it, but she already knew she would be going back there the next time her dad needed a date for a gala. Although she hoped Kate would be taking that place very soon.

"Hey Alexis, Kates got like ten shirts that look identical and she is going to go try them on. There is a couch in the dressing room want to go sit. Alexis sighed in relief, her feet were killing her. Alexis flopped down on the couch next to Lanie.

"So have you had a good day today?"

"Yeah, it's been really great, thanks for showing me that place."

Lanie nodded while keeping an eye on the dressing room.

"Alright kid, now we are alone. Tell me the truth, is there anything going on between Kate and your dad."

Alexis looked towards the curtain where Kate was changing and then back at Lanie.

"Mentally yes, physically no, I don't think so."

Lanie frowned and crossed her arms and leaned back.

"That's one way to describe their relationship, mental."

Beckett walked out the change room and showed the two women sitting on the couch her outfit. Lanie waved her off.

"Don't you have like an identical outfit?"

Beckett looked down at her grey pants and black shirt and realised she was right; she turned and stomped back into the dressing room.

Alexis held up her phone to show Lanie the picture she had taken the night before when the pair had been cooking.

"I think they are getting closer though"

Lanie looked over at the picture and smiled.

"Maybe last night wasn't a total right off."

"Oh check out this picture Gram took when we were in the Hampton."

Alexis flipped through her phone until she found the picture of her father giving Kate a piggy back ride on the beach. As she went to show Lanie the picture Kate walked out of the dressing room so she pulled her phone back quickly. Kate looked at her.

"What are you showing Lanie?"

Alexis bit her lip and looked at her phone.

"Oh, Dad doing his victory dance."

Beckett nodded and then held her hands out to get there opinion on the outfit she had just changed into.

"Pants are great, shirt is a bit boring."

As Kate turned Alexis leaned over and showed Lanie the picture. The womans eyes opened up wide.

"She told me nothing happened on the trip."

Alexis shrugged. "Like I said, I think it's more of a mental thing than physical. I think they are getting closer but haven't done anything major yet."

"Yet, as in you think they will?"

Alexis shrugged.

"Ok what do you think about this."

Lanie and Alexis turned to see Kate wearing skin tight blue jeans and a very tailored red shirt.

"I know, I know, I have a similar outfit, but the shirt is different and I need more jeans."

"Damm girl you look hot."

Alexis nodded. "My Dad loves it when you wear red."

Beckett looked herself over in the mirror before turning registering what Alexis had said. Castle liked her in red. He had bought her a red dress to wear when they went undercover looking for the jewel thief. When they had the photo shoot he had said she looked amazing and she was wearing red then. Beckett took another look at herself in the mirror before heading back into the dressing room.

"I think I'll get these" she yelled out to the two women behind her.

Lanie looked over at Alexis. "Ok something is defintly going on. The old Kate would have ripped that shirt off her body so quick after hearing Castle liked her in red. This new Kate is very interesting. How do you feel about all this by the way?"

Alexis looked at Lanie surprised.

"You're actually asking me if I am ok with Dad and Kate getting together."

"Well yeah I mean if things go the way we are all hoping they will, Kate could very well be your step mother. How would feel about that."

Alexis smiled. "I'll admit there have been some hideous woman in my dad's life and some that have been ok and I haven't minded. The thing is they all try and force me to like them so they can impress dad. You know they will try and pretend to be a mother to me, or a sister or a friend. Kate is different, she doesn't pretend to be anything of things and yet she still is. I like Kate, I really do and I think she is good for my dad."

"But"

"Gram says they have the potential to hurt each other and that worries me, for the both of them."

Lanie nodded. "As smart as they both are, they are both equally stupid."

Alexis nodded.

"Hey girls, I'm going to buy these, where to next."

Beckett looked at the woman sitting on the couch; they were both looking at her expectantly.

"What?"

The two women looked up at her and smiled.

"Nothing" they answered in unison.

Authors Note: ok so not the best of chapters but I felt we needed a bit of Lanie and also Alexis telling us how she felt about the relationship.

Ok so I was meant to be writing today but it's been awhile since I saw my cousin and goddaughter so I went out with them today to a craft fair. I promised I would not go on the internet tonight and read or rewatch last weeks Castle until this chapter was written and half of the next one was. Well I walked into the hall and within two minutes I see a stall called Serenity glen. I was like no way. About two hours later I was looking at these scrapbooking words that were made out of diamontes and guess what word I saw. _Always. _ I immediately got all giddy and I swear my heart stopped. I flicked past it and kept reading the other words like. I do , family ,best friends. I was like no way. then always came up again and I was like I have to buy it, I'll never use it but it can go with the rest of my tv show memorabilia.

Isn't it freaky when your meant to be writing and you see Castle related stuff ahhhhhh


	16. Chapter 16

Aint no mountain high enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett unlocked the door to her apartment and winced when the bright light hit her. It had become routine to leave on all the lights in the apartment to make it feel welcoming. It didn't work. The place felt almost foreign to her. She hadn't really made an effort to make this place feel homey. After her apartment had blown up she had taken the first thing that was available, thinking she would find somewhere better, not that she had ever really looked though. Her heart wasn't in it. It was as if she knew that no place would ever feel like home, so why bother looking. In fact the only place where she ever really felt comfortable was. No she wouldn't go there. It was too late at night, or rather to early in the morning to be thinking of things so deep. She had been up for way to long but it had been worth it. At 4 o'clock she had gotten a call. It was her day off but Kapowskis team had all come down with food poisoning thanks to some bad chicken they all had for lunch. So despite her day off she had gone in. She didn't really mind, she had a great time that day. Most of the day had been spent with Lanie and Alexis shopping and chatting and laughing. Alexis and Lanie seemed to have bonded and it worried Beckett over what? Neither of them had said anything but she was just waiting for them to pounce on her. That seemed like years ago now.

Beckett walked into her bedroom and looked at the shopping bags in one corner. She had quickly thrown them there after Alexis had dropped her off so she could change for work. It had been ages since she had done some decent shopping and she was looking forward to going again soon with, Lanie and Alexis of course. Beckett looked towards her bed and groaned, that wasn't something she as looking forward to. A night of tossing and turning in her bed not getting any sleep and becoming more and more restless. She looked at her wrist, it was an ungodly but Castle had given her his keys. She could sneak into his loft and get the sleep she needed. The only trouble was in a few hours everyone in the house would be up and she didn't want to explain to Alexis why she was sleeping in her fathers bed. Now she thought about it, it would be worse trying to explain to Martha.

Beckett closed her eyes and took a deep breath as her bottom lip trembled. What was wrong with her, why couldn't she sleep here?. Maybe she should move. What if it didn't make any difference?. Why was it she could sleep at Castles house, in his bed, but not here. Beckett heard her cell ring and she opened her eyes and screamed. No this was not happening, she was not going back to work. She was going to sleep even if she had to stand on her head. Pulling her cell out and gasped when she saw Castles name and smiling face appear on her screen. When had he taken that photo and changed it on her cell.

"Were your ears burning?"

"No. Why?"

"I was just thinking about you."

"Really."

Beckett heard the playfulness in his voice and could imagine him raising his eyebrows. The thought brought a smile to her lips which had only moments earlier been trembling. She immediately felt calmer. This is what she needed.

"Actually I was thinking about your bed?"

"Even better."

Beckett threw herself on her bed.

"I'm exhausted Castle."

"I figured you would be but I am guessing because of the time you won't be coming over."

Beckett rolled over and stared at the ceiling.

"I was going to but I figured the sun and your family would be up soon. Hey speaking of up, why are you."

"I got stuck writing, only just realised how late it was. I took a chance that you would be finished work by now. You are finished aren't you?."

"Yeah I'm at..." Home! Did she even consider this place that. It was more of a hotel. A place you came to shower, sleep a few hours and then go back out again. Except she wasn't even getting sleep. "I am in my room on my bed, not sleeping. But you already knew that."

A thought crossed her mind. Why had he called? He said he was up writing and figured she was up so he called, but why? He didn't sound in distress, in fact he had been joking with her.

"So umm hey why did you call, did you need anything, is everything ok?"

She waited for Castle to reply but he didn't, the silence worried her.

"Castle."

"Ahh I just wanted to make sure you actually went home. Looks its late. I'll go."

Beckett heard the phone go deathly silent.

"Castle?"

Beckett pulled back the Cell and looked at it. He hung up on her, Castle hung up. She couldn't believe it. Beckett sat forward on her bed. He hung up on HER. No way was she letting him get away with that. Selecting 1 on her speed dial Beckett waited for Castle to answer.

"I shouldn't have called. Just try to get some sleep Beckett."

What! No hello, how are you? Just, I shouldn't have called.

"We both know that's not going to happen anytime soon. Why did you call Castle?"

She heard him sigh and waited nervously wondering if he was going to hang up on her again.

"Beckett just drop it ok."

Oh it was so different from this side of the river. He expected her to drop it when he never did. He kept poking and prodding until she eventually revealed what was wrong. Now that she thought about it he was actually a good integrator, at least when it came to her.

"Would you drop it?." She asked him.

She was met with silence again.

"Castle."

"Ok, ok. Now I can see why you get so annoyed with me. I am surprised you haven't shot me yet."

"I can tell you it hasn't been easy Castle but in the end, I know your heart is in the right place."

"Thank you Beckett. It nice to know you realise the motivation behind my annoying ways. It means a lot to hear you say that."

"It means alot that you care enough to not let it drop. Although there are sometimes I wish you would. However revealing what was wrong has helped, as much as it pains me to say that."

She heard him laugh.

"So you expect me to drop it sometimes but you won't drop it tonight?"

"Right." Ok so it wasn't logical but she wanted to know why he called. She wasn't sure why she wanted to know so badly but she did.

"Alright but remember my heart was in the right place."

Beckett sat there and waited for him, it couldn't be that bad. Could it?

"I rang because I was concerned that you wouldn't be able to sleep. I know you got up early to leave my place, you spent all day shopping with my daughter and then you had to go to work. You're exhausted and I want to do something to help. If push comes to shove I can come and get you and you can sleep on my couch. Or I can sleep on the couch and you can stay in my bed. I'll tell Alexis and mother that you came by after you finished work to talk to me about a case. You were too tired to go home, so I insisted you stay. It's a believable story."

Beckett was tempted, real tempted.

"However I know you hate the fact your dependant on my place to sleep so I thought I'd try help you sleep at your place. I've been doing some research on sleep. Nothing mind blowing, just about how to get comfortable, home remedies that sort of thing. I'll email to you to read later, not much you can do right now except make sure your room isn't to bright or warm. I thought once we got you set up I could just talk to you, you know bore you so much that you eventually fall asleep. I know that sounds stupid right."

Beckett couldn't believe what she was hearing! Richard Castle, playboy extraordinaire, was trying to help her NOT sleep in his bed. Ok, ok so she knew he wasn't a playboy, at least not anymore. So she really shouldn't be surprised by it, but she was. He had done research on sleeping, Research! For her! He probably hadn't gotten up all that early but it was still late and he was willing to stay up even later to ensure she got to sleep. What this guy was willing to do for her was unbelievable.

"See I told you it was stupid."

"No." Beckett practically yelled. She didn't want him hanging up on her again. He wanted to help her sleep. She had accepted his other offers it would be rude not to accept this one. At least that's what she told herself.

"It's sweet. I'd love for you to bore me to sleep."

Castle laughed. "Ok then, if you sure. Now you need to make sure your comfortable. No bright lights, not to warm in your room and sleep in something comfortable."

Beckett looked around her bedroom.

"Ahh there may be a problem with that."

"Why's that."

Beckett sighed. Friends told friends there problems, that's what he told her. He was willing to give up sleep she had to be willing to give up dignity.

"I don't know why but since we were stuck in the freezer I haven't been able to sleep in the dark. Now that's what's stupid. It not like it was dark in there but I don't know, I just somehow feel safer with lights on."

"But you sleep at my house in the dark."

"Not really. You have that night light plugged in right next to the sink. It cast a nice bluish glow over your bedroom. Besides if I ever got scared your there."

"I'm always there Beckett, I am just a phone call away remember. Anyway tonight why don't you try leaving on lights in the rest of your place except the one in your room. Close your door slightly so you can still see if you wake up. Sleep with you phone on your pillow and ill do the same. That way if you get scared hug your pillow and talk to me, it will be like I am there. "

It wouldn't be but Becketts heart clenched at his suggestion.

"Ok I will. By the way why do you have a night light?"

Beckett walked over to the light and switched it off, she then turned back to her bed. As much as she hated it, she knew that's where she was going to be spending the night.

"Its a long story."

"Hey I've got all night."

Pulling back the covers Beckett spied her black sweats she used as pyjamas, they weren't Castles but she had to deal with that too.

"Well it was just after I got divorced from Gina. I decided to get a new bed and I got bedside tables and chest of drawers to match. I put it in the exact same space as the old stuff, but obviously it was slightly bigger. Although I didn't realise that until I woke up in the middle of the night desperately needing to pee and I ran straight into the bedside tables."

"Ouch"

Beckett tapped her phone onto loud speaker and dropped it on the bed.

"Oh you have no idea, I told you it was a long story."

Beckett started undoing her work shirt.

"Go on."

"Well I hit my shin pretty hard, so I started jumping up and down rubbing it. That's when I stumbled on my clothes I left on the floor."

"Oh no" Beckett took off her shirt and replaced it with her pyjamas top.

"Oh yes. I fell backwards arms flailing and slammed my right wrist onto my new chest of drawers."

Beckett eyes widened as she drew her pants down her legs. "Did you brake it?"

"Oh yep. Six weeks in a cast and I had a book to finish. Do you know how hard it is to type with your left hand a pencil in your right?"

"Oh I bet Gina wasn't happy with you."

Beckett climbed into bed and pulled the covers up around her.

"Gina, Alexis, my mother. I was right on top of the naughty list."

Beckett tapped her cell to take it off loud speaker.

"Poor you."

"Hey your voice changed."

Beckett frowned. "What?"

"You voice changed. It was normal then it went echoy then normal again."

"Oh I had it on loud speaker"

"Why did you have it on loud speaker?."

"I was changing."

Beckett heard Castle gasp.

"You were just naked while you were talking to me. We so have to Skype."

Beckett laughed.

"I was wearing underwear, Castle." Well ok so she took off her bra but why torture him.

"Something black and sexy?"

"Nope, plain cotton granny panties and a bra that's seen better days. Sorry to disappoint."

"Not disappointed, Miss Beckett, far from it. It's taken me awhile but I finally got you to tell me what underwear you have on."

Beckett rolled her eyes.

"So how exactly is this supposed to be helping me sleep?"

Castle laughed and Beckett smiled. His laughter was soon becoming one of her favourite sounds. How weird was that, who had a favourite sound. Now that she thought about it, it sounded like an answer to one of those friendship emails she had received from Castle, then Laine, then Esposito and Ryan too. You received the email with your friends answers in it then you're expected to write your own and send it back to who sent it to you. It was filled with different and sometimes unusual questions. If your house were on fire what would you take? What's your favourite flower?. When was the last time you cried. Beckett smiled. The only thing she remembered from anyones email was Castles response to favourite flower. Self raising!

"So did you have a good time shopping today?"

Ok that was more like it.

"Yeah it was great. You have an amazing daughter."

Castle laughed. "Yeah I do, and she had a great time today too. I swear she talked nonstop for an hour, I couldn't even get a word in."

"That must have almost killed you."

"I know right. Thank you for helping her pick out that dress by the way. I see some of the things her friends are wearing and I get a little worried, she is still my little baby."

It was easy to see how much Castle loved his daughter. He had been asking her for more advice recently on how to deal with Alexis. It must be hard for him dealing with all of it on his own. Not that Alexis was trouble but she would be leaving the nest soon and that had to be a hard thing to imagine.

"I'm glad you approve."

"Oh I didn't say I approve. She looks so sophisticated and very beautiful. I am going to start packing a shot gun as a warning."

"You don't have to worry Castle, Alexis asked me about some self defence classes for herself and friends."

"Why? Did something happen."

Beckett felt guilty for making Castle worry.

"No, no nothing like that. At a sleep over they were watching some cop show and this girl got attacked, Alexis and her friends thought it would be a good idea to learn some moves. She asked if I could recommend some places to go."

"Whatever the cost, I'll pay, for all the girls."

That's what she loved about Castle. He was so generous, always willing to help others out. Wait did she say love, she meant liked, she liked that about him. Yes most definitely liked.

"Well I actually thought I'd teach them, at your place. That way they can be comfortable and ask questions and actually learn something , more one on one care."

"That's really nice."

"I'm glad to help."

There was silence for almost a minute.

"So it's meant to rain tomorrow."

Beckett laughed.

"Out of conversation topics already." She was actually feeling pretty tired. Maybe talking to Castle and hearing his laugh relaxed her enough.

"Well I only want to bore you to sleep not bore you to death. How about if I read to you?."

Beckett smiled. "It's not necessary Castle."

"Ok so what book would you like me to read?"

"Castle."

"Ok , I'll chose."

"Heat Wave" she fired back at him.

"Seriously, wow I was going to suggest the latest Patterson."

"That would seem sacrilegious."

"Oh I agree. Now let's see, I know I have a copy here."

Beckett lay there almost nervously. Richard Castle was going to read her one of his book. She felt like getting up and jumping on her bed like a teenager. Richard Castle was going to read to her. Ahhhhhh. She couldn't believe it was happening. It was one thing to sit in a crowd and here him read a small segment but to have him read to her so she could sleep. Wow. She didn't think there were many people out there who could say Richard Castle read them a bed time story.

"Ok here we go. Ready."

"Bring it on."

"It was always the same for her when she arrived to meet the body."

Authors note: hey everyone how's it going. So I noticed some stories do a bit of a recap of the previous chapter and then start on a new one just to help remind you what's been going on. I find this useful for stories that have a long time between updates. I was wondering if people wanted me to do this. I know most chapters aren't super long and I update pretty regularly every week but let me know. Yes you want a recap at the beginning or No you don't.

As always I really love seeing my inbox filled with reviews. It's a good thing you guys can't see me otherwise you would be laughing at me dancing every time I read a review.


	17. Chapter 17

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. After a long day of shopping and an even longer day at work Beckett is tired and exhausted. The last thing she wants to do is NOT sleep at her place but with is being so late she knows it's her only choice. Luckily for her a certain mystery writer we all know and love anticipated her sleeplessness and calls so he can read her a bedime story. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Beckett stood outside the precinct staring up at the pouring rain. She calculated the distance between her car and where she was and then decided it didn't matter. She was already soaked through and had been for hours. It had started to rain just as they were leaving a crime scene. Her car had been parked so far away that by the time she reached it, she was soaked through and looked like a drowned rat. She had intended to change once she got back to the precinct. At least that had been the plan. Things had come up and she hadn't gotten around to it, which now worked in her favour as she stepped out into the rain and walked to her car. As strange as it was the rain was almost soothing. She climbed into her car, placed her hands on the steering wheel and groaned, she was tired, real tired. Exhausted, beat, done in, worn out, bushed, even a good old Australian buggered. She was all of them and more.

Castle talking to her the night before had helped, some. She had fallen asleep eventually and had stayed that way until it was time to wake up but it wasn't a restful sleep. Not like the kind of sleep she got when she slept at Castles loft, in his bed, wrapped in his arms. Beckett started the car and made her way to her apartment. She was cold, wet and tired. Thankfully due to the time of night and the bad weather the roads were clear and she made it in record time. Staring up at her apartment Becketts face dropped. Even through she had driven here it really wasn't the place where she wanted to be. Beckett slammed her hands against the steering wheel like a two year old having a tantrum. What choice did she have though?

Castle.

She had Castle.

Beckett ran her hands through her hair. She should just grow up. Grow up, climb into her bed, shut her eyes and sleep. Simple! Glancing up at her apartment Becketts lips tightened. She could do it, she could. Just grow a set, she told herself. Looking up at her place she felt so cold, deathly cold and not from her wet clothes. Beckett took a few deep breaths. Tomorrow! Tomorrow she would grow up. Tomorrow. Tonight she wanted blissful sleep. She wanted to wake up and feel refreshed not worse than before she went to sleep. There was no way she was letting what happened the other day to happen again. Never.

One problem, she was exhausted.

What was so stupid, was that she couldn't sleep in her bed but she knew if she turned her car back on and tried to drive she would probably fall asleep. Or at least have an accident because her brain wouldn't be functioning properly. She made her mind up. She would go upstairs, have a shower, change and then she would catch a taxi. Reaching for the door handle a grumble of thunder stopped her from opening it. It was a loud cracking thunder that was followed by it raining harder.

Oh no this was so not happening.

Catching a taxi at this hour was going to be bad enough without a storm brewing. Beckett started to whimper. Why why why. She was willing going to his place, she hadn't even argued with herself over it, much. Maybe she should call him, see if he could come and pick her up. It was a lot to ask but it wasn't all that late and he did say to call if she ever needed anything. Except it did feel like a lot to ask. Possibly wake him up, ask him to leave his nice warm bed and family, so he could drive through what was looking to be a very serious storm, so she could sleep! She would feel like she was taking advantage of him. Beckett pulled out her phone, she was dammed if she did and dammed if she didn't. She looked at the time and bit her lip; she still needed to shower and change. Deciding to call once she got out of the shower Beckett climbed out of her car and into the storm. Making her way to her apartment Beckett put her hand into her bag and pulled out her keys .Except they weren't her keys, they were Castles. She gave a little smile and rolled them over her fingers before she dropped them back in and rummaged for her own. Inserting the keys Beckett opened the door took one step inside and froze. Not because she was cold but because she was warm. Placing her hand on her gun Beckett looked around her apartment and frowned, it wasn't brightly lit. She left the light on and the heating off when she left, she was sure of it. Now her apartment was dimly lit by three or four lamps scattered around the place. Beckett closed the door and walked further into her apartment, it actually felt inviting, something it had never felt. Becketts eyes landed on a vase full of flowers on her kitchen counter. What the hell, they had defintly not been there when she had left this morning. Josh? No wait he never had keys to her place. Another thought struck her, since when did she have lamps. When she had bought new furniture she had gone for big items, bed, couch, TV. Lamps were something you bought on a whim and she wasn't whimsical, but a certain mystery writer was. A smile broke out on her face as she walked towards the colourful flower arrangement. She leaned forward and smelled the flowers before pulling out the large folded piece of paper hidden amongst the foliage. Opening the note Beckett grinned at the familiar hand writing.

_Hey Beckett,_

_Don't worry some crazy person didn't break into your apartment; it was just me, the one and only Richard Castle. I know your probably thinking yes I am a crazy person._

Beckett couldn't help but smile and roll her eyes. Oh he knew her so well.

_However I didn't break in. I used my keys, which you're probably going to confiscate from me now but I think it was worth it. _

Becketts heart clenched. He risked her wrath so he could make her place seem more welcoming. Wow! And he kept saying that, it was worth it, she was worth it! It made her feel giddy.

_You once told me your place was cold, dark, empty, lonely that's why you couldn't sleep here. So I am working at rectifying that for you. I went grocery shopping so not only is your fridge full but your stomach will be too._

Ok it wasn't quite the full she was talking about but it didn't stop Beckett glancing towards the fridge. What culinary delights were in store for her? She knew Richard Castle would only provide the best. Beckett bit her lip and wondered if he had also stocked her freezer with that deliciously yummy chocolate ice-cream they had eaten in the Hamptons.

_I turned the heat on high so it's not cold. Although I know you meant more of a metaphorical cold, which is why I got you flowers. Hopefully they make this place seem less sterile. _

They did. When had she been given flowers?

_With all the lights blazing it's no wonder you can't get any sleep it was like Time Square in here. So I bought you the lamps, I hope they fit in with your décor._

Beckett scoffed. What décor?.

_So I've taken care of Cold. Dark. Empty. Now for the lonely. If you hadn't noticed yet, I'm asleep on your couch._

What! Beckett walked over to her couch and looked over the back. Sure enough, Castle was there. His hair was a little messy and he was dressed in jeans and a t shirt. A look she was beginning to love. The casual, laid back Castle and he was here. He was here so she wasn't lonely. He was here so she could sleep. Beckett looked at the note still in her hand.

_If you don't want me here, then just wake me up and I will go home. It doesn't matter what the time is, I will go. However if you want me to stay, ill see you in the morning._

_Your friend _

_Always_

_Castle_

Beckett looked at the man sleeping on her couch. She should wake him up, she should send him home, but she didn't want to. Was that wrong? He was already asleep, it would be cruel to wake him and send him home considering what he had done for her today. The storm was getting worse to. She rationalised. Nope he was staying and she was going to go and shower and get out of her wet clothes. Beckett walked into her bedroom and stopped when she saw her bed. Oh god he had made her bed, with clean linen! Not only that, but there was a pile of navy blue satin sitting on her pillow. Beckett walked over and picked up the incredibly soft satin. He had brought her pyjamas. There was a small note pinned to the lapel.

_Too much ?_

Yes it was too much but for once in her life she wanted to be greedy. She wanted to take everything the man in the next room offered. Right now that was warmth, security and she really didn't want to think about what else right now. Beckett took the clothing and walked into her bathroom to take a much needed shower. Beckett turned on the water and then quickly shed her wet clothing. Climbing into the shower Beckett jumped back when she felt the scalding water. Normally the water felt so cold to her that she had to turn it right up. Now it was too hot. Did that mean that she was getting better? Surly the little homey touches Castle made to her apartment hadn't fixed her. Up until recently she had been ok in her apartment, in her bed, in her shower. So what had changed to make her not ok and why was she feeling a little better now. Beckett didn't take her 3 minute shower like she had been doing recently, she took a whole ten minutes. It was as if she was too scared to go in there after what happened the night she took a shower after the terrorist attack. The whole sinking to the floor, slipping into the darkness incident, however she didn't need to worry about that tonight. That night she had gone running to Castles, tonight he was there, just outside her unlocked bathroom door. If the darkness started sweeping over her all she had to do was yell and he would come running.

After showering she slipped into her brand new pyjamas and lightly dried her hair. She walked back into her bedroom and looked at her bed, it did look more inviting then it had the night before. However Castle was sleeping in the next room. He was in jeans which couldn't be very comfortable and didn't even have a blanket on him. She wouldn't be a good host if she didn't at least check on him. Beckett padded her bare feet across the floor until she was standing in front of him. He looked so innocent lying there so still and quiet. Maybe innocent wasn't the right word, unusual possibly. Beckett walked over to the heater control and turned it down slightly before getting a blanket out of the cupboard. She fleetingly pondered the idea of waking him up and allowing him to sleep in her bed. The only problem with that she had a really large couch. The couch had been bought along with her bed and TV unit, after a long day at work. She had literally flopped onto the first couch she laid eyes and announced sold. It wasn't until she got home and went to sit on it that she realised the seat of the couch was way too long. The seat was almost as wide as a single bed which was good when you wanted to snuggle up and read a good book or watch a movie. It was bad when you had friends over, if you sat with you back against the back of the couch your feet dangled off like you were a five year old. It was super comfy though, Castle seemed quite content lying there on the couch. His legs were fully stretched out and he was laying half on his side, half on his back, leaving a little space on the couch. He was fine where he was, but she wasn't. Beckett looked towards her room and bit her lip. She should sleep there tonight, that why he was here after all, but her couch was very tempting. The couch, or the man sleeping on it.

There was space couch. 

Well not that much.

But enough.

She hoped.

No she couldn't.

Beckett covered Castle with the blanket but before her fingers could drop the material she was pulling it back. Why not, she thought. She had done far worse than this in the past few weeks sleeping on her couch with him was nothing. Beckett tried to manoeuvrer her body onto the couch without waking him but it wasn't easy. She had her legs and torso on and was using her left arm to push her upper body onto the couch. There wasn't quite enough room and she felt her body falling backwards off the couch. Suddenly she was no longer falling and was crushed against Castles chest. She felt him wiggle around until he was lying fully on his side and pulling her further onto the couch. Beckett looked at Castles face, he hadn't opened his eyes, he had just pulled her against him. Was he awake?, Was he asleep? She wasn't sure. Either way she decided this was a bad idea. She should just get up and go and sleep in her bed that was the whole point of him being here. Beckett lightly pushed against his chest to free herself from his grasp, but he held tight.

"Don't leave me."

Beckett was startled by the admission. Had she really heard him say that, he still had his eyes closed, maybe she had imagined it. Maybe she had thought that, she didn't want him to leave her. No she had clearly heard him say _Don't leave me. _It repeated over and over in her head, there was an almost desperation in the plea. While she had been acting all neurotic and crazy after the terrorist attack had he been suffering too? That first night when she had turned up at his place in the middle of the night and asked him to hold her, there had been something different about him. When he had put his arms around her it felt like he needed it as much as she did. Over time she had reasoned she was just making excuses for her actions, but what if she wasn't. What if his need to help her, was filling some need he had. She felt Castle move and pull her closer, his feet started playing with hers until he wedged one between her ankles. He bounced his head on the couch pillow a few times before finally settling in. Beckett stared at him, he was asleep she was sure of it. She brought her hand up and brushed his hair back off his forehead.

"Thank you" she whispered as she leaned in and kissed his lips. His lips only lightly responded. Beckett stroked his face before burrowing down and snuggling against his chest.

"What would I do without you?"

**Authors Note: Sorry for the short chapter but I hoped you liked the fluffiness. don't worry they serve a purpose in the story and in my life. Its short and fluffy for the same reason in my life. Its my birthday on Sunday and it's my sisters too, no I'm not a twin, sorry Lizzie. So I have spent all week texting both my sisters telling them what I want, but also asking one what she wants and the other what have you already got her. On top of that my birthdays always seem to suck. It's not like I have an idea of what a great birthday would be like, it just they always seem to disappoint. MMMMM.**

**Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to let me know what you think of not only this chapter but the story so far. Your thoughts on what you think might happen or not want to happen. **


	18. Chapter 18

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Previously on Aint no mountain high enough. Beckett comes home, well the place she comes to shower at least , to find Castle has gone all Martha Steward on her place. Even though her bed looks tempting, the writer sleeping on her couch is even more so.

"Good morning detective"

Beckett swam into consciousness at the sound of the authors voice. Why was she waking to his voice? Didn't she normally wake up and leave before they got to this stage. She tried to stretch but realised her body was pressed up against something. Something hard, yet soft and very cuddly. Opening her eyes she saw his smiling sleepy face staring at her. Beckett bit her lip at the realisation she was waking up with Castle for the first time.

"Morning Castle."

"Did you get a good sleep?"

Beckett smiled almost goofily. She had gotten the best sleep she had ever had, at least sleeping in her own apartment that was. The only way to describe sleeping in Castles bed was out of this world, but this came close, very close.

"The best, it's amazing what some lamps can do." She kidded with him.

Castle laughed. "Oh so the lamps are reason you look so rested."

Beckett sat up slightly and rested her head on her hand.

"Well, the pyjamas feel amazing too."

"I know" he told her running his hand that she didn't even realise was on her body, up and down her ribs.

Beckett smiled nervously; this was the proverbial morning after. So far she had managed to escape them all by needing to leave early so she could get ready for work. She had already showered and she was already at her place so there was no need to rush off and by the look he was in no rush either. He made no attempt to remove is hands and even though her brain said tell him to stop her mouth didn't follow its instructions. Numerous times they had shared a bed, had hugged, even kissed, yet this was something else. There was something almost intimate about his hands still lightly stroking her ribs. About the way they woke up in each other's arms snuggled tightly on her couch.

"So can I keep my keys?"

Beckett bit her lip, why did she give her keys to him again. She thought about it for a second. She had done it on the premise that she had his. The reason she had his was so she could go and sleep there if she wanted. So technically that was the reason he had hers and he had only really done what she had given him the keys for, to sleep. Wow Castles wacky brain was really rubbing off on her. Maybe she was spending too much time with him, or not enough. Either way the moment was just a bit too intense for her and she needed an out.

"That depends, are you going to make me breakfast."

He sat up excitably. "I bought you croissants. I also got cheese and ham to put in them and then ill toast it to a nice golden brown. Yummy greasy goodness."

Beckett laughed. "You will need a crane to get me out."

"Oh I don't know, you could do with some fattening up and being stuck in an apartment with you, doesn't sound all that bad to me." He raised his eyes brows suggestively at her.

Beckett lightly pushed at his chest to swat away his childish yet sexual facial expression. Removing the blanket Beckett stood up and moved towards the kitchen her shadow following as usual.

"You just stand there and look pretty, I'll do all the work."

Beckett leaned against the counter watching him puttering around her kitchen. He didn't know where anything was, so she enjoyed watching him opening and shutting cupboards before she finally stepped forwards and began to help him. Once she got out all the things he required the pair worked in unison to prepare breakfast. Beckett smiled at how almost choreographed it seemed, almost like they had been doing it for years. She stepped forward he stepped back. He cut open the croissants, she placed ham on them. He sprinkled them with cheese; she put them on an oven tray. He burned his hand putting them in the oven, she handed him a wet tea towel. It had been the same when they had made dinner together. It had a nice feeling about it, more than nice. Pleasant, normal, routine. A sensation she wouldn't mind feeling again and again and again. Some day.

Standing opposite each other in her small kitchen drinking coffee waiting for the croissants to brown, Castle eyed her over his coffee cup. He had been more than a little surprised when he found her satin clad body in his arms a few hours ago. His hands had already been on her body and he saw no reason to remove them. Instead he snuggled in deeper and fell asleep again. Even though he had stayed up late reading to Beckett two nights ago he had to be up early yesterday to finalise the last few details of his plan. Unfortunately he wasn't able to execute it, so he had settled with lamps, pyjamas and breakfast. Judging by Becketts reaction the temporary plan was still pretty effective. He had planned on being up when she got home so he could talk her to sleep again, this time in person but that too didn't go to plan when his eyes started drooping. He hoped his note would appease Beckett and judging by the fact that he woke up with her in his arms she was totally ok with what he did. She didn't have to sleep on the couch with him yet she chose to, which he hoped meant she was softening, he sure hoped so. He would accomplish what he needed to do today and hopefully that would work. She would feel safe about sleeping here. Once Beckett was no longer dependant on him then he would go in for the kill shot. A date. An official date. In the meantime he would settle for the unofficial dates there were currently participating in, and they weren't bad. Hopefully this would lay the ground work for their future life together.

"Castle, croissants are going to burn."

Castle practically dropped his coffee as he turned to the oven to retrieve their breakfast.

"So are you coming in today?"

"Ahh no." He looked at Beckett watching her reaction. Her shoulders dropped but her coffee covered her mouth so he couldn't see her expression. Dropping shoulders was good though, well not good but it meant she was disappointed.

"I have some things to do today."

"You're not following around another cop are you?"

Castle smiled as he handed her breakfast.

"Why, would you be jealous?"

Beckett bit into the cheesy goodness and groaned.

"Yep. I don't want to lose my bed partner."

Her eyes widened when she realised what she had said. Castle had also caught her slip as he was currently bent over choking on his croissant.

"I didn't mean it like that" she stammered. "I meant how you have been helping me sleep. Oh god." Beckett dropped her breakfast onto her plate and covered her face with her hands.

Castle took a few deep breaths. "Wow Beckett, you had me going there for a second. I knew I was tired last night but I didn't think I was so tired that I would forget us doing that."

Beckett lowered her hands and glared at Castle.

"Ha ha very funny."

Castle shrugged. "You brought it up. Besides you never have to worry about me not being here for you. No matter what happens, you're stuck with me Beckett."

He was with her until the end, that's what he was saying. When times get hard or tough he would still be there. No one in her life had given her that guarantee and if they had, she doubted she would believe them.

"That doesn't sound all that bad to me."

"So are you working on an interesting case at the moment?"

"Ah no we wrapped up a case today pretty quickly however our main suspects alibi was, well interesting."

"How so?"

"Well the case was a young woman who was strangled in her apartment. Her roommate told us she had only moved to New York a few months ago. She was in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend back home who turned up about two weeks ago. He decided to move here but apparently that didn't go down well with our vic they argued and broke up."

"So the disgruntled ex boyfriend came back, tried to get her to change her mind and when she said no. Bam. He kills her."

"Exactly what we thought."

"So what's so interesting about that, his alibi not check out or something?"

Beckett nodded.

"He said he was at his new apartment painting. Had his I pod on all night while he finished his place. Around the time of murder he said he took a break and went for a run. Said when he came back he spoke to his neighbour."

"Neighbour confirms it."

Beckett shook her head. "That's the thing she was at work and we confirmed that".

"That doesn't make sense. Why would he say he talked to a neighbour, why not say a stranger on his run."

Beckett nodded. "Exactly. So I had Esposito bring him in and go over his alibi again. I let him handle the interrogation he got all up in his face. Pretty much asks the same question. Why say he talked to his neighbour Lizzie Zentara when he didn't. Turns out he only talked to the woman for a few seconds. He didn't know her name or what her apartment number was, just that it was a few doors down from his. He then goes and describes exactly what she looks like and I mean in exact detail."

"Doesn't get her name but knows her measurements. Not too broken up about his break up."

Beckett shakes her head. "Anyway we go back to speak to the woman, she invites us into her apartment and there sitting on the couch is her identical twin sister Lil"

Castles eyes widened. "Twins, oh that is so cool. Wait was she like the evil twin sister, wear an eye patch."

"Well her sister thinks she is evil. Turns out Lil doesn't live there but has a spare key. The women are identical in everything including dress size. Lil knew her sister was at work and snuck in to borrow a dress for a date."

"So Lil was the one he spoke to."

"Yep."

"So he has an alibi."

"Yep. He wasn't the killer, in the end it was the roommate. Turns out they work together that's how they became roommates. She was new in town so the roommate introduced her to all her friends who took a real shine to her and that didn't go down well."

"So she killed her because she was stealing her friends."

Beckett shrugged. "Seems so."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"I can believe I missed our first twin case. Well I'll be back tomorrow."

"So you are following another cop, Ryan or Esposito."

Castle frowned.

"I'm not coming in tomorrow. I won't be able to get another Saturday for awhile so I'm taking tomorrow off."

"Oh." Castle was disappointed. He enjoyed spending his nights with Beckett, more than enjoyed it. He loved it. Waking up with her arms around him had been amazing. His arm was probably going to be bruised from him pinching himself over and over again. Yet he missed there day time interaction, missed them working together.

"So do you have any plans for your day off?"

Beckett shrugged.

"Oh I don't know. I thought I'd see how I sleep first, then maybe go for a run, read a good book. Just try and get my body to relax a bit."

He was tempted to suggest a few things she could do to relax but he didn't want to spoil the moment. Things were good and he wanted them to stay that way.

"Well if you want to have some fun on your day off you know who to call."

Damn that was eloquent. Call her boring as a way of asking for an unofficial date, smooth move Castle. Very smooth.

"I'm mean if you want some company, I'll probably be home pretending to write."

Beckett smiled, playing hooky with Castle. Well technically she did have the day off, but Castle was meant to be writing. So she knew spending the day with him when he was meant to be writing would be filled with fun and high jinks. Running through the city with paint ball guns came to mind, spending hours pretending to be lift operators. It wouldn't be a regular day off that was for sure.

"Thanks Castle. Can I let you know tomorrow?"

Castle looked at her; he thought for sure it would be a no, flat out. It was her day off after all. This day was making it's way to the top of his best day ever list.

"Well I need to get dressed."

"Right well I'll just clean up here."

Beckett went into her room and quickly changed and styled her hair. When she came back out into the room Castle had tidied up her place. Beckett got her gear together then stood there awkwardly. This is why she avoided the morning after. Did she kick him out, let him stay, what?

"Well I'll walk you out."

Together they walked out of her place and out onto the street to her car. Beckett leaned against it and smiled at him.

"Thanks for what you did last night Castle."

Castle put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Hey it's no big deal."

Beckett looked down at her hands and fidgeted with them. "It is a big deal Castle. I mean I know you said if I ever need anything to ask but that's the thing Castle, I didn't ask. You remembered a little insignificant conversation we had where I told you why my place creeps me out. I didn't ask, you remembered, and then you did something about it. Not many people would do something like that."

"See I'm not as selfish as you may think."

Beckett frowned at his little outburst.

"That's not what I meant Castle. I know you're not selfish."

"Yeah but you used to right?"

Beckett sighed, she couldn't lie to him. "Yeah I did when we first met, but I know now, I was wrong. I've changed a lot since then, but I think you have too."

Castle couldn't help the grin from appearing on his face. She was right, he had changed. Even he admitted he could be a real jack ass, yet she realised he wasn't that man anymore. If she wasn't standing right in front of him he would be doing a little happy dance. Although he was refraining from them after he had fallen in his kitchen after executing one the first night Beckett slept in his bed. Unless it was really really necessary.

"Thanks Beckett."

Beckett nodded and then took a deep breath.

"Bye Castle."

Beckett took a step forward and placed her hand on his cheek. She then leant forward and brushed her lips against his. Castle didn't have time to react before her lips left his. She turned quickly got in her car and drove away. Castle stood there frozen except for his bottom lip trembling. Beckett had kissed him, IN PUBLIC. Accident be dammed Castle was going to do a happy dance. Castle closed both fists and held them out in front of him as if he were holding an imaginary bike handle. He then began to do the shuffle. Oh yeah he rocked. After a few moves he stopped because people were staring at him. Castle straightened his clothes before walking off with a skip in his step.

In a car not too far away two men sat in a car with their mouths hanging open. Even though both men were detectives neither of them could figure out what they had just seen.

"Did Castle just."

"Dance."

"Yeah. Did Beckett just."

"Kiss Castle"

"Yeah"

The two detectives looked at each other.

"Did we know about this?"

"About Castles moves, yeah I knew he could shuffle"

Ryan pushed Esposito. "I meant about Castle and Beckett. Its like 7 am and he's leaving her apartment and she kissed him. Surly that means they hooked up."

"There friends maybe he just slept over."

"Oh right he just slept over and they didn't do anything."

"A male and female can be friends without having sex."

"Like you and Lanie" Ryan offered.

"So you're telling me you hooked up with Beckett.?" Esposito smiled at Ryan, victory.

"Well no, but how can you be so sure."

Esposito held up his phone.

"Don't you think if something happened between those two Lanie would be calling me asap."

Ryan nodded he had a point.

"So from now on we don't come past Becketts place on the way to a crime scene, we call first"

Esposito held up his fist and the two fist bumped.

Authors Note: hey all sorry update is a little bit later than usual. Finally moved a bunch of junk out of our house into our garage, then moved our Christmas tree out of the garage and put it up. Yeah it looks so awesome. I have lived here for 5 Christmas' and this is the first year I've been able to put a tree up.

Now with the silly season approaching my updates might be a bit slower over the next few weeks but then I'll get some time off work so hopefully ill be able to write more.

I have also entered the Castle Secret Santa here on Fanfiction. You write someone a gift instead of buying one. I won't get my person until the end of the week and then I only have a like 20 days to get it written up and published. Go and join the fun. Search for the story called. Secret Santa 2011 or Author. BensonNYPD. It sounds like it will be a lot of fun so come on and join the party. Who knows if you really like my story I might get to be your secret Santa and write special story just for you

Hey lizzie I hope you don't mind I added you into my story. I thought you might like the little twist. For those who don't know Little Lizzie Zentara is in my opinion the best reviewer on here. If it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't have decided to keep on writing and even begun writing this story. So thank you.


	19. Chapter 19

_Previously on Anit No Mountain High Enough. Castle and Beckett wake after spending the night snuggling on the couch. The pair share a morning of domesticity before sharing a goodbye kiss on the street. Unknowingly in front of two of our favourite detectives. _

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett drove towards her apartment with a smile on her face, a very unusual occurrence. The fact was she had a good day at work. Yes there had been a murder and so far the killer hadn't been caught but apart from that, things were good. It was amazing how a restful sleep and breakfast could change the days outlook. Even Ryan and Espositos strange looks and antics hadn't dulled her cheerfulness. Or maybe it was the fact that numerous times throughout the day she was injected with a new dose of happiness.

Castle may not have physically been at the precinct that day but he was there in spirit. Well technically it was in the form of a photo delivered to the precinct with coffee and pastries for the three of them. That and text messages. After she had left Castle standing in front of her apartment she received a call from Ryan about a case. She had driven directly to the crime scene and assessed the situation before retiring to the precinct to go over the case. Within the hour the delivery guy had arrived with their package. Ryan had taken the picture immediately and placed it on their murder bored under suspects. Beckett had joined in the laughter and taken a picture that she quickly sent off to Castle who enjoyed a chuckle too. She then removed the picture and placed it on Castles chair; she didn't like the idea of Castle as a suspect. The picture then began to magically move around the precinct. It had been found in the break room freezer, Montgomerys chair and even the ladies restroom. It had certainty been a surprise to come out of the cubicle to see Castle smiling at her, although not as big of a surprise Ryan got when he opened his desk drawer. The antics hadn't stopped there; Castle had obviously been board and was avoiding writing. He kept sending her cute little texts with riddles in them.

'_Romeo and Juliet are lying dead on the floor. There is broken glass and water on the floor, the window is open, how did they die?_

She really should have been working on the case but they had no leads and the little breaks couldn't hurt. So she replied back.

_Suffocation! _

_Romeo and Juliet are gold fish, the window flew open and knocked their tank on the ground and it smashed._

Hours later he had sent another one.

_A man is lying dead in an empty paddock with a back pack on, there are no visible signs of trauma, how did he die?_

She had heard this one numerous times over the years and knew the answer, but also knew the answer was wrong.

_The answer is the back pack was a parachute that wouldn't open, however you have been investigating murders for long enough to know that if he fell out of a plane he would have gone splat. _

The other texts hadn't been so complex. Beckett pulled up at her apartment and got out of her car. She walked towards her apartment with a bounce in her step. It was late and she was feeling a little tired, but the thought of going to her apartment hadn't been what caused her late night. She had wanted to get as much done before her day off tomorrow. Now that she was at her door she smiled at the lack of fear that was running through her. She would go inside put on her pyjamas that Castle had bought for her. Slip between the sheets he had so lovingly placed on her bed and fall into blissful sleep thanks to Castle.

Inserting her keys and opening the door a smile grew on her face, her lights were on and so was the heat. She had left them off this time, so she knew that Castle had been there.

"Castle I'm home." Beckett laughed at how not strange it sounded. She shut the door and put her bag down and then began to look for the writer. Glancing around the room she stopped dead, she found the writer. Once again he wasn't there physically but he was there in photograph. Not just one photograph and not just Castle, but Lanie, Ryan, Esposito, and even the captain. Beckett walked towards the wall in her apartment that was now covered in photographs. At first glance it looked 40 something separate black photo frames were attached to her wall. Once she got closer she saw that the different size frames positioned in both portrait and landscape were in fact joined together. She hoped attached to the wall with more than one hook. Beckett skimmed over the photos before looking around the room. There was a picture on her coffee table of her parents that wasn't there before as well as two large portrait frames on the wall near her bedroom. Making her way over to them a smile broke out on her face, or maybe it had already been there. Both photos were almost life size and filed her with joy just looking at them. The first photo was a picture of herself and Lanie holding each other and smiling, it had been taken in the break room at the precinct. Her gaze then turned towards the other picture and she couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. The three men she trusted with her life were currently in what would forever be called the 'Charlies Angles pose'. Castle stood in the middle with his hands clasped together creating a classic fake gun. He had one eye brow raised and a smile that made her quiver. Esposito stood to Castles right, his back towards Castles side. In his hand was his real gun and his expression read, I'm a bad ass, don't mess with me. The funniest of them all was Ryan; obviously he hadn't been told they were going for the sexy bad ass look. Although he held his gun he had more of an opened mouth shocked look on his face. Beckett turned towards her bedroom and wondered if he had ventured in there. Opening the door she gingerly took a step inside and her eyes immediately locked onto the photo frame on her bedside table. She practically raced to photo and snatched it up. It was a photo of her parents, but one she had never seen before. Beckett slowly sat on her bed and took a hand and lightly stroked her mother's face.

"Hi mommy."

Her parents looked so happy in the photo. Beckett turned and brought her legs up on the bed and rested her back against the headboard. The photo looked as though it was taken just before her mother had died and she briefly wondered how Castle had gotten it. He had called her father he had to have. He called her father and organised a photo shoot at the precinct for her. To make her feel at home in her home. So she wasn't lonely anymore. To make her feel warm and happy and safe and most importantly loved. Beckett closed her eyes as a tear ran down her cheek. She turned her head so the tear wouldn't drop on the picture frame when she noticed an identical frame on the other side of the bed. Placing her mother and father back Beckett rolled on her bed and grabbed for the frame. Two pictures on a green background littered with gold butterflies and swirly patterns were held inside. In between the two pictures were six hand written letters. Family. The picture on the left held the gang from the precinct. Beckett remembered when this photo was taken; it had been one of the many candid shots of the day. Or not so candid considering the rest of the gang seemed to be in on it. Castle was sitting in her chair, something she hated, while Ryan lounged behind him. The captain was standing behind the desk, while Esposito sat on the edge of it Lanie standing between his splayed legs. When she had come upon the situation she had stood in front of Castle and demanded he get out of her chair, he had responded by grabbing her by the hips and pulling her into his lap. Legs and arms had flown in every direction and then she had heard the photographer utter the words smile. She had been shocked at first and had tried to struggle out of the chair but hearing everyone else chuckle had calmed her. In the photo in her hand she was half lying in Castles lap. One arm wrapped around Castles shoulder the other resting on his arm that was around his waist. One leg had been kicked up, her head was thrown back and she was laughing. It was a great photo and she was glad he had placed it in her bedroom along with the other photo, of his family. The photo must have been taken a few years ago, Castles hair was shorter, Marthas was much longer and Alexis looked younger. Her gaze lingered over the words again. Family. Her heart clenched as another tear rolled down her cheek. The man staring up at her was incredible and she had to tell him. Beckett felt for her cell in her pocket but realised it was in her bag. Placing the picture down Beckett ran from her room wiping the tears away as she went. Walking past the smiling faces of her loved ones Beckett scooped her bag up and grabbed her cell. She tapped it and frowned when she saw four missed calls from Castle. What the. She cleared the missed calls and saw the five messages also from Castle.

_Hey have you left work yet?_

_Call me when you get home?_

_Beckett please don't be angry at me._

_If you're angry I understand but please let me know._

_I'm coming over._

Dam she had left it on silent. After one too many looks from Ryan and Esposito she had put her phone on silent but had left it on her desk, that way she could inconspicuously answer Castles texts. Sure she could have just told Castle to stop texting her but she didn't want to. Beckett tapped her phone to call Castle just as she heard a knock at the door. She walked towards the door and then frowned as she heard music playing. Was that Enrique Iglesias Hero. Beckett flung open the door to reveal Castle fumbling for his phone.

"Castle"

Castle looked up at Beckett standing in her doorway.

"Oh Beckett thank god."

Castle walked past her and into her apartment.

"Look Beckett, I am sorry ok."

Beckett closed the door and put her cell on the counter.

"I know you said I could keep your keys."

"Castle"

"But this wasn't the reason, I know."

"Castle."

"I just wanted you to know you always have people around to care for you."

Did this guy ever shut up?

"But if you hate it i'll get rid of it straight away and you can take away my keys."

She had to shut this guy up and fast. Beckett walked up to Castle, placed her hands on either side of his head and pulled him towards her. She crushed her lips against his. The kiss was brief but had the desired effect.

"Castle, I love it. "

Castle looked stunned.

"What?"

Beckett smiled. It hadn't been there first kiss yet it still shocked him.

"I love it."

Beckett grabbed him by the hand and dragged him over to the wall of photos. She now thoroughly looked over each and everyone. It was like a Christmas tree; every time you looked at it you saw something different. There were six large portrait shots scattered throughout one of each of them. Beckett smiled at the picture of Lanie using a scalpel, to dissect a donut! She also loved the picture of Lanie and Esposito; she hoped Castle got Lanie a copy of that one. Castle looked over at Beckett and couldn't help but grin at her smiling face. She was happy about what he had done. He looked over the photos he had spent hours going over trying to get the right balance of silliness and seriousness. Castle looked at a close-up picture of his face with tape across his, mouth and his eyes showing obvious distress.

"I can't believe I let those guys hand cuff me."

Beckett laughed.

"It did make for some great photos."

She pointed at a picture that had been taken from behind. Castle was cuffed and Ryan and Esposito were escorting him to the interrogation room. She then surveyed the photos until she found what was the smallest picture of them all. It was one taken of the two of them in the interrogation room and the photographer had obviously zoomed in or the photo had been cropped. The pair were standing side on to the camera and very very close to each other. She knew she had just taken off the tape that had been on his mouth but that didn't show in the photo. All it showed was the two of them face to face mouths slightly as if they were about to kiss. Beckett slid a sideways glance to Castle who hadn't realised what picture she was looking at.

"What do you think about this one?"

He pointed at a picture and Beckett leaned over to glance at it. For some reason Esposito had dipped Ryan.

"Why were they dancing?"

Castle shrugged. "I don't know I told the guys to mess around and that's what they came up with."

Beckett looked at the various pictures. There was an almost identical picture to the one that was in her room except this one had them posing with a more serious face. She was now sitting on Castles knee instead of being sprawled across his lap. There was also the picture of her almost strangling Lanie and the pose of the three men with their hands on their hips pursing their lips. Then Beckett spied a picture she hadn't seen before. It was one of just herself with Castle. It was a head shot of them both smiling at the camera. It was a basic simple photo but it was by far the best one out of all of them.

"I like this one." She said pointing at the one in question.

Castle smiled. "Yeah. Your dad asked for a copy of that one."

Beckett turned to look at him. "My dad."

"Yeah" he said rather nervously. "I contacted him about getting some photos of your mom. I told him what I was up to and he was ok with it, as long as he got some photos of you in return. He said he didn't have any recent ones, so I took my laptop over and he picked the ones he liked."

"He picked one of the two of us."

Castle was nervous. He didn't want her to think he had insinuated to her father that they were a couple.

"He wanted to show off to all his friends that his daughter really is the inspiration for my novels. I even signed it for him."

"That was nice. Thank you." Beckett grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you for all of this"

Castle looked down at their joined hands then back up at her.

"Ahh well it's late and I should go. You have the day off so I should go."

Castle made his way to the door.

"You could stay."

Castle turned to look at her. "Oh right. Yeah of course, I can stay until you fall asleep if you like."

Beckett bit her lip. "Actually I was thinking you could just stay to hang out, you know. Maybe watch a little TV or play cards or talk, you know just hang."

Castle looked surprised. She wanted to hang out. Not because of work, not because she needed him to sleep, because she wanted him. To hang out at least. Castle took off his jacket.

"Ahh yeah sure sounds great."

Beckett smiled. "Great. I was going to make a snack you, you want one?"

Castle nodded. "Sure"

Hanging out with Beckett in her home. Watching TV, her making him a snack. Wow could this night get any better.

**Authors Note: Short but sweet , at least I hope. In a few short hours I should receive my secret Santa mission. So my writing time will be devoted to that for the next 20 days. If my mission is easy then I'll be back quite soon.**

**Your guys are the greatest see ya soon. **


	20. Chapter 20

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough, Castle let himself into Becketts apartment again this time to decorate her walls with people who love her. To make her feel safe and loved in her own home. After accidently leaving her phone on silent Castle rushes to her apartment to make sure she is ok with what he has done. Beckett is glad to see him and asks him to stay and hang out. **

Castle popped the last bit of his sandwich in his mouth and licked his fingers with glee. That was one of the best sandwiches he had ever had. Sure the filling was nice as was the bread but that wasn't why. Beckett had made the snack for him! She had told him to sit on her couch and turn the TV on. Sit back and relax and wait for her to serve him. Her to serve him! It may seem like something so insignificant to anyone else but to him it meant so much. She made him a sandwich and now they were sitting on her couch just hanging. He wasn't there to help her solve a murder, they hadn't just solved a murder and were decompressing. He wasn't there to help her sleep either; he was there to hang out. To hang out. His plan was working, she wasn't relying on him. He wasn't there because she needed him, but because she wanted him. At least that was what he hoped. Castle placed his now empty plate on the coffee table.

"That was a great sandwich Beckett, thank you."

Beckett shrugged as she placed her plate on the table along with Castles.

"Well I can't take all the credit for it; I had some pretty gourmet ingredients in my fridge. Thanks to you."

Castle smiled. "Well you deserve the best."

Beckett leaned on the arm rest and looked at him.

"What makes you say that?"

Castle mimicked Becketts position and leaned back on the opposing arm rest and smiled at her.

"Because I deserve the best."

Beckett stared at Castle. He deserved the best! Beckett slowly turned her head away from him and brought her hand up to her mouth and lightly nibbled on her thumb nail.

Castle deserved the best.

He was right, he did.

Yet he somehow associated what he deserved with her. If he wanted her and he deserved the best then he thought of her as the best. She was the best? She knew she was good at her job but she knew he wasn't talking about that. The thought had her mind spiralling.

"This couch is comfortable, but hard to sit on."

Beckett turned back to Castle to see him sliding back on the long seat, his legs not long enough to bend where the seat cushion ended.

"I know I didn't really realise that when I bought the couch. It's best to either bring your legs up or lie down."

She watched as he kicked off his shoes and then attempted to pull his legs up. Beckett laughed at his futile attempt.

"I guess I don't bend that way," Castle told her.

Beckett stood up.

"Lie down on the couch."

Castle looked up at her. "But where will you sit?" her apartment didn't really have any other seating option apart from the hard looking chairs around her kitchen table.

Beckett shrugged.

"Well I was thinking I could lie in front of you. The couch is fairly wide, and we fit on there last night."

Beckett wanted to lie on her couch with him; oh he was so up for that. He just hoped 'Big Rick' wasn't up for that. Castle stretched out on the couch and snuggled back as far as he could to allow space for her, he didn't want her to change her mind when she saw how little space there was. Beckett sat in the middle of the couch before stretching out along side of him. Parts of their bodies were touching and parts weren't. He tried his hardest to keep a certain part of his lower body away from her; he only had so much self control. His head was resting on his hand so he could see over her head to see the TV screen but his position was also perfect for looking over her body. Looking at how well her body filled out the black pants she had worn to work. At how well there bodies seem to fit together spooned on the couch.

"So this movie isn't too bad."

Movie? Oh that's right, that was the reason why they were laying on the couch, to watch the movie that was playing on the screen. Not to give him more material for his fantasies. He looked at the screen and watched a few scenes before he realised what movie it was. Thankfully he had seen the movie before because he honestly hadn't been paying any attention to the movie the whole time it had been on. To busy eating his sandwich lovingly made by Beckett, then to busy loving the site of Beckett lying next to him.

"Yeah it's ok."

Castle gritted his teeth; oh this was so hard, on so many levels. His fingers lying on his own leg twitched, he wanted to hold her, to touch her. Part of his chest and part of his leg touching her wasn't enough; he wanted to feel her skin beneath his fingertips. In the meantime he would look and savour and visit a dentist tomorrow, his teeth were going to be ground down to nothing. He tried his hardest to keep his hands to himself but when she leaned forward to grab her drink off the coffee table, Castle placed his hand on her hip. It was to stop her from falling off the couch, it was a knee jerk reaction. She didn't protest or shake him off, simply brought her glass of water to her lips and drank deeply. When she was done he used his grip on her hip to ease her back. Still she said nothing, so he took a chance and kept his hand where it was. Her shirt had risen slightly so his index was currently feeling the pleasure of her soft skin. His heart stopped when he saw her arm move and inch towards his hand. Castle closed his eyes and prayed she wouldn't hurt his fingers too much; he needed them to earn his living. Perhaps he should have thought about that before he made the decision to leave his hand on her hip. Her fingers curled around his own and he winced waiting for the pain to come but it didn't. Instead he felt his hand being pulled down gently, his arm naturally wrapping around her waist before she interlaced her fingers with his. He opened his eyes as she moved further back on the couch plastering her back against his front. Castle tried to control his breathing. He didn't want her to realise how much her body being pressed against his was affecting him. He had to be careful. She would either feel his heavy breathing on the back of her head or feel his stomach moving way to quickly because of his inhaling and exhaling. All he had to do was stay calm and focus on the TV screen. Watch the pretty little pictures on the screen.

Beckett closed her eyes as Castles warmth seeped into her. She had been delighted when he had chosen to stay. I was rare that they got to simply hang out together, although she would admit that was more than likely her fault. So she was happy that he had taken her up on her offer. She had never taken so much care in making a sandwich before, normally she just threw a few things between two pieces of stale bread and ate it over her sink. For some reason through she wanted to make a great sandwich for Castle, wanted him to see she was more than a cop. It was strange because she never wanted to show any of her other boyfriends how domestic she could be, not that Castle was her boyfriend. It was just that it mattered that he knew, because he mattered. She had tried not to smile when he praised her sandwich making skills and threw it off. Yes she had been happy about it but the fact was he was sitting all the way over the other side of the couch. All the way over the other side, it may as well have been the Grand Canyon. She was so used to him being close to her and then a miracle happened, her couch. Maybe it was magic like Castles. The seat was too long and he couldn't sit on it so they had no choice but to lie on it together. No choice yeah right. After she had seen the picture on her wall she knew she had to see him, to thank him but for other unknown reasons too. She just wanted to see him to be with him and now he was lying with her on her couch. It wasn't right though, her back was towards him and while the TV was on it would stay that way.

Castle focused on screen focused on the pictures. He had lain with Beckett before but something was different this time. His mind and body were in total overdrive. All he had to do was focus on the pictures and he would be fine. Except the pretty little pictures disappeared. Why did they have to disappear? He was going to lose all control if the pictures didn't reappear.

Beckett dropped the TV remote to the ground anyway. She had a feeling Castle wasn't watching it, not unless he found Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker arousing. At least that's what she assumed was poking into her. More than once she had slid her gaze away from the screen to peak at the man behind her. He hadn't been looking at the screen. He had been looking down the length of their bodies. She felt his breathing increase when she had wrapped his arm around her body. Having his hand on her hip hadn't been enough she need to be covered by him, consumed by him. The sensations that were running through her body just lying alongside him were strange yet wonderful. Like nothing she had ever felt before, and that was the point she was feeling. Feeling wonderful and amazing, not cold or empty. She felt so warm and at peace thanks to the man lying behind her and she wanted more. Needed more. Beckett rolled onto her back and snuggled even closer to Castle, if that was even possible, to avoid falling off the couch. He was staring down at her now; she could see his chest heaving rather than feeling it. His eyes kept scanning her face as if trying to read what was going on. She needed to give him a message to read, something easy and simple.

She licked her lips and watched as his quivered. Maybe she needed to use Morse code. She took a few deep breaths and smiled as he looked down towards her chest before looking back up at her eyes. She tried to convey her need for him in her eyes, she needed him, wanted him. Now. She licked her lips once more and closed her eyes in pleasure as his lips descended on hers. His lips moved across hers slowly, almost tentatively, hesitantly. Not like Castle at all. He was always confidant, sure of himself, go in all guns blazing. She didn't need soft, gentle, slow, she needed, fire, passion, heat. Beckett needed to take things into her own hands, literally. She reached her left arm up, ran her hands though his hair before pulling his head closer to her own crushing his lips on her own. She let out a groan and that seemed to be the green light he needed. His lips moved over hers in an almost hurried fashion before leaving them to caress her jaw and then eventually her neck. Beckett let out a whimper and turned her head to allow him better access. He was doing all the right things yet somehow it didn't seem enough, she needed more. She removed her hand from his head and ran it down the arm that was now gripping her hip. Applying force to his hand she let out a little chuckle when he squeezed her hip and then slipped his hand under her shirt. His hand felt like fire on her cold empty body and she wanted that heat, needed it. Beckett slid her hand under his arm and ran it down his ribs. She brought her other hand to his ribs and forced his upper body down onto hers. The weight of his body had her groaning again. She normally hated being underneath her partner, it made her feel trapped and not in control. Yet at the moment all she wanted to do, was lose control. She wanted to be trapped so she couldn't go anywhere; she wanted to stay exactly where she was. Beckett ran her hands over Castles body; she needed to touch him everywhere. Her hands roamed over his shoulders down his back and rested on his butt causing him to laugh. His mouth returned to hers kissing her deeply. The moistness and heat from his lips fuelled her need. She ran her hands back up to his waist and pulled out his shirt before running her hands over his bare back. Was it normal for the rest of her body to be jealous of her hands? Jealous that they were getting to touch Castles skin while the rest of her wasn't. She needed more, she needed him. She tore mouth away from his.

"Castle, I need you."

Castle stopped his assault on her neck. He looked at the woman breathing heavily beneath him. He had dreamed of this to many times to count, not this exactly but something like this. On his bed, on hers. In a hotel room on a beach, or a grassy meadow, the last two were the writer in him. In all of his fantasies she never spoke, a few groans yes, but never spoke. He always wanted her to utter his name, but when ever her mouth opened to obliged him he would wake up. So he leaned never to ask her of that in his dreams in order to prolong them. Yet she was speaking now, she said she needed him. Even if his ears deceived him, her eyes didn't. He saw the need in her eyes, she wanted him and he wanted her. He brushed a hand through her hair, oh god she was so precious. She was so precious and here he was devouring her on the couch like some horny teenager. Castle nodded at her.

"Ok but not here."

Castle awkwardly got up from the couch and held out a hand to help Beckett up. Once she was standing she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. She broke the kiss and then grabbed him by the hand and dragged him into her room. Once there she removed her top and then started on his. Castle threw his top to the ground then halted Beckett's fingers on the waistband of his pants.

"Hey slow down."

Beckett shook her head.

"I need you. Please."

Castle closed his eyes. Oh god he was a goner. When Beckett tried to undo his pants again he was helpless to stop her. His pants dropped and he marched on the spot to dislodge his pants from his legs as Beckett hoped around trying to take her own pants off. Once they were both standing there in their underwear Beckett was on him again. This time, not his mouth. She plastered her body to his and let out a groan before running her hands all over him.

"You feel so good, so warm."

Castle chuckled as he stilled her arms to stop her urgency.

"We have all night."

"I know, but this feels so good and I need to feel this good. I haven't felt this good in like ever."

She then grabbed his head and crushed her lips to his yet again. Castle pulled himself away from her much to his bodies' protests and walked towards her bed. He pulled back the covers as the lights went out plunging the room into darkness.

"I thought you didn't like it when it's dark?" his eyes still hadn't adjusted yet and he had no idea where she was.

"I don't but have been helping me get over that fear. Besides your here."

Castle turned to her voice.

"Get in bed."

He didn't have to be told twice. He slid between the sheets and waited for Beckett to join him. He didn't have to wait long, the bed dipped and she pounced on him at an alarming rate. Her lips peppered his face as her hands ran all over his body. He needed to slow her down although he was having a hard time as she was now straddling his body. Her hands ran down his body and Castle jerked. Ok time to take over. Castle placed his hands either side of her hips and rolled their bodies. Beckett let out a yelp as her back hit the mattress.

"Castle..."

Castle stopped her speech by kissing her softly. Beckett writhed beneath him trying to increase the friction between their bodies. When Castle refused to budge she tried to roll their bodies but he rebelled against her movement.

"I'm in charge now." He whispered in her ear.

Beckett melted at the sensation of his breath against her ear and relaxed her body. His lips found her neck again as he ran a hand over her body. She enjoyed the feeling of his heated body laying over her, his weight a welcoming feeling. Yet she knew from experience that if she was going to achieve extreme satisfaction she was going to have to be on top and she was going to have to speed things up a bit. She reached down between their bodies but yet again her hand was swatted away. Instead he manoeuvred his body over hers and slowly slid inside her. Beckett threw her head back and groaned, this somehow felt different. Her eyes fluttered shut as he slowly extracted himself only to return moments later. Beckett could feel her orgasm growing but at the rate he was going it would take forever. She bucked against him trying to get him to increase his speed.

"Castle I need you."

She felt Castles weight lift off his arms and onto her body stilling her movements.

"Shush" he told her softly

His lips grazed over hers again as he resumed his slow sensual movement over her body. His light touches sent ripples though her body and she relaxed once more. Her body was experiencing so many new and wonderful sensations; maybe there was a reason to go slow. Her temperature was increasing; she had never felt heat like this before, heat or desire. Her body vibrated with deliciousness as he brought her body closer and closer to its goal. Becketts mouth gaped open in shock at what was happening to her body. It had never been like this, tender yet passionate. She writhed and whimpered until he finally brought her over the edge. She reared up and clutched at his sweat soaked body as her body convulsed under his ministrations. Releasing an almost animalistic growl she laid back on the bed trying to catch her breath. Wow, what the, wow. Castle kissed her neck while his movements slowed allowing her to enjoy the tiny aftershocks of her orgasm before his pace increased again. She revelled in the fact that what he was doing was causing her so much pleasure while he was trying to achieve his own orgasm. Not something she had experienced in the past. He was so soft and gentle and she cried out again for a second time moments before his voice broke through the sexual haze.

"Kate, oh Kate."

She ran her hands through his hair and kissed him lightly before allowing him access to air again. He rested his head in the nook created by her head and shoulder for a few seconds before he attempted to move his body off of hers. Beckett wasn't usually the type to cuddle, in fact she usually got straight out of bed, yet she couldn't help the whimper that escaped her when there bodies separated. It seemed Castle wasn't happy about their bodies being separated either, he reached over and pulled her body to his. She wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder like she had on so many occasions when she had slept in his bed in the past. Feeling him press a gentle kiss to her head Beckett turned her head and kissed his chest. She couldn't help but lick the saltines off his sweat off her lips. His sweaty chest created by her. Castle moved slightly and Beckett wondered what he was doing until she felt the covers being pulled over them. The sheets were cold and the room was dark but she wasn't scared, she wasn't empty. She felt something she hadn't felt in quite some time. Alive!

**Authors Note: hey all sorry for the delay in getting a chapter to you. I was writing my Secret Santa story. Caramel Kisses. I also ended up writing a Christmas story for a very special reviewer LittleLizzieZentara. The Magic of Christmas. So if you like this story you might like them too so go and check them up.**

**Ok so this was my first attempt at a sex scene and I am not really sure how it went. I don't know if I am happy with it or if conveyed what I wanted to . So it would be really helpful for any sex scenes in future stories if you let me know what you thought. Any ideas on how I can make it better/ different or even if I could have done with out it, and just make a reference to the fact they had sex mmm. Please review**

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	21. Chapter 21

_**Previously on Anint No Mountian High Enough.**_

_**Castle and Beckett made love, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh**_

_**Enough said!**_

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Castle blinked as the warm sunlight hit his face, why was there sunlight hitting his face? He had set up his room specifically so that wouldn't happen. As a writer he would sleep at unusual hours and didn't need to be woken up hours after he had just gotten to sleep. He tried to move his arm to block the sunlight but he couldn't because it was trapped under something. He opened his eyes and froze. Not something, someone. Friends of a bygone era had talked about waking up and finding their arm trapped under a woman and wanting to gnaw their arm off. That wasn't the case here; in fact he would gladly stay trapped for the rest of his life, under Becketts body. Trying not to disturb her sleeping body Castle rolled over and inched towards her. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and snuggled against her, effectively spooning her. He heard her groan then felt her wiggle back into him. A smile broke out on his face; he closed his eyes with delight and squeezed her tightly. Last night had been one of the best nights of his life, one of the best, not THE best. Life was more than making love, it was about being in love, being together, and when that happened he would be complete. In the meantime he would settle for what he had right now, because as far as he was concerned, it wasn't a bad thing to settle for. He could get used to this, very easily. Waking up every morning to a beautiful woman, showering together, and then having breakfast with his family. Castles eyes widened, his family, Alexis! When Beckett hadn't returned his calls last night he had rushed over. He hadn't told his daughter where he was going as he had planned on coming back home after he found out Beckett was ok. No way could he have predicted that he would be spending the night with Beckett, in her arms, in her bed. Yes they had spent nights together but not like this. Either way he had left home and hadn't told his daughter. Rising slightly he looked over at the bedside table and saw the clock. It was 5 am; his daughter would be up soon, he could make it home in time to see her. He could just call her and say he was working on a case with Beckett and hadn't come home, but he wanted to see his daughter. Beckett had the day off and he was hoping she would want to spend the day with him, and the night, and the next day before work. If that was the case he wouldn't get to see his daughter. Castle looked over the beauty lying beside him, he didn't want to leave but he should. He brushed back her hair and exposed her face and neck. The neck he had so lovingly caressed last night with his lips. He couldn't resist leaning down and kissing her again, but one kiss wasn't enough. He kissed her neck then trailed kisses down her bare shoulder. She moved then and rolled onto her back reaching an arm up to his head and pulled him down for a kiss. He used her movement to dislodge his arm.

"Morning," she mumbled against his lips. She then pulled back and stretched her arms, side to side before opening her eyes slightly. "Why are you up, it's still early?"

Castle smiled at the half asleep woman.

"I have to go."

Beckett pouted.

"Alexis will be getting up for school soon."

Her pout turned into a frown, she closed her sleepy eyes and nodded.

"Ok."

"I can come back later."

Beckett tried to open her eyes but failed. "I could come with you."

Oh she was amazing, she was tired yet she was still willing to come with him. He kissed her lightly on the cheek before stroking it.

"You need your sleep."

He lifted the covers on the bed and made an attempt to leave when he heard a noise from Beckett. He turned and saw her furrowed brow and her lips making kissing movements. He leaned over and kissed her one last time.

"Come back for breakfast, I'll get up," she told him through closed eyes.

"No, No. You need your sleep. I'll come back at lunch, ok. If you want that is."

She nodded before rolling over and falling sleep again. He was almost tempted to climb back into bed and snuggle up to her, but if he did that he wouldn't get to see his daughter. Beckett had the day off though so maybe if he crossed his fingers ,toes, eyes and nostril hair, he would be returning to that very spot soon.

Alexis quietly made her way down the stairs. She was showered and dressed and ready for school, all she needed was breakfast. After showering she had kept an ear out for the familiar sound of the front door closing but it never happened. Maybe they were off schedule, had left before she had woken up, or even while she was in the shower. Either way she wanted to be quite in case they were still there. Ducking behind the counter and holding back a sneeze a few days ago had been close and she really didn't want to do that again. Hearing whistling coming from behind her Alexis turned towards the kitchen and spotted her father, only her father. She frowned when she recognised the tune he was whistling.

"Good Morning Dad, are you ok?"

Castle turned around and smiled at his daughter.

"I'm fine, great in fact."

Alexis frowned at his grin that made her to want to go and get her sunglasses. His whistling was also worrying her and annoying her.

"Are you sure? You're whistling Disney songs."

Castle opened his mouth to respond but then shut it having no response.

"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah, Song of the South. Dad, really?

Castle shrugged sheepishly before breaking out into song

"Plenty of sunshine heading my way."

Alexis looked out the window. "Dad, it's cloudy outside."

"It's all in your mind my dear."

"Ok now you're scaring me, you're starting to sound like Gram."

"I am just happy, that's all, is there anything wrong with that."

Castle switched songs and started to hum instead.

Alexis frowned, he wasn't just happy, he was over the moon happy and she had a feeling why. This was not a good thing, this was bad and had the potential to turn into catastrophic. Forgetting breakfast Alexis grabbed her things and headed for the door.

"Wait what about breakfast."

Alexis turned to look at her father.

"There are more important than breakfast Dad."

Beckett groaned when she heard a knocking at her door. She rolled over on the bed and snuggled her head into the pillow and unintentionally breathed in a delicious scent. Castle! Her eyes opened and she looked at the vacant bed. He was gone. Dread hit her, until she remembered the events that occurred earlier. Castle had left to see Alexis off to school but he was coming back, he had kissed her goodbye. The knocking continued and Beckett threw the covers off, Castle said he was coming back, maybe he forgot his keys. Grabbing a robe to cover up her nakedness Beckett ran to the door, she couldn't wait to see him again. Throwing open the door she was surprised to see Castle standing there, Little Castle, not Big Castle.

"Alexis hi, is everything ok."

"Can I come in?" She didn't wait for an answer; she brushed past Beckett and walked into the apartment.

Beckett closed the door and bit her lip. Castle said he was going home to see his daughter and now she was here. Something was wrong. Taking a deep breath she turned around to face the teen. She had her back to her and something seemed to be off.

"Alexis is everything ok?" she repeated.

Alexis swung around then. Her mouth pinched into a scowl and her arms crossed over her chest.

"What is going on between you and my Dad, are you guys a couple?"

Beckett's mouth gaped open. This was a lot to take in this early in the morning, what had Castle told his daughter? Beckett pulled her robe around her a little tighter now.

"What did your father tell you?"

The teen was getting angrier. "I am asking you."

Beckett didn't know how to approach this. Interrogating suspects was one thing but being interrogated was another.

"Umm, no not exactly."

Beckett watched as Alexis face turned red, anger clearly evident in her face. Taking her bag off her shoulder Alexis threw it to the ground violently then stalked towards Beckett.

"Then why are you fucking him."

Beckett stood there shocked, Alexis was usually so quiet and gentle, this outburts was so unexpected

"Huh, tell me why. Why are you fucking him, why are you fucking with him?"

Beckett didn't know how to respond.

"I'm not" she stammered. At least she didn't this she was fucking WITH him.

Beckett watched as Alexis shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them Beckett saw her eyes were glassy, the girl was in obvious pain.

"How could you. How can you stand there and lie to me."

Beckett became concerned as Alexis began to wheeze and her shoulders began to heave. She was upset, real upset. Beckett tried to reach out a hand to stroke her arm but Alexis shook her off and walked away.

"How could I be so stupid? How could I let myself be so stupid, as to let myself love someone like you? There have been a lot of woman in my dad's life but I had hoped you would be the last. Out of all of them, I liked you the most, I cared about you the most, I loved you the most. You were a better match for my dad than any of them, including my mother."

Beckett started at the girls back. Alexis loved her, cared for her, and she had made her cry. She mentioned her mother; the poor girl was looking for a substitute.

"Look Alexis, I know you miss your mum and I don't blame you but you can't transfer the love you have for your mother to any other female around, it doesn't work like that."

Alexis spun around to look at her again; Beckett was shocked to see the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Transfer my love? I didn't transfer anything. I love my mother, in a way, mainly because she is my mother, I kind of have to. It's like built in, but you, I chose to love you and this is how you repay me."

Beckett shook her head. "But how could you love me?" she wasn't lovable. She was cold and unapproachable, she had been told by more than one ex boyfriend.

Alexis shrugged, "I am starting to wonder that myself."

Beckett stood there in shock. She didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say.

"Be honest with me Kate what is going on?"

Beckett took a deep breath and shrugged before shaking her head. She didn't know.

"And don't give me that nothing crap, I know something is going on, something has been going on since the Hamptons."

Beckett's eyes widened.

"Nothing happened at the Hamptons. You are the one who invited me remember?"

Alexis scoffed. "Oh please, I saw dad sneaking out of your room after midnight."

Beckett mouth gaped open, Alexis had seen them, and she called herself a detective.

"He came into my room to eat ice-cream and talk, that's all."

"What about the kiss?"

"What kiss?"

"Yeah right like you don't remember the kiss dad gave you!"

Beckett tried to put on her best poker face. She did remember the kiss, it still gave her tingles. It had been brief and only just hit her lips but wow, electrifying.

"It was just a good night kiss, like your dad would give you."

Alexis shook her head. "If dad looked at me the way he did at you after it, you would have locked him up by now."

Beckett sighed, what could she say.

"It's more than just a good night kiss Kate; I know you have been sleeping at our house."

Beckett shook her head, oh no. How was she supposed to explain it to Alexis when she couldn't even explain it to herself?

"Cut the crap Kate doesn't try to deny it, I've seen you leave."

"All we did was sleep when I stayed over, I swear Alexis. "

Alexis nodded. "I know which is why I allowed it to go on for so long, but last night something changed. I know the two of you had sex last night; dad was all smiling and happy this morning, more than usual. He has Disney songs on his mind. When I left he was humming "A whole new world" from Aladdin. He wants to show you a whole new world. So tell me Kate. What is going on between you and my dad?"

"Look Alexis, it's complicated."

Alexis eyes widened. "Complicated, COMPLICATED! You're a detective, figure it out."

Beckett stood there is shock.

"My dad loves you. He really loves you Kate. What I want to know is if you love him.

Love, it was a four letter word. Beckett shrugged.

"I am not like you Alexis, I can't just throw around the 'I love yous' at the drop of a hat. When I say it's because I really mean it and honestly I never really said it to anyone else apart from my parents. I don't even know if it's possible for me to love another person. Especially the way you want me to, I a am sorry I am just not built that way".

Beckett watched as Alexis broke down in front of her.

"Then stay the hell away from my father."

"What?"

"Keep your relationship on a professional level. He loves that too and I couldn't stand it if he lost two things he loves. I want you to stop flirting with him, all the sexual innuendo. Stop allowing him to do things for you, not just big things like these photos" she said looking around the apartment. "But the little things too like coffee."

Beckett shrugged. "I don't ask him to bring me coffee."

"No but he knows you like it. Think about it Kate, we have a coffee machine, so does the precinct, yet he still brings you a coffee. It's not because he likes it it's because you do, and I want it to stop. The coffee, the hugs, kisses, sleeping over. I want it all to stop. Today!"

"Alexis."

"Either you stop it, or I will" the teen warned.

"What?"

"Dad always told me if he was seeing someone I didn't like I could tell him and he would stop seeing them. I've never told him to stop seeing anyone because I know how upset it will make it and it would put a strain on our relationship. I love the relationship I have with my dad and I don't want to do anything to disrupt that. I also love my dad and I don't want him to get hurt either. So the decision is up to you. Stop what's going on or make me lose what I have with my dad. The choice is yours Kate."

Pain hit Beckett's heart.

"I can't lose your father Alexis."

"Work with him, be friends with him, but don't lead him on. Don't let him think he has a chance of being loved by you when it's obvious he doesn't."

Be friends with him, could she do that just simply be friends. Beckett's bottom lip began to quiver.

"Alexis please don't do this."

Alexis picked up her bag and strode towards the door.

"I'm not, you are."

Beckett cringed as the door slammed. She covered her face with her hands as she slid to the floor. Hugging her knees to her chest and starting to cry. Castle! He had become a huge part of her life, who she was kidding the only reason she even had a life was because of him. Alexis said they could still work together but could she do that. Go back; go back to the way things were, but what was her alternative. Lie! Lie to keep him in her life. That wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to her. Beckett took in big gulps of air, she shouldn't be doing this. Sitting in her floor crying. She needed help, now, but who could she turn to, not Castle. She rose from the floor and looked around at the walls of her apartment. She wasn't alone in the world. She had people who loved and cared for her, all she had to do was ask.

AUTHORS NOTE: Ahhh so I bet you are all throwing stones at me right now huh, well what can I say 2011 has been a shitty year for myself, my family, and honestly it seems 2011 sucked for everyone around the globe, so I figured this was an appropriate way to end it. Sucking too.

I hope the new year brings you hope, love, joy, happiness and the ability to write amazing Castle Fan fiction, oh an awesome reviews too.

See ya in the new year


	22. Chapter 22

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Previously on Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Alexis found out about Casketts night of pleasure and told Kate to stop the unorthodox relationship.

Beckett pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialled Lanies number. I t occurred to her that even thought Lanie was at work today, it didn't necessarily mean she was in the morgue and that was where she was heading. After dialling Lanie for the second time the ME finally picked up.

"Lanie hi please tell me you're at the morgue."

"I am, but I am kind of in the middle of something here."

"This is important; I'll be there in a minute. Look Lanie the thing is..."

"A minute, you're going to be here in a minute. Listen I'm seriously in the middle of something can you come back later or I could come and see you in like 5."

"I need help Lanie."

Lanie heard the despair in her friends voice and that was rare.

"Crap ok, just take your time and don't judge."

Beckett hung up her phone and ignored what Lanie had said and didn't take her time. If anything she increased her speed, she needed to speak to Lanie now. As she walked in she noticed Lanie straightening a cover on a body, this was unusual, it's not like she hadn't seen a dead body before.

"Hey."

Lanie spun around and splayed her hands out over the body as if protecting it.

"Hi," she seemed shocked at first then her face turned to concerned.

"Oh honey," Lanie crossed the distance between then and pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong, you look terrible."

Beckett pulled away from the hug; she was agitated and needed to be free. She ran a hand through her hair and began to pace, where to start, what to tell.

"Honey did you get dressed in the dark, I know it's' your day off but seriously."

Beckett looked down at her clothes; she had grabbed whatever was right in front of her face. She had slipped on her jacket and was out the door before she even realised she had forgotten to put her bra on and had to go back for it. Skinny leg jeans and her gym shoes wasn't the greatest look, neither was the pink t shirt with her red knees length jacket. Not to mention it was quite warm. Fashion wasn't her upmost concern, getting to Lanie was, getting help was.

"I slept with Castle," she blurted out.

Lanie threw a glance over her shoulder at the body before looking back at her. Ok so Kate had slept with Castle this was nothing new, in fact it was old news, it had happened ages ago, unless Kate had some new juicy gossip she hadn't shared at the time.

"I know you did, you told me already. The night of the terrorist attack you went to Castles house and shared a bed but not bodily fluids. I know, I know."

Right Beckett thought, sleeping, they had gone through that before. Everyone thought sleeping meant sex and she had insisted it didn't, except she was meaning it this time. Yet Lanie was her friend and it was about time she let her friend know what was going on. The whole story.

"Lanie I need your help, I need you to recommend a doctor, a couple of doctors maybe. I think something is wrong with me."

Lanie frowned and walked towards Beckett and looked her over.

"What are your symptoms?" Lanie picked up Becketts wrist and began to check her pulse.

Beckett swatted her friend away.

"I've been feeling hollow and empty."

Lanie stared at her friend.

"What?"

"Hollow, empty, mainly when I go to my apartment at night. It feels so cold and empty and I can't sleep when I am there. I try and try but nothing seems to work. I get maybe a few hours before I wake up again. At first I was going to the precinct by then I have been so exhausted I've slept on the toilet or on the work out mats. The lack of sleep is making me agitated and moody and I am doing some stupid stuff because of it. One Friday night I was watching movies with Alexis while Castle attended some writer thing. I ended up lying to Alexis and Castle about the reason I stayed even after Alexis went to bed. Castle knew though, he knew I hadn't been sleeping, that I was going to the precinct at all hours of the morning and night. He took me to his room and ordered me into his bed."

When Beckett noticed her friends raised brows she quickly amended what she had said.

"To sleep nothing else. He was going to sleep in his study or on the couch or somewhere, but I called him back. I asked him to sleep in the bed with me, it was a huge bed and I hated him putting himself out because of me."

The look Lanie gave her, told her she didn't believe what she had just said.

Beckett sighed. " Ok, ok, so I wanted him near that's not the point. I had the most amazing sleep that night, I felt so refreshed and healthy and happy the next morning. The trouble is the only time I have been getting a decent night sleep has been at Castles, so I have been sleeping there. Not every night but a lot of them."

"I bet Castle has been happy with that."

Beckett shook her head.

"He has been the perfect gentle man, not once has he tried to make a move on me." At least without encouragement from her. "He has been trying to get me to feel comfortable in my apartment. Leaving my heat on for me, buying me lamps to make it brighter, providing me with food. The whole photo shoot was a ruse to get photos of all you guys to put up around my place so I wouldn't feel alone. He has really come through for me over the last few weeks. "

Lanie was shocked, all of this was going on under her very nose, not even Esposito had mentioned anything. She had been a little suspicious when Castle hadn't mentioned which magazine the photos were for but then again why did she care, she was getting free photos out of it.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

Lanie tried to pull her into a hug but she backed away again and raked her hands through her hair.

"I don't know, I felt stupid and weak."

"You still should have talked to me about it."

Becket shook her head.

"There's more Lanie. I have been spending a lot of time with Castle and we have been getting close. On occasion we have hugged."

Lanie nodded. "Well that's good; you have been through some traumatic events. Seeking comfort from a friend is a good thing."

Comfort, sure it had been comforting and warm, and passionate and life affirming.

"We haven't just hugged, we have kissed to. Not just a quick peck on the mouth, I am talking deep lengthy kisses," saying it out load sent thrills through her body. She could practically feel Castles tongue sliding over hers, it was a good thing she was in the morgue where it was cold.

Lanies eyes bulged they had kissed, for real. No mistletoe, no drunken poker bet, they had kissed.

"Oh my God girl that is amazing."

Amazing was an understatement and she didn't know the half of it. Beckett took a deep breath. "Last night we slept together."

Lanie raised her brows at her, this was the second time she had said that."Slept as in sleep or slept as in..."

Beckett bit her lip and shrugged before smiling and nodding.

Lanies eyes widened. Oh my God Kate and Castle had slept together, finally. She let out an ear piercing scream.

"Ahh this is great," Lanie exclaimed although she couldn't help but throw a nervous look over her shoulder.

Beckett shook her head. "No it's not great"

Lanie winched. "Wasn't it good? You know he was never going to live up to all those fantasies you had about him right."

Beckett shook her head. "It's not Lanie, Alexis found out. Apparently she has known I've been staying at her place, even thought I have been sneaking out early in the morning. She never said anything before because, well I don't know why she let it go, but Castle came home this morning singing Disney songs and she figured out we had been together."

Lanie was confused. "So, Alexis is cool with you being together," she had spoken to her the day they all went shopping.

"That's just the thing, Castle and I, we're not together. I am so confused and freaked out by it all. I don't know what we are or what's even going on between the two of us. That wasn't good enough for Alexis, she demanded I admit that I love Castle or just stop everything that's going on between us. She is ok with us working together but that's it."

Beckett began to pace again, she couldn't stay still. She started rubbing at her arms first and the raked her hands through her hair again. Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own; they rubbed together before moving up to her wrists her arms, her hair before returning to her hands again. She kept fidgeting and her anxiety was rising.

"I can't lose him Lanie, I can't. I can't go back to the person I was before he came along. I wasn't even a person back then, just an empty hollow shell. We crossed a line last night Lanie and I don't know if we can go back. Even if I do as Alexis asked, keep it professional, what if he can't do that. What if he sees this as a rejection and never wants to see me again. I need his friendship Lanie. I need him in my life."

Lanie watched as her best friend feel apart before her eyes. She had known something was up with her over the last few weeks but she hadn't pushed. When Beckett was pushed she clammed up and she didn't want that. Castle had already come to see her about Becketts health so she had left it in his capable hands. That was then, this was now.

"What is wrong with me? Send me to a doctor Lanie. Poke me, prod me, shirk my head, whatever, I just need to find out what's wrong me."

Lanies heart broke at her friends distress.

"There is nothing wrong with you."

"There has to be, why do I keep doing this. I keep hurting Castle, his family. Alexis was so angry with me Lanie. Sweet, innocent Alexis was using bad language, her face was so red. I made her cry. How could I do that Lanie."

"Maybe you should talk to Castle, explain that things are a bit fuzzy at the moment and you just need time to sort things out. I'm sure he would talk to Alexis about it."

"No" Beckett practically yelled at her friend. "I don't want Castle to know that Alexis came and spoke to me. I don't want to put a strain on her relationship, he is all she has. She thinks I am going to hurt her father and maybe she is right. I cant fault her for trying to protect him. I know what it's like to have your world torn apart I don't want that for Alexis. I don't want her to hurt more than she already is. "

Lanie was surprised at the care Kate was showing for Castles daughter. "You care about her a lot don't you?"

Beckett shrugged, "She's Castles daughter of course I care about her."

"Just because she is his daughter doesn't mean you have to care for her. You know when we went shopping I had a bit of a talk with her. She said what she really liked about you compared to the other woman in her dads life is that; you didn't try and force her to like you. She said all the others try and pretend to be a mother to her, or a sister or a friend, she said you didn't, yet you still managed to be all those things to her."

After the blasting she had gotten from Alexis this morning she found it hard to believe, although now her rage kind of made sense. The young woman felt betrayed.

Beckett scoffed. "You know Alexis told me today that she loved me. I hardly remember what it was like to be that young delusional."

"Why delusional?"

Beckett shrugged. "Because she can't love me, I'm not lovable."

Lanie grabbed her jacket and bag and walked towards her friend.

"Come on, we need to get you out of here. You're right you do need to see a shirk if that's what you think. We are also going to go and see my GP she is really good. We will see if we can get in or book you in to see her later in the week, she can be booked out. We will get your blood tested and give you a full physical just to double check everything is working the way it should be"

Beckett nodded and this time allowed her friend to take her by the arm.

"What about your body," Beckett asked leaning her head on Lanies shoulder.

Lanie threw a glance over her shoulder at the body lying on the table covered with a sheet.

"I'll deal with him later."

Within seconds of the woman leaving the morgue the sheet began to move. It was quickly thrown back and Esposito jumped up from the table.

"Ahh ahh cold butt, cold butt," Esposito ran his hands over his bare butt to try and get warmth to return to it. He then walked naked through the morgue trying to find where Lanie had hidden his clothes. Opening the bottom drawer in Lanies desk he spotted his clothes and quickly pulled his pants on. Grabbing his shirt he slipped it on before grabbing out his phone and making a very important call.

AUTHORS NOTE: In regards to the previous chapter

Thank you to hartful13, for "Getting It" Really Thanks so much for your review and subsequent emails

I know a lot of people were disappointed with chapter 21. Some quite angry and thought this was quite out of character for Alexis. everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I appreciate people being truthful with me on it. I have in the past altered the way the story was going because of what a reviewer said and it made me reanalyse my story, so feel free to make comments.

Oh by the way I simply didn't write the chapter all angsty because my year sucked, I had always intended on I being that way. I had a few downs in my life in 2011 and a few major changes, but I also had some great highs to. I was moved areas at work and made 2 awesome new friends because of it. Went on a holiday which was life changing. I rediscovered my love for Fanfiction and writing and I have also made a great friend in fellow writer/reviewer Little Lizzie. I just meant that 2011 was really bad for everyone and that chapter fell right into that category. As I advised my friends via text messages the morning of a New Year.

"Happy New Year. May we leave the past in the past and look for the positive. Make the most out of what life has to offer us."


	23. Chapter 23

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. After Becketts confrontation with Alexis over her sleeping with Castle, Beckett seeks advice from Lanie about what to do. What she doesn't realise is that a certain naked detective heard the whole thing. **_

Castle gazed at his reflection the mirror, he wanted to look just right for Beckett. Bringing a hand to his head he brushed back a few strands trying to get his hair to sit just right. He turned his head side to side looking over his hair, he was due for a cut but he didn't have time today. Noticing a wrinkle on his forehead Castle used his index finger to smooth it out. He then put an index finger either side of each eye and pulled back, he then turned his head side to side again. Was he old, was he getting old, would that matter to Beckett, their age difference? It wasn't that much, but still. Woman had a thing for older men right. Woman liked Sean Connery and he was like really old. Castle looked over the rest of his body, pressing a hand to his chest he was concerned at how soft it was. He leant on his sink and did a few push ups, maybe he needed to get into a work out routine. Straightening he fixed his t shirt, he had gone for a t shirt instead of his usual button up. It was a more casual look, made him look younger, at least he thought so. He liked his light red shirt and light blue slightly tighter than normal jeans. He could be a regular guy, he wasn't all about galas and posing for pictures. Speaking of posing he twisted his body but kept his eye on the mirror checking himself out from all angles. Regardless off his money he was a pretty good catch, at least he thought so. Hearing a loud knocking Castle ran from his room. He had told Beckett he would meet her for lunch and it was only 11 but maybe she was anxious to see him, he sure hoped so. He had been procrastinating for the past few hours, his fans were going to be thinking WTF when they saw how many posts he had made on his site. Sliding across the floor in his socked feet Tom Cruise style Castle slipped slightly before opening the door.

"Esposito, Ryan, what an unexpected surprise." Unexpected and unwanted surprise.

"Your mother or daughter home?" Esposito asked striding through the doorway chest puffed out in his tough guy mode. Ryan followed trying to put on the same act, but failing miserably.

Castle looked out the door to see if Beckett was with them. She wasn't working today but that was the only reason he could think for Ryan and Esposito to be there, a new case. Dam hadn't Beckett told them he wouldn't be coming in to.

"No, Alexis is at school and I have no idea where my mother is."

"Good," Esposito nodded then suddenly lunged for Castle and threw him up against the door. "What the hell do you think you're doing fucking Beckett. What do you think she is one of your little floozies. Some dumb bimbo who is going to be satisfied with a one night stand with someone famous?"

Castle had to blink twice to make sure what was happening, was actually happening. Yep Esposito had thrown him up against his door, he really had to get the whole area padded if people were going to keep doing this to him. First Josh now Esposito. Josh! That ass hole he had gone and spread lies about Beckett. Well he warned him he would pay the price. There were a few hospitals he donated money to, he would be speaking to a few head honchos. If Josh was going to try and sully Becketts name, then all the gloves were off.

"Look if Josh has been spreading rumours they are all lies ok. Beckett slept over here, but that was weeks ago. All we did was sleep, I swear."

"I'm talking about last night."

"Yeah" Ryan said joining Esposito by the door and pressing a finger into Castles chest. "We know you fucked Beckett last night."

"I didn't" he grabbed hold of Espositos fists and tried to dislodge them from his shirt but they wouldn't budge.

"Liar" Esposito pulled Castle back from the door only to push him back causing him pain. "I heard Beckett tell Lanie this morning."

Castle could understand Beckett telling Lanie about them, they were friends. Doing it in front of Esposito was unusual though. Beckett was a very private person.

"Beckett wouldn't talk about her love life in public."

Ryan backed off and crossed his arms and tapped a finger to his mouth. "Castle is right; Beckett wouldn't talk about that in front of you."

Esposito took his eyes off Castle and looked towards his partner and shrugged. "She didn't know I was there, I was hiding."

"Why would you hide from Beckett, especially in the morgue?"

Esposito gritted his teeth "I was naked."

Castle started to laugh but quickly shut his mouth when Esposito glared at him.

"You and Lanie were getting it on in the morgue, that's just ..." Ryan shook his head at his partner.

"Hey let's focus on what's important. This scum sucker fucked Beckett last night and I want to find out what the hell he thought he was doing."

"I didn't fuck Beckett," Castle yelled back at him. He was sick of Esposito referring to last night like that. It wasn't about him getting his rocks off adding another notch to his bedpost. It was about love and passion, not something dirty and sordid.

"Don't lie to me Castle I heard Beckett."

"I didn't fuck her," he ground out. "I made love to her." Castle then executed a move that Esposito himself had taught him, on how to get out of a hold like this. He weaved a hand through Espositos arms, grabbed hold of his own hand and forced them back across Espositos arms. Effectively freeing himself. He lunged to the side and put some distance between himself and the two detectives.

"Fucked, made love, what's the difference?" Esposito practically spat the words at him.

Castle walked towards his couch but didn't sit on it just simply stood there.

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand Esposito. Mr tough guy that you are. Beckett may have told Lanie that she fucked me last night, but I certainly wasn't fucking her. I was making love to her, or at least I was trying to. She kept trying to rush it, speed things up but I kept stopping her. I tried to take things slow with her, be gentle. Tried to show her how much I loved her. I guess I failed miserably especially if she told Lanie that we fucked last night."

Castle sat on the couch now and rested his head in his hands. He was an idiot, he was a fool, he should have stopped last night. His plan had been for Beckett to be self sufficient, to be able to sleep in her apartment, then ask her for a date. He was going to take things slow, make her realise he was more than some rich playboy. Woo her, seduce her, shower her with love. His actions last night had now fucked that all up. He had screwed up a lot in his life, but this was one of the biggest. How could he have been seen so stupid? Castle hid his eyes with his hands and gritted his teeth for the second time in 24 hours. This time he wasn't trying to hold back his hands from touching Beckett, he was trying to stop himself from crying. He rubbed his fingers over his eyes before sliding his hand down and gripping his jaw in his hand, he had to keep it together. Looking up he saw Ryan and Esposito staring at him, the look of confusion adorned both their faces. Castle closed his eyes, how could they understand, his world was crumbling around him. Feeling the couch beside him dip Castle waited for another onslaught of pain. A hand landed on his shoulder but it didn't grip it, it rubbed it gently. A sign of compassion, a sign of understanding. Castle opened his eyes and was shocked to see Esposito had been the one to dole out the sincerity, not Ryan.

"I know I come across as a bad ass but I do know the difference between fucking and loving. You guys don't know this but when Lanie and I got together we kept it quiet because we were just having a bit of fun. Ya see we had all gone out for drinks after work and it ended up being just Lanie and I waiting for a taxi. I didn't like the look of the driver so I offered to go with her to make sure she got home alright. She invited me up for a coffee and we ended up having sex, and that's all it was, just sex. For a few weeks we kept texting each other for a booty call and that was enough for both of us, but something changed. I started staying after the sex, cuddling, sleeping over. We started watching a movie and eating take out before the sex. That's when I realised that I wanted more than just sex. I organised for us to go out to dinner, that place you recommended, then I took her back to my place and made love to her. Slow sensuous love. So I do understand, despite what you think."

"Wow, dude" Ryan came and sat across from the two of them. "I did always wonder why you didn't say anything to me."

Esposito shrugged. "I was worried if you guys found out that I was using Lanie as a booty call than you would do exactly what we just came to do to Castle. Not that I couldn't take the two of you."

Despite Espositos attempt to be funny Castle couldn't laugh. He felt, he felt like Beckett had described, empty, cold, alone. Something Esposito said was really sticking in his mind though. 'Using Lanie as a booty call'

"So was that what last night was to Beckett, just a booty call."

Espostio looked towards Ryan, he had told him everything he heard on the drive over here. Ryan shrugged and Esposito had to agree with him, he really didn't know.

"Look Castle, Beckett didn't tell Lanie you fucked last night, she said she slept together. I don't know if your writer mind is going to take that and run with it. Think about all the implications of referring to it as sleep rather than sex or fuck. The truth is Castle I don't know what Beckett thought of last night, except she is worried it is going to destroy your friendship, and I know she doesn't want that. She seemed really distraught that if she told you she wanted to go back to the way things were that she would lose you."

Espostio didn't want to mention the fact that Beckett had only come to this conclusion after Alexis and given her an ultimatum. If Beckett wanted to keep Alexis out of this then he wasn't going to betray his friend, anymore at least. He was already doing that by talking to Castle but he had to set things straight, set Castle straight.

"You make Beckett happy Castle." Ryan hadn't heard what Beckett had said, only what Esposito had told him, but he knew his friend. He had seen the differences in her from the moment Castle came to work with them. She joked more, she was more relaxed and more open about her life. Most importantly she was happier.

"So what am I supposed to do, forget last night happened?"

"It's up you," Esposito told him. "Becketts confused at the moment, once she figures it all out, maybe she will change her mind."

"And maybe she won't" Ryan cared for both his friends but he didn't want to see them hurt either. "I guess you need to decide what you want?"

Castle looked at his two friends, who knew they could be so deep. "I want Beckett to be happy."

His friends smiled at him. "Good." Esposito gave Castle another pat on the shoulder. He had hated throwing him up against his door but he had been angry. Beckett was so strong and even though he hadn't been able to see her he could hear the despair in her voice. Despair over losing the man that sat next to him. He had to make sure that Castles intentions towards Beckett were honourable.

"Should I call her?" Castle was anxious, he wanted to see her. He knew he had no chance of convincing Beckett to change her mind, at least right now. He would wait, like he should have last night, and see how things turned out. He still wanted to see her, reassure her there friendship was still intact. The last thing he wanted , was for Beckett to decide that even a friendship with him was impossible.

"Lanie took her to see a doctor, or at least try and get her booked in to see one."

Castle frowned. "Doctor?"

"Beckett told Lanie about her problems she has been having sleeping, her aversion to her apartment and her fondness for yours. Lanie is taking her to her GP and then maybe to someone for Beckett to talk to."

Castle nodded. "I should have tried to force her to go but I didn't want to nag her. I wanted her to feel comfortable coming to me, trusting me. I guess I should realise I can't fix everything."

"You were doing what you thought was right." Ryan stood up. "We better get going, we are supposed to be at work."

Castle nodded and walked his friends to the door. He opened the door and the pair walked out only for Esposito to turn and lunge at him once again. This time he wrapped his arms around him in an embrace.

"It will be ok, just hang in there."

Castle nodded as the man who was usually so stoic released his grip on him. Closing the door on their retreating backs Castle slid down the door and braced his hands on his knees. He was glad Esposito and Ryan had come to see him, it was nice to know they cared about Beckett too. The roughing up they had given him, he could have done without, but he understood.

Beckett wanted to go back to the way things were, friends. He should give up on his quest for her but he couldn't, not while there was still some hope. Esposito told him she was confused, which worked in his favour. It meant he still had a chance and he couldn't fuck it up this time. He needed to be stoic like Esposito, pretend like her rejection of him wasn't breaking his heart. What was that phrase he had once heard someone mutter.

_**If your going through hell, keep going.**_

That's exactly what he needed to do, keep going, work through this. He had to do this to save whatever relationship he had with Beckett. Hearing the sound of a text message Castle slowly clambered to his feet. He walked over to his phone and brought up the message from Beckett. Brought up, like throw up, exactly what he felt like doing.

_**Can we talk**_

That was something, she wanted to talk.

_**In person ?**_

Oh god how he hoped she wanted to see him. When had he become so dependent on seeing her? A reply came back quickly.

_**Central park, Balto statue, half hour?**_

Central park, not his place or hers, she was going for some place neutral. He wanted to see her instantly yet seeing her in half an hour scared him too. If he didn't see her then she couldn't tell him what he already knew. Thrusting the phone in his pocket he grabbed his keys and left his apartment. He needed to man up ,act like he had balls. Everything was going to be ok, a little time, a little heart break and things were going to be ok. At least that's what he kept telling himself.

.


	24. Chapter 24

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Ryan and Esposito question Castle on his intentions towards Beckett. Realising his intentions were true they help Castle try and figure out what to do? Meanwhile Beckett wants to talk. **

Castle fidgeted on the bench in the middle of Central Park. He had gotten there early but he couldn't just sit around at home. There were benches a little further away from the statue but he chose the one closest. Beckett wanted a public place and you didn't get more public than a few feet from a statue that currently had people clambering all over. Didn't people break up with their partner in public so they couldn't make a scene. Not that he was dating Beckett, that was part of the problem. Beckett didn't want to be dating, she wanted to be friends.

Castle crossed his arms, he wasn't in a happy mood. He glared at the people on the statue, show some respect. It's not like these people were children or even teens, they were adults. The group of five adults had come along a few minutes ago, one giving a talk. He hadn't really been listening in, but as soon as the leader finished talking four of the adults scampered over to the statue and in his opinion, started desecrating it. It was a dog not a horse, yet one of the idiots was straddling the statue and holding onto its ears like reigns. He wanted to get up and say something, leave the dog alone. The bronze dog that was a statue! Yeah that's what he needed, for people to think Richard Castle had gone crazy, and was spending his days yelling at strangers in the park. Maybe it was the dread of the conversation he was about to have, that was making him over react at idiocy that was occurring in front of him.

He looked around to see if anyone else was as annoyed as he was and saw a tourist who stance suggested he wasn't crazy. The young woman he estimated to be in her early 20's had practically skipped past moments before. She was with an older woman who he assumed to be her mother. Both woman had identical smiles, their lower lip didn't quite go all the way down. Almost looking like they were biting their lower lip. The smile however was gone from the younger woman's face now. Her body language reflected his own, arms crossed, scowl on her face. When the idiots finally left the statue and went on to make more trouble in the park, the young woman uncrossed her arms. Grabbing her camera from her bag she began to snap pictures from every angle. He thought perhaps she wasn't a tourist instead some kind of art student considering the amount of photos she was taking and from the different angles. That theory was abolished when the young woman opened her mouth.

"Mum can you seriously believe we are here in New York City. AHHH"

She then did a little dance. Not an art student, I very excited tourist, he guessed from the accent, Australian. He watched as she ran back to the woman, he now knew for sure to be her mother and handed her the camera. Dropping her bag at her mothers feet, she quickly fixed her hair before heading over towards the statue. She climbed up the rocks the dog stood on with the ease of a mountain goat, despite her inadequate footwear. Unlike the idiots, the woman lovingly wrapped her arms around the bronzed dog and rested her head against the dogs. The dog was a statue yet she was treating it like it was real, patting and stroking it She posed for a few pictures grinning so much that even his face hurt, before giving the dog a final pat and climbed back down. The delight on her face as she looked at her photos then twirled around and skipped off to another location, made Castle smile. Four grown people had treated the statue with disrespect yet one young woman erased all that with her kindness. A light in a darkened room, the woman was like a ray of sunshine. Bad things happened but all you needed was to find a way to make things right, better. He needed to find his ray of sunshine. He needed to find something to make him want to twirl with delight.

Glancing around, he looked for Beckett but didn't see her anywhere. A few more tourists had come to look at the statue; a young woman in a pink shirt and sunglasses was walking towards it while a pregnant lady with toddler was walking away from it. Pulling out his phone he checked the time, Beckett should be here by now. Had she decided not to come?

"Beating my high score."

Castle looked at the pink shirt lady, who sat down beside him. She sounded like Beckett, although she didn't look like Beckett normally did. No heels, t shirt, hair in a pony tail, sunglasses on, this was not the Beckett he was used to seeing. She removed her sunglasses and he saw that her face was free of makeup. She looked tired, washed out, so small and frail.

"Beckett, I almost didn't recognise you." He looked at her shirt and jeans then at the white ball of cotton stuck to the inside of her elbow. She'd had a blood test that much he knew for sure. At least she was getting some professional help.

"Yeah I was kind of in a rush today."

He noticed that she wasn't looking up at him, instead preferring to pick at her nails. It was as if there was a Beckett clone sitting before him. Where was the eye contact, the steely gaze, the bad ass attitude? Guilt swarmed over him, she had been getting better, she hadn't been this bad. Now because he couldn't restrain himself, she had slipped deeper into the darkness. This was his fault.

"Castle, look" How did she put this. "I ummm." I'm a coward. "Last night, well." Last night was the most amazing night of my life, but it can't happen again. Even thinking it made her feel sick. How could she say it out loud. She knew she had to , for Alexis sake, for Castles sake. "The thing is" Beckett gave a frustrated growl and looked away, she couldn't do this.

Castle stared at the shell of a woman he once knew. She was trying to let him down easy, yet she was finding it difficult. He was causing her pain, distress and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He had to fix this; he had to tear out his own heart.

"Listen Beckett I think we got a bit carried away last night got, caught up in the moment."

She now turned and looked at him shock clearly evident on her face.

"You do?" he did?

Castle tucked his left hand behind himself and crossed his fingers.

"I do"

Oh how, so many of his fantasies had ended or rather began with him saying 'I Do' to Beckett. This wasn't a fantasy, this was a nightmare.

"We are friends and we crossed a line. I hope a bit of craziness last night hasn't destroyed our friendship. You, Lanie, Ryan, Esposito, The Captain, you're the first real friends I've ever really had. You don't suck up to me, or are only friends with me because of my money or my connections. Our friendship means a lot to me. I don't know what I'd do if I lost that."

He parroted back what Esposito had told him. He hoped if Beckett heard her own words than she would feel ok about what happened.

"It means a lot to me to Castle."

Castle nodded, if felt good to hear that. Not a total and complete rejection of him.

"Can we go back to the way things were before." She seemed almost nervous about this request.

"Before when?" Before last night. Before last week, when?

"Before we were stuck in the freezer together, I felt normal before then."

"You are normal" he told her grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. He felt physically sick when Beckett extracted her hands from his quickly and moved away slightly. What was going on, it was just a squeeze on the hand. Nothing sexual at all, something Ryan or Esposito would do to her to offer her reassurance, yet she shied away from him.

"Beckett?"

He watched as she fidgeted with her hands. Rubbing them over and over again as if she were washing them, but there was no water or soap in sight.

"I think we need to lay off the physical contact. No touching, hugging, kissing, sleeping together, everything. It's how it all started and I think to preserve our friendship we need to do this. "

Castle took in what she had said, sleeping as in sleeping or as in... He shook his head it didn't matter. No physical contact meant none, nothing, nada. Becketts demeanour was suddenly worrying him. The way she had pulled her hand out of his grasp, moved away. No eye contact. The no touching rule. Oh God no. He didn't want to think it but... No! No it wasn't possible. She said she needed him, but what if she had needed him differently. His bottom lip began to tremble.

"Beckett last night."

"Can we please not talk about it Castle. I think it's better if we just put it behind us. Move on."

No, please no. Castle couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it.

"Beckett please I just have to ask you one question then I promise I will never ever bring it up."

Oh why did he have to say that again? He definitely thought of throwing up again.

"Ok Castle, what do you want to know?"

He took a deep breath. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I mean at the time you with ok with what was going on right." He tried to replay the night's event in his head. Yes he had been the one to initiate the first kiss but he had been gentle, light. If she hadn't wanted to be kissed she could have stopped it, but she hadn't. Beckett had pulled his head down to hers, had forced him to touch her.

Beckett's eyes widened. "What?"

Castle looked at her timidly, "Last night was consensual, right?"

Beckett's mouth gaped open. "Oh god Castle, yes of course last night was consensual. How could you think that?"

Castle shrugged. "You won't look at me. You moved away from me, didn't want me to touch you."

Pain gripped the detectives' heart. The man, who had given her one of the most glorious nights of her life, now thought the night was about pain and violence. She wasn't supposed to touch him, she wasn't supposed to lead him on but she couldn't have him continuing to think the horrible thing he was thinking.

"Castle you didn't rape me last night, ok. I want you to erase that thought from your mind."

When he refused to look at her Beckett knew she had to break her own rule, this once. She picked up his hand and brought it to her lips, placing a chaste kiss to the back of it. Lowering it she shuffled a little closer to him and placed there joined hands on his leg.

"I wanted last night to happen, Castle. Last night was the most wonderful unexpected thing to ever happen to me. I will never forget it ok."

Castle looked down at their joined hands. She had said last night was wonderful, unexpected but wonderful. He knew she had to be telling the truth because she had just gone and done something she had said they couldn't do. Touch him. As if she could read his thoughts she let go of his hand.

"Castle the truth is I am so messed up right now" she laughed. "I guess that's something you already know. The point is, it's gone on for too long, I need professional help. Not that I don't appreciate everything you have done for me, I do. I never would have survived the last few weeks without you but I think it's time I went solo. We have been treating the symptoms but not the problem. I went and saw a doctor today; she took some blood and is going to run some tests. Just the regular stuff nothing major but I guess it's a start to healing right? Ill need to leave soon, I have another appointment with a shirk" She laughed again. "I never thought I'd end up seeing a shrink voluntarily but I guess I need to try and figure out what's going on."

He had to be strong; he had to be strong for Beckett. She was doing all the right things, she was seeking help. Help that wasn't coming from him and he hated that. His rational mind told him it what was best for her but he didn't want to be rational, he wanted to throw caution to the wind. Although that's what he had done last night which is how they ended up in this very situation. All he could do is be there in whatever capacity she needed and hoped that would be enough for him,

"I'm glad you're seeking help."

"Thank you for understanding Castle. Thank you for all you have done for me." With that she stood up and took a step back.

"So I'll see you tomorrow," He asked.

He watched as she bit her lip. Oh no she wasn't reconsidering their partnership too.

"Would it be ok if we have a few days apart? I mean I know you haven't been at the precinct for awhile but I just really need to do this on my own and if your there..."

Castle nodded. He understood, if he was around her he would want to do everything in his power to help her. Alexis had been four when she had explained out loud that she could do it on her own daddy. He had only been buttoning her jacket but he understood then just as he understood now. It wasn't about not accepting help, it was about needing to stand on their own two feet.

"How long?" he asked.

"A few days. Maybe you should take the rest of the week off. Come back Monday, start fresh. You can use this opportunity to catch up on some writing. I've been monopolizing your time lately, with spending your days at the precinct and then your night trying to help me to sleep; I'm assuming you haven't gotten much done."

He offered her a brief smile as if agreeing with her.

"Well I need to get to this appointment. Bye."

Castle watched as Beckett walked away from him. Away from HIM! He closed his eyes and threw his head back. He needed to stop being so melodramatic, Oh God he was so his mothers son. She wasn't walking away from him; she wasn't walking off into the sunset never to be seen again. She was simply going to an appointment, going to get help. Things were going to be ok; this is what he wanted, for her to be ok again. Instead of getting up Castle sat on the bench watching the world fly past him. Beckett was right, he really should be writing, but you had to be in the right mood to write. The only thing he felt like writing was dark. Dark and soulless. Nothing he should be putting the name Richard Castle too. Unless he came up with a pseudonym and the perfect one sprang to mind almost immediately. Richard Head. It defined how he felt right now. Beckett was getting help, he kept trying to get that through his own thick skull, yet it wasn't penetrating. He knew he was acting like a spoilt brat, he wasn't allowed to play with his favourite toy so he was having a tantrum. He had gone two years without kissing her, without falling asleep with her in his arms. Why was it so hard now? Castle stood up and started walking away in the opposite direction from the way Beckett had gone. It was so hard now because he had visited heaven and he never wanted to leave.

Authors Note. Thanks to all of those who have left wonderful reviews. Hang in there it does get better, but it may have to get a little worse, Ekkk

In case you were wondering, although you probably wern't. Castle reaction to people on the Balto statue was actually the way I acted when I was on holiday in New York City in Aug 2010. I seriously wanted to strangle those stupid adults, haa haa. However I was the Aussie tourist that made things better by hugging Balto. Check out my profile pic it will show you.

OMG I am glad I had this chapter written as I have come down sick again, In the middle of summer. Coughing, sniffing, sinus all blocked with yucky stuff. Can anyone send Castle to come and look after me. I wish , lol. Any home remidies you guys gout to make me feel better.


	25. Chapter 25

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Castle and Beckett end there unorthodox relationship after Alexis finds out they slept together.**

Alexis entered her home and frowned at the darkness. It was 7 but she assumed her father would be home by now. She had texted him earlier telling him she was having dinner with Paige. He had texted back and given her permission, not that she really needed it. He told her he would be home when she got home, but she knew his schedule was all over the place. She flicked on the lights dropped her bag and went to walk up the stairs when something caught her eye. She turned towards the couch and noticed a shape, was that a pillow or her Dads head.

"Dad?"

Alexis walked around the couch to look at her father. Had he fallen asleep sitting up, it wouldn't be the first time. There was one time he had fallen asleep on the toilet and fallen off, a memory she was trying to erase, with no avail. What she saw shocked her, her Dad was sitting up staring straight ahead.

"Dad" she screamed leaning forward and shaking him.

He jolted in his seat and then looked at his daughter, a look of confusion on his face.

"Alexis, what's going on?"

"That's what I want to know. Dad you're sitting in the dark."

His eyes were vacant as he looked around.

"No I'm not."

Alexis shook her head as she sat down next to him. "That's because I turned the light on. Dad is everything ok." A scary thought hit her. "Is Gram ok? Oh my God did something happen to her."

She watched as he turned and looked at her an almost robotic way about his movements.

"I don't think so," he then turned back to look at, well Alexis wasn't sure.

What was her father looking at? Alexis placed her head next to her Dads and tried to see what he was focusing on. Nothing, there was nothing there. A wall. He was looking at a wall. He was sitting in the dark without knowing it, staring at a wall.

"Dad. Are you working on a confusing case? Do you want to talk to me about it? "

He robotically turned to her again. "Case, what case, are you going somewhere?" he was really having trouble understanding his daughter today.

"Dad what happened to you today? You're scaring me."

Scared, he was scared. Scared that he would never see Beckett again. Scared that she would never be ok. Scared that she would be ok and decide she didn't need him in her life. Scared that he would never have a chance to prove to Beckett that he was a regular decent guy. Scared he would never get a chance to tell Beckett how much he cared for her. He was scared. He was scared and Alexis was scared. Alexis was scared! Castle turned quickly to his daughter. She was scared, he had scared his daughter.

"Oh pumpkin come here," he opened his arms and his daughter entered them. "I'm sorry honey," he held onto his daughter and squeezed her tight.

"Are you ok Dad? Did you have a tough case; was it a child that was murdered?" Her father was getting used to seeing dead bodies but when they were young they seemed to affect him more, not that she blamed him. She knew he didn't like discussing those cases with her; he usually just liked a hug and some time watching movies on the couch. Maybe she shouldn't have gone to Paiges after school, but he said it was ok. Oh well she was here now.

"No. No case. I didn't go into today; I won't be going in for a few days."

What! Alexis pulled back and looked at her father.

"Did something happen?"

She had been thinking about her Dad and Kate all day. Paige had told her she had butted in when it wasn't her place to, but how could she not. Her father wasn't as strong as he led people to believe. He wasn't Superman, he wasn't the man of steel, bullets didn't bounce of his chest. His chest was penetrable and once you got through that layer you got to his heart. She knew his heart had been broken by woman in the past, even her mother had broken it. Alexis couldn't let that happen again, she had to protect him. She smiled as her father lightly stroked her hair.

"Nothing happened. I just haven't been focusing on my writing lately. I'll be going back on Monday."

"What does Detective Beckett think about this?"

Alexis watched as her fathers eyes returned to the vacant stare he had been wearing a minute before.

"She thinks it's a good idea," he looked away from her now and raked a hand through his hair. He then stood up and walked away without a word to her.

Alexis turned on the couch and watched as her father walked away from her. His head was hanging down and he was walking slowly.

"Dad?"

"I'm heading to bed, I don't feel too good."

Alexis watched his retreating back. He was upset, he was hurting, a total contrast to the man she had seen this morning. He had spoken to Kate, he had to have. He would have mentioned not going to the precinct this morning, if he had known then. She doubted that he would have been happy about not going to the precinct, not seeing Kate. Finding her father staring off into the abyss was a little scary especially considering she may be the reason for it. It was just one day though. One day of pain to prevent years worth! She had done the right thing; at least she thought she had. She looked in the direction her father had gone, it was eerily silent. Silence and her Dad weren't a good thing, Alexis slid down slightly on the couch. One day at a time.

Castle stared at his bed, he wasn't really tired but he still wanted to go to sleep. He wanted to sleep and forget that this day ever happened. Maybe if he went to sleep he would wake up and discover it was all a dream. What was the dream though, Beckett rejecting him, or making love to Beckett. He wanted to erase Beckett rejecting him; if that was a dream then as the day wore on he would forget it. It would also mean if the rejection was a dream then he would wake up next to Beckett. He didn't want making love to Beckett to be a dream; he didn't want to erase that ever. Even though it had lead to the rejection. Oh he was so messed up, maybe he should be a seeing a shirk too.

Castle shed his clothes he had spent so much time agonising over earlier that morning. He looked at the pile and decided he better picked them up. Alexis was already worried about him the last thing he needed was him tripping over them. Picking them up in one big armful he violently threw them towards his chest of drawers. One shoe hit the top of the drawers and then fell off, Castle sighed, his aim was way off with everything today. He walked over to his shoes bent down to pick up the shoe but his gaze focused on the lower drawer. The drawer contained Beckett's pyjamas, towel and other things he had organised for her. Dropping the shoe on top of the drawers with his other items he opened the drawer. He stood there staring at the items, should he get rid of them? She had only ever used the pyjamas but the point of the other items was if she ever needed them they were there. There partnership was still intact at least as far as he knew, just because she wouldn't be sleeping over didn't mean she wouldn't be coming over. If she ever did and spilled something on her clothes she could use the items. He was really grasping at straws now. Castle picked up the t shirt and looked it over. It was his own shirt but it would forever be known as Becketts. He opened the shirt and slipped it over his head; he wiggled as he pulled the shirt over his chest. It was a little snug but it was covered in Becketts scent so it felt like she was surrounding him, hugging him tight. He grabbed the shorts and undid the drawstring Beckett had pulled tight in order to stop the pants from falling down. Slipping the shorts over his adult underwear that he had to search for this morning, he had been buying way too many superhero underpants lately. Crossing to his bed Castle looked at it. In the past he had slept right in the middle and stretched out starfish style. On warm nights he liked nothing better than to slide between the cold sheets naked. After a big case when he was feeling pumped he would lay on his side and start running, slow motion, superhero style. He would hum that song they always played when a runner wins a sprit and they replayed it in slow motion. dum dum diddi dum dum, dum dum diddi dum. He didn't feel like being a superhero tonight, he felt like a villain. Pulling back the covers he slipped into bed, on Becketts side, he grabbed the pillow she normally slept on and turned it sideways. He then rubbed his face into the pillow and hugged it tight. He had done the same thing only weeks ago, but he had been happy then. Now he was sad, extremely sad. Closing his eyes a tear ran down his face cheek and then another and then another. There was still a chance he had a future with Beckett, after all he hadn't acted like this when she had started dating Josh. He sniffed back tears, things were different now, he knew it. Beckett wasn't the only one who had been affected by three near death experiences. He had always thought he lived by the seat of his pants not putting off until tomorrow what should be done today; writing was the exception of course. Yet he had done that with Beckett, had not taken the time to win her heart. He had dated people he knew he had no intention of loving. He had made mistakes but he vowed he wasn't going to do that anymore. Beckett breaking up with Josh had been his green light; he hadn't wanted to confess his feelings for her while she was with another man. Unless he was sure she wasn't 100% invested in that relationship. There time at the Hamptons had been the start of something amazing, how had it gone so downhill from there. Castle hugged his pillow tighter; memories of the Hamptons flooded his mind. The memories were almost like a dream, a fantasy of what he wanted the rest of his life to turn out like. After a busy week of work the family would head out to the Hamptons for a weekend getaway. Board games and movies when the weather outside was bad and when the sun was shining, walks on the beach developing new stories while his wife sat nearby reading his books. Wife! Wife! Ok that really was a fantasy, Beckett didn't even want to sit close to him let alone marry him. He thought marriage was out of his mind for good obviously he was wrong. Lying in his bed alone felt so strange. Yes there had been a few woman to warm his bed over the last few years. A few, not a lot and not for very long. He had spent many night alone yet he had never felt like this, not even after the breakup of both his marriages. He felt so lonely, so empty. Had this been what Beckett was talking about. The emptiness, the loneliness, the cold damp feeling that was infiltrating his heart. No wonder turning her heat on and putting a few pictures up hadn't helped. Pulling the covers over his head he hoped sleep would consume him soon.

Alexis heard the front door open and almost held her breath thinking it was Kate. What would she do? What would she say? Should she give her another chance to explain herself? Thankfully it was just her grandmother.

"Hello darling."

Alexis gave her Grandmother a brief smile.

"Hey."

"Is your father home?"

Alexis nodded.

"He went to bed."

Alexis watched as her grandmother looked off in the direction of his room. She then quickly glided over to the couch on tip toes.

"It's still early, is Kate with him or is she going to sneak in soon. Should we make ourselves scarce?"

"Kate won't be coming over anymore."

Alexis turned her back and suddenly realised what her dad found so interesting about staring at the wall. Staring at the nothingness cleared your mind.

"Why? Did something happen?"

Martha came around the couch and sat next to her granddaughter who did not look happy. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was staring at the wall.

"Dad went out last night and he didn't come home until this morning. He was singing Disney songs at breakfast. Dad and Kate had sex last night. Gram"

Martha smiled. "Really, that's fantastic. Well this is good news honey. It's what we have been hoping for. So he went to bed early huh, Kate wore him out huh, finally met his match." Martha rubbed her hands with glee. Her sons love life had so many ups and downs, and she wasn't just talking about in the bedroom. It was good for him to have someone genuine in her life.

"Gram" Alexis practically shouted. "They had sex, they are not a couple, they are not together, yet they had sex. Kate had an itch and used Dad as a scratching post."

Martha wrapped her arms around her granddaughter.

"Oh you don't know that."

Alexis nodded her head resting on her grandmothers chest. "Yes I do. I went around and saw Kate." A tear rolled down Alexis' cheek. "She stood there and lied right to my face, tried to tell me nothing was going on. Like I wouldn't notice her sneaking out of the house in the morning. Like I didn't sit here for hours poring over those photos with Dad to try and figure out which ones would look good in her apartment. I didn't study for a test so I could scrapbook the photo of everyone at the precinct and us. Why Gram, why? Why do woman I love keep hurting me, hurting Dad. Are we flawed, is it some genetic defect. Do you have it too or does it come from my grandfathers side, is that why he's not in your life?"

Martha kissed her granddaughter on the head and squeezed.

"Oh honey, you're not flawed. Or maybe we all are, we look for the good in people and find it hard to believe people we love can hurt us. Just give Kate and your father some time, there adults they will figure it out."

Alexis sat up and wiped her face. "No, they won't. Dad will keep doing whatever Kate wants and Kate will keep taking advantage of it. I asked her if she was in love with Dad and she told me she didn't think she was capable of loving anyone. What kind of person says that?"

She was right about one think Kate had lied. Lied about not being able to love. That was the biggest lie she had heard in awhile. She had seen Kates love with her own eyes. Martha struggled to find the right way to address this issue with her granddaughter.

"Darling." Martha took a deep breath and blew it out in a huff. "Everyone has issues."

"Yeah but when some ones issues, start giving me issues, than it becomes an issue. I told Kate if she has no intention of loving Dad than she can just stay away."

"Alexis," she wanted to tell the child off, she really did. However Alexis was only doing what she thought was right, protecting her father. Considering he was her son she really should be doing it herself.

"What Gram, what should I have done. Let Kate walk all over him. Kiss him, hug him, sleep with him. Have him fall even deeper in love with her only for Kate to tell him she can't love him. No, I won't let that happen. It's not going to happen. I told Kate to leave Dad alone."

Martha sighed was it the right thing to do, she didn't know. Her granddaughter had made a decision on her sons half, the best thing she could do was give her support.

AUTHORS NOTE, THANKS ALL FOR YOU LOVELY REVIEWS


	26. Chapter 26

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Castle isn't dealing well with Becketts rejection while Alexis tries to justify her actions. **_

Beckett looked at her keyboard as she typed; she was reluctant to look at her screen. On her screen in the corner was the time and she had banned herself from looking at the clock. She had even taken off her father's watch to avoid temptation. It was currently sitting on her desk face side down. Monday mornings, she had never really understood the whole I hate Mondays, but for the first time in her life she did. Monday was the day Castle came back to work, Monday 9 am. It had been five days, five long agonising days since she had seen him. Seen him in the flesh at least, she now had photos of him everywhere. It was impossible not to look at them, especially when she sat there on her couch just staring at them.

After she had seen the shirk, she had spent hours driving around the city. She was supposed to stay positive, the shirk wasn't going to fix her straight away. Oh who was she kidding, she thought the shirk was useless. Let's talk about your mother, how typical. Yes she did have issues concerning her mother, had spent ages in therapy for them. This was different, at least she thought it was. She couldn't sleep and her apartment made her feel weird, that was why she was going to the shrink. It wasn't until the last five minutes of their session that they had even addressed her insomnia. Not that it did a lot of good. Everything the shrink told her, Castle had already given her information about. Her apartment was warm, dimly lit, calming surrounds with the pictures of her friends and family. It hadn't worked. After hours of driving around the city she eventually ventured home, only to leave again. She had packed a few things and then headed over to Lanies. Earlier that day had been the first time she had confided in Lanie in quite some time. Castle had been right about what he said to Josh. Her friends for filled certain duties in her life, she had needed Castle to comfort her but maybe she had needed Lanie for consult to. If she had maybe she wouldn't be in the middle of this mess.

She had spent two nights at Lanies, much to Esposito's dismay, and her waistlines. Together the two of them had made love to copious amounts of ice cream while watching movies. Luckily Lanie had a crush on Brad Pitt, she didn't know what she would have done if the main character had been tall, had dark features and was ruggedly handsome. Especially considering they were watching ROMCOMs, there would have been tears of sadness not of joy

8:55.

Crap. She looked at the clock on the screen, she wasn't supposed to do that. Five minutes until Castle turned up, five minutes until she faced the rest of her life. Would she be able to do this, would he? Could they go back to the way things were, before they nearly died in each other arms? She closed her eyes and allowed the memories to flood her mind. Her eyes snapped open at which memory had entered her mind. Not of the two of them in the freezer holding each other waiting for death to consume them, the memory she expected to remember. It wasn't even the memory of them embracing after Castle had successfully disabled the bomb. No, the image she had resurrected from the deep corners of her mind, had been of them making love. How had her mind confused dying in each others arms with making... Oh my god had she really just thought making love. No they hadn't, had they? No? Surely not, but maybe... No they had, had s... No that didn't sound right, she couldn't even think it let alone say it. Shared something special, yes that's what she would call it. Yet that didn't seem right either. What they ahd shared was almost indescribable. Lanie had tried to broach the subject numerous times throughout her stay but she had ended it there. She wasn't ready to discuss it, yet. She needed Lanie time, not lanie time talking about Castle. The point was she needed to get past it, so they could work together. No matter what IT was called. Maybe they shouldn't have decided to go back to before the freezer. It should have been back to when they had first met, she hadn't liked him much then. Ok now she was lying to herself, she really was sick. Maybe she needed to see some kind of specialist.

Beckett took a long sip of her coffee; it was going to be a long day. Castle had texted her last night asking if they were working on a case and when he should come in. A case had just been wrapped up but she had told him to come in at 9. She figured it would be easier to face him at the precinct then over a dead body. He could also catch up with the guys who were complaining about him not being there. It had been a shock to see his smiling face appear on her phone. She had spent the two previous nights staring at the photos on her wall, it was as shock to see a different photo. A shock and a delight, she had almost texted _come over. _He was her friend though, and she wasn't feeling friendly thoughts about him. He was even invading her dreams, in the little sleep she got. She had watched Castle standing in front of a woman, pain clearly on his face. Her dream self had approached the woman spun her around and it was like looking into a mirror. A fight had immediately broke out fists and legs flying everywhere. It only stopped because she had punched her alarm clock off the bedside table.

Taking another sip of her coffee she almost chocked when the elevator pinged. It was Castle and he held two coffees in his hand. Crap Alexis had told her not to even accept his coffee; he only got it because she liked it. She turned and quickly sculled what was left of her coffee. Opening her desk drawer she crammed the cup inside before grabbing some mints and throwing them into her mouth. Spying the coffee ring on her desk Beckett scrambled for a scrap of paper to cover it with just as Castle strode up.

"Good Morning Detective Beckett."

Beckett looked up at him and frowned. He didn't look good. Well he always looked good, but today he looked different. Tired, drained, serious. He handed her one of the cups and she had to clench her hands into fists to stop herself from automatically accepting it. She looked back at her computer screen.

"Actually Castle I appreciate it but I have gone off Coffee," she swirled the mints around in her mouth so her breath wouldn't reveal her lie.

"Oh," Castle looked down at the takeaway cups in his hands. Then a thought hit him "Oh," he said more loudly.

Beckett looked up at his loud exclamation and then watched in confusion as he quickly ran around the precinct. He handed one cup of coffee to the new guy, who's name she had only recently discovered was actually Nugui. Castle then threw what must have been his cup away and then ran to her desk and went to open her drawer where her forbidden coffee cup was hiding. Her hand went to the drawer to stop it from opening.

"What are you doing?"

Castle frowned at her, then covered his mouth when he began to speak.

"I was just going to grab one of your mints so you can't smell the coffee on my breath."

Becketts brows rose, "Why?"

"Because we need to talk privately and I don't want you to smell the coffee."

Beckett opened the drawer enough to slide her hand in and retrieved the mints for Castle. She didn't hand them to him instead placed them on the desk beside her before retuning back to her work on the screen.

"Look Castle I think we have talked enough, we just need to move on."

Castle sat in his chair, the chair she had spent so much time over the last few days staring at. He leant forward and looked at her seriously.

"This is different I think we need to address it now."

"Castle no, ok," Why was he making this so hard? He was the one who agreed to this. If he wanted to talk why hadn't he called in the last five days, texted even. She had needed space but she would have spoken to him to avoid a messy discussion at work. Didn't he realise how hard it was for her to do this.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed before pulling out his phone. She looked out of the corner of her eye as he fiddled with it. Probably playing angry birds she thought. When her own phone went off signifying a message she picked it up and rolled her eyes when she saw it was a message from Castle. He gave her a look as if to say I told you we needed to talk. She humoured him by opening the message and then her mouth gaped open at the words that appeared before her.

_**Are you pregnant ?**_

Her brow furrowed as she turned to look at him her mouth still hanging open. He opened his mouth to speak but she held her hand up to stop him then closed her hand and lowered her arm then looked away from him. She took a few breaths before standing up and striding off. She stopped and turned to look at the writer who was looking at her curiously.

"You coming?"

She turned and walked off towards the stairwell, assuming he would follow. Once she entered she realised this was a bad idea, the last time she had been here talking with Castle she had hit him. The second most horrible event in her life. She could take him into the interrogation room but didn't want to take a chance that Ryan and Esposito would be watching from the other side. Walking down a few steps she sat down and rested her back against the wall, noticing Castle had followed suit.

"So why did you think I was pregnant?"

"You said you were laying off the coffee, sometimes pregnant woman hate the smell of coffee, it makes them throw up. Doctors usually recommend staying off the caffeine too."

Beckett frowned at his comment.

"You didn't think that maybe, my Doctors thought too much caffeine was causing me insomnia."

Castle nodded at her. "Yeah there is that but we didn't use protection."

Becketts face changed from a frown to a blank stare. What!

Castle turned and looked down the stairs before running a hand through his hair. "I am so sorry Beckett, I am never this careless. I always use a condom. I can't believe I was so careless. I was just so caught up in the moment it's never been like that before. I can't believe I wasn't thinking about protecting you."

Beckett could see he was obviously distressed, and there wasn't really any reason to be.

"I'm assuming there was at least one other time you didn't use protection." She tried to lighten the mood.

Castle shook his head. "You think I am this reckless playboy."

She interrupted him before he could say anything else stupid."I meant because of Alexis, your ex wife doesn't exactly come across as the Virgin Mary."

Castle took in what she said and nodded. "Oh"

He turned to look down the stairs again.

"Meredith and I were dating for a few months when she complained she didn't like the feel of condoms. Said it felt like she was fucking a Ken doll. It was quite a hit to the anatomy considering Ken doesn't have any. So she told me she was on the pill and I stopped using them. Six months later she tells me she is pregnant, said she had been sick the week she got pregnant, probably threw the pill up."

Beckett nodded, when she was younger she had been on the pill and told to be careful and use extra protection if she had been ill or forgot to take a dose.

"It wasn't until we were at the Doctor for a check up and Meredith had to go pee. The Doc congratulated me and said he told Meredith to keep trying and to have faith we would eventually get pregnant it would just take time."

Beckett was surprised to here this little insight into Castles life. She assumed he had fallen in love gotten married and then had Alexis. She was a fan of his work but wasn't the kind to know every little detail.

"I'm sorry Castle I didn't realise Meredith trapped you into marriage." If she had know she would never had joked about it.

"It was a shot gun wedding but no one held a shot gun to my head so to speak. I cared about Meredith , I really did, the truth was I cared more about my unborn child. I grew up without a father and I think I turned out ok but I saw how hard it was for my mother. Trying to work while trying to figure out who was going to watch me, a bunch of other stuff. I didn't want that for my child so I married Meredith. I vowed to love her because she was my wife and the mother of my child."

"That's an honourable thing to do."

Castle shook his head. "No it isn't, where is the honour in marring someone you don't truly love. Just another example of my best intentions turning out to be failures."

Beckett sighed, he had to be talking about them, about her. He had the best intentions when it came to helping her out with her problems and it had just made things worse.

"After a while we started to drift apart, we had less and less in common and then she cheated on me."

Becketts eyes bulged, Meredith cheated on Castle!

"You know I stayed with her for three months after I found out, three months! My stupid best intentions again, I thought it would be best for Alexis. I couldn't have been more wrong. One night I went to tuck Alexis in and give her a hug and a kiss. She shook her head, told me she knew I didn't like to be hugged and kissed so I didn't have to hug her."

"What, you're a big hugging family," images of Alexis hugging her instantly made her feel sad. She wouldn't be doing that anymore. Hugging Alexis, hugging her like her mother had done. An unexpected feeling of despair filled her. No longer would she feel that.

"Meredith figured we would continue on as usual with our relationship, but just because I was staying, didn't mean I was. I moved into my own room, would have to peel Meredith off me whenever she would try and hug and kiss me. Alexis must have seen this. I packed my bags that night, I couldn't have my daughter thinking i didn't want her cuddles. I had just opened the door when Meredith practically threw Alexis at me, told me she couldn't handle her on her own. Alexis the best kid in the world and Meredith couldn't handle her. I hadn't planned on leaving Alexis there for long, I was going to stay in a hotel and then speak to a lawyer in the morning. It was nine at night and I didn't want to pull her out of bed, but Meredith did. My daughter had to experience her mother giving her up in a matter of seconds. I hated myself for that. Hated that I put out my own child through that. So from then on I vowed that I would always use protection, even if the woman told me she was covered. No way was I letting my child go through that." He looked up at her now, sadness in his eyes. "I am so sorry I didn't protect you."

Becketts heart was breaking for the man before her. He was such an iceberg.

"Castle you don't have to feel sorry for anything."

"But I didn't protect you."

"I didn't protect me either Castle and that was very stupid. There is more at stake here than pregnancy there's, diseases to."

His eyes widened, he hadn't even thought of that.

"I'm clean. I swear, I can give you the report from the Doctor"

Beckett shook her head. "If you say you're clean Castle then I believe you. I am clean to, in fact I've never done it without one before, so we are defintly safe. The point is we should have used protection but the onus is on both of us, not just you."

Castle nodded she was right, it took two to tango and two to remember the condom. The thought of being Becketts first without one stuck in his mind thought. He was Becketts first. It shouldn't have happened but he couldn't help but be a little bit happy by that idea, was that wrong ?

"You don't have to worry about me being pregnant, I've got it covered."

"The pill isn't 100% effective."

"I'm not on the pill, it doesn't work for me."

Castle frowned at her, the pill didn't work, did that mean she had gotten pregnant.

"What?"

"Oh no, not that" she responded as if reading his mind. "I went on the pill, when I was 17 because..."

She looked at Castle who was looking at her expectantly. Did she really want to tell him this, did he really want to know. Most guys usually ran for the hills when ever woman mentioned the P word. Yet he was worried that he had somehow violated her body and he needed to know that it was ok. He had also just revealed a very intimate and hurtful event from his past. She should let him know a little about her own.

"I got a lot of pain once a month."

Castle continued to frown at her.

"A lot of pain at my time of the month," she explained.

His brows turned from frowning to understanding.

"I went on the pill when I was 17 to combat the pain. It worked for awhile but then the pain came back. I spent years changing from pill after pill. and Had two exploratory surgeries with some experimental procedures but nothing worked. It wasn't until I saw my second Gyno, the one who was into the experimental stuff, that I saw some progress. He kept giving me options if the next thing we were trying didn't work. I have got this thing inserted into my arm, it's about the size of a tooth pick. It works great at stopping the pain but its a contraceptive too. I don't have to worry about forgetting to take it or throwing up and getting pregnant. So we are safe on that front."

Beckett sat there and watched as he nodded, there was nothing to worry about. Except for the fact she wanted to place her hand on his knee reassuringly. Hold his hand and give it a squeeze to say thank you for being so worried and concerned about her. Brush back that strand of hair that fel so deliously over his eyebrow. Heck she was in trouble. She stood up. Sitting so close together in a stairwell was a bad idea.

"I should thank you for sending me a text about what you wanted to talk about. Not bringing it up in the precinct even thought I didn't want to talk. I appreciate it."

Castle nodded, and stood up to.

"You know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, or embarrass you, or make things hard for you at work."

He raised his hand and ran it down the side of her arm. Up and down. Up and down. Beckett closed her eyes and revelled in the sensation. Her breathing became laboured as he continued to stroke her arm. Up and down. Up and down. Beckett opened her eyes and ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips.

"Castle" his name whispered from her lips.

His arm dropped suddenly.

"Right, sorry, no touching got it."

His mood changed instantly, she could tell from years of interrogating. He had gone from sweet and caring to tense and standoffish.

"We should probably get out of here" he told her not waiting for her to respond. He simply walked off.

"I'll be back in a sec."

He nodded but didn't look back at her just continued to walk with his head held down. Once he left Beckett placed her hands on her face and let out a groan. Her hands slid down her face to her neck staying there for a few seconds before they bunched into fists. She lowered them to her sides and let out another loud groan while she ran on the spot and shock her hands in frustration. One day! She couldn't even go one day without him touching her, without her wanting to touch him. Ok yes they had spent days apart but he had been at the precinct for a whole ten minutes before the incident had occurred. Ten minutes! How was she supposed to get through the rest of her life if she couldn't get through ten minutes.

Beckett rested her back against the wall and knocked her head against it, over and over again. Why did he make her feel this way? Why did he have the ability to make her shiver while at the same time filling her body with such heat? Beckett stopping hitting her head against the wall and gave herself one more shake. as if ridding her body from the sensation that was thrumming throughout her. Yeah , like that was going to work. Taking a deep breath she straighten her back and strode back into the precinct, she could do this. Seeing Castle standing with Ryan and Esposito laughing made her stop short. His smile was infectious, the way his face crinkled, the light in his eyes. Beckett turned and went back into the stairwell. She needed a few more minutes to get a hold of herself. Minutes huh, more like hours.

AUTHORS NOTE: THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR WONDERFUL YOUR REVIEWS AND FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY.


	27. Chapter 27

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Becketts attempt at trying not to lead Castle on by stop accepting his coffee backfires on her when Castle assumes she is pregnant. After the pair have a heart to heart talk Castle assures her he would never do anything to hurt her. He then breaks the rules by running his hand over Becketts arm causing her to rethink her whole stupid decision. **_

Beckett stared at the door before her; it was easy. All she had to do was knock, plain and simple. raise her hand and tap at the door, yet she was oddly nervous. It had been awhile since she had been here and she felt guilty about it. She had keys, she could just open the door herself and walk in. No. She would knock, I was respectful to do that. Taking a deep breath she raised her hand and knocked and waited for destiny. The door opened and she gave a brief smile.

"Hey, I hope its ok I just stopped by."

"Of course come in."

Beckett walked in but then stopped and watched as the man closed the door behind them. He then turned and smiled at her and she couldn't resist throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a big hug.

"I've missed you," she told him.

"I've missed you to."

Beckett felt his arms circle around her waist and hold her tight. Beckett closed her eyes and smiled. It had been so long since she felt this sensation and she knew from now on this was going to be a regular occurrence.

"You know I love you right."

Beckett squealed when she felt her feet lift off the ground and the man holding her, laugh.

"Daddy," she squealed slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

Her father lowered her to the ground.

"Oh it's good to see you again. Katie girl."

"You to."

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, how long had it been since she had done that, too long.

"Is everything ok?"

Becketts brows rose at hearing the sound of a female voice. At first shock hit her, there was a woman in her father's home, then she saw the coy smile on her father's face. Beckett couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Her father gave her a stern look. "Don't get cheeky with me young lady; I can still put you over my knee. It's just Hallie from across the street."

Beckett nodded. "The recently divorced Hallie."

Now that she thought about it when she had called her father after coming back from the Hamptons with Castle and his family, he had mentioned Hallie. Actually he had mentioned her a few times. Beckett walked into the lounge and saw Hallie sitting on the couch with a cup in her hand. She had interrupted her father having coffee with this woman. Coffee huh. He said it was just Hallie and she wondered if it was just coffee too.

"Kate hi."

Beckett smiled at the woman and approached her as she stood. She had always liked Hallie, she was very different from her mother, short, pump, blonde, but made the best cookies. Beckett leaned in and kissed the woman on the cheek, surprising herself and Hallie. When had she become one of those people who hugged and kissed everyone. Since Castle had shared his world with her and she saw how wonderful it could be.

"Hi Hallie, I just stopped by to say hello. I can go if I am interrupting something."

The woman waved her off. "Don't be silly, come sit down dear. Jim why don't you go and make Kate a coffee."

Beckett watched as her father did as he was told and walked off. She sat on the couch next to Hallie and began to look around the room. Her dad had painted since she last visited, he had mentioned that on the phone. She scanned the room and then stopped when she spied the cabinet in the corner. It was where he kept his most prized possessions. Little trinkets were kept on the sides behind glass doors but there was a large space in the middle that for years had been the home of one of those silly singing bass. The bass was no longer there, much to her delight although what was there, worried her. Photos!. Two large frames and a third even larger in the middle, so large it would be hard for anyone who entered the room not to see it. Beckett stood up and approached the cabinet in the corner. She looked at the frame on the right and saw the picture of herself and Castle. the one Castle had told her, her father had asked for a copy of. She saw Castle scrawl across the bottom of it but barely glanced at the words as he eyes shifted to the other picture on the left. She frowned as she gazed at it. It was a picture of the whole gang at the precinct. Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, The Captain and of course herself and Castle.

"Here we go."

Beckett picked up the fame and turned to her father who was placing her coffee on the table.

"Dad why do you have this?"

Jim looked at the photo his daughter was holding.

"There your friends."

Beckett looked at the photo. "Yes Dad they are my friends. My friends. Why would you have a picture of them in your Brag Corner, I mean you barely know them."

Jim smiled. "Something which I would like to rectify. Rick mentioned inviting me over to a poker night but I said I'd run it by you first. I mean no kid likes having their parents hanging out with their friends."

Rick, her father was calling Castle, Rick!. Well she supposed it was his name but it was the familiarity in which the name fell from his lips that shocked her.

"Still why would you have a picture of them."

Jim picked up his own coffee and easily sat down next to Hallie.

"I have that picture because those people are important to you, they keep you safe. So they are important to me. I am proud to have them in my house."

"He also likes to warn people not to mess with him because he knows cops," Hallie added jovially.

Beckett smiled at that, she knew her father would have joked with his friends and she liked it. He was joking around, he was spending time with friends, he was spending time with lady friends. He was moving on with his life, maybe she should take a leaf out of his book. She placed the frame back in its spot and went to grab the frame in the middle but hesitated. She had been avoiding it, avoiding looking at it. Touching it almost scared her, it was just a picture she told herself. Wood, glass and a piece of paper behind it, nothing scary about those items. She grabbed the frame with both hands, she had to , it was too large to hold with just one.

"What about this one, why do you have this?"

Her father gave her a smile.

"You have no idea why I have that picture."

"No, I don't."

"Look at it, tell me what you see."

Beckett turned the picture around to look at. At first she thought it was the same picture she had in her bedroom sitting on her bedside table. Oh who was she kidding she really needed to see the shirk about all the lying to herself she was doing. The picture lay on the pillow next to her while she slept. The group shoot of the gang at the precinct laughing and Castle and his family, kept her company while she attempted to sleep. This picture looked similar to the gang shot except the gang had been cropped out to leave herself and Castle. Taking a closer looks she realised that it was totally different shot. It wasn't even a cropped shot of the one that was in her lounge where she was sitting on Castles knee. How many pictures had the photographer taken, she had obviously been oblivious to it. In this picture she wasn't so much as laying in his lap but sitting in it sideways. Both her arms were around his neck and both of his were loosely wrapped around her waist. Toothy grin smiles were reflected on both their faces as they stared at each other. Beckett looked at her father.

"I see two people pretending to laugh for a photo shoot."

Her father raised his eyebrows at her before looking at Hallie. Beckett didn't like the look the pair shared.

"Really, because what I see is a very happy man who is responsible for saving my daughters life."

Beckett put the picture down and went and sat on the ground in front of the coffee table opposite her Dad.

"Dad he has probably gotten me into more trouble than he has gotten me out of." She picked up her coffee and drank deeply. Oh god she really missed her coffee, Castles coffee.

Her father got up and walked towards another cabinet. He opened the drawers and pulled out something.

"I am not talking about now, I am talking about before. When Rick called and asked for photos of us I went thorough all the photo albums. It's been forever since I've done it but I think it did me good, until I found this picture."

A photo drooped in front of her, she spared it a glance before looking away.

"Look at it Kate, tell me what you see."

Beckett closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking back at the photo.

"I see me."

Her father shook his head.

"That's not you, That's not my Katie" he said pointing at the picture.

"Dad that picture was taken not long after mom died."

"Yes," he stabbed at the picture. "Your mother died not you, yet that's what it looks like in that photo. I know we both dealt with her death badly, instead of turning to each other we turned away. I should have been there for you and because I wasn't you turned into that. You weren't eating, sleeping, spending time with your friends, all I remember you doing is sitting on the couch staring at the tv and reading."

Beckett shook her head. "Dad what's that got to do with Castle."

Her father placed another photo in front of her.

"You wrote the date on the back. It's about 9 months after your mother died. You also wrote where it was taken and what you were feeling."

Beckett looked at the photo, it was amazing how much she changed in such a short amount of time.

"Do you know when it was taken, you can flip it over to see."

Beckett shook her head. "I know when it was taken Dad. It was the first book signing I went to."

"Ricks book signing."

Beckett nodded.

"When I first realised you were reading books about murder and mayhem I was a bit worried but look at you Kate. You look so much healthier in this picture. Your skin isn't grey, your eyes aren't so vacant, there's even a little smile on your face. Its barely there bit it's still there, because of that man."

Her father pointed to the picture that her back was now facing.

"Did you see what he signed on that picture Kate"

She shook her head, she figured it was just his usual stuff. She had been more interested in the other pictures.

"Thank you for raising an extraordinarily amazing inspirational daughter. I am forever in your debt."

Becketts eyes widened, he had called her extraordinary before, in his dedication. Yet he wrote it here again on a photo of the two of them for her father.

"He thinks he is in debt to me yet it's I who are in debt to him. He saved my daughter's life. Look at the difference between those photos Kate. Look at you in that photo with Rick, Kate. That's my Katie, the Katie I thought I would never see again. He makes you happy Kate, you can't deny it, your smiling in that photo. When I was showing Hallie pictures of you, all the ones since your mother has died your mouth was closed. You had forced tight lipped smiles, I was starting to think all that money spent on orthodontia was a waste. I was starting to think you didn't have any teeth left. Yet your smiling with Rick, your both smiling, you both look so happy. That's why I have that photo. To see my daughter as she really is and the man responsible for it."

Beckett stared at her father, she couldn't deny what he said. He was right. Castle had helped her through her mother's death, he still continued to help her. Things were more fun when he was around, she had more fun. He made her happy, he made her want to be happy.

"I know that dad but Castle and I," Beckett sighed. "We are not a couple, we are barley talking at the moment." It had been three long hard days at the precinct and three long hard nights trying to sleep. Try as they might they couldn't stop touching each other. He kept placing a hand to her back helping her in and out of doorways. She placed her hand on is arm numerous times to stop him from charging into danger. Each time she had shared a fiery look of desire with him before one of them realised what had happened and would end the contact.

"Why is that dear. Jim has told me how close the two of you are?"

Beckett bit her lip. "We were close and we were getting closer, but his daughter put a stop to it."

"Alexis," her father asked. "I thought you said you got along really well with her. You told me the two of you have a special hug like you had with your mother."

Pain filled Becketts heart. "We do, well we did. Alexis told me that if I didn't love her father than I had to stay away from him. If I didn't, she would tell her father she didn't like me and wanted him to stop seeing me. I couldn't let her do that dad, I couldn't let her ruin her relationship she ahs with her father. Her mother is a flake, he is the only real parent she has and I couldn't take that away from her. So Rick and I are friends, but friends at a distance"

Jim frowned at his daughter. "I don't understand your in love with him, why are you apart."

"Yes dear if the two of you are in love then what's the issue. His daughter only said to stay away if you don't love him, but its clear from that picture that you do." Hallie had heard a lot about the love story between Jims daughter and the writer.

Fear rocked through her body. She shook her head quickly "No, I can't love him, I don't have the ability to love. I can't be loved. Love is" Beckett paused as she tried to get her head around all the things that were swirling around in her brain. "In school, in English, for poetry we learnt about metaphors and how to over analyse things. The teacher would pick a word and we would have to write down words that described it, represented it. Love is all about heat and passion. It's bright and happy. It's togetherness, its fulfilment. I am none of those things, I'm cold dark and empty inside Dad. I can't love; I'm not built that way."

"That's nonsense Kate." Hallie told the young woman.

Jim held his hand up to holt Hallie. He was curious to the way his daughters mind worked.

"So why is it again your staying away from Rick?"

"Because Alexis told me to," was her father getting senile in his old age?

"And you listened to her because?"

Beckett frowned.

"I told you I didn't want to put a strain on Alexis relationship with Castle."

Jim shook his head. "Why would you care?"

Beckett baulked at her father's callousness.

"Because I didn't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to feel the same loss I felt"

"Because you care about her?"

Beckett nodded.

"You would put your life on the line for her."

"Yes of course." What was her father getting at? Why was he speaking all cryptic , how much time had he spent with Castle?

"Because you love her?"

Beckett opened her mouth but couldn't think of what to say.

"You are full of love Katie. You love your mother. You just told me you loved me. You love your friends, it's clear you love Alexis. Is it so strange for you to love Rick to and I don't mean like you love your friends. Look at the picture again Kate. Tell me what you see, because I don't see cold dark and empty. In this picture I do" he pointed at the picture taken just after her mother died. "If you had said that then, then I would have believed you, but not now."

"Your father is right Kate. You look so bright and happy in those photos with Rick. All those things you described love as being is right there in that picture of the two of you. "

Kate began to tremble. She looked towards the picture of herself in Castles arms. Her breathing became laboured as she remembered other times she had been in his arms.

"Tell me you don't feel anything when you think about him." Her father asked.

She continued to look at the picture of Castle while butterflies played chasey in her stomach. Her bottom lip began to shake slightly as she took in his smiling face, his beautiful eyes, his silky softy hair. What did she feel when she thought about him. Nervous yet at ease. Scared but safe. How could someone stir up feelings of nerves and afraid yet make her feels so at ease and safe. She felt safe when she was with him, content. He made her happy even when she was miserable. When she felt so lost and empty he had wiped that all away, with a smile, a caress. She recalled the other day in the stairwell he had ran a hand down her arm. It had felt like she had jumped in a hot bath after being out in the snow. His presence filled her with heat and hope. Just looking at his picture gave her a Castlegasim.

Jim watched as his daughter looked back at him her face filled with distress.

"What if what I feel isn't real?" her voice was filled with so much fear.

He hated seeing his daughter in so much pain.

"What do you mean not real?"

Beckett shrugged and threw her hands up. She opened her mouth to reply but everything that came to mind didn't sound right.

"I think I understand Jim."

Beckett looked at Hallie, she had known the woman for three years. She had seemed like a nice person who had been married to a real Jackass. Beckett had given her, her card about a year ago after her father had mentioned a pretty loud fight between Hallie and her husband. She had even visited her one day when her husband wasn't home just to talk, give her options. She had been happy when her father had mentioned they were getting a divorce and that the husband had moved out.

"Well could you explain it to me. It obvious she loves him and he loves her. I couldn't shut him up when he came over. It was Kate this, Kate that. He bragged about her more than I do"

Beckett tried to hide her smiled but couldn't. Castle bragged about to her to her father. How embarrassing and embarrassingly cute.

"Ahh see, see your smiling Kate he makes you happy."

Beckett couldn't get over the delight in her father's voice.

"I am not denying that Dad, but there is more to it."

"Kate, was Rick your fantasy man?"

Kate's eyes widened.

Hallie elbowed her father. "See I told you"

Jim looked between the two woman confused.

"Told me what?"

Hallie shook her head sometime men were so clueless.

"Jim did you ever have a woman you fantasised about. An actor, a singer, tv news presenter."

Beckett covered her face with her hand with embarrassment. She looked through her splayed fingers and but saw that her father was embarrassed too.

"Hallie, my daughter is right here."

Hallie waved him off. " Oh Jim dear we are all adults here."

'Jim dear' Beckett couldn't help but smile at this, just coffee may ass.

"The point is we all have someone we fantasize about, whether it be meeting them, going on a date with them or something more. It seems Rick was Kates fantasy man. Right?"

Beckett kept her hand over her eyes as she nodded. This wasn't the type of conversation she wanted to be having in front her father.

"Kate look at me."

She removed her hand and bit her lip.

"Do you think what you're feeling for Rick is just a school girl crush."

Beckett shrugged. "Well Dad Hallie is right. I mean I even entered that win a date with Richard Castle competition five years ago. I didn't win but I entered like six times. Those tickets were like a hundred bucks, the money went the children's charity so at least that was something. "

Her father laughed. "Oh come on Kate do you seriously think what your feeling is a crush. If it was, you would have gushed over him from the first time you started working with him. Do you remember you called me and you were complaining about him being a pain. Although now it suddenly makes sense. I think you complaining has more to do with the fact that you figured out he was genuinely a nice guy. While he was untouchable it was ok to like him, once he was in your grasp you backed off. "

Was what her father was saying true? Had she put up a wall once she realised Castle out of anyone had the ability to be something special in her life. Agh her brain hurt. Beckett stood up.

"I think I should go home."

"Oh sweetie I didn't mean to upset you."

Beckett shook her head. "No its ok Dad, it's just you gave me a lot to think about. Thank you."

She leaned forward and gave her father another hug and a kiss, a new tradition she was going to enforce.

"I hope things work out for you Kate." Hallie had turned out to be quite insightful. Beckett had come to her father's place for well not advice, or guidance, family time. She had spent quite a bit of time with Castle and his family and hadn't realised how much she had missed it. Missed it with her father but also missing it with Castle Martha and Alexis. It was funny how quickly she had jelled with Castles family, or maybe it hadn't been quick. From the very start they had welcome her into their home, Martha had loaned her what must have been a very expensive necklace and hadn't even contacted her when Castle hadn't brought it back that night. The family trusted her and she had betrayed that trust.

"Thank you Hallie," Beckett leaned on and gave the woman who she imagined was going to become a more prominent figure in her father's life a hug and a kiss.

As she left her fathers home she marvelled how her brain felt so confused and a mess. Yet what she wasn't feeling was empty. For the first time in what seemed like her entire life she felt. Okay. As much as she wanted to drive and see Castle she knew she should go home, sleep. Decided exactly what this revelation would mean for her, for them.

AUTHORS NOTE: thanks to AlwaysCastle for coming up with the phrase Castlegasm


	28. Chapter 28

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Feeling the need for family time Beckett visits her father with some startling revelations. **_

Come On!

Come On!

Hurry the hell up!

Castle sat in the taxi trying to urge it through the traffic. He sat there pushing forward and back in a rocking motion as if his movements could move the taxi further forward. He taped at his phone again and put it to his ear. It rang and rang and rang.

What was going on?

He tried to remain calm, tried not to panic. Oh who was he kidding he was losing it.

"I'll walk it will be faster."

Castle threw money at the driver. He climbed out of the taxi and ignored the horns blaring at him as he crossed the street to the sidewalk. Once he was there he began to run. Run as fast as he could.

He dashed past the city of New York his coat flailing behind him like Superman cape. He wished he had Superman's speed. He needed to get there fast and it was slow going. He wished the pedestrians on the street would just vanish. Why were they even there. Didn't they know what he was doing was so much more important.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he barely managed to pant out as he knocked into people on the street.

Why couldn't he run faster, he needed to run faster. He needed to get to her, he needed to get to Beckett. He needed to get to her now. Why wasn't she answering her phone.

It felt like forever until he got to her apartment. He raced through the halls until he got to her door. Please let her be ok, please let her be alright. Pounding on her door he took a moment to catch his breath.

"Beckett, open up."

He leant against the door now gasping. Was it the fear that was making him gasp or his lack of fitness?

"Beckett" he yelled.

Fumbling for his phone he tried to call her again. Pressing his ear against the door he listened for her phone. Nothing. He dropped his phone is his pocket and pulled out her keys. Inserting them into the door he pushed it open and strode inside.

"Beckett if your here answer me."

He scanned the apartment, she wasn't here. He looked over the end of couch. Still no Beckett. He ran towards her bedroom listening out for the shower, the only reason he could think why she wasn't answering her phone. Memories of when her apartment blew filled his mind. He flung the door open and froze at the site of Beckett asleep in her bed. Her bare arm was wrapped tightly around a pillow and she looked peaceful. He jumped when her alarm clock started beeping and then worry filled him when Beckett didn't even flinch. He stalked to the bedside table and turned the alarm off and then saw the open bottle of pills. He picked them up. Sleeping pills and there wasn't many left. He looked at the label. It said take one and there were 25 in the bottle. He saw the date on the prescription and quickly did the math. If she had taken the right dose based on the number of days that had lapsed, there should have been more pills left. Castle dropped the bottle oh god, she hadn't. He grabbed her by the arms and shook her.

"Beckett wake up"

Her eyes flashed open she then smiled dreamily.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh Castle."

She raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck and pulled him down to the bed. She smashed her lips to his and rans her hands over his back. He groaned as her lips moved over his. She was alright, she was ok, she was alive and she was kissing him! This wasn't right. Yes it felt amazing and he had been thinking about her lips way to much but this wasn't right. He didn't want a friends with benefits kind of relationship with her, he wanted all or nothing.

"No," Castle did one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He removed his lips from Becketts and pushed her away.

He saw the shocked and confused look on her face and almost pulled her back into his arms.

Beckett stared at Castle, he had rejected her. All her fears were coming to light. She had admitted her feelings for him and he was rejecting her.

"Oh God Beckett your naked."

She watched as he quickly let go of her and turned away.

She looked at her naked breasts then at Castle who was fully clothed. Wait what was going on. Beckett pulled at her bedding to cover her nakedness even though he had seen it before. Why was she naked, and why was he not. Wait why was he sitting on her bed and not in it. Something wasn't right.

"Why are you here Castle?"

Castle slid her a glance and saw she was covered. Thank god , the site of her breasts had about done him in. He had briefly wanted to be superman again, this time to take of his clothes in 1. 2 seconds and dive into bed with her.

"A body dropped, we have being trying to call you."

What, she wasn't a deep sleeper she always heard her phone. She grabbed it off the night stand and tapped at it. Sure enough there were numerous missed calls. Maybe she had left her phone on silent. Nope after a few taps she discovered it wasn't.

"I don't understand what happened I normally hear it."

"Maybe if you weren't zonked out on pills you would have."

Beckett was shocked by Castles outburst. Why was he acting so angry.

"What?"

"How many pills did you take?"

Beckett looked to her bedside table where she had left the pills but saw that they weren't there.

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw the pills Beckett there were more missing than there should be, how many are you taking."

Beckett was confused, he was counting her pills.

"I take one a night not that does it any good."

"Don't lie to me," he yelled. He leaned over and picked up the strew bottle. A few pills lay on the floor having fallen from the open bottle. "There should be more pills in here."

Beckett was shocked by his outrage; she had seen him angry but never at her.

"Castle, I didn't take the pills. The pills are useless. I got angry with them the other night for not working and threw them against the wall. Most fell out so I put them in a bowl in the kitchen, thought maybe I could wash them off as I take them, there too expensive to throw away." An eerie thought hit her. Castle had seen that the pills were missing and assumed she had taken them, had assumed she had overdosed. "Castle why would you think I took them all."

Castle stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "Gee I don't know maybe because I tried to call you a million times and you didn't answer. Ryan and Esposito tried to call to. I mean I can understand you not wanting to answer my calls but Ryan and Esposito you always answer for work. So naturally I assumed something was wrong. I ran half way here because I was so worried something had happened to you. I pounded on your door but you didn't hear me. What was I supposed to think when I come in here find you asleep and an almost empty bottle of pills."

"That you know me. That you know I wouldn't do something that stupid. What has gotten into you Castle?."

He spun around his arms flaring in frustration. " I don't know, I don't know. I was just so scared. You didn't answer you phone, you never not answer your phone. I was running every worst case scenario on the way over here only to find you asleep. You never sleep well, not here anyway, at least not without me being here." Was that it, was that why he was so angry. She was sleeping without him, she didn't need him anymore. he strode out of the room.

"Get dressed," he barked.

Beckett angrily stalked up the stairs towards the body awaiting her. Castle had no details for her apart from the address; he had been more worried about her than the body. His concern would have made her feel good except for the fact that he seemed angry at her. He was angry at her but it was his fault. After returning from her fathers place she had stripped off and climbed into bed. She normally didn't sleep naked, she always wore clothes that way she was raring to go, if need be. Since she had fallen asleep naked in Castles arms that routine had changed. Somehow being naked in her bed surrounded by his scent made her feel closer to him. His scent however was only faintly in her bed now and she had toyed with going online to see if some Castle groupie knew what sent he wore. The point was his scent was disappearing from her bed which made it extremely hard to get to sleep especially while she had been going over everything her father and Hallie had said. Finally as the sun rose she realised what she had always known, she was in love with Castle. Head over heels punch drunk love. She had almost called him but knew she needed to get to sleep. So with her mind free and clear she had fallen asleep, and not woken up. This wasn't how she had planned her first day of freedom going. The object of her affection was not only angry at her, he hadn't spoken to her on the drive over.

"Yo Beckett, Good afternoon."

Beckett rolled her eyes at the attempt at hilarity. "Very funny Espo. So not in the mood. What have we got?" Beckett walked over to Lanie and the body lying on the ground.

"So did you have a late night," Lanie asked with a coy smile.

Beckett ran a hand over her face. No not now please.

"Lanie her sleeping pills aren't working, can you get her something else."

Becketts eyes widen at Castle.

"Castle could you please not air my dirty laundry here for everyone to hear." God did he have to tell everybody.

"I was trying to help," he stammered.

"I don't need your help," not with the sleeping pills. She decided on the way over here hat she was going to throw them all out. Once she spoke to Castle about where her feelings lie she could spend her nights in his arms, getting blissful sleep. Not feeling so scared or empty. She turned back to Lanie. "So Lanie what have we got."

"Female, 23, strangulation." 

"Neighbours heard the couple arguing. Hey Beckett."

Beckett turned to see that Ryan had entered the apartment. He held a takeaway coffee cup in his hand and with out thinking Beckett grabbed in from his hand. She ripped off the lid and sculled the remaining contents in one gulp.

"Oh I needed that, the last one I had was at my dads last night but he doesn't make it strong." She closed her eyes and licked the last dregs of caffeine from her lips. Oh god this was heaven, the only thing that out did this was Castles kisses, his touch well ok everything about Castle was better than coffee, but coffee was after all that.

"So you drink coffee, you just don't drink my coffee, is that it. What do I have the plague or something."

Becketts eyes had flown open the second he started speaking. She looked down at the empty cup in her hands then back up at him. Oh shit! She hadn't explained about the coffee yet.

Castle threw his hands up in disgust. "You know what, I am done." She wouldn't let him touch her in public but she was ok with it in her home. She didn't want his coffee but she drank others. He turned and walked out of the room and began to descend the stairs rapidly. There was only so much he could take.

"Castle wait."

He heard her yelling but he didn't care. He had to get away. He was to angry and confused and frustrated as all hell.

"Castle please."

He hit the street and stopped. He was a glutton for punishment. She had said please. Turning he watched as the suddenly exhausted looking Beckett stopped in front of him puffing.

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head."Why, why should I wait?"

"Because I need to explain."

Castle sighed heavily. "Explain what? Explain why you act like you want me one minute then push me way the next. Explain why you drank Ryans second ahnd coffee but wont drink my fresh one. Explain why I am even here."

Beckett shook her head and frowned. "What are you talking about?

"Why am I even here at this crime scene? I am not a cop, I'm a writer. A writer who writes crap that means nothing to anyone. Yet somehow I have earned the right to come and piss you off while you try and do something worthwhile like putting bad guys away. I shouldn't be here and it's obvious you don't want me here. So I am just going to go, to leave, leave you in peace"

"No Castle that's not true." Beckett reached out and grabbed on to his arm. "I want you here Castle, I want you with me always."

Castle nodded. "Right you just don't want me to help you in public only in private. I can't even bring you coffee. Is that what our friendship has come to."

Beckett shook her head. No this wasn't what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to wait until they had a moment alone to tell him how she felt. How did everything get so fucked up.

"No Castle please listen to me I can explain, ok. I can explain about the coffee and everything else, just not here ok. We have to talk. No we need to talk but not here, not now, I have a body upstairs."

Castle shook his head. "We are just deluding ourselves Beckett, we cant do this."

"No Castle please don't say that." Not now. Not when she had finally figured out what she wanted. She wanted Castle in her life, forever! She wanted it all. His friendship, his help on cases but more than that. His love, his tenderness, his aloofness, his humour. Everything he had to offer she wanted and she wasn't going to give up without a fight. At the moment she was fighting

to hold her emotions back. Beckett shook her head and he watched as a tear ran down her face. She was crying, he had made her cry. Oh great now he felt like an ass. It was just coffee dammit.

"Beckett please don't cry."

She shrugged as she sniffed and tried to wipe back a tear. "How can I not. You want to leave, you want to leave me. I am losing the best thing in my life."

The best thing in her life. Had she really just said that or had he been dreaming. She looked so frail and worn out and he had made that worse by flying off the handle because she wouldn't drink his coffee. It wasn't like he actually made it or anything. Deciding to screw the rules he pulled her into his arms. He was surprised when she practically latched onto him and held him tight. She was in his arms, she was holding him. Everything that he had been angry at just dissipated. If she didn't need his help than why was she cutting of the circulation off to his lower back.

"You're not losing me Beckett I am right here. I'm not going anywhere. If you want me here, I'm here."

She nodded a few times before pulling back.

"Castle I promise you I can explain everything. It will all make sense once I do you have to believe me."

She was asking him to believe her. How many times had he asked the same thing of her? Too many, sometimes she did others she said she didn't yet still looked into his crazy theory behind his back. She wanted to explain , he ahd tpo at least give her that.

"Ok."

"Will you come back upstairs? The sooner we solve this one the sooner we can talk."

Castle looked back up at the apartment building where he had just made a fool at out himself. He shook his head, he needed to think. Needed to figure out what he was going to do, what this rule breaking on both the parts was going to lead.

"I better not."

She was disappointed but nodded in agreement.

"Ok but you will come by later, so we can talk, spend some time together."

She actually wanted to spend time with him. He restrained himself from breaking into a happy dance.

"Yeah sure, text me and ill come past the precinct."

"No. My place we need privacy."

Castle sighed. Privacy, right.

"Look Beckett I am sick of hiding whatever this is."

Beckett shook her head.

"No, no Castle, it's not that. We need to talk without any distractions that's all. I thought my place would be better but its' up to you. We can do it in the break room at the precinct if you really want, or at a park if its not to late, or at your place. Anywhere were we can be together, spend some time together, at least I hope you will want to after we talk.

Castle was shocked. Not only did she want to talk about what had been going on but she wanted to spend time with him and at her place. He had about figured that her place was off limits to him.

"Ok, text me."

She smiled, "I will."

She stepped back out of his arms and quickly made her way back to the building. She had a murder to solve, the sooner that happened the sooner she could speak to Castle. Stopping at the entranceway she turned back to see Castle stood there watching her. She had once told him that when he stared at her it was creepy, she no longer felt that way. He gave her a brief smile and a little wave goodbye. Oh what that man did to her, She instantly felt renewed, refreshed. She felt another Castlegasm coming on. Not being able to resist she ran back to the man who would soon be hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"To hold us over until tonight," she informed him when she finally pulled back.

She then ran back to the building leaving a shocked Castle standing on the street. Entering the dead woman's apartment everyone except for the body looked up at her. She could play dumb and pretend nothing happened. Yeah like that was going to work. Even with her partners who sometimes acted like Dumb and Dumber.

"Castle is going to take a personal day."

She looked at three sets raised eyebrows.

"Everything is cool." she insisted.

Ryan and Esposito nodded at her. "Right well we are done here. So we were thinking of heading back to the precinct and get started on some leads on the boyfriend. If that's ok with you."

Beckett nodded.

"Ok well ill just catch up with Lanie and meet you back there soon."

Once the guys left Lanie gave her a look that read spill in any language.

Beckett smiled. "I have come to my senses and Castle and I are going to talk about it as soon as I get home tonight."

"So what are you doing here then? The boys have everything they need. Looks like a domestic gone bad, you should be able to wrap it up quickly."

Beckett leaned over and gave her friend a hug.

"Thanks Lanie."

As she ran from the room she heard Lanie yell out.

"I want details. Lots of them, Castle style. "

**Come on review, you know you want to. **


	29. Chapter 29

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Beckett now realises she is in love with Castle, she just needs to get a chance to tell him. **_

Beckett jumped into her car and sped into the traffic. If this case was a simply Bill killed Jill then they'd wrap it up soon. She could even hand the case over to Ryan and Esposito. Not that she wasn't going to investigate every aspect of the case. Things weren't always what they seemed. Castle had taught her a thing or two about investigating not that she would admit that to him. well maybe not admit it, relationships were about truth. Beckett couldn't help the grin that broke out on her face, or the small chuckle that escaped from her lips. Relationship, she just thought of herself as in a relationship. A relationship with Castle. She thought of herself as being in a relationship and didn't run screaming into a cave. She wanted to scream alright. Scream and jump and run and dance around in the middle of time square. She was in love and she was about to burst. Technically she wasn't in a relationship yet but hopefully in a few hours that would change. Zipping through the traffic Beckett tried not to break any laws that she would have to arrest herself for. She wanted to get this case solved and then get her own life sorted out. Hearing her phone start to ring Beckett groaned. She did not need this. Keeping an eye on the traffic that seemed to be getting slower she pulled out her phone.

"What is it Espo, I am on my way."

"There has been an accident between two taxis. Where are you?"

"I'm driving. I'm on 3rd," she glanced out of her window and looked for a street sign. "3rd and 18th."

"The accident is on 23rd."

Beckett nodded. "Thanks Espo, I'll avoid it."

"No no Beckett, you need to get here. It's Castle."

Becketts heart began to race. Castle!

"What do you mean it's Castle?" what's Castle, what was he talking about.

"He was in one of the taxis."

Castle was in a taxi. Castle was in a taxi because of her. He was in a taxi that had just been involved in an accident. He was involved in an accident. No this could not be happening, it had to be some weird dream. Some weird fucked up dream. No wait not a dream, a dream was when you have your arms wrapped around the one you love, this was a nightmare

"Is he ok.?"

"Just get here ok."

"Espo."

He didn't replay.

"Espo" she screamed again.

Beckett looked at her phone. He hung up. He told her Castle had been involved in an accident and then hung up. Was he ok. Why hadn't he told her? Beckett dropped her phone and then slammed her hands on the steering wheel. She hated New York City traffic, there were cars everywhere. No one was moving or at least it seemed like it. She was approaching 20th street and saw an empty spot on the side of the road. Ignoring the horns from other disgruntled drivers she pulled into the spot and got out of her car and ran. She wasn't wearing her heals that were good for running in but she didn't care, she needed to get to Castle. He was in trouble and he needed her.

"NYPD. Move!MOVE!"

Beckett ate up the distance straining her body and pushing it to the limits, but she didn't care. She needed to get to Castle. He was ok she kept telling herself yet deep down she knew something was wrong, she just knew it. She made it to the accident site after what felt like an eternity. Ryan was standing in the middle of the road trying to direct traffic away from the two cars, but there was no sign of Esposito. Beckett saw that one taxi had the front completely crushed, the other taxi was in far worse condition. It sat only a few feet from its counterpart resting against a pole. The front driver door was open but the back door was crumpled, that must have been the first point of impact. She knew from experience that there was no way that door was going to open unless they had the jaws of life. She hoped there hadn't been anyone in the back. Looking around she noted that the paramedics or other police officers weren't here yet, the accident must have just happened. Scanning the crowed she looked for the familiar body of the man she loved but didn't see it. The fear that had momentarily escaped her once she had come across the accident returned with a flourish. Beckett saw someone back out of the driver door and realised it was Esposito.

"Esposito," she yelled towards him running over. He would know where Castle was.

He ran to her and halted her with his hands.

"Where is he?" she asked moving side to side trying to get out of his grasp and look for Castle.

"Beckett you need to calm down."

Calm down, calm down. Why did she need to calm down. She wasn't agitated, why did she need to calm down. Was there a reason for her not to be calm.

"Where is he, is he ok."

Espo shook his head.

"We don't know?"

Beckett frowned.

"What do you mean you don't know, ask him?"

"We can't, he is unconscious, we think."

We think, we think. What the hell was that supposed to mean. What was going on, where was he?

"What do you mean you think. Espo what the hell is going on . Where is Castle?"

Esposito sighed.

"He is still in the taxi. He is stuck in the back. There is blood on the partition and he is slumped forward. He is not answering when we call out to him. Help should be here soon."

Beckett started to breath heavily and not because she had just spirited here. Castle was stuck in the taxi, there was blood and he wasn't responding. He wasn't responding.

"Castle" she yelled towards the taxi.

Esposito tried to force her back a bit but she shook herself out of his grasp. He tried to block her path to the taxi so she shoved him out of the way and ran to the taxi. Esposito thought about stopping her but then decided against it. She couldn't get herself in any trouble which is more than he could say for himself if he tried to stop her. Beckett practically dove in through the driver's door and looked through the partition.

"Castle," she screamed her breath fogging up the plastic. "Castle." His prone body didn't move. He wasn't moving, oh god he wasn't moving. Beckett pulled back and started slamming her fist against the plastic divider.

"Oh shit Beckett."

Beckett turned to Esposito frantic call.

"The taxi is on fire."

Beckett turned to the bonnet of the taxi she was in and didn't see any smoke or flames.

"No the other one. We gotta get out of here."

The other taxi was on fire, the other taxi that was only a few feet away. If the taxi blew then the fall out would surely affect the one she was in, the one Castle was trapped in.

"Espo clear the street."

He shook his head. "What about you?"

"I have to get Castle out."

Esposito hesitated for a second before looking at the people on the street.

"Ok, but hurry."

Beckett slammed on the plastic partition again.

"Castle come on wake up." She yelled but it was no use. He didn't move and even if he did he was still stuck on the taxi.

Beckett climbed out of the taxi and looked at the back door. She grabbed at the handle and tried to open it to no avail. Beckett kept yanking on the door but it wouldn't budge. She put a foot on the side of the car and yanked at the handle with all her mite but all she seemed to do was yank her shoulders out of their sockets. Beckett hung her head down in defeat; she was right they were going to need the jaws of life to get this door open. She briefly had hope that she could get to him on the other side but realised the car was wedged up against a pole. Castle was stuck; he was stuck in the back of the car. He was in there because of her. She couldn't get to him, couldn't reach him to see if he was ok. He could already be... No, NO she wasn't even going to think that. He was fine. He was just tired, he was taking a nap. Oh god she was really desperate now.

She needed something to open the door. She turned around and around and around. Nothing there was nothing, how could there be nothing. People were breaking into cars all the time. Where was a criminal when you needed one. She raked a hand through her hair in frustration before quickly turning around suddenly and slamming her elbow into the back door glass. It didn't break. Pain radiated through her arm but she didn't care. She swung her arm back again and again and again. She needed to break the glass, but her elbow wasn't working and if she wasn't careful she would break that instead. She broke down doors all the time, well not quite all the time but a few times. One swift kick in the right position could open a door. This wasn't a wooden door and it opened in the opposite direction. Maybe she could kick the glass and break it. She prepared her stance the way she would for taking down a door or a suspect and the looked at what her hands were doing, they were clutching at an imaginary gun. She had a real gun!

She pulled out her gun. Pointing it at the window she drew it back suddenly. The bullet could ricochet, Castle could get shot. She could shoot Castle, something she had often thought about when he annoyed her, but not today, not now, not ever. Beckett looked at the gun in her hand and marvelled at the shape, it was short and then bent at a 90 degree angle. Its shape as oddly reminiscent of another object. She spun the gun around and held it by the muzzle. Her gun now resembled a hammer. She swung her arm back and up before coming down on the window. This time she aimed for the corner.

BAM

BAM

BAM

Eventually the glass shattered and Becketts hand went through the window with it. She pulled her hand back out and used the gun to clear the glass from the frame. Holstering her gun she grabbed the door and hoisted a leg inside the car.

"Beckett what are you doing."

Beckett turned to see Esposito pulling Ryan up from the ground, his nose bloodied. What the hell had happened? She saw a man rubbing his clenched fist as he walked away, there must have been some sport of altercation.

"Beckett we have to get out of here. Help will be here soon, it's not safe."

She was about to tell Esposito where he could shove his help that would be here soon, when she saw Ryan wobble before falling over.

"Get Ryan out of here."

She used her foot on the ground to help launch herself up and got her head and torso into the car. It was a tight squeeze and the remaining shards of glass cut into her flesh, but that didn't stop her. Pushing hard against the inside of the car, her body eventually relented and she bellyflopped into the car her head slamming against his body. Ignoring the pain that was now running through her head and elbow she raised onto her knees she grabbed Castles shoulders and pulled him back. Placing a hand to his neck she checked for a pulse. Yes. There was a pulse. There was a pulse. There was also blood on her hand when she pulled it back. She hadn't felt the multiple cuts that were now on her hand but that wasn't where the blood had come from. A large gashed marred Castle forehead above his left eyebrow. Blood was tumbling out of the wound, down the side of his face and neck before disappearing under his shirt.

"Come on Castle wake up."

She shook his arm slightly but got no reaction from him. If he was going to get out of this godforsaken taxi it was going to be up to her. She gingerly stood on the seat, her body hunched yet her head still grazed the roof of the taxi. Reaching around him she eventually was able to slip her hands under his armpits and pulled up and he didn't move an inch. She groaned and grunted but started to make leeway, the only problem was she was twisting his body. He could have spinal injuries and she probably shouldn't be moving him but what choice did she have. Spinal injuries or crispy critter, tough choice.

"Castle, wake up. I'm naked,"still nothing. She thought for sure that little jibe would rouse him.

Beckett dragged Castle with her in the direction of the smashed window. Much to the dismay of her shoulders , arms, hands, well pretty much her whole body ached. Extending a leg out the window she used gravity of her practically falling out of the car, to her advantage his time. As her bottom half fell from the car her top half kept a firm grip on Castles arms and pulled him to the open window. After hopping around on one foot she pried her other leg out but not before slicing her leg up on the broken glass.

She glanced briefly at the car only a few feet away from her that now had large flames coming from it. She could feel the heat and knew she had better move it or lose it. Lose it all. Her life. The love of her life. Beckett leaned back into the car and tried to get a grip on Castles shoulders but it wasn't easy. She slipped hers arms under his armpits and this time practically hugged him trying to pull him out the window but it wasn't working. Keeping a tight hold on him she braced one leg against the car door before hopping and placing her other foot on the door. She was now fully suspended in mid air. Using all the strength she had she pushed out with her legs and tried to use the momentum to pull Castle out of the car. It didn't work, all it did was stretch her arms to their limits. She tried again and again her legs bounced against the car like a monkey. Suddenly her grip slipped and so did she, off the car and onto the road. She hadn't been expecting it and her head slammed against the ground merely seconds after her back had. She didn't know how much more pain she could handle. It was all irrelevant, she had to keep going, there was no other option. A bit of pain now for what could potentially be everlasting pain if she failed.

She heard screaming but ignored it and scrambled back up and over to the car, she had to get Castle out and she had to get him out now. Channelling energy she didn't know she had, she changed tactics. She twisted and turned, twisted and turned Castles body. She pushed. she pulled. Bent her body in ways she didn't even think was possible and somehow managed to get his wide frame out of the tiny window. She stumbled back as his feet hit the ground but regained her balance and began to drag him away from the flames, away from certain death.

"Beckett I got him."

Beckett barley glanced at Esposito as he leant forward and picked up Castle as if he were a feather. Together they ran to the sidewalk where Ryan was leaning against a wall holding something to his bleeding nose. Beckett collapsed to the ground next to him and closed her eyes for a second before opening them, they weren't out of danger yet, Castle was still unconscious. Beckett watched as Esposito deposited Castle down next to her.

"Castle," she gasped out as she ran a hand over his face. There was so much blood, but at least it seemed to be trickling out now. She wiped at his face trying to clear the blood with her sleeve. The sound of an explosion behind her had Beckett screaming out and covering Castles body with her own. She felt the heat tingling on her skin and held on to Castle tight as if her life depended on hit.

"Bec. Beck. Beckett."

Beckett felt the body beneath her move. Movement equalled life, stillness equalled death, right?

"Castle," she lifted her head up and looked into his slightly confused looking blue eyes. He was conscious.

"Oh my God Castle you had me so worried," just because he was awake didn't mean he was ok but it was a good sign.

She gave him a quick hug and couldn't help but place a quick kiss to his chest.

"Agggh."

Beckett leapt off his body, how she could be so stupid. Just because his only physical injury was a gash on his head didn't mean he didn't have other injuries. Beckett looked over his body but couldn't see anything sticking out at an unusual angle, always a good sign. The only other sign of blood was on his left thigh. Based on the way he had been slumped in the Taxi it was a good supposition that it was blood from his head wound.

"Beckett I hurt."

Becketts heart clenched at Castles whimper. He was hurt and probably very confused. She ran a hand down his cheek as if her touch could ease his pain, as his had eased hers so many times.

"I know you do Sweetie," she kept her voice soft and gentle like she would when attending to a child or animal. She had to remain calm in order to keep him calm.

"I feel like I have been hit by a truck." He told her closing his eyes and wincing slightly.

"Close, a car. Do you remember?"

Castle opened his eyes and looked at her; he seemed to be thinking before nodding his head slightly.

"I heard crunching."

Ok that was good; he remembered something from the accident. His brain was still intact, she hoped. She still had to see how the rest of him was doing.

"Ok Castle just lay still I need to assess your injuries, tell me where it hurts."

"It hurts everywhere."

"I know, I know but we need to see if you have any injuries so when the paramedics finally get here they will know how to take away the pain. Ok."

He nodded again at her.

"Ok Castle when I touch you, I need you to tell me on a scale of 1 to 10 how much it hurts ok."

Using both her hands she gently padded her way down one arm and then the next.

"Ouch ouch ouch, seven, that's a seven."

Beckett looked down, her hand was touching his right wrist that upon further inspection was slightly swollen. Oh no not his right hand, his hands were his life. He may have survived the car accident but once Gina found out he had injured his hand she would kill him.

"Ok let's see about the rest of you."

Her hands left his wrist and started running down his chest. Visions of there night together filled her mind but she quickly shook them away. Now wasn't the time to reminisce. When she got to his ribs she felt him flinch and let out a hiss of pain.

"Eleven , eleven, eleven."

His right rib hurt, or something underneath it did. He could have internal injuries where were those paramedics, had anyone even called them. She continued her assessment of his body, lightly probing his hips. Hearing him let out a groan she looked up to see how much pain he was in.

"Pain level Castle."

He didn't answer so she lightly padded the region again.

"MMMM,"

"I think that's a level seven Beckett." Ryan had been silently watching the exchange while trying to stop his nose from bleeding. Seeing his taxi on fire the taxi driver had attempted to go back to his vehicle to get his "stuff". He should have just let the idiot get hurt but no he had to try and stop him and got a fist in his face for the trouble.

"Ryan how can you tell how much pain he is?"

Ryan smirked at Beckett, poor naive Beckett.

"I didn't mean pain level I meant pleasure level."

He watched as Becketts eyes widened and then she turned her gaze back to Castle. She gasped out.

"Castle are you smiling, and to think I dragged you from the car."

Castle let out a small chuckled then groaned this time in pain.

"I'm sorry but your touching my groin area, I thought you were trying to get my mind off my pain. Its working by the way"

Beckett rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smile, he was injured and in pain but still had his sense of humour. She ran her hands down his legs watching his mouth to see if he smiled in pleasure or grimaced in pain. He did neither so she finished up her inspection.

"Hey I'm back."

Beckett looked up to see Esposito, he had been gone?

"Hey Castle, glad to see you've joined us back in the land of the living. I've checked everyone no one else seems injured from the blast. One of the taxi drivers is now complaining of a sore neck, the other might have whip lash. Looks like Castle got the worst of it. Are you alright?"

"Thanks dude, yeah sore all over. I felt a bit hazy before but I think the fog is clearing."

Beckett stroked his arm. She wanted to keep him calm and at peace. She heard sirens and knew everything was going to be ok. Castle would be taken to hospital, they'd do all sorts of tests and scans and he would be back in her arms in no time.

Esposito ran over to the paramedics and brought them over to Castle first. She reluctantly had to step back while they worked on Castle, putting a neck brace on and stemming the flow of blood from his head. Standard procedure she knew that, she had seen paramedics working before, but this was different. This was Castle. Her Castle. Someone she cared about. Someone she loved! why did it scare her worse than anything she had ever seen when she saw them putting him on the gurney.

"Beckett. I need Beckett."

The paramedics were about to load him inside when Castle started to struggle. Ignoring his plea they pushed him towards their vehicle but he continued to struggle so they had to stop to retrain him.

"No, where's Beckett.

He sounded so scared. She knew she was supposed to stand back and let them do their job. The sooner they got to the hospital the better, but she couldn't deny him, not anymore. She ran to him and glared at the paramedic who tried to object.

"Hey Castle, I'm right here," she grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "What's wrong?"

"I can't go in there."

"What?"

"I can't go to hospital; we were supposed to talk tonight. We can't talk if I am at the hospital and if I am at the hospital we can't talk. Because we can't talk if I am at the hospital"

Beckett frowned. He was talking really fast, even for him. He was also repeating his words and gripping her hand tight. Maybe there had been ill effects from him hitting his head. He had been unconscious for quite some time, maybe he had a concussion.

"Castle it's ok. I'll follow you to the hospital and we can talk then, or after when you feel better."

He shook his head. "No we won't. You will change your mind, or something will happen to me or or or or or."

"Castle" she raised her voice now to stop his tirade. This hadn't been how she envisioned telling him she loved him. Ok so him being flat on his back was defiantly something she had thought would happen after not before. She supposed it didn't matter the where or the how all that mattered was the fact that she did. She leaned forward and used her free hand to brush back his hair that had stuck up at a weird angle that's to the bandage on his head. Stroking a hand down his face she looked into his endlessly deep blue eyes.

"We will talk, I promise you. The only thing you need to know is." Beckett bit her lip before taking a deep breath. "Castle, I love you." She emphasised her point by leaning down and kissing him. When she pulled back she saw his eyes were closed and briefly wondered if he had passed out again. He opened his eyes and looked at her before closing them again and shaking his head.

"No you don't, but thanks for saying it."

"Castle no i..."

"Look lady we need to get him to the hospital."

Beckett stood mouth agape as Castle was taken away from her. She felt like her heart was being ripped out. He didn't believe her. She told him she loved him and he didn't believe her. She had finally told him how she felt, opened her heart up to him and he didn't believe her. Suddenly she felt weak, like someone had stuck a straw into her belly button and sucked out her energy.

"Hey Beckett, everything will be ok."

Beckett turned to look at Esposito , she then shook her head.

"No it won't," she then closed her eyes and crumpled to the ground.

"Oh man," for the third time that day he scooped one of his partners up from the ground. "What would they do without me? Hey can I get some help over here,"

_**AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks Little Lizzie for helping me with this chapter.**_

_**Ok people so I did my best. So some might think the whole accident scene wasn't believable or couldn't really happened. I did do some Castle style research. Climbed in and out of my hubbys car trying to visualise Beckett in the car. Even researched online to. So well if you think it isn't plausible , well I did my best and hey its fiction. **_

_**Hey can anyone identify what tv series (that Nathan Fillion was in briefly) and which character (not his) uttered Castles last words. First person to get it right I will somehow find a way to incorporate your name into my story. : )**_

_**Also I recently signed up to twitter. I seriously have no idea what I am doing but come and follow me. I will also post the occasional picture to show you what I am talking about in my stories. PM to let me know you are following me so I can accept you. I am Nattie Lizzie**_

Now review and watch me do a happy dance


	30. Chapter 30

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Ain't No Mountain High Enough Beckett finally tells Castle she loves him, but he doesn't believe her. **_

Alexis ran through the halls of the hospital getting dirty looks from several people. What! It not like she was playing kisschasey in the school halls or anything. If she ran into anyone and they got hurt then this was the best place to be to get patched up. A few scrapes would be nothing compared to what her father had gone through. Well she didn't actually know what her Father had gone through. All Detective Esposito had told her was that her Father had been involved in a car accident. He was ok but he was at the hospital. Well what the heck did that mean, if he was ok then why was he at the hospital. She rounded another corridor only to see another long hallway. Groaning she looked for signs then continued on, this was worse than LAX. Her Daddy was hurt and she needed to get to him, needed to give him a hug. He always said her hugs made him feel better although she had given him quite a few lately but he didn't seem better. Getting to a T junction she looked left and right then saw Detective Esposito.

"Detective"

"Alexis."

"How is he, where is he?"

This was the second time he had to deal with a distraught woman today, well ok third. Lanie had been on the phone to him about Beckett as soon as she had heard.

"The nurse has just brought him into his room. He's ok they are just getting him settled."

Alexis took a deep breath and nodded. Tears threatened to fall and she had to swallow and few times to regain her composure. He was ok, he was in a room. He wasn't in surgery, wasn't in the morgue, he was in a room.

"What happened?" the Detective hadn't been very forth coming on the phone, not that she would have listened anyway. She had just heard her Dad had been in an accident and she had run from her classroom.

"The taxi he was in got T boned by another Taxi that ran a red light."

Alexis nodded. This was New York City, taxi drivers were insane.

"Was anyone else hurt?"

Esposito shrugged. "Both drivers will be pretty sore in the morning. Your Dad got the worst of it, Ryan got hit in the face he's being looked out right now."

Alexis frowned. "How did Detective Ryan get hurt, I thought Dad was in a taxi."

"He was, Ryan and I came upon the accident about a minute after it happened."

Alexis was confused, normally her Father got a call about a case after the detectives were already there.

"Dad beat you to a crime scene?"

"No, we were leaving a crime scene."

Her father had left a crime scene and he wasn't with Kate, she tried to stop the smile that was coming to her lips.

"He wasn't riding with Detective Beckett," she tried to sound coy.

"No, they got into a fight over coffee and he left."

Shock swept over Alexis. Her father got into a fight about coffee.

"What do you mean coffee. Who has a fight over coffee?"

Esposito tried to stay calm while talking Alexis. She was his friends daughter after al but he also knew she was the reason his two friends had been so miserable lately.

"Beckett told your Dad she stopped drinking coffee to try and help her sleep. So he has stopped bringing her coffee."

Alexis nodded. Kate had done what she had asked her to do, Severed intimate ties with her father, including drinking his coffee. It almost surprised her the she had listened to what she had said. She had also given him a plausible excuse. Which was good?

"Which is stupid," Esposito continued.

What! Why did Esposito think it was stupid.

"Honestly since the day Beckett stopped drinking coffee it's as if she hasn't been getting any sleep at all. She always looks exhausted and I swear she has started sleeping at the precinct again."

Again! Alexis knew she hadn't been sleeping at their place every night and did wonder briefly what she had been doing for the rest of them.

"I've got Lanie bugging me all the time asking if I've seen Beckett eating and honestly I haven't much. If anything now is when she needs to be drinking coffee. She is so tired it has started to effect her work, she is doing stupid things. "

Not drinking coffee was affecting her work, that could be dangerous out in the field. Not only for her father but for Kate herself, not that she cared. Well ok maybe she did care about Kate, ok so maybe she cared a lot about Kate but she cared about her father more. She had started feeling a little guilty then pushed it aside. It wasn't her fault Kate wasn't sleeping, was it?.

"If she is having trouble sleeping then she should go see a doctor get some sleeping pills or something? What has this got to do with Kate fighting with Dad."

"She is taking the sleeping pills but they aren't working. If she is sleeping its cause her body has finally given out. We got a call today but Beckett didn't answer her phone. We had to send your Dad around there to make sure she was ok and get her to the scene. When she got there she looked like crap. I guess with your Dad there she couldn't get her morning coffee."

"But you said she wasn't drinking coffee anymore."

"No I said she told your father she wasn't drinking coffee. The other day she snatched my coffee off the desk and drank it the second you Dad left to go to the men's room. The coffee had been sitting there for two hours, it was disgusting but she didn't care she needed the caffeine hit. She has been sneaking coffee when ever your Dad isn't around for some stupid reason. She was really out of it today and made the mistake of admitting the last time she had a coffee had been the night before at her Dads. That was after she practically tackled Ryan and stole his coffee and drank it in front of your dad. He got so angry, saying something about having the plague and then stormed off."

"So that's why Dad was in an accident, because Beckett couldn't remember not to drink coffee in front of him."

Detective Esposito shook his head.

"No Beckett chased after him. She was gone for awhile and when she came back she was smiling. She said your Dad was taking a person day and we assumed everything was ok. Lanie called me afterwards and said that Beckett told her that she had come to her senses and was going to have a talk with your Dad tonight and explain everything. It's no one's fault that your Dad got in an accident apart from the taxi driver who ran the red."

Explain everything. What was Beckett going to explain? Was she planning on telling her father what she had done? What did it mean come to her senses?

"Excuse me Nurse."

Alexis looked and saw a nurse exiting the room she assumed her father was in.

"This is his daughter, is ok for her to see him now."

The nurse nodded and Alexis walked forwards feeling a sense of relief. Once she saw her Father everything would be ok.

"You must be Kate."

Alexis faulted. What!. Had her father been asking for Kate.

"No I'm Alexis."

The nurse beckoned her forward regardless. Alexis followed the nurse into her fathers room.

"Mr Castle you have a visitor."

Alexis stepped around the nurse to gain access to her father only to watch his smile slip slightly. He hadn't been expecting her, he had been expecting Kate. She gazed over her father who seemed to have lost his superhero glow. He had a bandage on his head and on his right hand as well as a few scratches, but she knew there could be other problems. Her father opened up his arms.

"Aren't you going to give your old man a hug."

She may be upset that he wasn't her first choice but he was still her Daddy and she was his baby. She ran to him and wrapped her arms around him squeezing tight.

"I'm so glad you are alright."

"Oh ahh ahhh."

Alexis pulled back and gave her father a worried look.

"You are ok aren't you."

He smiled at her and nodded. "I have broken ribs."

Alexis frowned at her father's smiling face, he had just been involved in car accident and he was smiling. She turned her head to the nurse for more information.

"His ribs aren't broken just badly bruised." 

Alexis pulled back from her father, put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Dad."

"Oh come on broken sounds so much cooler. I also have 12 stitches in my head." He lifted his hair with his injured hand to reveal more of the bandage. "Sarah says it might scar but not to worry becasue I'll still be ruggedly handsome."

Alexis turned to look at the nurse.

"Oh not me" she informed the young woman. "She's the one who patched him up and I was informed there were only 8 stitches."

Alexis turned and sighed at her father who gave her a sheepish look before turning back to the nurse.

"So what's really wrong with him."

The nurse eyed her patient. "Well he is doing pretty well considering what he has been through. His ribs are bruised and will be sore for a few days, so will his wrist. It's strapped up but it's just a sprain, we x rayed just to be sure. He has 8 stiches not 12 and has a pretty bad concussion. We are actually a bit worried about how excited he is about his injuries, is that normal."

Alexis nodded. "Unfortunately. So is that the extent of it. Head, wrist, ribs."

The nurse nodded. "Like I said he was pretty lucky. He will come up with bruises and be sore all over , which is pretty typical of a car accident. He also has numerous cuts and abrasions all over his body but none required stiches but he just needs to make sure to keep them clean."

Cuts and abrasions how did he get them, no one mentioned her dad had been handling a knife.

"How did he get the cuts.?"

"Ahh from glass. The nurse had to pick some bits out. Apparently he had to get dragged out a window. If that's all I'll be going, just press the button if you need anything ok."

Ok her father had been in a car accident but he had been dragged out through a window what was going on?

"Dad what's going on? Detective Esposito said you were in a taxi when it got hit. Why were you dragged through glass?"

She watched as he frowned as if trying to recall the memory.

"Beckett said something about dragging me, maybe that's when it happened. Is she ok?"

Her father was lying in a hospital bed and he was worried about KATE!

"I don't know." She tried to fix his bedding but he put out a hand to stop her.

"What do you mean you don't know, didn't she call you?"

Alexis shook her head. "No Detective Esposito did."

She watched as her father's brows furrowed. "But you talked to her right, she's here isn't she."

Alexis shrugged. "I didn't see her."

His hand tighten on her arm. "What do you mean you didn't see her. She's ok isn't she?"

"Why wouldn't she be. Dad you have a head injury. You were in a taxi, Kate wasn't with you. There is no reason for her not to be ok."

"But she was there, I know she was." His eyes widened. "There was a big explosion sound and beckett screamed. You have to find out if she is ok."

Alexis removed her father's hand from her arm and placed it gently on the bed.

"Dad you're not making sense. I'm sure she's fine. Now could we please just focus on you."

"Alexis what has gotten into you."

Alexis was surprised by her father.

"Me. What's got into me" she tried to control her temper. After all her father was injured. "Dad you were just involved in a very serious accident. You are in hospital yet you are worried about Kate."

"Of course I am worried about her why wouldn't I be."

"Why would you be?" she counteracted. "She doesn't care about you, Dad."

"What are you talking about of course she cares about me."

Alexis shook her head, she was sick of this.

"Dad you need to grown up. You need to wake up. Kate doesn't care about you, she never will. The sooner you realise that, the better your life would be."

He shook his head at her.

"You're wrong," he told her.

"Am I" she challenged. "Tell me one thing she has done to prove she cares for you, just one thing and I'll take it back."

Castle stared at his daughter he couldn't believe she was acting like this. He thought his daughter liked Beckett. She was wrong about Beckett, she did care about him. She stayed with him, cared for him while he was laying on the pavement in pain.

"She lied to me."

Ok she was definitely getting a nurse. Her father thought lying to someone proved they cared.

"Dad lying isn't a good thing."

"Yes it is" he told her admittedly. "I got a bit scared when they tried to put me in the ambulance. She came and held my hand and told me she loved me."

Alexis mouth gaped open.

"She what?"

Castle shook his head. "She didn't mean it. She thought I was dying and said it to make me feel better. The point is, if she didn't care she wouldn't have said it at all."

"Richard darling."

Alexis stumbled out of the way as her grandmother made a grand entrance. She sat in a chair partly to allow her grandmother access and partly because she was shocked. Beckett had told her father she loved him. He said she didn't mean it but Alexis knew that couldn't be right. Kate had told her she didn't throw the 'I love yous' around. She didn't think she could ever love yet she had told her father she loved him. That couldn't be right. Her father had to be wrong. He had a head injury, maybe he dreamt Kate being there. If Kate loved him then where was she, why wasn't she here when her father had asked for her. Things didn't make sense and she needed to find out the truth, she deserved to know the truth, and so did her father. Alexis stood and made her way over to the door.

"Alexis where are you going."

Alexis turned to look at her father. "I'm going to go check on what we were talking about."

He frowned at first then smiled."Thanks, I love you."

Alexis gave him a quick smile. "I love you to."

AUTHORS NOTE: hey everyone sorry this is short but it was either this or nothing for a few more days. I smacked my hand with a hammer at work earlier in the week so I've been giving the writing a bit of a break allowing it to heal. I was really worried I had broken it. I was using a plastic/ nylon hammer and chisel like object. I hit the chisel very hard but the head of chizzel and hammer are the same size so unless you chit it bullseye it slips off. It wasn't even so much that I hit the top of my index finger knuckle that hurt so much, although I do have bruising there. The force slammed my hand into the plastic part underneath. I know it was plastic but it still hurt. I've got bruising where my baby finger joins to my hand. Ouch ouch ouch. Ill try get more up soon. But right now I need to go to bed its like 5 am

Oh and the winner of the trivia question at the end what Spike from Buffy the vampire slayer. The first winner was Sarah who got to be in my story and have Castle utter her name. Although lots of did get it right, must be Buffy fans out there. If you're up for some corny Spuffy stories with bad grammar written like 10 years ago check out my profile. Enjoy. Lol

Thanks all for your lovely reviews ill have to figure out a way for you to see me do my review happy dance lol. It's so hilarious even I laugh at my self

Thanks love yas


	31. Chapter 31

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. Alexis finds out that Beckett told her father she loves him. Yet despite Castles admission that she didn't mean it, Alexis wants to find out the truth. **_

Alexis walked out of her father's room a little confused. Surly her father's head injury had affected his thinking. Kate couldn't have been at the scene, her father must have imagined her there. Yet if he did why would he imagine Kate telling him he loved him, especially when he thought she didn't. It didn't make sense. She saw detective Esposito talking to what looked like a very sore Detective Ryan. His nose looked swollen, bruised and he looked like he was in a lot of pain.

"Hey Alexis how is he?"

Alexis shook her head. "He seemed fine at first, exaggerating about his injuries, but then he started talking about Kate. He is worried something has happened to her. He has a concussion so it's no wonder his mind is a little fuzzy. He said she was at the accident, he heard her scream and a big explosion noise. He also thinks Kate thought he was dying so she said some stuff to him, but didn't mean it. It doesn't make sense to me."

"You mean when she told him she loved him," Esposito asked.

So Kate was there, well at least that was something. Her fathers head injuries might not be as bad as she first thought.

"She what?" Ryan asked shocked.

Esposito held his had up to silence his partner. He had kept quiet before but standing in the quiet hospital halls waiting to hear how his three friends were doing had pushed him to the limits. Alexis thought she was old enough to make decisions for Castles and Becketts future, then she was old enough to hear the truth.

"She didn't think he was dying but because of you Castle thinks she doesn't really love him."

Alexis stared at the Detective; he was blaming her for all of this.

"Wait she actually told him, where was I." Ryan was shocked. He knew that Beckett loved Castle and visa versa but he thought he was going to have to wait a few more seasons before either of them actually did something about it; especially after Alexis had stepped in.

"You were being looked at by the paramedics. The point is Beckett finally told him but he didn't believe her. Honestly can you blame him, she wouldn't let him help her put her coat on, drink his coffee. She rejects him one minute and then tells him she loves him the next. No wonder the guy is confused and it has nothing to do with the head injury. It's all your fault," he pointed at teenager in front of him.

Alexis bottom lip trembled. "Hhh How is this my fault."

Esposito shook his head. "Don't play dumb Alexis; your father is better at it than you are. We know you broke up Castle and Beckett."

Rage filled her. "Broke them up. Broke them up, they weren't dating. Kate was just screwing him."

The detective and teenager stood face to face, both breathing heavily, anger clear on both their faces.

"Oh so your father is the innocent one in all this is he. What about Beckett huh. She has been in a vulnerable position and your father took advantage of that."

"My father would never do that."

Esposito knew he was being harsh on the young girl but she had to hear it.

"And neither would Beckett. We know you went and spoke to Beckett after she and your father slept together."

Alexis eyes widened. Oh no, they knew, they knew what she had done.

"I had to protect my father I didn't want him to get hurt," she tried to reason with the detective.

Esposito nodded. "Just like Beckett didn't want you to get hurt."

Alexis frowned, what. Kate didn't want her to get hurt, like Kate even cared about her.

"Beckett wasn't ready to admit she loved your father, she wasn't ready for a relationship then. She was too confused and messed up. What she needed was time to understand what she was feeling. Time to spend with your father, so they could both figure out what was going on. Yet she couldn't do that because she wanted to protect you. She couldn't go to him and tell him about what you wanted as she was afraid it would put a strain on your relationship with him. She lost her mother and had a strained relationship with her father for awhile, she didn't want you to experience that. So instead of you being hurt she ended up hurting herself and Castle."

Alexis' chin began to tremble; Kate had tried to stop her from being hurt. She closed her eyes and tried to fight back the tears. Oh God what had she done, how could she have been such an evil bitch. She had blackmailed Kate into doing what she wanted by playing the lost parent card. What kind of person did that? A selfish spoiled brat, an idiot, a stupid pathetic moron. She was all of those things and more. She hadn't even thought Kate would care about her relationship with her father. It would mean that Kate cared about her and she honestly didn't think she did. Yet Kate had given up on her father because she had asked her to. Kate had stopped the sleepovers, stopped the intimacies, and had stopped the coffee. Coffee. Oh god the coffee. If they hadn't had an argument about the coffee, her father wouldn't have stormed off. Detective Esposito said they were going to talk later that night but if they didn't have the fight than there would have been no reason for him to leave. If she hadn't told Kate to stop the coffee, than she wouldn't have tackled detective Ryan for his. Her father would have stayed at the crime scene. It was her fault her father had been in an accident. She could have lost her Daddy today because she had been so selfish. Tears ran down her face as she shook her head.

"It's all my fault. I did this. I did this to my father. I did this to Kate. I have to fix this I have to speak to Kate; I have to tell her how sorry I am. Where is she?"

Alexis watched as the two detectives look nervously at each other.

"What's going on, where is she?"

Esposito sighed and led Alexis to some chairs down the hall.

"What happened? Why are you procrastinating?"

"We're not," Ryan told her sitting down next to her.

Alexis looked between the two detectives sitting either side of her.

"Where is Kate" she demanded.

"Two floors up," Detective Ryan informed her.

Panic filled Alexis. Two floors up, as in she was in the hospital. Why was she in the hospital and not by her father's side?

"What are two floors up?"

"Her room."

Her room. Kate had a room. Kate had a room like her father had a room. Kate was in the hospital because she was hurt or injured or much worse. Oh God what had she done?

"What happened, is she ok."

Detective Esposito shrugged. "It depends on how you look at it. She collapsed."

"She collapsed. Is she ok? What happened?" she felt just as much fear, hearing Kate had collapsed as she had when she heard her Dad had been in an accident. All the hatred she had felt for Kate only minutes before just slipped away.

"She's ok. Just exhausted that's all. Not surprising really. I mean after the way she has been feeling lately. Then to do what she did, the strain she would have put on her body in order to save you Dad. It was truly heroic." Esposito didn't like to throw the "Hero" word around after all he had seen, but today it fit.

"Wait what? She saved Dad, how?"

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, where to start.

Ryan sighed winching when his nose filled with pain. He might as well start with what he knew. He was a little annoyed he had been left out of the loop about the Beckett Castle I love you. "Beckett put her life on the line for Castle today. When Esposito and I came across the accident we didn't realise it was your Dad at first. Then the taxi driver started yelling his wife was going to kill him if he had killed her favourite author. As soon as we realised it was Castle Espo rang Beckett."

"I figured she would want to know. She was already on her way back to the precinct and was only a few blocks away from the scene. She got there pretty quickly and it turns out she parked the car and ran. She ran in the condition she was in and in heels."

Ryan shook his head. "I still don't know how she does that, it took me ages to learn how to run in dress shoes instead of my runners."

Esposito shrugged. "Anyway your father was still in the taxi and he was trapped."

"Trapped," how was that possible? He didn't have any serious injuries from being crushed inside a car.

"Yeah, the other taxi hit the back door and slammed the car up against a pole. Both back doors couldn't open, but the front ones could. Your Dad was unconscious and slumped forward" Esposito decided to leave out the bit about there being blood on the partition; he figured he had already put the kid through enough today. Especially considering she was already showing remorse for wt she had done. "We couldn't be sure what his injuries were. When Beckett arrived I tried to keep her away from your father, she already looked pretty worked up. Once she realised he was stuck in the taxi, there was no stopping her. I mean I did try but I could see she was determined and I thought she couldn't get herself in trouble."

Ryan laughed. "Yeah right. Beckett and Castle are always getting themselves into trouble."

Alexis frowned at the detective, this was not helping.

"If she couldn't get herself in trouble then how did she save Dads life, why did she need to save Dads life?"

"While Ryan and I were trying to sort out the chaos with the traffic I noticed the other taxi had caught on fire. When I yelled at Beckett about the situation she told me to clear the street. She wasn't going to leave your father, not that I blame her."

"If Jenny were trapped I wouldn't have left either." Ryan added in not wanting Espo to have all the limelight.

Beckett hadn't left her fathers side, she had stayed even though her life was in danger.

"How did she get him out? The nurse said he was dragged through glass. Is that true"

"She broke the back passenger window to get to him. She used her gun like a hammer. I saw her climb inside after she did it." Esposito had been pealing Ryan off the pavement when he had heard the glass break.

"Yeah but I saw her try break it with her elbow, before that guy decked me that is. It was like something out of terminator, she just kept going and going like she didn't feel any pain. It was kinda scary."

Kate tried to break the car window with her elbow. That was just crazy, not only would it hurt like hell but an almost impossible quest. Yet according to Ryan she kept going and going. After she had attempted that, she had smashed the window with her gun she had climbed in. Kate hadn't stopped at getting to her father. A car was on fire somewhere nearby and she had climbed into a car putting herself in danger. Kate had put her life on the line to save her father. She had done it to save her father. Her father who was no small man.

"Wait, are you telling me Kate pulled Dad out the car on her own?" She felt like she was spectator at Wimbledon turning her bead back and forth between the detectives.

Esposito took and deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I don't know how she did it. One minute she is climbing into the car, telling me to get Ryan out of there. The next she is dragging your father across the road. I ran to help her once Ryan was out of the firing line. I picked him up and we both ran from the taxi and I can tell you that was no easy task. Castle isn't the heaviest person I have had to carry but he was certainly heavier than Ryan.

"Hey" Ryan protested. "You didn't carry me, you assisted me."

Esposito glared at his partner. "The point is Ryan, it wasn't exactly easy for me to lift Castle and carry him to safety, yet Beckett still managed to get him out of the taxi. It's no wonder she collapsed."

"Is that when she collapsed, after she got Dad to safety? When did she tell him he she loved him then."

"She didn't collapse then," Ryan told her almost glad it was his turn to play story teller as Esposito had gone off to make sure everyone on the street stayed back. "I mean she did lie on the ground next to me and close her eyes for a few seconds but as soon as Espo put your Dad on the floor next to her she sprang back up again. That was until the taxi exploded, she threw her body over his. We were far enough away to hopefully not get hurt but I still felt the heat. I covered my face with my hands but Beckett didn't. She used her hands to cover your fathers face."

Alexis' eyes widened. Beckett had used her body as a shield.

"She collapsed after the paramedics took you father away." Esposito shook his head at Ryan for dragging out the story. Who did he think he was, Castle? "When they were loading him into the ambulance he started to freak out a little, he was worried they wouldn't get to have there talk. I guess he was worried that Beckett would change her mind. So she told him the only thing he needed to know was that she loved him. She kissed him then too."

She kissed him. Kate told her father she loved him and then kissed him. In front of the paramedics, in front of Esposito, in front of everybody.

"But your father shook it off. He said something about her not loving him but he appreciated her saying it. She didn't even get a chance to respond because the paramedics needed to take him away. And that's when she collapsed. Whether it was what he said that made her collapse, her adrenalin finally giving out, or the fact that she hasn't been taking care of herself. Either way she hit the deck and I had to scrape her of the ground too."

Damn her father. Kate had finally told him she loved him and what does he go and do, act like a fool. She knew why he did it too, because Kate had made a death bed confession. Never in his books did any character admit something while some one was dying. He hated that, especially if it was a confession of love. If you told someone you loved them, moments before they died then for the last few seconds on earth they were left with so many questions that would never be answered. Or if the person who was dying made the confession than the person who lived had to spend their whole life wondering 'If only'. She remembered quite a heated argument with Gina when her father wouldn't change an ending because of death scene confession. Now he was using his own stupid theories to screw up his life, because she had screwed up his life. If she hadn't stepped in and kept Kate and her father apart maybe they would have been together now. Inset of lying in separate hospital beds they could have been lying on the couch at home. The two people she cared about so much could be home and safe, yet they weren't. Here in this sterile cold environment they would have to stay, apart! She had to do something to make this hell she had placed them both in bearable.

"I need to see Kate", she stood up and faced the two detectives. "Now. I have to do something I have to fix this."

AUTHORS NOTE: Ok so I know it's short, sorry. Going away this weekend and I wanted to get it up before I left. I hope you enjoyed it regardless.

Thanks to all who sent me well wishes for my hand. Its better but still not all that great and I of course have a tendency to smack it every now and then which flairs it up. I guess this is my punishment for hurting Castle.

Thanks also to lv2bnsb1 and Gabrielle roditi for some ideas on what Alexis could think of herself. It was interesting.


	32. Chapter 32

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Alexis finally realizes she has made a mistake by breaking up her father and Kate, now it's time to fix it. **_

Alexis stared at the door before her with dread. Lots of wonderful things were behind doors. Cash prizes, surprise parties but there were also some pretty bad things. She immediately thought of that Simpsons episode where every door Bart opened a man eating Lion came growling out. The only way he could get out alive was to figure out which was door seven, but all the doors had roman numerals on them. Bart had figured out that Rocky II plus Rocky V equaled Rocky VII, Adrienne's Revenge, and he had escaped with his life intact. Alexis knew that this wasn't door seven so there would be a man eating Lion behind it. Or at least a teenage eating Lioness, either that or Rocky himself waiting to sucker punch her. A blow she definitely deserved.

How could she have done this? Her father was the most important person in her life; her Grandmother was tying for second with Kate. Up until a few minutes ago Kate hadn't even been on her list, she had been the most unimportant person to her. A stranger on the street had been more important to her than Kate. Until Kate had done the unimaginable, she confessed to being in love with her father. That had immediately elevated her to position number two. Kate was important to her father which made her extremely important in her own life. She had already known Kate would be there for her, all she had to do was ask. That was, until she had screamed liked a banshee at her. Yet Esposito had said Kate had stayed away from her father, to stop her pain. So Kate really was there for her no matter what, which was so much more than her own mother had offered her. Kate cared for her, cared for her father. So no matter how scared Alexis was about opening the door and entering the room, she had to do it. She had to do it for Kate, because she had done so much for her. She had to do it to fix this fuck up she had created. After that she would then focus on not using bad language anymore, to Kate or anyone else. It wasn't lady like and she needed to stop. Maybe if she used another bad word instead of dropping the F Bomb when she as angry. The perfect word came to mind. Alexis. Instead of using filthy language whenever she felt the need to drop the F bomb she would just say her name instead. As far as she was concerned that was an even worse word.

Taking a deep breath and jutting her chest out like her mother had shown her to give her that extra bit of confidence; Alexis knocked on the door and waited for her future to answer. Hearing an almost growl come from within the room Alexis nervously opened the door. Kate was sitting up in bed, her body turned away from the door as she played with the drip that was attached to her arm.

"Kate?"

"Its Detective Beckett to you" she growled still not turning around. "It's about time someone turned up; I have only been pressing that stupid button for the last five minutes. This thing you have hooked me up to is finished. Disconnect me and let me go home. NOW"

Alexis approached tentatively. It was clear she was already quite angry and she didn't want to add to that.

"Kate."

This time the irate detective turned and glared at her for a brief second before her facial expression turned to one of shock.

"Alexis! I am sorry I thought you were the nurse."

She was sorry. SHE was sorry. Alexis had so much to make up for. Her eyes roamed over the woman before her. She had dark circles under her eyes and her face looked gaunt. Either the gown she was wearing was bleached bright white or her skin was a sickly grey. How was it possible she had changed so much in the short time since she had seen her? Had she done this? Alexis noticed the scratches on Kate's hand; she must have gotten those when she had smashed the window to free her father.

"ALEXIS"

Alexis was startled when the detective yelled at her. Kate must have been speaking to her but she hadn't heard she had been too busy observing the physical changes in Kate.

"Your fathers ok isn't he. I mean he wasn't hurt bad was he. He seemed ok but I wasn't sure if he had any internal injuries or not. I know I should have been more careful with his body, but oh god his body. He is not ok is he?"

Alexis watched as the detectives face crumbled and she covered her face with her hands as her body began to shake with tears. Running to the bed Alexis placed a hand on Kate's heaving shoulders.

"Kate he is fine."

Kate lowered her hands and looked at her.

"He's fine." The usually strong detective practically whimpered

Alexis nodded.

"Fine, like when they say on TV that the victim is in a serious but stable condition, fine? "

Alexis shook her head while she stroked her hand down Kate's arm.

"He is fine. He is bragging about his injures, fine."

Kate's bottom lip began to quiver.

"Injuries. What injuries?," Oh god he was injured. Because she hadn't been more careful, he had been hurt. She had hurt Castle.

"8 stitches in his head, bruised ribs and a sprained wrist. Although he is trying to say 12 stitches and broken ribs. So for dad that makes him more than fine,"

Kate nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

"So he's ok,"

"Thanks to you. I heard what you did, how you wouldn't leave his side even though the other car was about to explode. Trying to smash the window with your elbow, ouch seriously. but then to go as far as smash it with your gun. Is that how you got those scratches?"

Kate looked down and her hands.

"Yeah."

"You could have been killed. What you did was..." Alexis tried to find a word to describe what Kate had done; gallant, brave, then what Esposito said came back to her. "Heroic."

Kate shrugged. "I didn't do anything that he wouldn't do for me."

Alexis nodded, she imagined if the roles were reversed her father would have done the exact same thing, he had done something similar.

"Yes Dad would have tried to save you." And here was the kicker. "Because he loves you."

Alexis almost laughed at how quick Kate's head turned to look at her. The shock of disbelief made her smile to.

"And you saved him because you love him too."

Kate mouth gaped open slightly. Alexis watched as the shock in Kate's eyes turned to sorrow. The detective looked down at her hands and her jaw began to tremble.

"Yes Alexis I do love him, but you're wrong he doesn't love me."

Alexis briefly wondered if it was Kate who had the head injury and not her father, because right now he was making more sense than she was, and that was just scary.

"What makes you say that?"

Kate scoffed. "Because when I told him I love him, he told me I didn't. The only reason you tell someone they don't love you, is because you don't want them to love you."

"Or because you have this stupid theory about death bed confessions."

She watched as Kates brows frowned in confusion.

"What?"

Alexis sighed; this was going to be harder than she thought.

"Dad thinks the only reason you told him you loved him, was because he was dying. "

"But I didn't," Kate insisted. "I knew he was injured but I didn't think it was serious. I told him I loved him then, because he was worried we wouldn't get to talk later. I was going to tell him I loved him later on today. I was going to sit down with him and tell him everything but then the accident happened."

"You were going to tell him everything?"

Beckett nodded. "You said I only had to stay away from him if I didn't love him." Beckett shrugged took a deep breath before staring Alexis right in the eye. "I love him."

"Ms Beckett what is the problem now."

Alexis and Kate turned to look at the woman who had interrupted the heartfelt conversation.

"This bag of water you have hooked me up to is finished dripping into me; now unplug me so I can go home."

The nurse angrily stalked over to stand next to Kate's bed and made a few adjustments.

"So can I go?" Kate asked again.

The nurse turned to look at Kate her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.

"How many times do I have to tell you? No. No doctor in his right mind is going to discharge someone to go home on their own to take care of themselves. Especially when the reason they are in here is because they collapsed. BECAUSE THEY CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THEM SELVES."

Alexis watched as the detective seemed to get smaller in the bed, almost as if she was scared of the nurse. Although she didn't blame Kate, considering how the nurse yelled at her.

"Now Ms Beckett, get comfortable. You will be staying the night so make the most of it. You are going to get a good night's sleep and something decent to eat. Tomorrow if the doctor thinks you are ok, then you can go home, but not until then."

Decent to eat, in a hospital! Alexis wanted to laugh but didn't in case the nurse yelled at her. She looked at Kate who didn't look happy about spending the night. The nurse was right though Kate did need a good night's sleep, she looked exhausted. Alexis also knew that Kate wasn't getting any sleep at her own place. Esposito had told her Kate had been sleeping at the precinct, although Alexis had no idea where. There was one place Alexis knew Kate had been sleeping, and that was in her father's bed. Alexis had seen how relaxed and well, happy Kate had looked. Even when if she had been leaving early in the morning. Sure her father wouldn't be there but Alexis figured Kate would still prefer that over being stuck in here. Alexis didn't like the idea of taking on the nurse but it was her fault Kate was in the hospital, it was up to her to get her out.

"Get her discharge papers," Alexis ordered crossing her arms over her chest. She needed to remain firm on this.

"Look I know you think you are doing the right thing by your friend here but the place she needs to be is here."

Alexis summoned up her inner bitch, her inner Alexis.

"I don't think, I know. Staying here in this cold, sterile environment is not what is best for Kate. Eating dodgy food and being cared for by people don't really care, is not what is best for Kate. What is best for her is to come home with me. She will be cared for by people who love her. She will get a decent night's sleep in my father's bed. She will eat even if I have to jam it down her throat. Now get someone to come and remove that thing from her arm before she removes it herself."

"But" the nurse tried to protest.

"No buts, she is leaving and she is leaving now."

"Look"

"No, you look. All I have to do is make a few phone calls and I can get the press down here. Or better yet, ill just tell my father how badly you have treated the woman he loves. He knows some pretty influential people who donate a lot of money to this hospital, or at least they used to, if you know what I mean. So she can discharge herself against medical advice right; well that's why she is doing. Now stop acting like such an Alexis and go and get those papers."

The nurse shook her head and then raised her hands in a sign of surrender. "You know what this is so not worth it, I'll get her papers. The sooner she is out of here the better it is for me."

With a smile on her face Alexis watched as the nurse left. Step one complete, she was hopefully in Kate's good books. She turned to look at the gob smacked Kate, which suddenly made her very nervous.

"Is that ok?" well it was a bit late to be asking now but she hated when people made decisions for her.

Kate's face turned to that of a smile. "Stop acting like such an Alexis?" she asked with an amused expression.

Alexis then smiled and nodded. "Well I figured I've been acting far worse than a bitch and she seemed to be acting like that to, so it seemed to fit."

Kate shook her head at the young woman. "You haven't acted like a bitch Alexis."

Alexis scoffed. "Yes I did Kate, I was wrong to come between you and my father. I know now that you love him, and he loves you, because of me your apart. I was just so scared he would get hurt again; I never imagined the one to hurt him would be me. I know he puts on this brave face but he really is vulnerable like the rest of us. I am so sorry for what I have done."

Kate grabbed Alexis hand and gave it a tight squeeze trying not to wince as pain radiated though her hand thanks to the cuts on it.

"Alexis I don't blame you for what you did. You were trying to stop your father from being hurt, I get that. If I thought someone was going to hurt him I would try and stop them too. Your technique could have used some work though but..." Kate shrugged not sure what else she could say to appease Castles daughter.

Alexis grimaced. "Yeah, screaming at you to admit you love Dad before you have told him probably wasn't the best plan."

"No, but the way your father and I were carrying on wasn't right either. The three of us should have sat down and discussed what was going on. Talk about my issues with sleeping at my place. Maybe it would have helped me figure out exactly what is going on. Thanks to you I am seeing some professional help, it's not really working but it's a start I guess. I probably never would have gone and done that if it hadn't been for you. I realized I needed to get better and what I was doing wasn't working."

"You would have sat down and spoken to me about what's going on?" Alexis asked surprised.

Kate nodded. "Yes." She then changed her mind. "Well no, at least not at first. I am not really good about admitting that I have a weakness, to anyone. I guess if you had approached us, calmly," she said with a smile. "Asked what was going on, and told us about your fears than, yeah I guess I would have. I mean sure, I may have been a bit nervous and embarrassed about it but knowing how you felt would have spurred me to talk about it. Having any kind of relationship with your father means having a relationship with you. We were wrong not to tell you about what was going on, we shouldn't have been sneaking around. I am sorry."

Alexis laughed. "You're sorry. No Kate it's me who is sorry. I shouldn't have butted in, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I want you to know how truly sorry I am and I am going to everything I can to get you and Dad back together. After that I'll do whatever you want to keep the two of you happy. I'll take on more activities at school so I am hardly ever home, or ill study every night at Paige's and come home late. You won't even notice I am there. I'll be at college soon so ill pick one far away. If that's not good enough ill go to a boarding school or go and live with my mother. I'll do anything." Alexis didn't know what else she could offer Kate. Those options she had just offered would be hard for her, but it was what she had to do. She wanted her father to be happy and Kate made him happy.

"No, no Alexis. You're jumping the gun a bit here. Your father and I aren't even together, and even if we were, the last thing your father would want is to see less of you. He loves you Alexis, you make him so happy."

Alexis shook her head. "Not when he finds out what I did."

"He loves you," Kate reiterated. The young woman was being so hard on herself and Kate was in limbo. Yes she had been angry at Alexis for forcing her to stay away from Castle yet she agreed with why she did it. It was obvious she regretted what she had done and was willing to pay penance by going to live with her mother. Which in Kate's opinion was totally unnecessary, staying with her mother was a fate worse than death according to what Castle had told her?

"Ms Beckett I hear you are leaving us."

Kate watched as the nicer nurse who had helped settle her in returned. She slapped some papers on the table next to her bed along with a tray she then walked around the bed and immediately began working on her hand with the drip. Thank god she was finally going to be free.

"Yes my friend here has offered to baby sit me," she threw Alexis a grateful smile.

"There we have it,"

Kate was handed back her hand which was now free.

"Sign the papers and you can go."

Kate looked from the nurse to Alexis. It was that easy, she could just go. The next time she was in hospital she was bringing Alexis along. Signing the papers and handing them to the nurse before she left Kate couldn't hold back her excitement. She was leaving the hospital, she was leaving with Alexis. Alexis clapped her hands and then rubbed them together.

"Let's get you dressed and off to see dad. It's about time he knew the truth."

The truth, everyone needed to know the truth. The truth about what had been going on between herself and Castle, the truth about everything.

"Alexis wait."

Alexis had walked over to the cupboard and had pulled her clothes out. She dropped them on the bed beside her.

"What is it Kate. You do want to come home with us right, because dad would kill me if I let you go home on your own. I could come home with you if you don't want to stay with us."

Kate shook her head. "No, no that's not it. I really appreciate you taking me home with you. I am feeling better juts knowing I am going there. I know you are all ready to play happy families, the thing is if we are going to be truthful about everything then there are some things I need to tell you. Well you and Martha."

Alexis shrugged. "Ok well after we see dad we will have plenty of time to talk at home."

Kate nodded and took a deep breath. "OK, well let's go and see Castle"

**Authors Note: Hey all sorry for the delay, this chapter was so much harder to write than I imagined. I am also nearing the end of this story and have all these ideas for other stories. Those ideas were on my mind so the great LittleLizzieZentara suggested maybe writing one of those one shots to get it out of my system. So look out for a new one shot from me it should be up on the next 24 hours I hope. **

_Reality Vs Fantasy. _

_"Beckett had always known her fantasies about Castle would get her into trouble someday. That day had arrived."_


	33. Chapter 33

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough, After discovering that Kate does love her father Alexis decides to mend bridges by breaking Kate out of hospital. **

Alexis watched as Kate stared at the door that led to her father. Kate's shoulders heaved up and down as if she were hyperventilating over the fact that she was about to face him again. Kate, 'Super Cop', was afraid of facing her helpless father. It amazed her at how the tables had turned, her dad had admitted to being afraid of Kate on more than one occasion. Alexis gave Kate's upper arm a light squeeze.

"It's going to be Ok," she informed the tense detective.

Kate looked at her and nodded quickly. "Oh I know," she was almost trembling as the words tumbled from her mouth. "It's just, when I first told him I loved him I was running on adrenaline, I didn't even think about being scared because scarier stuff had just happened. But now, now I am running on fear, he already rejected me once."

"He didn't know," Alexis interrupted. She was really going to have to smack her father once his head wound healed. Then she would follow by hitting herself. Alexis watched as the seconds ticked past, Kate's face filled with more and more fear. "I'll be there, or I can leave it's up to you."

A weak smile broke out on her face. "I am being stupid aren't I? I mean it's just your father; I've faced serial killers before. This should be a walk in the park."

"You don't offer up your heart to a killer."

Kate bit her lip and nodded at her almost shaking with nerves. "Would it be ok if I asked for a hug?"

Alexis looked at the detective through shocked eyes. Kate wanted to hug her? She couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her.

"Are you sure you don't mean you want to strangle me?"

Kate frowned at the young woman before her. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Duh I broke you and dad up. I am surprised you would even want me to touch you. I am repulsed by self right now, it shocking that you're not. I thought it would take us forever to get back that closeness where we can hug again."

Kate shook her head. "You made a mistake Alexis, you know that and you are trying to fix it. I could spend the rest of my life being angry at you but then I would never really live. You taught me that I need to get over things, move on from them. Not to forget them but to learn from them."

Alexis nodded. She could spend the rest of her life feeling guilty about what she had done or she could spend the rest of her life trying not to do it again.

Kate grabbed Alexis hand and squeezed it. "I'd like to think we are back to the closeness we had, after all I don't ask just anyone to help me put my bra on."

Alexis had to laugh at that. When Kate was getting dressed Alexis had stayed in the room but had simply turned her back. After a few grunts and groans Kate had let out a sigh and then asked her if she could help do her bra up. Not only was her elbow sore and protested at being bent but she had a cut on her finger, right where she needed to hold her bra strap. After helping her with her bra Alexis then offered her jacket to Kate after seeing the one she had was covered in blood. Wearing her jacket now the detective looked at her expectantly. Alexis opened her arms and Kate gratefully entered them. The pair hugged for a few seconds before Alexis pulled back.

"Now you're hugging the wrong Castle. Get in there and prove dad he was wrong." Alexis opened the door and walked in. "Hey dad, look what I found?"

She had interrupted a conversation between her father and grandmother and they both stared at her, almost confused until she turned and allowed Kate to walk into the room.

"Hey Castle."

When her father's face broke out into a huge smile, Alexis knew she had done the right thing, this time. Going to see and Kate realising that the woman did love her father, was the best thing she had ever done.

"Hey Beckett. You're ok right? I got a bit worried there for a second."

Alexis shared a look with Kate, was she going to tell him she had collapsed. Was there any need to? She was just being kept in for observation; her father would only worry if he knew the truth.

Beckett laughed at Castle. "What do you think? Out of the two of us you're the one who is in the hospital bed."

Alexis smiled at the way in which Kate had answered her dad, it wasn't an outright lie. Beckett approached his bed and noticed that Martha who was seated next to it, made no attempt to move out of the way. The look on her face wasn't angry, more curious, and she kept throwing glances to her granddaughter. She was probably trying to figure out what was going on. Beckett had no doubt that Alexis would have told Martha about the whole situation. She had won over Alexis but Martha was a different story. If she just let her have her moment with Castle then she could hash it all out with the two women later. Beckett squeezed in the gap between Martha and the wall to stand next to Castle's bed.

"So Alexis tells me you have broken ribs and like 15 stiches," inflating Castles ego always made him feel better.

He smiled at her giving her a big toothy grin. "That's the story you tell the media ok. We need to make me look good. If they find out what you did in order to rescue me, only for me to have a concussion and a few scratches, well I'll never live it down."

Beckett had to laugh at him. He could have died today or been left with serious injuries yet he was using humour again to make it seem like nothing. She hoped he wasn't covering up anything more serious. If that was the way he wanted to play it than that's what she would do. It probably took his mind off what he almost lost. Beckett shrugged at him.

"I didn't do much Castle. Just pulling your weight around as usual."

"Much?" Martha asked. "You saved his life. According to detective's Ryan and Esposito, you were like Superwoman, swooping in and saving my son."

"Detective Ryan said she was like The Terminator on a mission, slamming her elbow into the window," Alexis added. Kate may be willing to downplay her part in the day's events but Alexis wasn't.

Castle looked at the woman before him. She looked tired and exhausted yet she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Mother told me how you saved my life. Climbing into the taxi when the other one was on fire was pretty stupid."

Beckett smiled at him. "Well I guess you're rubbing off on me Castle."

Castle smiled at her joke and nodded. "Yeah I have done some pretty stupid things in my life, but still, it was pretty dangerous."

Beckett shrugged it off again; she wanted to move on from this. "Hey, we are partners, it's what we do. No matter what, we are there for each other. You have been helping me out recently it's about time I did something for you."

Castle scoffed, then held his ribs when pain radiated through them. "Yeah because me sneaking into your place, and turning on the heat, is the same as what you did for me. You could have been hurt."

There was humour in his voice but Beckett knew there was seriousness in there to. Until then she hadn't really thought about what she had done. Castle was trapped, he needed to get out. That was all that had really been running through her mind. Get to Castle. Make Castle safe. Danger, fire, explosion. Those words hadn't really ever entered her mind. Her own safety hadn't even been something she had considered. Just his!

"But I wasn't hurt, I am alright and so are you." She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Just like I told you, when you were fretting before going into the ambulance. I knew you were going to be fine. I knew nothing was going to happen to you. You need to trust me bit more Castle, we would have been fine to have our talk now. You have no patience though." She stated to laugh but stopped when he wrenched his hand from hers. She looked at him shocked. "Castle"

"Your hands are hurt," he told her trying to brush off his actions.

Her right was worse than her left, which was the reason why she needed Alexis' help putting her bra on. Yet she had held his hand with her left.

"It's not that bad."

She would have made an attempt to hold his hand again but he made a point to tuck them under the sheets. Beckett looked over her shoulder at Alexis and then down at Martha. Well if she had made her first admission out on the street with the paramedics close by then she could do it with his family here.

"Listen Castle about what I said when they were putting you into the ambulance."

He shook his head. "Can we not talk about that? It wasn't my finest hour."

"You were scared Castle but that's not why I said what I said. Castle I"

"Kate," he practically yelled at her. "I really just want to forget about today. It was pretty horrific for everyone involved and I think tis better if we just put it behind us."

No this couldn't be happening to her again. Why was he being so stubborn about this, that was her deal.

"No Castle I don't want to put it behind us. I lo..."

"Kate"

Beckett angrily looked at Martha who had interrupted her.

"I think it would be best if you leave. If we all leave. It's been a hard day for everyone and I think Richard needs his rest."

"But"

"You need to think about what's best for Richard." The older woman reaffirmed.

Beckett looked from Martha to Castle who wouldn't even look at her. She threw a glance at Alexis who seemed just as distressed as she was but simply shrugged at her. Maybe Martha was right; arguing with Castle wasn't how she wanted to confess her love for him. Neither had telling him while he was being taken away in an ambulance and look how that had turned out. Maybe she should wait, do this right. Give him a night to sleep on it and for him to realise how stupid he was being. She would come back tomorrow and see him. Force him to realise she spoke the truth and if Alexis was right he would admit to his own feelings.

"Ok. I'll go. You need your rest." He still wouldn't look at her so she simply ran a hand down his arm like Alexis had done with her a short time ago. "Until tomorrow Castle."

He still didn't look up at her just simply nodded. Beckett gritted her teeth as she tried to leave the room with as much dignity as she could muster. She made it just outside the door when the tears started running down her face. He wouldn't look at her, wouldn't let her explain. She had waited so long to tell him how she felt and now it might be too late. She tried to calm herself down. Castle had just been in an accident, he wasn't thinking clearly she tried to rationalise. She would go back and talk to him tomorrow when they had privacy, she would force him to listen to her. Yet now waiting one more day seemed like an eternity. For once in her life she didn't want to wait, she wanted to I've in head first without checking the water first.

"Kate"

She turned around and didn't even bother to hide the tears from the young girl. Without having to ask Alexis threw her arms around her. Kate rested her head against her shoulder and tried to stop crying but couldn't. She held the girl tightly not wanting to let go. Being held, is what she needed right now. 1

"I know I shouldn't be crying."

"It's ok. We will figure it out."

Kate nodded but continued to hold on. She couldn't do this on her own, she knew that now.

"What is going on here?"

Kate slowly pulled herself out of Alexis comforting embrace and tried to wipe away her tears. Somehow it seemed easier to be more open in front of a young woman rather than an older one. She then faced Martha, she wondered if this was how her boyfriends had felt facing her father.

"Alexis, I thought you didn't want Kate anywhere near your father, now you're hugging her. What is going on dear."

Alexis stepped in front of Kate as if protecting her.

"I made a mistake Grams, a big mistake. I got Kate discharged so she could come home with us. Kate wants to sit down and talk with us."

Martha frowned and turned her gaze to the woman her son loved deeply although for some reason was treating her badly. "You were admitted into hospital. You just told Richard you were fine."

Beckett bit her lip. "I collapsed but I am fine, really. I didn't want him to worry. I just need to start taking better care of myself and I plan to do that."

"And we are going to help with that," Alexis informed her Grandmother. "Kate's going to stay with us tonight. She needs to sleep and eat and we both know she does both very well at our place."

"Alexis I don't have to stay with you. I can go home I will be fine, really." Kate didn't want to start another rift in this family.

"Well then I am going with you," Alexis told her, arms crossed over her chest threatening Kate to challenge her.

"Alexis it's really not necessary. I appreciate the offer but I'll be ok. We can still talk if that's what you are worried about. We can go get a coffee; somewhere neutral if that's ok with you Martha?"

Martha looked at her granddaughter and the woman she hoped would someday be her daughter in law. Now looking at her closely she realised Kate didn't look well. The usually bright and energetic detective looked tired and pale. Her eyes seemed to have lost their sparkle, there was so much sorrow escaping from them.

"Well what are we doing standing around here then. Let's head home; they don't serve wine at coffee shops."

Relief washed over Kate, it was a start.

"Are you sure?" the detective asked.

Martha walked over to Kate and put her arm around her shoulders and started leading her out of the hospital.

"The question is my dear. Are you sure?"

Hey all,

Well some author say your shouldn't ask for reviews because you don't do it for the reviews, PFT you don't, but I do. Haa haa. I suck at reviews myself but just give me a shout out so I know you are all still there


	34. Chapter 34

**Authors Note: OMG wow thank you so much for all your reviews they were Amazing. I swear I think that's the most I have ever gotten, Thanks for all the helpful advice, the shout outs and even the reviews that said I suck at writing reviews too. LOL it really made my day. If anyone has thoughts or ideas on where they would like to see this story going I am open for suggestions so leave your ideas or future predictions in the reviews to. I don't mind the one word reviews, Awesome. Great. Horrible, but long ones are beneficial too. Even or are welcomed. So keep up the reviews people and as a special thankyou here is a double length chapter**

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough Beckett tried to confront Castle about her feelings but he refuses to listen. So Beckett decides it is time to confront the rest of the Castle family. **_

Beckett stepped over the threshold to Castles loft and stopped. She looked over the room, natural light still spilling in through the windows. None of the sensations she felt when entering her own place overwhelmed her. Over the last few months she had frequented this place more than she had over the last three years. It was becoming so familiar to her, she knew where to get a glass for water or wine. Where Castle hid the chocolate from his mother and daughter. The spare toilet paper was under the sink in his bathroom and extra towels in the linen cupboard, not that she ever used them. This wasn't her place yet she knew all of these things.

"Are you alright Kate?"

Kate turned to look at the young girl who seemed quite worried.

"Yes I am fine."

"Does it feel weird without dad being here?"

Beckett had to smile and shook her head. "No actually, it doesn't."

Alexis nodded. "Ok well would you like something to drink, water, coffee?"

Coffee, it was almost a forbidden word. Alexis had told her not to accept coffee from Castle yet now she was offering it to her. It was an olive branch and Beckett needed to take it.

"I'd love a coffee, thank you Alexis."

"Why don't you make yourself at home and I'll make it ok."

Beckett nodded at her before turning back to face the room. Home. This place was a home. This was Castle, Martha's and Alexis's home, and they were welcoming her into it. Beckett considered the table where she had shared meal with Castle and Alexis. It was probably the better option, to sit at the table all formal like and discuss what had been going on between Castle and herself. What she had done that the two women needed to know about. Yet she couldn't help but turn to look at the couch, the magic couch she had once labelled it. It was soft and comfortable and she had been comforted so many times on it. She felt safe there and she needed that security to confront her demons and Martha and Alexis .

Walking over to the couch she took off her boots before relaxing back into the softness. She pulled one of the pillows close to her and closed her eyes as Castles scent washed over her. He had sat here, when had he sat here? How long did his scent stay in the fabric? Could she take this pillow home with her? Snuggling her face into fabric Beckett let out a contented sigh. How was it possible for his scent to fill her with such a sense of relief, such happiness, yet sorrow. She needed to explain everything to Alexis and Martha and even a bit to herself. Then maybe with their help she could finally get her life back to being somewhere close to normal.

Feeling a hand on her shoulder Becket jolted, her eyes flashing open to reveal Alexis standing before her a coffee mug in her hand. Not even Castle was able to make her coffee that quick. Was this instant coffee or had she fallen asleep the minute her body laid on the couch. Beckett took the mug and drank deeply before realising Martha had joined her and had a bemused expression on her face. Beckett surmised she must have fallen asleep for a few minutes, and even in sleep her mind had been on Castle and his family. Swallowing half her coffee without taking a break Beckett smacked her lips together as the flavour assaulted her mouth. It wasn't her usual brew that Castle brought her but this was still good, there was the familiarity about it still. She frowned down at her cup, how was that possible, did Castle buy his beans from the same coffee shop.

"Is there a problem with the coffee Kate?"

Beckett looked at Martha who was drinking wine from what some would call a fish bowl. She shook her head at the woman who was sitting across from her.

"No, not really."

She took another gulp of coffee, what was it? She had always left in the morning without having a coffee here; she knew Castle would bring her one at work. When she had stayed at night it had always been late, so if she drank anything it was water. Even the night she had eaten dinner it had been wine.

"Alexis, did you check the milk to see if it had tuned. You know how your father can be about not checking dates."

Beckett clicked her fingers. That was it, the milk.

"Do you use the same milk as the coffee shop; they changed a few months back. You're left with a bit of an aftertaste, not completely horrible but it's noticeable."

Beckett looked at the two woman to see if they agreed with her. Martha was looking at her strangely while Alexis looked guilty.

"Alexis dear, did you put something in Kate's coffee?"

Beckett looked down at her mug in shock, had Alexis put something in it. Alexis looked even more guilty now that Martha had voiced what was obviously the truth.

"It's just a vitamin supplement," she informed them.

"Alexis that is very dangerous, you don't know what medication Kate is on and how it will react."

Beckett blinked Alexis had drugged her.

"It's safe, dad checked it with Dr Parish first."

Eyes widening Beckett looked from her mug to Alexis. "Your father has been drugging me?"

Alexis nodded. "I saw him putting this powder into a little container one morning, he said it was to give you a bit of a boost as you have been feeling flat lately. He said if they tried to get you to take vitamin pills you would refuse." Alexis shrugged. "I felt bad that you collapsed, I thought if you were still getting your coffee than you would have been getting the vitamins too. "

Beckett looked down at the coffee. Alexis had drugged her but Castle had been doing it before that. He had once threatened to drug her coffee saying it would be worth getting arrested for. Yet if she remembered correctly the coffee had tasted different before that occasion. It was an empty threat, he knew she would get angry at him for doing it yet he had been doing it for what, months? And Lanie, that treacherous conniving, saint. She had given Castle the ok to do it.

"Alexis make Kate a new coffee."

Martha made a motion with her hand for Kate to hand over her coffee but Kate refused. Instead she lifted the mug to her lips and drank deeply yet again. Castle had been drugging her for a reason, the same reason Alexis did it, because they cared. A fresh set of eyes on a situation was always good, they always saw something different. Castle and Alexis looked at her and saw she needed a boost and this was their way of giving it to her. The idea of being drugged for months should cause her to be angry but she wasn't. Castle cared enough about her health and safety and risked his own , for her.

"I'll keep this one thank you."

She took a few more sips before placing the almost finished coffee on the table and faced the two woman. Facing serial killers wasn't as scary as this but it had to be done.

"So?" Martha asked placing her wine down on the table and crossing her arms. "Is somebody going to explain what is going on here? The last I heard you were in the bad books with my granddaughter here, now she is playing mother hen, what happened?"

Beckett opened her mouth to speak buy Alexis beat her to it.

"Kate loves dad."

Martha looked at the two of them before throwing her arms up dramatically.

"Well we knew that dear. What happened to make you change your mind about her?"

Beckett looked at Martha shocked. Martha knew she loved her son! How? When? Seeing her shocked look Martha roiled her eyes.

"Oh please dear, we have all been watching the two of you dance around each other for awhile now. We were all wondering when you two would figure out if you take one step closer you can dance together." Martha turned to her granddaughter beside her. "So what happened?"

Alexis smiled at her proudly. "Kate told dad she loved him."

It was Martha's turn to be shocked now. "Well how come I didn't see an announcement on a billboard in time square."

Beckett couldn't help but smile, that did sound like something Castle would do. She watched as if the air had been sucked out of Alexis as she sagged.

"Dad didn't believe her. Tonight they were going to have a talk about everything that was going on. Kate was going to tell him tonight, but then the accident happened. She told him before they put him in the ambulance."

Martha sighed loudly. "Death bed confession."

Alexis nodded. "Although it wasn't,. Kate really loves him. Don't you?."

Kate nodded at them, she did. Maybe that time square thing wasn't such a bad idea.

Martha shook her head and picked up her wine. "There are sometimes I just want to hit my son for being so stupid."

Beckett froze. Hit my son. Hit Castle. This is why she was here.

"Look, I haven't exactly given Castle any reason to believe that what I was saying was the truth, and I think it's about time I told the two of you what has been going on."

"You mean your little slumber parties?" Martha asked before taking a large sip of her wine, finishing off the glass.

Beckett nodded. , watching as the woman rose.

"Alexis told you all about them, I guess."

Martha shook her head as she walked off to grab the bottle of wine off the counter. "You know for a detective you're good at finding clues, but you're not very good at hiding them."

Beckett frowned, what was she talking about? Had she already drunk more than one glass of wine? What clues had she left behind for them to find. She had always been quiet about entering the house, always came when it was late.

"You left your vehicle quite close to the building dear."

Beckett's mouth gaped open. Rookie mistake.

"At first I thought perhaps you had taken Richards car but then it started becoming a habit. There was also the jacket left occasionally in the cupboard when I got home but wasn't there when I got up."

Beckett bit her lip. When she had stated coming regularly it had become a habit, enter a place take your jacket off, leave, put it on. She knew Castle wouldn't be happy to know his mother had outwitted them.

"There was also the time I came home quite late to change and head back out. I had run out of some of my hair products and went into Richard's room to borrow his. I didn't even notice you at first, just walked straight in used his things and went to walk off. I thought what kind of mother am I, steeling his hair products, the very least I could do was tuck him in. That is until I saw you had already done that."

Beckett thought she might die of embarrassment.. She had been caught in bed with Castle, by his mother! Looking anywhere except at the woman Beckett shook her head.

"I can assure you, nothing happened. All we were doing in that bed was sleeping."

"That is a shame,"

Beckett now looked at the woman. Did she say it was s shame, a shame that all they had done was sleep?

"Eww Grams."

Beckett had to smile at the younger woman's discomfort. She was after all hearing her grandmother admit it was a shame her father hadn't had sex, with a woman sitting right in front of her. They were getting off topic though.

"Look I think I really need to explain exactly what's been going in under your roof."

The two woman opposite her seemed confused but sat back on the couch waiting for her to spin her tale.

Beckett took a deep breath. "I don't really know where to start."

"The beginning is usually a good place." Martha offered.

Beckett nodded, but where did the beginning start.

"I guess it all started during the terrorist case." She then shook her head. "No wait, I guess it really started way before that, with my mother."

"You're mother?" Alexis asked confused.

Beckett nodded taking another deep breath. It was hard talking about her mother to other people, but if these two woman were going to part of her life than they needed to know what they were getting into.

"When my mother was killed, I didn't take it very well, naturally. I was this dead empty shell of a person. I would sit on the couch for days on end, just staring at nothing, not feeling anything. It was like a vacuum had been put to my ear and sucked everything out of my head. I was in this cold dark desolate place." Beckett stopped as she realised the way she described the place she went to in her head sounded so much like she way she described her apartment.

"I refer to the place I went, as slipping into the darkness, it's the only way I can really explain it. It's a horrible place to be, it's scary. I wanted to escape that place yet escaping it meant going back to my real life and I didn't want that either. I sat on the couch ,hours upon hours absorbing myself in tv shows and movies and when all that there was on, was late night shopping, I turned to books." Beckett laughed. "I had never even heard of Richard Castle but there he was on the bottom of this box of books I had brought. From the first word I was transported away from my life, away from the darkness. It was strange, it's not like his books were filled completely with love or joy but I guess they were filled with hope. Eventually I was able to return to my life because of what I got from his books."

"I didn't know that dear."

Beckett looked up at the older woman. she had been fiddling with her hands not able to make eye contact with them as she revealed thingsd from her past she would rather have left there.

"Me either, dad never mentioned it."

Beckett shrugged. "He doesn't know."

"Don't you think you should tell him?"

Beckett smiled at Martha and nodded. "I will, soon. The point is, his books made me feel better, made me feel happier. I love reading his books, especially when something bad has happened. Whenever I feel myself slipping into the darkness I grab one of his books. Except now I have him in my life. When we were stuck in that freezer I felt that darkness start to overwhelm me. I was panicking about not getting out, about dying. What my life had amounted to, wether my mom was feeling the same things as she lay there dying. Then I see Castle just quietly sitting there, he seemed so calm, at peace. I eventually went and sat there with him and let him put his arms around me. I fought it for so long but I was glad I relented in the end. I felt so much better sitting there with his arms around me. When I told Lanie she said it was because I was warmer but that wasn't it. I did feel warmer but on the inside. The darkness that threatened to sweep over me just vanished. I realised I was going to die and I was ok with it, I wasn't welcoming it like I wanted to do when my mother died, but I was ok. The darkness should have swept over me but it didn't."

"That must have been scary for you Kate, I can't even begin to imagine." Alexis was glad she had made the called to the two detective about her father being MIA other wis e she could have lost two very important people.

Beckett shrugged. "It was at first but I had your dad with me. He has the ability to make the bad just go away, except the bad came back. Josh came with me to my place after we solved the case, tried to comfort me by holding me, but it just felt so wrong. We fought, he left to go back to work, a few hours later I went to have a shower and the darkness came back. I felt it creping over me like a black fog. The only thing scarier than being in the darkness is knowing your slipping into it. I got out of the shower and drove straight here. I could have gotten one of his books out but I guess after seeing the movie it's hard to go back to reading the books."

She watched as both Martha and Alexis smiled at her play on words

"Once I got here I was nervous though, I don't like asking for help and I saw this as a weakness. I sat in my car for a few hours looking up at this place, it did make me feel a bit better but I needed more. I got out of the car and walked to the door but chickened out so I called him. I thought if I could just hear his voice I would feel ok and I could go home. He was sleeping of course, it was the early hours of the morning. I woke him and I felt bad so I hung up and started walking back to my car. He knew though, he knew something was wrong. Castle called but I hung up again, I felt guilty for waking him up. Yet he knew, knew that I was close by, knew that I needed help. Within seconds he was dressed and chasing me down the street. Took me by the hand and brought me here, on this couch and held me. It was what I wanted, what I needed."

Beckett ran a hand affectionately over the couch cushion.

"It's like this couch has magical powers or something, I always end up feeling better when I am sitting on it. That sounds crazy right?"

"Not at all, it means your comfortable here." As if accentuating her point Martha slid down slightly and relaxed back on the couch like she was a character from The Great Gatsby.

Beckett nodded, she was comfortable here. The thought worried her slightly; she was becoming dependant on something for her peace joy and happiness. Then again she was feeling peace joy and happiness so was being dependant on something really so bad. Beckett decided she needed to continue on with her story; the truth had been hidden for too long.

"We stayed on the couch a few hours before we went to bed."

At Martha's raised eyebrows she amended her statement.

"To sleep! We went to sleep. Castle offered me his bed and by then I was too exhausted to argue. He was going to sleep somewhere else but I guess I was still a bit, scared, worried, afraid. I don't know what. I sure as hell didn't admit it to him, but I did ask him to stay. We slept in the same room but he was on top of the covers and I was under. He changed into his pyjamas and he gave me some of his clothes to wear."

Martha laughed. "Dear you don't have to explain yourself to us."

Beckett nodded. "Yes I do. I was still with Josh at the time and I don't want you to think that I am the kind of woman who would do something like that. Your opinion of me, matters."

Martha shrugged as if it didn't really matter but Alexis seemed to have a relieved look on her face. Beckett wondered what that was about, had Castle been cheated on before?

"The next morning when you called from the Hamptons Alexis, Josh had come around here and accused your father and I of having an affair. Which is why I wan't the both you to know that nothing happened. I broke it off with Josh then and there, I really should have done it the night before when I realised his so called comforting arms made me feel worse. Although I didn't realise it at the time your invite was exactly the thing I needed. Spending two days with the three of you at your place in the Hamptons was one of the best times I have had in awhile. I know at first I was a bit upset, its just seeing the three of you interacting together reminded me so much of my own family. You made me realise Alexis that family's come in many different shapes and forms, once I realised that I started feeling happy. You welcomed me into your family, something I felt like I hadn't been a part of for a very long time. I had the most amazing time, I found myself doing things that I never would have done otherwise."

"Like playing twister" Alexis offered with a smile.

Beckett laughed. "Yes, playing twister. Cheating at Monopoly, I am usually such a stickler for the rules. Even just relaxing on the beach reading a book, or pushing Castle into the freezing cold water."

Alexis laughed. "Dad said you pushed him in but I didn't really believe him? I was concentrating more on the fact that you were probably just as crazy as my dad for being in the water. So you pushed him in huh?"

Beckett nodded not being able to suppress the smile that was growing on her face. "I was trying to read and he shoved this dead slimy thing in my face. He wanted to give it a burial at sea so I decided to placate him and get up and help so to speak. When he threw it in the water all this slime came off and landed on his face. He made the mistake of bending down to wash it off in the seas water .I well; I don't know what came over me. I just had this sudden urge to push him in as payback for waving the dead thing in my face. All I expected to happen were for his knees to get wet but it seems the ocean wanted some pay back to. As I pushed him in a huge wave crashed on the shore and it covered him from head to toe."

Even the debonair Martha started laughing at this.

"I felt bad for about two second before Castle started chasing after me."

"Dad ran? Now that would have been funny."

Beckett shrugged. "Yeah he is no Olympic sprinter and he had the disadvantage of being wet. I ran ahead for a bit before circling back to be within yelling distance. Showing off never pays and when I jumped off this small sand dune I stumbled and that's all it took. Before I knew it Castle had me over his shoulder and we were in the water. I tried to bribe him with a kiss; I didn't want to end up in the water I could feel it was freezing from his wet clothes. The rat made believe he was going to accept my bride before he dumped me in. We were trying to get back at each other when you saw us in the water, Alexis."

Martha had watched the woman before her transform. When telling the details of her mother's death she looked almost haunted, yet retelling the misadventures of herself and Richard had her smiling.

"You know your positively glowing when you tell that story Kate."

Beckett was almost embarrassed at Martha admission. Remembering that day's events always brought a smile to her face. "It's a happy memory, I've been making a lot more happy memories the last few years and most of them include your son."

"Like this one." Alexis leaned forward and handed her phone to Kate.

Beckett took the phone and expected to see the picture of Castle doing his victory dance. Instead she saw one of herself and Castle. She tapped the screen and zoomed in. Happiness was an understatement of her obvious feelings in the picture in front of her, ecstatic was more like it. Castle seemed to be feeling the same based on his almost joker like grin. The picture had been taken when Castle had given her a horsey ride. Their hair was being whipped by the wind and their clothes were soaking wet but neither of them seemed to be too fused by it. It was no surprise they didn't realise Alexis had taken the picture of them they were too busy grinning like idiots at each other. It was as if the rest of the world simply didn't exist. Beckett was tempted to close her eys and return back to that event, when things were good.

"Can you send it to my phone, I'd like to get a hard copy of that picture."

"Sure," Alexis took her phone back. "Do you want this one to." Alexis scrolled her finger across the screen before handing the phone back to Kate.

Beckett took the phone back and wondered what this aspiring paparazzi had captured. Again it was of herself and Castle, this time they were standing at his kitchen counter. Both were looking down at the chopping board in front of her. She had a slight smile on her face and he had a mischievous one. The picture looked as if Castle was putting his arm around her but she remembered he had moments later stolen piece of celery. She then remembered the day the photo had been taken and quickly handed back the phone.

"Umm no Alexis I don't think I want that one."

Alexis frowned. "Why not.? You to look very happy there, you were mucking around, even flirting a bit."

Beckett sighed. "Looks can be deceiving."

Seeing the confused looks from both women Beckett knew the time had come.

"This is the reason I wanted to speak to the both of you. What you don't see in the picture was what happened earlier in the day. Although I need to let you know what was happening before that, what led to the event."

The joy she had felt moment before seemed to have slipped away. She rubbed a hand over her face, could she do this, could she relieve that horrible day.

"I had a wonderful time with the three of you at the Hamptons but after that everything went down hill. I started having trouble sleeping at my apartment It just felt so cold and lonely and dark and empty. I couldn't get comfortable in my bed, I wasn't sleeping, I started to lose my appetite. I usually can survive a few days on little sleep but this was day after day. I started staying late at the precinct and going in early. Sometimes I would hide in the workout room and try get some sleep on the mats there or even sitting on the toilet in a cubicle. It lasted a week before Castle said anything about it. He made me feel guilty for not coming to him about it. So I stayed here one night and then I started making a habit of it. I would try and sleep at my place but when that wouldn't work, I would come here. Castle said I was welcomed whenever I liked but like that first night I saw it as a weakness so I only came if I was desperate. I would call first to let him know I was coming, except one night he didn't answer. I called a few times but he still didn't answer. I couldn't sleep so I ended up going into the precinct and fell asleep on my desk. Castle eventually called me back but by then it was morning. He felt bad about not being there for me so when he came in he handed me a set of spare keys to this place."

Beckett's bottom lip began to tremble as the horrible memory flooded her mind. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself but it only made it worse she started to hyperventilate.

"I got so angry, I was already angry. Sleep, food and coffee deprived but that's no excuse for what I did. I don't know why I did it. I still can't believe I did it. There is no excuse for what I did."

"Kate what did you do?" A worried Alexis moved onto the seat next to her and put a hand on her shoulder."

Beckett put her head down and tried to force back the tears but it didn't help. She gritted her teeth, scrunched up her face but nothing worked. The tear ran down her face.

"I hit Castle."

She felt Alexis hand on her arm suddenly stop and then lift off.

"What?" the young woman asked bowing her head down as if she didn't quite hear right.

Beckett lifted her head to look at Alexis who was showing so much concern for her.

"I hit your father."

Beckett watched as Alexis face turned from worried to confused.

"Was he acting like an idiot because there are times I feel like slapping him?"

Beckett shook her head. "No Alexis I didn't slap him, I hit him, I punched him." Her right fist clenched and her whole body shook at the sight of it. She quickly uncleaned it the sight was too disturbing.

"What did Richard do?"

Turning Beckett looked at Martha who seemed usually calm considering someone had admitted to striking her child.

"It doesn't matter what he did, viloen..."

"It matters to me" Martha interrupted.

Looking between the two women she took a deep breath.

"He called me a bitch."

Hearing a gasp from one of the woman she wasn't sure which Beckett was quick to remedy their thoughts.

"I said much worse to him, much much worse. He was just striking out." No that wasn't right. "He was trying to explain to me why he gave me the keys. I wasn't thinking straight. When he turned up I was already peaking and then he placed the keys on my desk. I ridiculously thought he was trying to let the while precinct know we were sleeping together, even though we weren't. I pulled him aside and started yelling at him, making accusations about why he gave me the keys. I through some harsh words at him before I went to storm off and that's when he said he gave me the keys to stop me acting like bitch. He later explained that if I had the keys then I could get the sleep needed and I was acting like a bitch because I wasn't sleeping. I know what I did was wrong, I regretted what I did as soon as I touched him. I don't know what came over me but I know I did it and I can't change that." A waterfall was now running down her checks and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Alexis had taken her hand off her arm but hadn't moved away, which Beckett hoped was a good sign. Over the top of the wine glass Martha regarded her briefly before finally speaking.

"Why are you telling us this Kate. This incident obviously happened some time ago and Richard didn't tell us so why are you?"

Martha did have a point; Beckett imagined Castle would never have told his family about what happened, to protect her.

"Because I want a relationship with your son. I don't want there to be any lies or misconceptions. If I had been truthful from the very beginning with everyone else, with myself, then none of this would be happening. It wouldn't be Castle in the hospital; it would be me, getting treatment for whatever is wrong with me."

The two woman stayed silent looking at her, she hoped weighing up their options. Beckett wiped at them glad that the steam was slowing.

"Look I am not asking you to forgive what I have done. Its unforgivable. What I am asking is if you can deal with it enough to let me be in Castles life."

A confused smile came across Alexis face.

"You're asking us if it's ok to date dad."

Beckett nodded.

Alexis shrugged at her. "I am not happy to hear that you hurt dad. What he said to you wasn't right but you mentioned you said some bad things to, so I don't know. I guess though, if you can forgive me for taking dad away from you than I can forgive this."

Beckett shook her head. "No Alexis it doesn't work that way. You were trying to protect your father from being hurt by me, a very valid concern. "

Alexis considered it before nodding. "Ok fine but I still say it's ok for you to be with dad. That picture I just showed you was a few hours after it happened right."

Beckett nodded.

"Well the way the two of you were acting together showed me how much the two of you really love and care for each other. I want that all the time for my dad and for you. If you willingly want to enter this crazy family then I am not going to be the one to stop you."

Beckett smiled and yet felt the tears starting to flow faster again. Alexis wanted her to be happy and she knew that meant being with her father. Beckett hesitantly put her hand on Alexis nee and gave it a squeeze. Martha watching the exchange leaned forward and placed her wine on the coffee table before lacing her fingers together and placing them on her lap.

"Why do you love my son?"

Beckett was startled by this question."

"I umm."

"Why is it you want to be in a relationship with him?"

"Gram." Alexis warned.

Martha waved off her granddaughter. "If she really wants to be in a relationship with your father than I want to know why."

Beckett sucked in a large breath before blowing it out loudly. "Umm I don't know, it's everything and nothing at the same rime. He makes me happy, he makes me smile. I love being around him. i..."

Martha held up her hand to halt the detective.

"Those are reasons you love Alexis and I. I want to know why you love Richard."

"Gram" Alexis warned again. "I told you, Kate doesn't love easily. Its enough that she loves dad."

"No its not." Beckett interrupted. Enough suggested that there was more to give but the person was willing to accept less. "I thought I wasn't lovable because I let my issue define who I was. I thought I couldn't love anyone but really I was just hiding from love. I loved my Mother and then she left, it wasn't her fault but she still left my life. I loved my father but then he wasn't there for me when I needed him the most. I didn't want to love because as far as I knew loving meant hurting. What hurts more is loving and not having that person know your love. I love my mother and my father, they are my family and I love them. I also love Castle. And you. And Martha. The two of you are a big part of his life, a big part of who he is. You can't love him without loving the two of you, you're stupid if you even try."

"And what's not to love," Martha said dramatically. "But my dear you still haven't answered my question. You love Richard but why?"

Alexis had inched towards Kate and was smiling at her with hope in her eyes. It was clear she was happy to hear that she was loved. It was also clear to know the details of the love for her father. Beckett leaned back on the couch and thought for a few seconds before smiling. This wasn't hard at all this, was easy.

"It's not something that I can put into words very well. It's this feeling I get when he is around or when I think about him. He makes me feel alive; he makes me want to live. Castle understands who I am better than anyone else, sometimes I think even better than I know myself. I am a cop and he knows that. My job is dangerous and I know that worries him but I know he would never expect me to give that up. It's apart of who I am and he accepts and respects that when so many others haven't. Castle would never try to change me, yet I have, because of him. I've changed into this person that I have always wanted to be, yet I honestly didn't think that woman existed anymore. I laugh, I smile. I can love and be loved." With that she placed her hand in Alexis and gave it a squeeze. "Castle has the ability to stimulate me intellectually the way no one ever has before. We can talk murder and mayhem and it doesn't freak him out. We can then discuss literature and plays and he actually knows what he is talking about. We can then also discuss which Skittle flavour is the best."

This ignited a chuckle from both Alexis and Martha.

"The point is we can talk. He will ask my opinion on something because he actually wants to know, not because its polite or he is trying to be conversational. Then he will listen, actually listen to what I have got to say. Castle may not agree with me but he will at least explain why he thinks differently not just automatically assume he is right. Together we will both form an opinion on the subject based on both ideas, and not just for a case either, for real life things too. I am on level ground when I am with him, no one is fighting to be top dog. I love him plain and simple. I don't know what else I can say to prove it to you Martha. I know I want to spend the rest of my life showing your son how much I love him. I'll do anything to prove to you that I do love him."

A huge grin broke out on Martha's face.

"Oh dear, you don't need top prove to me that you love my son I can already see that you do."

Beckett frowned. What hold the phone. How many glasses of wine had Martha drank today.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew the reasons you loved my son."

Beckett's face broke out into a huge toothy grin before she started laughing. She loved Castle, she really loved him and his family had accepted her. Beckett had to steady herself as Alexis threw herself into her arms. Beckett hugged the young woman tight; she didn't think she would ever get tired of holding Castles child. Martha got up and joined them on the couch she gracefully wrapped her arm Beckett's shoulders.

"Welcome to the family dear."

**So , what did you think, about time it was all out in the open huh. Sorry the past few chapters have been small, its just these eps of Castle have been awesome lately and I have all these one shot idea running around in my head that just need to break free. So ad me to you author alert so you can see what other little creations I have been working on.**

**Thanks guys**

**Happy Easter.**

**Bye Bye New Years resolution, Hello Easter eggs**


	35. Chapter 35

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

**Previously on Ain't No Mountain High Enough. Beckett sits down with Martha and Alexis and explained what has been going on between herself and Castle. **

Beckett closed the door and looked around the room before her. Castles room, Castles bed, yet Castle was nowhere in sight. He was lying safe and sound in hospital and it was time for her to go sleep. There was no doubt that she would be staying in Castles room tonight. At least no doubt in Alexis and Martha's mind. She would have been fine sleeping on the couch or anywhere else but the pair insisted Castles bed was where she belonged. If only he knew that.

Beckett waddled over to the chest of drawers, yes waddled. Alexis hadn't been wrong about shoving food down her throat. Both Martha and Alexis had plied her with enough pasta, garlic bread and salad that Beckett thought she was going to burst.

Opening the bottom drawer where Castle had kept her things she frowned when she saw her grey pyjamas were missing. Well that weren't really her pyjamas, just some of Castles clothes that had briefly become hers. The point was they were gone and she was disapoiunted. The towel and other things she would need to take a shower were still in the drawer, so she gathered them up and walked towards the bathroom. Placing her items on the toilet seat she turned to switch the shower on, when she spotted a pile of grey clothes on the tub. Crossing to the tub she picked them up and unfurled them. Her pyjamas, what were her pyjamas doing on the tub. She had always been good about putting them back in the drawer when she had used them. Had Castle simply returned them to his own collection of clothes having given up on her? Beckett couldn't help but bring the clothes to her face and take a deep breath. Castle they smelled like Castle. Taking another breath Beckett frowned, there was a hint of her perfume. Had Castle worn the clothes because they smelled like her, like she had been sleeping naked because his scent was in her bed. She needed to be close to him, had he felt the need to be close to her? If so that was a good sign, a sigh there was still hope for them.

Taking the clothes she placed them with her towel on the toilet seat and grabbed the shampoo and soap Castle had purchased for her, what seemed like ages ago. Opening the shower door Beckett was surprised at how large it actually was. Even though the door was normal size the shower cubicle extended behind what she had assumed was the tiled bathroom wall. There was also a seat like tiled ledge opposite the wall where the taps and shower head were. Placing her items on the ledge Beckett turned on the water and then stepped back out to undress. Once she stepped under the showers warm stream it felt as if the days stress washed away from her.

Was it only that morning that Castle had been in peril, that she had put it all on the line to save him? Beckett rolled her neck and massaged her sore muscles under the warm heeling spray. She had almost been afraid of having a shower at her place after what had happened in the shower the night she had almost died. The darkness slipping over her, the sliding to the floor and sitting there staring mindlessly at the wall. Five minutes had been the longest time she had spent in the shower since that night, but not tonight. Even though Castle wasn't there she felt safe and comforted standing in his shower stall alone. She also felt extremely exhausted.

Spying the ledge she took a step back and sat on the cold tiled surface. The ledge was too long for her to sit with her back against the wall, the spray was also hitting her legs. Standing she readjusted the shower head before sitting down on the ledge again. This time she turned sideways and wedged her body in a sort of sitting foetal position. Her feet, the right side of her body and back each had its own wall while the left side of her body had the warm shower spray washing over her. Wrapping her arms around her body Beckett lent her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She almost fell asleep curled up in Castles shower. Adjusting her feet slightly she grimaced when her feet connected with one of the bottles that called the ledge its home. Rising out of her comfortable position Beckett went to move the bottle only to see it had tipped over and its contents was slowly oozing out. It wasn't one of the bottles Castle had bought for her rather one of his own. Beckett quickly scooped up the bottle and screwed the lid on tight. Knowing Castle the stuff probably cost an arm and a leg. Putting all the bottles on the floor Beckett spread put the liquid on the ledge with her foot so the water would wash it away.

Returning to her previous position Beckett closed her eyes wrapped her arms around herself and suddenly it felt as if Castle were there. Taking numerous deep breaths Beckett felt a euphoric feeling sweep over her., the hot water hitting the spilled liquid was causing its scent to swirl around her. The steam was Castle scented and it was driving her crazy. It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be her own arms holding her, it was supposed to be Castle. Images flooded her mind of all the times he had held her. She thought of the freezer first than of the numerous times on the couch. The thought that stayed with her was the first morning she had awoken to find Castles body wrapped around her own. Her legs had been intertwined with his and his arm was thrown over her waist. She wasn't quite sure what came over her when she snuggled back into him. It had been a big risk, he could have woken up but he hadn't. He simply wrapped his arm around her tighter and pulled her closer to him. She had stayed like that until the very last minute before she regrettably rose and made a mad rush to leave there and get back to her place. She had been late to work that day, it was worth it.

Opening her eyes Beckett stood up from the ledge and quickly finished her shower off. She would have liked to have sat there forever but she knew she needed her sleep. When she woke she would go and see Castle and tell him how she felt, no ifs or buts about it. After that happened she could spend as much time as she wanted in that shower. Right now she needed her rest and she wasn't going to get it standing in the shower. She quickly went through the motions of washing and drying her body before changing into her pyjamas and sliding into bed. Snuggling deep under the coves Beckett grabbed one of the pillows from Castles side of the bed and held onto it tight. Although she felt right at home here in her bed it felt like something was missing and that something was Castle.

**Later the next day**

Beckett smiled as her eyes opened slightly taking in the room, she was in Castle bedroom. She let out a small groan of pleasure, as she wriggled back only she didn't come in contact with his body. Wriggling further back Beckett frowned as she still came in contact with nothing. Opening her eyes wider she rolled over and looked at the empty space beside her. Castle wasn't there, it then hit her. He was in hospital. She turning to look at the clock on the bedside table.

12:30

Beckett threw back the covers and jumped out of bed, immediately regretting it as her body groaned in protest. It was 12:30 and judging by the streaming light that was spilling into the room it was 12:30 PM. She had slept for over 12 hours. How was that even possible? Making her way out of Castle's room Beckett entered the silent loft. Walking towards the kitchen she spotted Martha sitting on one of the stools at the breakfast bar flipping though a magazine. The older woman must have realised she wasn't alone as she looked up from the page and gave her a smile.

"Good morning Kate. Or should I say afternoon."

Beckett ran a hand through her tangled locks.

"I can't believe I slept for so long."

Martha pulled back the chair beside her and Beckett folded her body onto it.

"You obviously needed it. Alexis Kate is up." Martha yelled towards the stair well.

Beckett looked in the direction that Martha had yelled.

"Alexis didn't go to school today?" she certainly hoped the young girl didn't take the day off to look after her.

"You should feel honoured. When she was six she made us cover up her chicken pox with makeup so she could still go to school. She was no longer in the contagious stage but the doctor told us she should rest for a few days. Nope Alexis wanted to go to school."

On cue the younger redhead ran down the stairs and immediately engulfed Kate in a hug.

"Good Morning. Did you sleep well? Would you like some lunch."

Beckett watched as Alexis didn't even wait for a reply just ran around the counter and started pulling items out of the cupboards.

"I imagine even if I said no you would force me to eat."

Alexis smiled and shrugged. "Maybe but I am glad you slept for so long so if you said no I would have given you a break."

Beckett smiled at Castles daughter. When you were on her good side she was the most generous loving person. Beckett vowed to never get on her bad side again.

"I am betting you would have dosed my coffee with a double shot of vitamin powder right."

Beckett watched as Alexis looked up from what she was doing, and tried to keep an innocent look on her face. The corners of her mouth betrayed her as they tried to curl into a smile.

"I can see why dad gets annoyed sometimes, nothing gets by you."

Castle, he was still in the hospital. Beckett chastised herself for not asking about his well being sooner.

"How is Castle, has anyone called to see how he is going?"

Alexis looked over her shoulder as she opened the fridge.

"He is doing ok, I saw him this morning."

Alexis had seen him, they had gone to the hospital without her.

"What did he say, what did you say?"

She watched as Alexis carried lettuce, tomatoes and carrots and dropped them on the counter before responding.

"Well I wanted to ring his neck but I knew you wanted to talk to him first so I didn't really say much. Ryan, Lanie and Esposito were with me so it was just the basics."

Beckett turned to look at Martha. "You didn't go and see him."

Martha shook her head. "No. Ryan Lanie and Esposito came around here at about 8 am. Lanie wanted to check on you, seeing how you turned you phone off after telling them you were here."

Beckett lowered her head slightly embarrassed. She hadn't wanted to get any grief from Lanie about checking herself out of the hospital. A quick text to let her know where she was in case she tried to call the hospital and then she turned the phone off.

"I just didn't want Lanie to lecture me, that's all."

Martha shook her head. "Oh no she was fine with you being here. Glad actually. Seems she agrees you belong here to. Anyway they came to check on you but you were still asleep. We sent Lanie in but she said seeing how you didn't have a concussion there was no reason to wake you."

Beckett nodded.

"I do feel pretty good actually, better than I have in some time."

Beckett ran her hand through her hair before shaking her head.

"I just don't get it. Why is it, I can sleep here peacefully but I can't at my home."

Martha looked at her thoughtfully. "When did you first have trouble sleeping?"

Beckett took a deep breath and sighed. "After we all got back from the Hamptons. Although I didn't feel right in my apartment after the terrorist case."

Martha pursed her lips a few time. "So you slept fine here that first night and then you were also ok the two nights at the Hamptons?"

Beckett nodded wondering where Martha was going with this.

"Have you been able to sleep anywhere else?"

Beckett shrugged, sleep or pass out.

"A few hours at my place, if that. I would then just start my day or go to the precinct and try to sleep for another few hours there."

Alexis handed over a sandwich and coffee to Beckett before placing a plate in front of her grandmother and put another one next to that for herself. She didn't like where her grandmother was going with this line of questioning. Why was she interrogating Kate about where she had been sleeping? The point was, she had slept well here, that's all that mattered. Alexis watched as Kate took a big greedy bite out of the sandwich. She was eating; she was eating without even realising it, that was a good sign.

"Gram, leave Kate alone. She slept well here."

Martha placed a hand on her granddaughters shoulder.

"I am just trying to help Kate out."

"Its fine Alexis." Beckett told her through mouthfuls of bread. "I know I can accept help from people and its not a sign of weakness. Your father tried to help me sleep at my place. Wait I did sleep at my place. One night, no wait twice. Castle called me and read me to sleep the other he slept on the couch." Beckett failed to mention she had also slept on the couch with him. A smile then broke out on her face when she realised what also had nearly happened on her couch " Well actually three if you count"

"I don't want to know about the third time" Alexis said holding up her hand to halt the conversation.

Martha smiled. "So you can sleep here with or without Richard. Only sleep at your home if Richard is there with you in body or in spirit and slept on your own when you stayed with us at the Hamptons."

Beckett nodded. "Yeah I guess that's right."

Martha shook her head at her. "Well don't you see Kate. The reason for you insomnia is simple."

Beckett raised her eyebrows at her. "Really, because I can't figure it out. Neither can my Doctor or my shrink."

Making dramatic gestures with her hands Martha she rolled her eyes. "That's because they are over thinking it dear. You want to be with Richard. Your body knows it. Your heart knows it. It's just taken your brain awhile to catch up. The insomnia is your bodies' way of telling you it's not where it wants to be."

Beckett shook her head and opened her mouth to refute Martha's claim but nothing came to mind. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish. Drawing a blank she looked to Alexis for help but the young woman only shrugged.

"So your saying my body was love sick for Castles and it way of punishing me was not letting me sleep?" The idea sounded ludicrous but honestly it was better than anything her doctor or shirk had come up with.

"Well dear you spend most of your day with Richard its only you're nights that you are not together. I think your home doesn't feel like a home because its empty. I imagine your own home with your parents was full of life and happiness and loving memories. You have none of that with your own place, but you have that here. The longer you were away from here and Richard and the family environment the harder it was for you to feel at place in your own home."

Beckett looked at Martha and then at Alexis, Castles family. If things turned out the way she hoped than they would be her family too. Castle, his mother, and daughter weren't exactly what she would have imagined her family to be like all those years ago as a child playing house with her friends. Yet she knew now that they were the perfect fit for her. A band of misfits that made an incredible team. She meant what she said the night before, she loved them. Castle, his mother, Alexis. She loved them all for very different reason, but she still loved them. Being apart from Castle because Alexis wanted her to had been the hardest thing she had ever done. Not only had she lost Castle but she had lost his family to. Alexis had offered to move away once this mess was figured out but there was no way Beckett was going to let that happen. Unless of course Alexis wanted to move away for college. She wanted theses people close to her, to feel there love. It was almost a relief to think that, to put it out there. If Martha was right then her body was also craving this love and was willing to sacrifice itself until it got what it needed.

"Its taken you awhile tor realise you love Richard I hope it doesn't take him as long to realise you really do love him."

Beckett frowned at Martha, Richard, she always called Castle, Richard. l yes it was his name but usually family shortened the name. Came up with some sort of nickname. Sure she had heard Martha refer to him as kiddo but then again Martha had called her that once to.

"Martha why do you call your son Richard. A lot of people call him Rick or Ricky yet you still call him by his full name."

Martha gave her a smile but Beckett could see there was a slight hint of sadness in her eyes.

"My life has had many up and downs. I was going through a particularly low moment and then I found out I was pregnant. The joy and happiness I felt was so overwhelming. It turned my whole life around. I was carrying a child and it enriched my life. So I thought Richard was an appropriate name. Every time I call him Richard it reminds me of the enrichment I felt, and trust me there are times when I really need reminding why I love my son."

The three woman laughed, all thinking about how much they loved the man that was missing from the room, but knowing how much they wanted to strangle him to.

**Authors note: Thanks for all your fabulous reviews they were incredibly keep them up. Thanks also to those who went across and read my other 2 one shot stories. I know I should have been writing this one but hey when the juices are flowing there flowing. I appreciate your support. **


	36. Chapter 36

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

**Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. A discussion with Martha reveals that Beckett's issues with staying in her apartment are more simpler than she realised. Castle wasn't at her apartment so she didn't want to be there. **

Beckett stared at the door that would lead her to her destiny. A few people had already walked past and seen her standing there facing Castle door, and given her a confused look. It wasn't so easy to just open the door and walk through. She loved Castle, she really did, but he had already rejected her once. The pain still sat there deep in her heart, she didn't know if she was ready to face that again. Alexis had explained why he rejected her but what if she was wrong, what if he really didn't want to be loved by her. All these thoughts had been running through her head on the ride over to the hospital. Alexis had insisted on getting a car for her, then insisting on going with her, at least to the hospital. The young woman was now being driven around to nowhere in particular waiting until Beckett was ready to leave. Beckett had learned her lesson, there was no arguing with her.

So there Beckett stood dressed in clean clothes from her apartment, a mandatory stop along the way, having a panic attack. Just go in there she told herself. Go and tell him you love him. Make the nurses run in because his heart rate has gone up so high because you are kissing the living daylights out of him.

Hitching her purse high on her shoulder Beckett gave her head a bit of a shake to tussle her hair slightly before knocking on the door. She didn't wait for a response just opened the door and walked in. He was sitting up in his bed obviously watching TV, although what he was watching, she couldn't tell.

"Hi," she offered when he didn't turn around immediately at her presence.

She watched as he turned to look at his visitor a smile briefly appeared on his face before it disappeared again.

"Hi Beckett. I wasn't expecting you today."

Beckett tried not to let the words hurt her as she walked further into the room. Alexis had visited him as well as the gang, why would he expect her not to show. She had to keep it light, she couldn't risk aggravating him before she had a chance to spill her guts.

" Well I couldn't let my partner sit here all day bored, watching," she turned to look at the screen. "Jellyfish"

He shrugged at her. "It's quite interesting actually."

Well ok so she did actually find those sorts of things interesting and she knew Castle, for all his fun and games, was at heart, an intellectual to. Glancing around the room she marveled at how much it had changed in 24 hours.

"Looks like you are starting a flower shop in here."

No response.

Wow Castle must really find those jellyfish interesting as he barley drew his eyes off the screen to look around the room.

"I only kept the ones from close friends, the rest I asked the nurses to give them to other patients."

Beckett smiled at him, Castle always the humanitarian.

"I was going to bring flowers but I thought it might be too girly for you. I also think its kind strange to bring flowers to a person who is in hospital. After a few days the flowers die and the patient thinks about their own mortality."

He shrugged but continued to look at the screen almost memorised by the ghost like shapes. Beckett glanced at the screen, they were pretty hypnotic.

"I did bring you something."

Beckett opend her bag and pulled out two large bags of Skittles and placed them on the table that was across his bed. Hope spawned in her heart as she watched a smile form on his lips.

"Thanks."

He grabbed one of the bags and tore it open pouring its contents on the table.

Beckett took that as an invitation and swiped a few of the sugary bit sized candies."You know the green ones are apple flavoured in Australia."

He ignored her comment but Beckett noticed he purposely ignored picking up the green candy. Her heart plummeted again. Ok she had enough. Castle was silent. She was offering up useless bits of trivia which was usually his thing, and he was silent.

"Castle we talk about what happened yesterday."

He sighed then but at least he reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

"Beckett I'd rather not."

Ok maybe Castle had hit his head really hard because this was not normal. He was silent and he didn't want to talk. Had she walked into the wrong room?

"Castle will you let me explain."

"No." He cut her off. "A lot of things are all foggy in my head and I'd rather just forget the whole thing ok."

He wanted to forget. Forget that she told him she loved him. No this couldn't be happening.

"What's foggy, maybe I can clear things up for you."

Castle ran an uninjured hand though his hair. "Beckett look its ok, I get it."

He got it, got what?

"No Castle I don't think you do. I lo..."

"Good afternoon Rick, time for your sponge bath."

Beckett turned around and glared and the man who had just entered the room without knocking.

"Excuse me can you give us a minute, we were in the middle of something"

Understatement of the century.

The man looked apologetic but didn't retreat. "I am sorry miss I really need to get him done now, I am on a schedule."

Beckett looked back at Castle with pleading eyes as if there was something he could do. He simply ignored her and pushed back the table that was in front of him. turning back to the nurse Beckett addressed him, at least he looked at her.

"How long will it take, I'll wait outside."

Hell she had seen him naked before, she'd give him the sponge bath herself if he let her.

"10 minutes, I'll try and be quick."

Beckett nodded. 10 minutes she could wait 10 minutes to slap Castle. Why was he being like this for?.

"Beckett could you not."

Tunring back to the man who suddenly decided he ahyd time for her, she frowned. "Not what?"

"Not wait. I am really not in the mood to discuss this ok. I have just been involved in an accident and I really just want to recover in peace."

Beckett mouth opened but no words came out. He wanted peace, he thought whatever she was going to say was going to disrupted that. Maybe Martha and Alexis were wrong maybe he didn't love her. Was she trying to see something that wasn't really there. No, surly not. Not after all they had been though.

"Ok ill come back tomorrow then."

"NO."

Beckett mouth dropped open for the second time while Castle turned to look away from her.

"I mean can I call you, when I am ready."

Beckett swallowed deeply, she had to be strong, and she couldn't be selfish. Castle was the one who was injured, he needed time to recover. She wanted to argue with him, grab his head in both her hands and scream at him.

"Umm ok, if that's what you want."

When did she turn into such a chicken.?

"It really is."

Beckett nodded, she hadn't even been there for 2 minutes and he was already kicking her out. She leaned forward to give him a quick kiss on his cheek but he turned away from her. Gritting her teeth she righted herself and with as much dignity as she could muster she walked from the room.

Castle watched as the woman he loved walked away from him. It had been so hard to turn away from her kiss, to ignore her while she was in the room. He called himself every bad name he could think of and even still it didn't seemed like enough. He couldn't do it though, he couldn't take her love. As much as he wanted it, needed it, he wasn't going to do it. Her love had to come freely, yet he felt like he had blackmailed her into revealing it. When they had slept together Ryan and Esposito had told him Beckett was worried about losing him. Beckett had falsely declared her love for him when she thought he was dying, now she felt as if she had to stand by that declaration in order to keep him in her life. He didn't want love like that.

"I am sorry to interrupt Rick."

Castle shook his head. "It's ok."

"You look like your in a lot of pain. Would you like some pain killers.

He shook his head again.

This wasn't the kind of pain you could quell with medication, on often tried with Alcohol but that didn't work either

Beckett walked from the hospital placing her phone back in her bag. She had called Alexis who wasn't happy that she was done already. Alexis had assumed she would be awhile so had gotten the driver to head away from the hospital. It would be a little while before the car would arrive. Spying a bench she headed towards it, she didn't think she could stand the way she was feeling. Beckett slumped on the bench, tilted her head back and peered at the sky, looking for answers. None appeared, it was almost as if the blue sky mocked her. The sky was clear and vacant like her mind. She didn't know what to do, she loved him. She loved Castle! A fact that she had fought for so long, yet now she had come to that realisation, this wasn't the resolution she expected. Did he love her? Why was he acting this way? She needed a sign to help her figure out what to do.

"Kate is that you?"

Beckett's head snapped forward upon hearing her first name. When she had asked for a sign she had meant from heaven not hell. She tried to keep a straight face as Castles ex wife and publisher strode towards her a monstrosity of a gift basket in her arms.

"Is everything alright, is Rick ok."

Beckett tried to regain her composure, she was after all sitting in front of the hospital where other people here to visit Castle could spot her.

"He's fine, minor injuries but I won't spoil it for him. I am sure he would love to tell you all about it."

"Oh I know all about his injuries, Martha called me this morning to let me know all about it. I hear you're a bit of a hero."

Beckett was getting a bit sick of hearing that word. Castle was in danger, all she had thought about was getting to the man she loved.

"Castles getting a sponge bath at the moment," Beckett said trying to change the subject. "He should be done in ten minutes."

Gina looked towards the hospital then back at the empty spot next to Beckett on the bench. "Do you mind if I take a seat?"

Oh yes please, that would be the cherry on the cake that was the last 24 hours. Having a chat with Castles ex wife. An ex wife she had thoroughly annoyed not so long ago when she had stormed in and rescued Castle from another pointless event.

"Sure."

Beckett watched as Gina discarded the gaudy package in her hands and sat down next to her.

"So what has my dumb ass of an ex husband done to make you look so miserable."

Beckett looked at the blonde woman with surprise. Not only had she called Castle her EX husband, but she also knew it was him that had cause her grief.

Beckett shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about?" She had nothing in common with this woman, she wasn't about to spill her guts to her.

"Oh please, you look the way I feel so it has to be guy trouble. Rick didn't do something to embarrass you at work did he? Write Rick loves Kate on your notebook, accidently spill coffee over your shirt."

Beckett was flabbergasted. "Why would you think Castle would write that on my notebook?"

Gina threw her head back and laughed. "Because he is head over heels in love with you and has been for a long time."

Why, why were people saying that? She had told Castle she loved him once, tried twice more, yet he didn't believe her. If he loved her then why was he rejecting her love

"No he isn't"

"Yes he is. Trust me I spent months up at the Hamptons with him and by the end of it I was ready to murder you. It was all Beckett, this Beckett that."

He talked about her while he was away with his new girlfriend. Ok so sure he was writing a book with a character based on her but to discuss her regularly.

"If you thought he was in love with me why did you stay with him?" She had witnessed Castle breaking up with Gina over the phone. She hadn't been the one to end it.

Gina sighed and heavily sat back on the bench.

"Because I couldn't be with the one I loved and I guess it was the same for Rick. "

Beckett was surprised, maybe she did have something in common with this woman.

Gina laid her hand on Beckett's arm. "Just so we are clear, me saying I wanted to murder you, was out of jealously. Not because Rick loved you and not me, but because of the way Rick loved you. It was so deep and pure, it was the way I wanted Tom to love me."

Beckett raised her brow at the mention of another man; she wasn't even going to touch what Gina had said about Castle's love for her.

"Tom?" Beckett asked not wanting to be nosy but she just threw it out there. Beckett watched as the woman beside her seemed to lose all her confidence and suddenly seemed so vulnerable.

"Tom is this man at work, we have had an off again on again relationship for a few years. We were off and I was feeling pretty miserable when I went with Rick to the Hamptons. When Rick and I broke up Tom and I started dating again. He admitted to being jealous when I was dating Rick and was worried he had missed his chance with me. Things were going well until my lease was coming up for renewal on my place. I had been spending so much time at Tom's place it seemed ridiculous to keep it. When I mentioned it to him, he got all weird. We got into a fight and then we broke up. I thought flirting with Rick in front of Tom, making him believe we were back together might make him change his mind. All it seemed to have done is make him angry."

It all made sense to Beckett now, the reason why Gina was arranging all these events for Castle to attend. Tom worked with her so it was likely he was attending these events to. Seeing Gina with her arm on Castle had angered her, surly it would have angered Tom if he really was in love with Gina.

"I'm sorry."

Gina shrugged. "I should have just been straight with him from the start. About what I wanted from a relationship, what my intentions were. I just went about things all the wrong way"

Beckett blew out a breath of air; this was all sounding all to familiar.

"I know what you mean." Beckett hadn't meant to say that. She had intended on sitting there and staying quite.

Gina gave her a sympathetic smile. "So you've heard about my pathetic life, what's going on in yours."

Beckett looked at the woman next to her. She was Castles ex wife, publisher and his ex wife. That's what was in the forefront of her mind, she was his ex, and his ex for a reason. Yet at this moment she wasn't Castle ex, she was simply a woman who was heartbroken. A feeling Beckett could relate to. Wincing as she dragged an injured hand though her hair, Beckett gave in.

"I told Castle I loved him and he didn't believe me."

"What?"

The shock on Gina's face was almost comical.

"We were supposed to get together and talk last night but then he got in the accident."

"Wait you didn't tell him while he was hurt did you?"

Beckett threw her hands up in frustration. "What is with his death bed confession theory?

Gina shook her head. "I don't know. It's frustrating as hell."

Beckett laid back on the bench and closed her eyes. "Tell me about it. I finally get my act together and tell him how I feel and he doesn't want me."

"So that's it. You're just giving up"

Beckett opened her eyes.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Fight for him."

Beckett shook her head. "He doesn't want me."

Gina laughed. "Oh yes he does, he just wants you on his terms. He needs to know you love him for him, not because he is dying."

"I tried to tell him twice since then, he won't listen"

"Then you need to show him."

"How?"

Gina smiled. "The way Rick would show you."

Beckett frowned not sure what Gina was asking, then it clicked to her. Castle was into attention, being over the top, ostentatious. Gina was suggesting she tell Castle she loved him in a Castle like manner.

"I don't have the kind of money to rent out a billboard in time square."

Gina laughed. "Now your thinking like Rick. Time square might be a bit much but it's definitely something he would do. Its Rick's birthday next week, did you have anything planned."

Beckett shook her head. It had been in the back of her mind Rick's birthday was coming up but she had been focusing on so many other things recently.

Gina shrugged at her. "Well maybe you should."

"Kate, Gina?"

Beckett looked up and saw a confused Alexis climbing out of the car she had left in not too long ago.

"What's going on?"

Beckett looked at Gina and they both shared a smile that suggested that they were both a little unsure on the situation.

"Gina was just giving me some advice on how to deal with your father."

Alexis still looked a little confused.

"I was suggesting the way to get through to Rick, is to act like Rick."

Beckett looked at the blonde woman, wether she liked it or not Gina was a part of Ricks life. It wouldn't hurt to get along with her, it could come in handy.

"Gina, give me a call sometime, we could go for coffee."

Gina stood up. "No time like the present."

Beckett was shocked. "Umm weren't you going to go see Castle?"

The woman shrugged. "Not if he is in a mood. Here" Gina picked up her basket of goodies and handed it to a group of nurses that were walking past. "Give it to some needy patients."

Beckett looked at Alexis who simply shrugged at her. Gina seemed to want to help her with her situation. It wasn't the most ideal situation and Beckett wasn't too sure how Castle would feel about this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She smiled at the two woman before her.

"Well why don't were head home and get Martha to join us. We can't have a meeting of The Rick Castle Is Stupid and Stubborn club without her." Beckett headed towards the car that was waiting for them and climbed in.

Alexis joined the detective and made room for Gina too. The young woman couldn't help the smile that was on her face. Kate had said home.

AUTHORS NOTE: well this was a bit of a crappy chapter , it just didn't seem to want to write.

Ok so Castles birthday probably is nowhere near when this story is set but hey for the purposes of this story, it is ok. Just go with it.

I have no idea why I have Gina helping Beckett, I had always planned on it but I have no idea why. Its not like I like her or anything but it just seemed to fit, weird huh.

Please review my pretties, come on I punished myself and didn't even watch the new ep of Castle yet as getting this new chapter up for more important. See what I do for you lovely's.


	37. Chapter 37

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Ain't No Mountain Hugh Enough. Beckett tried yet again to confront Castle about her true feelings but eh wont listen. Beckett having no idea where to go reluctantly gets some advice form Castles Ex, Gina**_

Richard Castle sat on his bed with a scowl on his face. Crossing his arms over his blue t shirt clad chest, he winced slightly. He was still a little tender and that aggravated the hell out of him. Well ok so maybe he had used a bit of force when crossed his arms, but could you blame him. He had only been discharged a few days ago from the hospital and Gina had already organised a party. This time in his home! His birthday was tomorrow and he was spending the night before hiding out in his room. Some birthday this was going to be. Why had his mother and daughter allowed Gina to organise a birthday party for him. He disliked hanging with all those associates and other writers, well except for his crew, at all those stupid events. Why would he want to celebrate his birthday with them? As the music outside his room changed, Castle wiggled back on his bed and changed positions so his back was resting against the head board. Two hours ago Gina had turned up and his rat fink of a daughter and mother had left, never to be seen again if he had anything to do with it. How could they leave him with the dragon lady? Straight away she started ordering him around, started moving things around in his place too. She told him to go to his room have a shower and get dressed, that was an hour and a half ago. He had showered and done his hair, he always felt better once his hair was done, and then put on his Superman shirt and matching boxers. Gina wanted him dressed, he was dressed.

The music had filtered in through his room about 10 minutes ago, as did the sound of people arriving, but he stayed put. Like he cared if he angered these people, they weren't his friends, weren't people he cared about. Rick Castle pouted, it was his party and he would cry if he wanted to! He titled his head back and lightly tapped it on the head board a few times. He didn't want to be here, he closed his eyes and prayed that a knight in shining armour would come and save him. Well maybe not a Knight, maybe a woman with a shinny badge would be better. Opening his eyes he ran a hand through his hair mindful of the stiches that still graced his head.

_Don't do it, _

He told himself,

_Don't look to the left, _

But the pull was to strong. He glanced at the vacant bed beside him.

_Beckett!_

He hadn't called her. He wanted to. How many times had he picked up his phone to call her and then dropped it. Well ok so one time he actually had thrown it across the room. She told him she loved him, but it was a false love. If he hadn't been on his death bed she would never have said that to him. After they had slept together Ryan and Esposito had come to the loft and told him Beckett was worried about losing his friendship. That had to be the only reason why she was maintaining her love for him, because she thought if she didn't, she would lose him. He didn't want love like that, he wanted it unencumbered. A small part of him deep down wanted to believe that she actually did love him; it was the part that kept urging to call her. Yet he couldn't, he deserved better than that. He had settled for second best one too many times in his life before and it turned out to be disastrous. Nope he couldn't do it, not this time. It wouldn't work and then he would lose Beckett. He couldn't lose Beckett it would be too much to handle, yet had he already lost her.

He hadn't called her out of fear, fear that he would crumble and just accept her false love. Weakness, she was his weakness. If he could just believe that she really did love him, if he could see the truth of her admission. His heart screamed out for it, to be brave, to be strong. To give the woman he loved so deeply a call and talk to her, to see her. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was right. He didn't know and it frustrated the hell out of him. Love made you do the wacky, it made you wacky, but right now he just wanted to wack something. He reluctantly drew his eyes away from Beckett's side of the bed and to the phone that was on his bedside table. Could he call her, had he left it too late? He reached for his phone when he heard a knock at the door.

"Rick, are you ready?"

Castle watched as his ex wife opened the door and peered in.

"Your still not, dressed. Everyone is here and waiting for you."

Castle looked down at himself and then clicked his fingers.

"Damn those tailors, they swindled me again. Here I was thinking I am wearing a Superman shirt and boxers but apparently I am naked."

The woman rolled her eyes at him but instead of being worried about the wrath Gina was about to unleash on him, all he could think about, was how much he missed Beckett's eye roll.

"Grow up Rick. Get your butt up from that bed and go and put on a suit."

Castle did stand up but he didn't move from his position next to the bed.

"I told you, I am not in the mood for a party." He hadn't been sleeping well lately. For some reason he could smell Beckett's scent on the pillows and the sheets as if she had slept in them recently. He had spent nights cuddling her pillow and plastering his body to her side of the bed trying to get close to her. His mind had to be playing tricks on him as the pyjamas she had worn; the ones he had taken to wearing, also seemed to have regained her scent to. Wearing her pyjamas and cuddling her pillow hadn't been conclusive to a good night's sleep. He spent his nights thinking about her.

"And I told you we need to do this so the public know you are ok after your accident. Do you realise there is a rumour going around that you are sitting on a bench in Central Park yelling at people climbing on a dog statue."

Castle looked everywhere around the room but at her. When he couldn't sleep and It was daylight he had started going for walks hoping the fresh air would clear his mind. Central park was a nice place to walk so he had been going there frequently. His feet always seemed to lead him to the Balto statue.

"Oh my God it's true. Rick what is wrong with you?"

"That statue is a sign of strength and courage; it doesn't deserve to be treated in that manner."

Gina threw her arms up in the air. "It's a statue."

"Gina darling, it's getting late we do really need to go."

Castle frowned at the interruption as a man poked his head through the open door. Hold on a second, had someone called Gina, DARLING!

"Oh I am sorry."

The man had obviously seen the state of his undress.

"No Tom its fine, come in."

Tom! Castle watched as the man entered his room and realised the guy was familiar. He was sure he worked at Black Pawn with Gina.

"Rick this is Tom, you've met before."

Castle stretched out his hand and shook Tom's.

"I am sorry to interrupt Gina but my family will be waiting if we don't leave now, you know what traffic is like."

Castle raised his brows, one Gina was leaving, two she was going to meet Tom's family. A smile broke out on Gina's face unlike anything he had ever seen before from her.

"I was going to wait until after your birthday to tell you this but I am engaged." 

Castles mouth hung open as Gina thrust her hand in his face showing off her engagement ring. Castle looked from Gina's hand, to her smiling face, to the smiling face of her fiancé standing next to her.

"Congratulations," he somehow managed to get out.

Tom wrapped his arm around Gina's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "It's all thanks to you, I owe you one."

Castle frowned; hold on a second, how did this involve him.

The man before him laughed. "Gina said not to mention it because you were so modest but I just have to thank you. If it hadn't been for your idea to make me jealous and think the two of you had gotten back together, I would never have come to the realisation that I love this woman deeply. I'll admit to being a chicken and running when Gina suggested moving in together, it's just I've moved in with woman in the past and it ended badly. I guess seeing Gina with you at all these events made me realising losing Gina would be so much worse. I decided moving in together wasn't enough, I really do love her and I want to be with her for the rest of my life. So thank you."

Castle was a little bit shocked and a lot confused but he was just going to go with it. The man seemed happy and Gina was very happy so he decided just to smile and play dumb.

"No problems, you getting a real good woman here."

Tom laughed. "Thank you and I see you have a real good woman out there. Ouff"

Castle frowned for the millionth time as Gina elbowed Tom in the stomach. What was going on? What did Tom mean by, he had a good woman out there, who was out there?

"Gina?" He wanted an explanation.

The blonde woman sighed. "It was supposed to be a surprise but the people out there. The ones waiting for you to show for your own party, they are actually people you like. People you want to spend time with. Now will you hurry up and got get dressed and go out there."

People he liked. Really! Gina had organised a party with people he likes, well that could be anyone. It didn't necessarily mean he wanted to party with them, especially not on his birthday eve. However curiosity killed the cat and he was interested in seeing who was out there.

"Ok, ok." He leant forward and gave Gina a kiss on the cheek. "Congratulations." He then shook Tom's hand again. "You to."

He then left the couple to exit his room as he quickly walked into his walk in robe. What to wear, what to wear. He wasn't quite sure what kind of party to expect out there but he figured a suit was probably appropriate. He pushed some of his suits aside to reveal a dark blue one, it was one of his favourites. Turning he crossed to his shirts and picked out a, slightly lighter blue than the suit, shirt that had this shimmery effect. Ok so he was a bit metro sexual, it was his party and he wanted to sparkle. He pulled the shirt over his head before reaching for his pants and slid them on. The blue really set off the blue in his eyes and after taking a look at himself in the mirror that was inside his robe, he really needed all the help he could get. His face was a little paler than he would have liked and as he did up his pants he realised they were a little loose. Along with lack of sleep he hadn't really been feeling like eating much either. Now that sounded really familiar. Had Beckett's issues been she was missing him. Castle laughed and dismissed the idea straight away. Yeah right, lack of sleep was making him delusional. Grabbing a belt he put it on and noticed he needed to go back an extra belt loop, well he had been eating hospital food. He finished the ensemble by grabbing his jacket and sliding it on. Turing side to side he glanced at himself in the mirror. Not bad for a two minute makeover. He glanced over at his collection of ties. Mmm, Gina had organised this event maybe a bit of formality was in order. Choosing a red one to go with his Superman theme he was currently sporting under his clothes Castle began loping the tie around his neck.

Up, over, under and through. Castle frowned no wait wasn't that the rhyme you sung to tie your shoe. Shoes, he needed shoes. He slipped in feet into a pair of slip on ones theorising if this party sucked he would be knocking back a fair bit of alcohol and laces were the last thing you wanted to deal with when your drunk. Castle yet again tried to tackle his tie only to realise he had been going through the motions of tying a knot. He gave the tie a yank but only proceeded to choke himself. Castle gagged. He realised he had tied one of the knots he had learned to do while researching for a Derrick Storm novel. Tugging at it a few more times he wished he had learned how to undo it. Derrick had been tying someone up, not getting out. Dam. Hearing another knock at his door Castle sighed, maybe whoever was there could help him.

"Come in" He yelled from still inside the robe. His fingers attacked the silk around his neck as he walked out into his room. His neck was really starting to get sore from having it bent down to look at the knot "Can you help me get out of this."

"Sure"

Castle head shot up so quickly he was surprised it didn't snap off. He watched as an apparition walked towards him. The flick of her wrist sending something glittery towards his bed was barely noticed as he took her in. No this couldn't be an apparition; they normally wore white didn't they. This one was wearing fire engine red. Weeee OOOOOO Weeeee OOOO. His eyes shifted over her starting from the ground up. Legs that he so vividly remembered being wrapped around his waist, were playing pick-a-boo as the red fabric swirled around them with every step she took. The long fabric flowed up to her small waist before splitting into what he thought had to be two triangle shaped red handkerchiefs that modestly covered her breasts. As she stepped closer to him he couldn't help but gaze at her throat, her lips and finally her eyes. He was shocked to happiness shining through them, this had to be a dream. Hands batting away his own proved that it wasn't, she was here, she was real and shw was touching him.

"There we go."

Within seconds she had untangled his tie yet he still felt tightness in his throat.

"You won't be needing this."

He turned and followed her with his eyes as she disappeared into his robe to get rid of his tie. It seemed that the two handkerchiefs didn't have any brothers so sisters as he back was bare. Thankfully her long curly hair had only been pinned back slightly so it still covered alot of her back. It didn't stop him from wishing he really was Superman so he could send a burst of cold air towards his crotch. As she walked out of his robe like she owned the place Castle finally mustered up the brain power to talk.

"Beckett, what are you doing here?"

She gave him a smile and shrugged. "It's my partners birthday, where else would I be?"

Castle hung his head down in shame. He had once told her, what seemed like eons ago, that being partners meant being there for each other, no matter what. Obviously that didn't count when he was to busy sulking. Castle closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I haven't been much of a partner lately."

When he felt a hand touch his chest he opened his eyes and looked up at Beckett who was now standing a mere inch away from him.

"It's ok, you needed space, I gave you space."

Castle shrugged. "I still should have called or something. I am really sorry Beckett, I just needed time to think. To figure things out, but I am just as confused now. I am sorry I haven't been there for you when I said I always will."

Beckett silenced him by placing her finger on his lips. She shook her head at him.

"No sorry's, ok."

"Bufftt" His lips tried to protest under her finger.

She shook her head at him. "No Castle not now. Later we will talk but not right now ok."

He nodded at her before moving his hand up to hers, removing it from his mouth. Having her finger there was just too tempting.

"I'll be back at the precinct on Monday ok."

Beckett nodded. "Ok, you have been missed by everyone."

Castle took a chance with what he was about to ask next.

"What about you, have you missed me?"

He was surprised when a smile broke out on her face. "Yes." He then watched fascinated as her face slowly turned from happy to nervous. "And I don't just mean at the precinct."

Castle took in a deep breath. What did she man by that? In general, in her life in her bed. He wondered if he looked as nervous as the woman standing before him. Surely she could feel his heavy breathing hitting her in the face. One of them seemed to gain control and it wasn't him.

"Did you miss me?"

Although she came across as confidant there was so much fear in her voice. Castle's bottom lip began to tremble.

"Only when I breathe."

He didn't have time to wonder about the repercussions of the admission as Beckett's arms were around his next. For a split second he thought she was strangling him, her arms were around his neck and shoulders and squeezing tight. The fact that her head was tucked into the nook of his neck and shoulder, made him realise she was in fact hugging him. He couldn't help himself, he wrapped his arms aound her small waist and held her tight.

"Oh god Beckett I am so sorry. I didn't mean to stay away for so long. I know it was only a week but it felt like forever. Do you know how many times I picked up the phone to call you but felt like I couldn't? I thought I had left it to long, that you wouldn't want to speak to me."

"Shhhh Castle. Please don't apologize. We will talk later. I promise we will, but not now ok. It's your birthday, I want you to be happy but we will talk this time. I promise."

"Dad, Kate."

Castle expected Beckett to fly out of his arms but she didn't. Was it his imagination or did she just slowly move her head of his shoulder before looking at his daughter. No surely it was his mind playing tricks on him slowing down the world around him. She must have withdrawn quickly, what other explanation could there be. There was however the fact that even though she had pulled her head back, her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. Based on this he kept his hands around her waist, it was his birthday, let her kill him tomorrow.

"Kate" Alexis seemed as surprised at seeing Beckett in his arms as Castle was. "I guess we won't be going ahead with the plan then."

Beckett shook her head. "No we are still going ahead; this is just a birthday hug."

Castle then received the best birthday present ever. Beckett leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. She kissed him! In front of his daughter! And then said daughter smiled.

"Well ok. The guests are getting a little anxious. Will you be out soon? "

Beckett nodded. "Can you give us five minutes I still haven't given him his first present. Get the cake ready, and I'll be as quick as I can."

Castle stood there shocked, wait. What? The kiss wasn't his birthday present. Castle hoped there was a return policy on whatever gift she had purchased for him because he didn't want it. Then it dawned on him and Castle frowned as his daughter retreated.

"Hold on a second. So not only is Gina not at my birthday party but you, my daughter and potentially other people I like, are here. On top of that there is cake and I get presents, despite the fact that a kiss from you was a sufficient present."

Beckett smiled and rolled her eyes at him. "So you're saying you don't want your gift?"

Castle shrugged. "Well if you already got it for me, it would be rude to reject it. Just saying a kiss was sufficient."

Beckett smiled and let her hands trail down his chest before leaving his body to grab hold of one of his hands. She led him to the bed and sat down pulling him with her. Leaning back she snapped up the glittery object she had thrown there earlier and he realised it was a clutch.

"Well seeing how it is your birthday and you have been having a rough time recently, how about a kiss after each gift I give you."

Castle was shocked. "You mean you have more than one gift for me" this was slowly turning into the best birthday ever and he still had his clothes on.

Beckett laughed. He had totally skipped over the part about her giving him more kisses. Opening the clutch she looked at what it held inside and then dread suddenly filled her. This wasn't the most happiest of presents but she wanted him to have it, or at least know of their existence.

"You can keep these if you want them. I have copies, it's just not the most typical birthday present. so ill understand if you don't want to keep them. "

Castle looked down at the small bag, what kind of gift could she have put in there. A gift voucher for more kisses? "I am sure I'll love anything you give me."

He watched as the usually strong woman looked scared again for the second time in just a few short minutes. What was he doing to make her feel this way? Beckett pulled out a few rectangle pieces of card and handed one to him. He took it and realised it was a photo. Scanning over it he saw a young woman who looked quite pale and sick. Why was she giving him this, did she want him to help this girl somehow?. He then looked into the sad eyes of the young woman.

"Oh God Kate this is you."

She nodded but didn't speak.

"What happened to you?"

Beckett gulped. "It was taken a few months after my mother died."

Castle closed his eyes and shook his head. He was an idiot; of course it was from when her mother died. He should have guessed by how young Kate looked.

"Why are you giving me this Kate? You have to know how much I hate seeing you in pain. I know it sounds ridiculous but even seeing a picture of you in pain makes me want to take it all away. And I can't because it is in your past and there is nothing I can do to fix that."

Beckett shook her head. "But you have Castle, you have helped take away the pain, you did help." Beckett handed over another photo and he used it to cover the one in his hand. It was too hard to look at. This photo was of a healthier happier looking Beckett, her eyes still held pain but it seemed dimmed somehow. There was a smile on her face and she clenched something tight to her chest.

"It was taken within a year of the first photo."

Castle smiled at this picture. A year and there was still pain but there was happiness too. "I am glad you found something to make you smile again."

"Me too. The photo was actually taken at an event for the person who brought me back to life."

Castles brows rose. "Really"

Beckett nodded. "Turn the photo over. I wrote where I was and what I was thinking at the time."

Castle turned over the photo and then froze.

"Will you read it out loud" Beckett asked him.

Castle swallowed before licking his lips and taking a deep breath. "Me at my first Richard Castle book signing."

He knew she had been to a few signings but he assumed she had just gotten older copies signed. He had no idea she had been a fan for this long. Not only that, but she was crediting him for the smile that was on her face.

"Keep reading" she urged him.

Castle turned back to the photo. "He signed my book and talked to me and everything. He is so funny and smart and very HOT HOT HOT."

Castle threw back his head and let out s bellow of laughter.

"You thought I was hot."

Beckett shrugged, "I was young."

Castle nodded. "I didn't realise you were reading my books way back then."

Beckett took his hand and squeezed it. "I didn't until after my mother died. You know how hard I took her death, I was practically catatonic for months. I would just sit there staring into to nowhere. I was just so cold and empty inside. I slipped into this cold dark scary place; it's still scares me to think about it. I wanted to escape it but that meant going back to my life where my mother was gone and in a way so was my father. So I looked for another world to escape to. TV was my friend back then. Hours and hours I spent in front of the TV immersing myself in the lives of the characters. Wishing I was one of the characters, living their life instead of my own. However there is only so much TV you can watch before you get the bad infomercials. So I then turned to books. My family and friends were trying to help and I guess realised I was feeling a little better when I was reading. sSo they brought over boxes of books for me. One day I picked up one of your books. I threw it back immediately."

Castle snorted. "Why?"

Beckett shook her head. "Well instead of a blurb on the back there was a picture of this cocky author, I had never heard of. I figured if it was more important to flaunt the author than the story, then it wasn't worth reading. Yet like you always do, you wore me down and eventually I read your book. I read it all in one hit Castle, I didn't put it down until I was finished. I then got up and took a shower; I got dressed and then went and sat by the front door waiting for the sun to rise. While I sat there I started reading it all over again. Once there was enough light outside I went to the nearest bookstore and bought as many Richard Caste books I could find."

Castle sat there stunned. He knew she was a fan. If it hadn't been for the telltale giveaways she had revealed the first time they met, then he would have picked up on it as she dropped references to his books occasionally. This was different though; she was a fan because they helped her heal. He had helped her heal. Nikki Heat was a character he had created based on Kate Beckett yet it was almost as if the Kate Beckett that was sitting before him, was created by him in a small way. or at least shaped by his words. His books had helped her move on, to live again and that blew him away.

"Thank you for telling me." He looked at the photo in his hand again. "I can keep these, right?"

Beckett nodded. "You don't have to if you don't want; I just wanted you to know of their existence. I don't want there to be any more lies or misconceptions between us."

Castle smiled before standing up and walking around to the other side of the bed and putting the photos in his bedside table for safe keeping.

"So," he said turning back to her. "You said I could have a kiss after my present." He knew it was cheeky asking for another kiss. Beckett did say he could have a kiss after each present, he wondered how many presents she had. He could give her his credit card so she could go buy him a gazillion presents so he could have that many kisses, though he doubted that would be enough. He watched as Beckett rose from the bed and made her way around to him. She was smiling at him and he still wasn't sure if this day was real. He offered his cheek to her but he didn't feel her lips touch it, he felt her hand. She turned his head and he watched as hers slowly moved towards his. When her lips touched his he felt like he had been awoken from a deep sleep. It wasn't as if they hadn't been kissed before but this was different. It wasn't out of comfort, it wasn't out of fear, it was surprising and beautiful. She said it was a birthday kiss but he had seen how she had given Ryan a kiss for his birthday, and this was nothing like that. All too soon her lips were pulling away from.

"Come on, Castle, there is a party waiting for you."

Castle took a deep breath. There was a party alright and it was in his pants and only Beckett was invited. He shook his head, Beckett had given him one of the most heart warming kisses and he was acting like an ass. It wasn't his fault he didn't know what was going on. One minute he was wishing Beckett would come and rescue him and now here she was. He had stayed away from her as he was afraid he would get his heart broken. Yet upon seeing her he felt his heart lift. Castle had no idea what was going on, except Beckett was here and she was smiling at him. Nothing else seemed to matter. She held out her hand to him and he took it tucking it under his arm. She led him from the room and he had no idea what to except from the rest of the evening. It didn't matter though as he would follow her anywhere no matter what.

_**AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry for this chapter taking so long to get up. In the past I have tried to get chapters up weekly. In doing that it has caused me to produce inferior work and treat is just not acceptable. I owe it to you, my loyal fans top produce something that is worth reading. We live in a go go go society where it seems there never is enough time. I want you to know how much I appreciate you using whatever free time you have to read my story and in the future I will endeavour to make it worth your while. I hope this chapter lives up to your standards, I appreciate all those who have given me constructive criticism even though at times it hurts like hell.**_

_**Love to hear your thoughts and any final ideas before I wrap up this story.**_


	38. Chapter 38

Aint No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Beckett surprised Castle by turning up at his unwanted birthday party and revealing a little about her past and how it involved him. **_

As Castle left his room with Beckett attached to his arm he was immediately assaulted with well wishes., hugs and slaps on his back. Castle looked around at the people that were assembled before him. Writers, judges, mafia, Oh my! There were a few unfamiliar faces but he assumed they had come with people he actually knew and liked. He bumped fists with Ryan and Esposito, received kisses from Lanie and Jenny, shook hands with Jim Beckett. What was Beckett's father doing here, not that he minded? The more the merrier and he liked the idea of Beckett's family being here with his family. Speaking of family his mother was here also, flitting about, urging him to walk towards the towering inferno. If he didn't blow out his candles soon, the fire department would soon be attending his party too. Was he really that old? As his mother led the crowd in singing him Happy Birthday Castle looked at the cake under all the flames. He couldn't help the grin that broke out on his face, this cake was better than the one Alexis had organised for him 2 years ago. It had been a justice league cake with a picture of himself standing amongst them in his own superhero outfit. Tonight he wasn't a superhero , he was a cop. The towering inferno was actually a rectangle cake with candles around the outside illuminating a police ID. Tonight he was Detective Castle. How awesome was that.!

"Hip , Hip, Hooray, Hip Hip, Hooray."

"Make a wish Dad."

Castle looked to his daughters smiling face that had seemed so sullen recently. He had thought it was because he was in the hospital but after a few days he was discharged and at home, yet she had still seemed saddened. The last day she had seemed to have picked up and now that he thought about it she seemed to be acting suspicious, he supposed it was to throw him off this somewhat surprise party. His eyes moved to his smiling mother, Alexis co conspirer he surmised, and saw that she was beaming also. It seemed to be common theme as he looked over the crowd of friends before him. Ryan and Esposito seemed to be a little too happy and he briefly wondered how much they had to drink. Castle then turned to the woman who was standing next to him, who had stood by him even though he had been acting like spoiled child. Make a wish! Make a wish! What did he wish for, the moon the stars. Castle turned his gaze back the crowd of people in front of him waiting for him to make a wish as before he blew out his candles. Esposito gave him a wink and Castle knew then and there what he wanted. He closed his eyes and made his wish.

_I wish I had balls as big as Esposito's_

He opened his eyes and leant forward to blow out the candles. Thankfully his friends and family closest to the cake helped him out. He didn't want there to be numerous candles lit after he had run out of breath, just one. Everybody knew any candles left lit after you had attempted to blow them out equalled how many girlfriends you had! A round of cheers broke out as if blowing out candles was a difficult task.

"Why was he born so ugly, why was he born at all?"

Castle looked up in time to see Jenny and Lanie give twin back hander's to the two men who had started singing. Ryan and Esposito were two of his true real friends; they didn't placate him or treat him with kid gloves. If his hair looked stupid they would tell him and as far as he was concerned that was the measure of a true friend.

The music was cranked up once again and Castle became a social butterfly as moved between the 60 or so guests at his party. Everyone seemed to be either drinking, dancing or just generally having a good time. It was over an hour later before he had a chance to simply stop and take a breath. He stood with a drink in his hand resting against his kitchen bench looking towards the makeshift dance floor. A song was playing, which to him had way to much profanity. He guessed that was the reason he had so many candles on his cake, he was getting old. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying the music, a dance off seemed to be occurring on the dance floor. One between Ryan and Esposito, the other between his daughter and his muse. Esposito seemed to be acting like a rapper where as Ryan looked like a broken slinky. He had no idea what Beckett and his daughter were doing but others around them seemed to be laughing and cheering them on. Castle watched in confusion as Beckett seemed to be doing a rain dance while Alexis was sticking out her but and wiggling it. It seemed the more outrages the moves were the more fun the pair were having.

"It's a beautiful site isn't it?"

Castle turned to the unknown woman who had joined him at some point, he wasn't so sure when he had been too busy staring at the dance floor.

Castle nodded. "It's good to see my daughter so happy." He then turned to look at the two happy woman.

"And Kate looks quite happy to." The woman informed him but that was blatantly obvious.

"Here's your drink Hallie."

Castle didn't turn to look at the man who had joined him; his eyes were transfixed to the woman in red on the dance floor. The music had now changed but she still didn't stop dancing with his daughter. He couldn't get over how well these two were getting along. He swore his daughter seemed a bit annoyed with Beckett at the hospital for some reason. However she had disappeared and come back with Beckett in tow so he figured he must have imagined her hostility.

"I was just telling Rick how happy Kate looks" The woman next to him told the man who had just arrived.

Castle couldn't take his eyes off Beckett. He still wasn't sure if she was really here. "Kate doesn't look happy, she looks ecstatic. I don't know what has gotten into her tonight but I love it. She looks so free and at ease, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Whatever she is feeling on the inside is radiating out of her and she had no idea how incredibly addictive that is. You just want to be in her presence to soak up that essence she is oozing. She is extraordinary and smart and beautiful and I don't think she hears that often enough." Castle took a swig of his drink, somehow Beckett had the ability to make his mouth water and dry up at the same time.

"Maybe you could make it your goal to tell my daughter that every day."

Castle scoffed, oh yeah he could just imagine that. Give Beckett a compliment everyday instead of her coffee, that would go down well. Instead of receiving his daily smile he would receive a daily eye roll. Wait, did he just say daughter? Castle turned to see it was Jim Beckett who had joined them. Oh shit.

"Mr Beckett, I am so sorry, I meant no disrespect, I just meant..." Words failed him. He was a writer yet words failed him as he spoke to the father of the woman he cared for so deeply.

"Drop the Mr Beckett, Rick and there is no reason to apologize. For a long time I was worried that no one would see Katie for the person she was on the inside. She tends to show people her prickly outer side, buy my daughter is like a pineapple. If you can get past the tough exterior she really is nice and sweet on the inside."

Castle had to laugh at that. What would Beckett think if she heard her father referring to her as a pineapple?

"She really is a wonderful woman." He needed Jim to know he respected his daughter.

Jim nodded. "Yes she is and I think she wants you"

Castles eyes widened. He had adamantly told Jim that there was nothing going on between him and his daughter ,when he went to deliver the photos. Maybe he had gotten the wrong idea when Beckett had invited him here.

Castle shook his head. "Oh no Jim you have got it all wrong. We work together, we are partners but not in that way. We are best friends but it doesn't go further than that."

Jim smiled and shook his head he then pointed to the dance floor. "No I mean she wants you on the dance floor"

Castle turned to see Beckett was waving at him to join her on. Oh god he had just made an idiot of himself in front of Beckett's father turning back to the man he gave him a brief smile.

"Right, well umm I better go."

Castle made his way quickly to the dance floor eager to get away from Jim Beckett. There was something so intimidating about meeting a girls father and talking with them. Maybe he could get together with Jim again on more friendly terms to discuss his methods so he could use them on Alexis dates. When he got to the edge of the dance floor Beckett grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the fray.

"Come on Castle it's your birthday, you haven't danced yet."

Castle did a bit of an awkward shuffle. "I am not really good at dancing." He told her rather embarrassed.

"You did ok when we danced for the jewel thief case."

"I was taught to dance like that. This freestyle stuff is different, it's like I have three left feet."

Beckett just laughed and grabbed his hands and placed them on her hips.

"Here just move side to side and let me do the dancing. No one will notice those three feet of yours."

Castle wanted to laugh but he couldn't, his hands were on Beckett's hips. Beckett's father and other family and friends were here, possibly watching them and she was allowing him to touch her. He was waiting for her to kiss him again because surely this was his other birthday present. How many songs he had danced to he couldn't say. All he knew was Beckett was writhing under his grip, sending him smiles and for a brief moment he was in heaven. Until he heard his mother's voice come through loud and clear on a microphone. Now he was worried Hell was approaching.

"Excuse me, Ladies and gentleman if you could all make your way towards me."

Castle reluctantly pulled himself away from Beckett and turned to see his mother standing under a spotlight. She had a microphone in hand, and Castle prayed to whoever would listen that his mother wasn't going to sing. He wasn't sure what was going on when he heard a mechanical sound and a white screen dropped from the room of his loft. When had that been installed and why hadn't he done it.

"Hello, I hope you have all been enjoying the evening."

A picture of him smiling appeared on the screen. It was one of those cocky pictures of him that was used for the back of his books. Now looking at the photo he understood why Beckett had first thrown one of his books back. Why was his mother showing this picture and why was it on the screen. Did it mean there would be other pictures? Oh god this couldn't be good.

"Don't look so worried Richard it's not like I am going to show a picture of you when you were five and only wore a cowboy hat and chaps."

Castle watched in horror as that very picture appeared on the screen. Thankfully someone had the forethought to draw a party hat over his groin area. A very big hat if he did say so himself.

"Now when we decided to host this party for Richard we called all of you here and asked for pictures and tales about Richard. Some of those stories were unbelievable. True, but unbelievable. One thing we noticed was that a lot of those stories were old stories. Stories of who the man Richard was back then, not who he is right now. In the past three years I have noticed a change in my son, a very good change. So we thought it was only fitting for the person responsible for that change to give Richard's birthday speech. Please put your hands together for one of New Yorks finest, in more ways than one. Kate Beckett."

Castle turned around shocked, Beckett. Beckett was giving his birthday speech. In all the commotion of his mother taking to the microphone he had lost Beckett in the crowd. Now there she was striding towards his mother, with what looked like a manuscript in her hand. Oh no what tales would Beckett regale the crowd with. Maybe it would be better if his mother continued to show pictures of him naked.

"Don't look so worried son," somehow Jim Beckett had sidled up to him unnoticed and now the man was patting him on the back. "I am sure you will enjoy Katie's speech."

"Yeah Bro, I mean how bad could it be."

Castle turn to see Esposito and Ryan had now flanked him. There was nowhere to escape now. He was going to have to stand there, Jim on his left, Ryan and Esposito on his right and embarrassment straight ahead. Castle watched as Beckett held her notes in one hand and the micro phone in another, she looked at him and gave him a brief smile before raising her eyes to everyone else in the room.

"What can one say about Richard Castle" she began before turning back to him and gave him a mischievous smile. "That he hasn't already said about himself."

Castle threw his head back and chuckled. She was leading with a joke, always a good way to start. Beckett's gaze returned to the crown and continued.

"Intelligent, witty, ruggedly handsome." She then turned her focus on him again. "I am of course directly quoting Richard Castle here."

This time the whole room erupted with laughter. Castle watched as Beckett nodded and the screen behind her lit up this time with a picture of him that had been drawn on with coloured markers. He had been given horns, a goofy grin and either that was snot or a moustache he wasn't too sure. Looking at the doodling around the photo he turned to Ryan and Esposito with raised brows. Esposito remained cool and simply shrugged, yet Ryan had a slightly guilty look on his face. Castle just laughed before returning his gaze back to Beckett.

"On a more serious note, we are all here to celebrate this great and wonderful man."

Castles eyes widen. Beckett thought he was great and wonderful. And she was admitting it in front of over 60 people.

"He means a lot of different things to us all here and goes by just as many names. To his mother he is Richard."

Castle watched as the picture behind Beckett changed this one was thankfully a lot nicer. It was black and white and was taken a few days after he was born. There he was, a little swaddled infant being held by his glamorous mother who no one would have guessed she had given birth recently.

"I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Martha and have a nice long talk."

Castle closed his eyes and groaned. Oh God he wasn't sure what was worse, having Beckett's fathers standing next to him during this whole ordeal. Or the fact that Beckett had sat down and had a chat with his mother. When had Beckett had a chance to speak to his mother. He suspected it had been when he was in hospital but his mother hadn't mentioned it and right now he figured he knew why.

"I asked her why she called him Richard, it seemed so formal. Normally family members come up with shorter nicknames. Martha didn't even have to think about it. She told me she was going through a very hard time in her life and then she found out she was pregnant. The discovery gave her a whole new look on life, being pregnant enriched her life. She calls him Richard to remind her of how happy she felt. According to Martha there are times she needs reminding why she loves her son so much."

Castle couldn't him but give a little snort at that. Like mother, like son. She caused him as much grief as he caused her. Turing his head he found his mother in the crowd and blew her a kiss which she returned. The picture on the screen changing drew his attention back to Beckett and her speech. Another nice shot, maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as he thought. It was a picture of himself and Alexis cuddling on the couch.

"To his daughter he is Dad, or Father when he is naughty."

"Which is all the time" The crowd again erupted with laughter as Castle turned to find his daughters voice. He finally found her at the back of the room in front of a laptop; she was obviously in charge of changing the pictures on the screen. She gave him a big cheesy grin before turning her attention back to the laptop making a few adjustments, so he turned back around again to look at the screen. Various smaller photos appeared of him with different groups of friends.

"To his friends he is Rick or Ricky, fun and playful, but to all of us at the precinct, he is simply Castle."

The screen changed again to a shot that had been taken the day of the fake magazine shoot. There he stood, Beckett beside him, Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Montgomery and a bunch of other officers in the background who had photo bombed the shot.

"Now to some people, calling him by his last name is formal or harsh but we all go by our last name at the precinct. Castle is as much a part of our team as I am, I willingly walk into battle with him by my side every day. He may not carry a badge or a gun but what he does have can't be earned. Street smarts, the ability to think out side the box and integrity. He does what he does because he can, not because he is paid to do it. That's the kind of man he is and that's who we are here for. To celebrate the day this wonderful man came into this world and into our lives."

Castles mouth gaped open slightly. He couldn't believe the words that were spilling out of Beckett's mouth. She was praising him and there wasn't any hint of humour in her voice.

"Close your mouth," Esposito told him. "You'll start catching flies."

Castle closed his mouth and his eyes caught Beckett's for a brief second before she looked back down at the paper in her hands.

"Richard Castle is the kind of person who helps out his mother, no questions asked."

Fear began to grow inside him when Beckett turned her gaze to him yet again and a familiar twinkle shone back. Oh no, she had twinkled at him before hitting him with some witty retorts only moments ago.

"Although maybe he should have asked some questions this time." She finished a smile now on her face.

Castle was confused, he was always happy to help out his mother. He had learned the less he knew the better. That was until he watched Beckett nod her head and a new picture appeared on the screen. Castle covered his eyes with his hand hoping to hide from the picture. It didn't work. He heard hooting and hollering and felt Esposito slap him on the back.

"Whoo hoo, nice legs Castle."

Drawing his hands down from his face Castle stared at the picture of him on stage, in a DRESS. The person is sick Richard, his mother told him. It's only a small role, only a few lines, so there is no understudy. Please you have to help. What she failed to mention was that the role was that of a woman, who despite the fact she had only 4 lines, she was onstage almost the whole time. Sliding a glance to his left, he saw Jim with an amused expression on his face.

"Richard Castle is the kind of person who is a doting and responsible father."

Castle rubbed his hands together, finally something good. At least he thought that until the picture of himself and Alexis appeared on the screen. Oh no, how could Alexis do this to him. He turned to where his daughter sat, trying to glare at his daughter. It was hard though, she was grinning back at him. Just like she was grinning in the photo of them, except in the photo she was upside down. He had flipped Alexis upside down and held her by her ankles, while he tried to sweep the floor with her long hair.

"Richard Castle is the kind of person who loves Golf."

Golf that wasn't too bad he thought. Beckett probably had a picture of him playing golf with the mayor. The photo changed and Castle let out a groan. One of his golfing buddies had taken the picture on their phone of a particular bad game. If there was a sand trap his ball somehow magically found it. The picture had been taken as he swung back his club an angry look on his face.

"Richard Castle is the kind of man who is an expert fisherman."

Oh no this was not going to end well. He hated fishing, hated it with a passion. Yet a group of his friends were going so he had tagged along. As expected the picture changed and there he was for all the word to see with a giant hook in his hand.

"You know if you're interested I can show you how to fish properly."

Castle turned surprised at Jim's offer. He had pretty much thought fishing sucked but if Jim was offering to spend time with him, than he would take it. Maybe he could get some blackmail material for when it was Beckett's birthday.

"Thanks."

"Richard Castle is the kind of person who loves to dance."

Castle watched in horror as his victory dance from the Hamptons was now suddenly larger than life for everyone to see. He covered his face with his hands but then dropped it to look at Beckett.

"I thought you deleted it."

Beckett smiled at him. "I did. But not before sending it to your daughter."

Oh so this was a conspiracy, the woman in his life were ganging up on him.

"Richard Castle is the kind of person who doesn't, mind making a fool of his self to make a friend smile."

Castle's eyes narrowed, he had made a fool of himself numerous times, but for a friend? The picture changed and he let out a huge guffaw.

"Hey"

"Hey why did you involve us?"

It was clear the two men next to him weren't happy about being included in his humiliation. The picture was another taken from the fake magazine shoot. There he stood with his partners in crime Ryan and Esposito, posing with their hands on their hips, pouting their lips. The three men looked quite funny and that was the whole point, to make Beckett smile.

"Richard Castle is the kind of man who invites you around for dinner and then gets you to cook."

Castle stared in wonder at the picture that appeared on the screen. How, how was this even possible. The picture wasn't the best quality but it was clear what the picture was. It had been taken in this very home, of his kitchen. Of Beckett and himself cooking in the kitchen. Well Beckett was doing the cooking, or rather chopping, he was stealing vegetables. This particular shot was of the two of them in their matching aprons standing very close together. He had no idea how the picture had been taken considering they were the only two people in the room.

"Richard Castle is the kind of person who won't let you get away with pushing him into freezing cold water. He will pick you up and throw you in there too."

While others around him laughed, Castle smiled as memories of their time at the Hamptons came rushing back to him. It was so out of character for Detective Beckett to push him in the water, but he was starting to realise it was very in character for Kate.

"Richard Castle is however the kind of person who won't hold a grudge and will offer to carry you across the sand, so it doesn't stick to your body."

Castles mouth dropped open as yet another picture flashed on the screen and he had no idea how the picture even existed. It was of a scene he had run over in his head so many times yet this wasn't in his point of view. Again it was a picture of himself and Beckett, except this time they were both smiling like idiots. Beckett was on his back, one arm on his shoulder the other raised in the air holding an imaginary whip. It was a rare shot of Beckett acting with such wild abandonment. He still wondered who had taken a photo and how quickly he could get a copy of it. To a stranger this picture could be of a couple enjoying a day at the beach.

"And finally Richard Castle is."

Castle moved his eyes from smiling Beckett on the screen to nervous Beckett in his home. What was making her so nervous, did he have a reason to be nervous. What could be worse than a picture of him dancing like Beyonce. Beckett took another deep breath and her lip began to tremble.

"Most importantly Richard Castle is the, is the." Beckett tried to start her speech again but she faulted. She bit her lip before taking a few deep breaths. The picture changed again and he watched as Beckett turned to look at the screen. He followed her gaze and stared at the picture of the two of them. He couldn't believe the picture she had chosen to put up at his birthday party in front of his friends and family. It was the same one her father had picked of the two of them smiling and looking at each other, happiness clearly written on their face. Although he often fantasised that it was more than happiness, it was love. Why would Beckett have shown this picture to everyone, to an outsider this was a picture of a very intimate moment. Not what it actually was, him pulling Beckett to sit in his lap and after a few seconds of struggling, the two of them laughing. Jim had liked the photo so he had asked for a copy, he had also liked it so much it was his wallpaper on his laptop. Now that he thought about it, the only way Beckett could have gotten the shot of them all at the precinct and this one, was if she accessed his computer. If she had accessed his computer than she had seen his wallpaper. Oh crap he was a dead man, the next words out of Beckett's lips surely had to be Richard Castle is the kind of man I am going to strangle. He timidly looked at Beckett and saw she was staring at him intently. She swallowed again before licking her lips and opening her mouth.

"Richard Castle is the kind of man that I love."

Castle stood there frozen in shock. Did she just say LOVE! No she couldn't possibly have. He was fantasising, one too many drinks that's what it had to be. She had said she loved Richard Castle and he was Richard Castle. He feared moving in case it broke the spell. Sliding his eyeballs to the right he saw Esposito smiling at him. That had to be a good sign right, although whatever Beckett had really said could be what was making him smile. He then looked to his left being careful not to move and saw that Jim also was smiling. Castle watched in slow motion as Jims hand came towards him. No , no please don't. His internal pleas went unnoticed as Jim slapped him on the back launching Castle forward.

"Go get her son."

Son! Son, suretly this had to be a he felt the slight pain of the slap and you weren't meant to feel pain in a dream, right. The Beckett vision in front of him didn't vanish either, she just handed the microphone and speech to his mother and saucily walked towards him. A nervous smile crossed her face before she bit her lip.

"What's the matter Castle, cat got your tongue."

Castle gulped, not cat but he was dreaming Kate would.

"Ddddid you just say"

"That I love you " Kate interrupted him. "Yes Castle I did. Happy Birthday I hope you got your birthday wish"

Birthday wish, Castle shook his head and watched as her smiled faulted.

"You didn't"

Castle said the first thing that came to mind. "No I wished for Esposito's balls."

"Dude"

Castle looked towards Esposito and then realised what he said.

"I didn't mean literally. I mean because he is brave and has guts. I was working my way up to asking you for a date. I guess that's pretty redundant now."

Beckett nodded at him.

"Seriously. You love me."

Beckett nodded again.

Castle leaned in. "And no one is dying."

Beckett rolled her eyes at him. "Come on Castle only you would do something that dramatic"

Castle opened his mouth to refute her claim and then closed it again. Yeah ok he was chicken, maybe he would do something like wait until Beckett was on her death bed to confess his true feelings. He didn't have to because she had just confessed her feelings for him. Ion front of his family and friends as a birthday present. He had asked for a sign and this was it, he just needed one final thing to be sure.

"If that was a birthday present then don't I get a kiss after it."

The smile that broke out of Beckett's face could have lit up the night.

"You do."

Beckett brought her hands up to his face and slowly lowered her lips to his. The second her lips hit his Castle declared it the best birthday ever. As her hands snaked their way around his neck he finally allowed himself to touch her and pulled her close. He would gladly give up his fortune to stop the caterwauling of friends and family around him. It was the loud clearing of his mothers throat that had him tearing his lips away from Beckett's. He couldn't help but give her a quick squeeze before turning around keeping one arm around her. The spotlight was once again on his mother.

"Oh behalf of everyone here. It's about time"

The cheering started up again and Castle was worried how Beckett was handling the attention but she just snuggled into his chest and smiled. Best birthday ever.

"Now the party isn't over people. Keep drinking, dancing , having fun just don't expect my son to be aware of anyone in the room apart from Kate"

Castle smiled and shrugged, his mother was right. The music started up and the crowed began to disperse but not before giving a few more congratulatory slaps and well wishes. Beckett turned to face him wrapping her arms back around his neck before started top sway to the music. Castle could safely say he loved dancing now, he would make it mandatory everyday. He would use any excuse to have her in his arms. He rubbed his cheek against the side of her head.

"I love you to Kate"

She pulled her head back from his shoulder.

"I know, your mother and daughter informed me numerous times."

"I am sorry I didn't believe you. I was acted like a fool."

Beckett shook her head. "No Castle, not now. I still want to talk later but for now I just want to enjoy being in your arms." She returned her head to his shoulder and continued to sway to the music.

Castle held Beckett tighter oblivious to the world around him because Beckett was his world. She had said she loved him in front of family and friends. Kissed him with her father and his mother only steps away. He wasn't sure where their relationship was going, they would talk later , but for now he was quite content to be in her arms.

**AUTHORS NOTE: NOT OVER JUST YET, MAYBE ONE MORE CHAPTER FOR THEM TO TALK AND WRAP THINGS UP. DEPENDS ON HOW IT GOES I MIGHT HAVE MORE TO SAY, OR RATHER FOR THEM TO SAY. I WILL LET YOU KNOW AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NEXT CHAPTER IF IT IS OVER OR NOT OK.**

**LOVE YOU GUYS, YOUR REVIEWS HAVE BEEN AMAZING BUT KEEP THEM COMING.**

**ALSO IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY CHECK OUT MY POST ALWAYS FIC Rainbows and Unicorns **

**Review review review , please : )**


	39. Chapter 39

Ok this chapter ran away from me so I need to point out this is NOT the last chapter. I know I have been saying for awhile that this story is wrapping up and thought this might be the end but it isn't. I will warn you when it is. Again NOT LAST CHAPTER

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Previously on Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Beckett confesses her love for Castle in front of his family and friends at his birthday party. **_

Castle closed the door behind the last guest before leaning against it and closing her eyes. It had been one hell of night and he had been so ready for the guest to leave well over an hour ago. His mother had sent him more than one glare when he had dramatically yawned but he couldn't help it. After he wasn't sure how many slow songs the music had stepped up a beat which meant he could no longer glue himself to Beckett. He had gotten away with holding her hips and swaying side to side for a song or to but it wasn't enough. Beckett loved him, he loved her but he wasn't sure what it all meant. She had promised they would talk later but later wasn't going to happen with guests there. That's when he reluctantly pulled himself from Beckett's arms the dramatic yawning started. He had done his best going around to all the guest telling him how happy he was they had come and hoping they would get the picture he wanted them out.

Castle would be losing his Ferrari for two weeks, one week each to Ryan and Esposito. The two men had announced loudly to no one in particular that they were calling it a night. That had started the grand exodus of all the guest including his mother and daughter who informed him they were spending the night at a hotel. Their birthday present to him, although he expected to see that charge on his credit card. He didn't mind though, it meant he had his place free so he could sit down and talk with Beckett.

The woman in question was no where to be seen. She had disappeared about 5 minutes ago saying she would leave him to say good bye to the guests. With a kiss on his cheek, which still surprised him, she had walked off. Now looking at his empty loft that didn't look like a bomb hit it surprisingly he searched for the woman he loved. He looked towards the stairs but dismissed it, she had no real reason to be up there. She had spent a great deal of time in his room so he headed there to look for her. At the very least he could get rid of his jacket and shoes. Seeing the light on he called out to her.

"Beckett, are you in here."

"Yeah, in here."

Castle stood there nervously, she was in the bathroom.

"Umm I'll just wait out here until you're done ok."

"No come in here I am just taking my makeup off. I thought I'd get a head start, Lanie slapped this stuff on me like I was an artist's canvas."

Castle was shocked; he had meant he would wait out in the living room. She was inviting him to watch her take off her makeup. How many woman had screamed like a banshee if he saw them without make up. Castle knocked lightly before entering and was nervous about sticking his head though the small opening, but he had nothing to worry about. Beckett smiled at him as she ran a cotton pad over her face.

"Hey, did they all leave."

Castle nodded. As he watched the ease at which Beckett removed her makeup and the familiarity she had with his bathroom, his restraint slipped. He couldn't help himself, he stepped behind her and warped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"Castle" she warned squirming out of his grasp.

He let go quickly and stepped back. It was too much too soon, he was an idiot. He should know better than to push Beckett.

"I am sorry. I don't know where I stand, where we stand."

Beckett looked at him through the mirror.

"Castle it's fine." Beckett dropped the makeup laden cotton pad and turned to face him. "I just meant wait a second so I can clean this gunk off my face, then you can kiss my clean skin." She then kissed his lips.

Castle laughed under her lips. "I wouldn't mind kissing you even if you were covered with mud."

Beckett laughed. "Well I mind." She turned back and rid her face of the war paint before splashing it with water. As she dried her face with a towel she looked up and saw Castle smiling at her through the mirror.

"What?"

He shook his head. "It's just you look so, I don't know, right. It looks normal for you to be standing in my bathroom removing your makeup. Like you have been doing it here for years."

Beckett turned to him once again and run a hand down his chest.

"That's because I feel comfortable here Castle. I feel safe and at ease and at home here."

Castle stood there shocked; she said she felt at home here. He had noticed she had avoided using that word when she talked about her apartment. She didn't feel at home there but she did here. Hope spurred in him about where the future of their relationship was going.

"Come on we have to talk."

Beckett ran her hand down his chest before clasping his hand and pulling him out of the room. She sat on the bed and he joined her noticing the sudden change in Beckett.

"Are you ok Beckett."

Beckett repositioned herself on the bed as few times before pulling a leg up and shuffling closer to him. She took his hand and gave a squeeze looking down at their joined hands.

"Not really, I want to talk about what's been happening the last few months."

Castle shook his head. "No Beckett, can we just put it all behind us. Forget it all happened."

"No Rick we can't."

Rick, she had called him Rick. She rarely if ever called him Rick. What she wanted to talk about must be important.

"Ok Kate, what do you want to talk about."

She sighed and gave his hand another squeeze.

"I want to apologize for my behaviour."

"Apologize, Kate you have nothing to be sorry for. You've done nothing wrong"

Kate scoffed. "Oh really, because making love to you one day and then treating you like you have the plague the next seems wrong to me."

Rick looked at Kate. Her head was down still looking at their hands. It was as if she couldn't look up at him because she was ashamed at her behaviour. Which was ridiculous, she had been dealing with an internal struggle and he had been more than willing to help. Yes it had stung like a bullet to the chest when she had turned away from him after their night together. Yet somewhere deep inside he held on to the hope that once she got herself sorted out, things would be different.

"Is making love just a fancy, clean way of saying we had sex or do you really feel we made love."

Kate lifted her head to look at him before raising the joined hands and kissing his.

"I am ashamed to say that at first it was just about fore filling a need. For so long I have felt cold inside Rick. Cold and empty and to some degree I was ok with that. I just accepted that was who I was now. Something happened that night in the freezer, when you held me I felt a warmth like I never felt before. At first I didn't understand what it was, but I knew I wanted to feel like that again. Every kiss, every caress from you, warmed my soul. The more I got, the more I wanted. It confused me because I have never needed anything, yet I needed you. The warmth, the heat, the fire you ignited inside of me to melted my frozen soul. I wasn't so cold and empty the night we made love because of you, of what you did for me. The lights, the heat, the photos. I was happy to be in my place because I knew I would be wearing pyjamas you bought for me, slipping into a bed you made. I thought that was enough to appease my body but it wasn't. It was driving me crazy lying on the couch pretending to watch the movie while you lay behind me. I needed more, I needed to burn. It wasn't until we were in bed together, and you took over that, I realised it was so much more sex. So much more than sating my craving. It was about love, with you it couldn't be anything less. It was your love that set me on fire, not your prowess with woman. It was your love and deep down inside my love for you that made me feel so alive that night."

Castle was speechless which was a common occurrence that night. It had been love that night for the both of them. Until moments earlier he had never been sure if she had understood what that night meant to him, if it had just been about sex to her. He could have dealt with the fact that it was just sex to her as long as she knew it was about love for him. To find out that she knew it was about love for the both of them had him almost bursting, yet there was one thing that bothered him.

"If you loved me then why did you push me away?"

Kate took a deep breath before running a hand down Rick's cheek.

"I want you to know that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I did it because of love."

Castle shook his head. "That makes no sense."

"At the time I didn't think it was possible for me to even love. I felt like my heart had died when my mother did and all that as left was the dead empty sack. My dad made me realise that I do have the ability to love. It was my love for your daughter and for you that made me turn my back on you."

"I don't understand what has Alexis got to do with this."

Kate bit her lip. After a long discussion with Alexis the pair had decided it would be better for Kate to tell Rick about what happened that day. Alexis was still open to being punished for what happened and wanted to make sure Kate told her father that. Kate wasn't sure how you punished someone for making you see the light.

"Alexis came to see me the day after we made love. Apparently you were singing Disney songs and she had figured out we had been together. She asked if we were dating and when I told her we weren't she told me to stay away from you." Well that was putting it lightly but Kate saw no reason in mentioning the language Alexis had used in order to address her. "She told me if I didn't love you that I had to stay away. At the time I couldn't fathom that I had the ability to love anyone. I was so cold and dark inside and you were so bright and happy. That 's what love is meant to be about, so I told her I couldn't love anybody. Alexis was so angry and told me to stay away from you and if I didn't she would tell you to stay away from me."

Rick couldn't believe the words that were coming out of Kate's mouth. He knew she wasn't lying but the words were so shocking. his quiet, mature, level headed daughter had gone into battle for him.

"I had to stay away Rick. I couldn't be the reason the two of you had a strained relationship. I know what its like to feel like you have lost everyone you care about in the world and I couldn't let Alexis go through that too." Her voice waivered and Rick saw the tears starting to well in her eyes. He reached out and pulled her to his chest and held her tight.

"It's ok Kate."

Rick was surprised that two woman in his life had kept this secret from him but he was smart enough to realise they were both trying to protect someone they loved.

"You turned away from me so you could protect Alexis."

Kate nodded against his chest. Rick pulled her away and used a finger on her chin to raise her face to look at him.

"Don't cry."

Kate sniffed. "But I hurt you sp badly. We had just shared something amazing and then I threw it back in your face."

Ricked rubbed a hand over her arm. "Yes I was hurt and I could have done without that but Kate you were protecting my daughter. You put her needs over your own, not even her own mother has done that ever."

Kate smiled. "I love her Rick and your mother and you. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for all of you."

Rick pulled her back to his chest and gave a quick squeeze before kissing her on the head.

"I think hearing you say that is almost as good as hearing you say you love me."

Kate laughed. Rick loved his family intensely and there was no doubt in her mind that he would love her the same way.

"Alexis wants to be punished for tearing us apart even though she helped us get together. She even offered to go and live with her mother."

Rick laughed. "I have no idea where she gets her sense of remorse from, certainly not from me or her mother. Alexis helped you put tonight together right, helped penetrate through my think scull that you really do love me."

"A huh, she told me about your death bed confession issue. Gina helped to. Made me realise the only way to get through to you was tell you I love you in true Richard Castle style. A big party, a bit of embarrassment and have the people you love and cared about hear how I love and care about you."

"Alexis doesn't need to be punished, I do. By the sounds of it I owe Gina big time to."

Kate pulled herself out of his arms. "Chapters due on time no arguments. I told Alexis there was no way she was going to live with her mother."

Castle laughed. "Not even the criminals you arrest deserve that kind of punishment. If I know my daughter and I'd like to think I do, she will punish herself."

After hearing all the things Alexis was willing to do in order to make their relationship work Kate didn't doubt it.

"Well we could punish her to benefit us. Make her cook dinner for a month."

"Us," Castle asked. Kate had gone over what had been going on with her recently but the topic of us, or rather them, hadn't come up yet. "Can we talk about us? The ins and outs of how we are an us. I want to know where I stand."

Kate frowned at him. "You're asking me like I am in charge of this relationship."

Rick shrugged at her. "I just don't want to put a foot wrong. I feel like I have been waiting for someone like you my whole life and now that I have you, I don't want to mess it up."

"No, Castle, No." Kate stood up and walked away from him. "I don't want a relationship like that. I don't want you tip toeing around me scared to do or say anything. I don't want that, and I won't accept that. No. I don't want a give and take relationship."

Standing up fear ran though him, they were back to Castle. "Relationships are about give and take Kate."

She spun around quickly to look at him. "Yeah with you doing all the giving and me doing all the taking. I don't want that for us. Not when I am just as scared as you are that I'll mess this up. I don't want to be one of those couples that keep score. I let you get the horrible couch that you loved, so you have to let me get the shag pile pillows you hate."

He laughed at that. "We haven't even defined what we are yet and you already picking out furniture."

"I am serious. If we are going to do this, then I want us to be equals. You don't get the horrible couch and I don't get the shag pillows. We compromise and get a couch and pillows that we both equally agree on, even if it's not our first choice. We both compromise, not just one of us."

"Ok."

Kate shook her head. "Don't just agree."

"I am not." He took a step forward and took her hands in his. "The fact that you want me to have a say, means so much. Both my ex wives tried to control my life and in the end I couldn't handle it."

"Then tell me what you want from us Rick. Where should we begin this relationship, how do we proceed. Just be honest with me and ill respect that. I won't necessary agree but you might not agree with what I have to say about us either."

Rick let go of her hands and began to pace. What did he want from their relationship, everything!

"I want to love you Kate and be loved by you. I want to jump right into this relationship head first, not checking the water level. I don't want first dates where I wonder if it's alright to kiss you, I want to be able to kiss you and hold you whenever and wherever I want. I don't want to go through that awkward get to know you stage. We have already done the ground work for that, if not over the last few months than over the last few years. I know you and you know me. I just want us to be together and I want the whole world to know it. I want to plaster I love Kate on the billboards in time square. When i walk into a room with you on my arm I want everyone to know your mine. Above all I want you not to be scared away by my intensity."

Kate laughed before turning away from him and climbed onto the bed ungracefully. She crawled over to her side of the bed and spun herself around sitting up resting against the headboard. Patting the empty space beside her she waited for rick to join her before she negated the terms of their relationship. She waited for him to get comfortable before she took his hand and squeezed it.

"I agree I want us to be official from now on. No first dates but I wouldn't mind going on date. Like an official date not just, want to grab something to eat after a case. An official date where you make reservations at some nice restaurant and I spend all day shopping with Lanie for a new outfit, because nothing in my wardrobe looks right. ."

Castle held up his hand that she wasn't clutching.

"Yes master Castle."

"Can I interject here."

Kate nodded at him.

"I like the idea of going on a date. We should try and have a date night every so often but like you said, an official date. You don't have to buy anything to wear though as you look great in everything."

Kate nodded and smiled at his flattery. Coming from anyone else it would seem corny but she knew he meant it.

"See compromise works."Kate bit her lip and thought about the other things Rick had said. "You can kiss me and touch me whenever you want as long as we are not working. That means at the precinct and while we are running down leads ok, we have to remain professional."

Rick held his hand again causing her to laugh and pull it back down.

"What?"

"What if we are at the precinct and we are working late and nobody is around. Can I kiss you then."

Kate bit her lip; she had enjoyed the familiarity she had shared over the last hour or so kissing and touching him. When things got back to normal with Rick returning to the precinct she wondered how she would go with her own rule of no kissing and touching. It had driven her crazy when she had her self imposed rule of no touching and that had been the basics. No touching her back to help her though a doorway, no touching while she put on her coat. If she couldn't handle that, then how was she going to handle this.

"If it's late and no one is around and you're leaving then yes you can kiss me good bye." She knew that only kissing her goodbye wasn't much for Rick but Rick was a rule breaker. He would break that rule within two seconds and she had to admit she would enjoy breaking the rules for once.

"So I guess that means no kissing then."

Huh what?

"Why?" She was confused, since when didn't he want to kiss her.

"Because I won't be leaving if you're still working."

This would normally be her typical eye roll moment but she held off. She knew he was being sincere and it was endearing. What she needed to do was come up with a reason for him to be leaving the precinct. There were times when he really didn't have any need to be there especially if she was just doing paperwork or wrapping the final details of a case.

"Rick if there is nothing for you to do, then there is no reason for you to be at the precinct. Plus I'd be leaving soon anyway. If you leave you can go home and organise some food for us because I'll probably have eaten crap all day. Make it nice and special and warm when I get home."

Rick smiled at her now. "Ohh I like that idea, can I be naked when you get home."

Kate laughed. "Well I don't know how Alexis and Martha would feel about that."

Rick was shocked, she had said he could go home and organise food. Have the place nice and warm for when she got home. Home ! She had meant his home, she would be coming to his home. She thought of this place as home. If he hadn't been waiting to hear about all of Kate's stipulations he would have gotten up and danced around his room, for now he would stay seated though.

"Ok so save the nakedness for later but I still get to kiss you at the precinct so that works for me."

Kate nodded compromise that suited them both.

"Now, time square is out." She still had to work in this town. "But I would like to announce us, hopefully that will stop woman asking to have their breasts signed."

Rick pouted at her. "But I like signing breasts."

Kate sighed and looked down at her hands. He was a public figure and he had to keep up a reputation of some sort. This was something she was going to have to get used to, but signing breasts she could do without.

"How about if you have to sign anyone's breasts they be mine and mine only."

Rick's mouth dropped open. "I, I, I, was kidding Kate, of course I am not going to sign woman's breasts. I haven't done that in years."

Kate leaned over and pushed Rick slightly. "You are such an easy mark."

Rick frowned. "You mean I can't sign your breasts."

Kate leaned over and ran a hand down his cheek. "Well I was kinda hoping you would mark my body in other ways."

Rick gulped. "Yes, yes, yes I am very happy with that compromise."

Kate laughed, she was worried now they were together the wow factor would wane. She was glad that she still had the ability to stun him.

"As I was saying, no billboards but I was thinking we could announce us in a public way. That way we could control at least some of the rumours."

Rick nodded, the media would no doubt get wind of their relationship and all sorts of things lies would be printed.

"Did you have anything in particular mind, I can make some calls."

Kate shrugged. "I was thinking we could post something on your official website. I know its not really book related and you don't normally post your personal life on their but."

"No no, I think it's a great idea. That way its straight from the horses mouth. Can we post a picture"

Kate nodded. "I'd like that." She couldn't help the yawn that erupted out of her mouth.  
>"Sorry it's been a long day, we should get ready for bed. Martha and Alexis will be back by lunch tomorrow and the three of us are taking you out for an official birthday lunch."<p>

"Now that is my idea of a birthday. Spending the day with my beautiful girls, now that's a very nice birthday present."

Kate crawled off the bed and headed back towards the bathroom. "You didn't like the presents I got you."

Rick looked towards the drawer where he had placed her first gift. "I couldn't have asked for anything better."

"Really because I have one more for you." She threw over her shoulder as she entered the bathroom.

Rick gulped, she had just said they should get ready for bed and now she had one more gift for him. He still couldn't believe she was his, and not just in his mind she was his for real. She had taken a big chance tonight admitting her love for him in front of their family and friends. His reaction over her first I love you hadn't gone over well yet she had tried again. It could have blown up in her face badly; luckily he really did love her. Earlier in the night he had asked for a sign that she loved him and it had been delivered. He knew Kate wasn't one for the limelight, yet she had stood there confessing her love for him because she knew there was no other way. Rick wasn't sure how he could make it up to Kate for what he put her through, although by the sounds of it she was also feeling guilty for similar reasons. All he could do was love her as passionately as possibly, just as she was already doing with him. Right now she was in his bathroom preparing his next present so he better be prepared for it. He rolled over his bed and quickly entered his robe shedding his coat as he went. Throwing it in the corner he quickly removed his shoes and dropped his pants. Thankful he had removed his tie earlier he easily pulled off his shirt and then caught a glimpse of himself in mirror. Superman boxers and t shirt. Should he remove them and put something else on. No he decided. This was part of who he was, no more secrets.

Walking out of the robe he dimmed the lights in the room before throwing back the covers on the bed. Hearing the bathroom door open rick turned to look at Kate and nearly fainted. Gone was the red dress that had given him a permanent hard on and in its place an outfit giving him the same reaction. He decided black was his new favourite color for Kate to wear. Kate's creamy skin set of the black satin and lace perfectly. Two barley there straps held the black fabric to her body allowing him full view of her neck and collar bone. Lace covered each breast hinting at the glory that was behind it. From beneath her breasts to about 2 inches above her hips slippery satin begged to be touched. A inch of bare skin above her satin and lace shorter than short shorts drew the attention of his eyes. She really was extraordinary.

She walked towards him and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and drew his lips to her own. Her tongue plundered his mouth and his brain was having trouble keeping up with his thoughts. Kiss Kate, touch Kate, kiss Kate. His hands that had been on her hips lowered and gripped her butt tightly causing a groan to be emitted, he wasn't sure by who. Keeping one hand where it was his other hand began to roam over her back. She was in his arms, she was his, which was why he had to stop. He removed his hands and took a step back. Kate didn't seemed phased she simply walked over to the bed and slipped between the sheets. He followed her and turned off the lamp plunging them into darkness. Kate found him in the darkness and her tongue returned to its earlier mission. He kissed her back with equal passion until he felt one of Kate's hand moving down his body. Grabbing her wrist Kate tried to shake him off but he held fast.

"Rick what's wrong?"

He let go of her wrist closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"You're going to think I am an idiot."

"Too late for that."

There was humour in her voice and he felt her slight chuckle against his ribs. He ran a hand up her face and into her hair.

"Can we not do this tonight."

He felt her slide from his body. "Is everything ok?"

It was his turn to laugh. "Apart from me being an idiot, yeah everything is ok." He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. "I just want to hold you tonight. That sounds ridiculous right, we are finally together and all I want to do is hold you. I can't explain it; I do want to make love to you just not tonight. I just want to do something basic like hold you, to feel close to you. Not that making love to doesn't make us close. I just. See I am an idiot."

Kate snuggled into Ricks chest. Holding him did feel pretty good. To lie in his bed with him knowing she didn't have to get up early tomorrow to leave. It had been a long and worrisome day and she reluctantly had to admit she was a bit tired. While lying in her bed alone she had thought about making love to him again, but more often she thought about being in his arms. Sitting on his couch, in his arms, lying in his bed, in his arms.

"You're not an idiot Rick. I love lying in bed with you."

"I feel like an idiot. You look amazing and your finally mine, I just want us to have more than just a physical relationship. I want to enjoy the simply things in life."

Kate pulled herself up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "That's one of the many things I love about you Rick, you still enjoy the simply things in life. We can take a rain check on tonight, I don't mind. Being with you is what's important. Tonight wasn't about making love, it's about being in love." Kate pulled the covers up to her throat before wrapping her arms around her man of steel. "I love you Rick.

The woman in his arms would never stop surprising him. She understood him like no one ever had before. There was a small part of him that wanted to roll this woman and make slow sweet love to her, she was amazing. Beauty, brains and of course the most endearing trait, she was in love with him. As sleep started to sweep over him he knew that this was by far the best birthday ever.

AUTHORS NOTE: REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

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	40. Chapter 40

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**After Kate reveals she loves Rick in front of his family and friends, the pair sit down and have a heart to heart about where their relationship has been and where it is going. AGAIN NOT LAST CHAPTER BUT THE NEXT ONE WILL BE.**_

Kate opened her eyes and smiled at the view before her. She often heard people paid millions of dollars for an apartment the size of a toilet, simply because it had an amazing view. She wasn't sure how many people would actually pay a million dollars for this view; it was just a wall after all. A wall that was in Richard Castle's bedroom and she didn't have to pay a thing for it. Nope, she had won the love lottery and the funny thing was, she didn't even buy a ticket. Snuggling into the bed she felt the arm around her waist tighten. She couldn't help but let out a groan, that was the best thing about the view, it came with Richard Castle. The man she could now call her boyfriend. If it wasn't for the fact that she had Rick's arm wrapped around her waist, she would have jumped out of bed and danced around the room. The very reason she wanted to get up and dance was the fact that she was in bed with Rick's arms around her waist.

Rick Castle was her boyfriend.

Rick was her boyfriend!

Aahhhhhhhhhhhh.

She was so happy and so excited. She was giddy, she was never giddy. That was the power of Richard Castle, he could take you away to place where anything is possible. A place where she felt like dancing. She could imagine herself dancing around the room similar to the way she had danced with Alexis last night.

Alexis, Alexis was her, well she was her boyfriends kid. Something she would proudly spout to anyone who would listen. The young woman had been instrumental in last night being a success, it had been her idea to show all the different photos. Thank you Alexis for spying on them and taking some amazing shots. Kate had only thought about confessing her love and had never really thought how she would do it to make Rick listen. Alexis had been all. "Don't just tell dad, show him." It was by far the best idea. It showed Rick that she didn't want to hide their relationship like they had been doing with whatever they had before. She wasn't ashamed to have his friends and family see them in intimate moments.

When Alexis had first brought over her laptop and showed her a variety of photos, including the ones the young woman had taken, Kate had been a bit embarrassed. Not because she had been caught in an intimate moment with Rick, it was because she was a detective and hadn't seen Alexis sneak up on them. The pictures were great though, Kate had them already uploaded to her phone and computer. Spent way to much time looking at them too. She wouldn't be spending her nights looking at her phone, no she would be looking at the real thing. Kate rolled her eyes, here she was thinking about him when she could be looking at him. Rolling over she stared up at him, it had been way to long since she had seen him like this. Relaxed, quiet, asleep, or so she thought. He pursed his lips at her and started whimpering like a little puppy. She put him out of his misery, well her misery too, and pulled herself up just enough to place a chaste kiss to his lips. He groaned in pleasure as she pulled away.

"Morning Rick." She smiled in delight as a grin appeared on his face and he pulled her even closer to his chest.

"Morning Kate, what time is it."

He kept his eyes closed probably trying to enjoy the last vestiges of sleep. Kate pulled herself up slightly and looked at the clock on his bedside table.

"10 o'clock!" She told him surprised, 10 o'clock! When had she ever slept that late? Since her revelation she had been sleeping better, not as good as when she was with him, but better. Every night she went to bed wearing the pyjamas Rick had bought for her, again not him but better than nothing. The picture of his family lay on the empty bed beside her while she snuggled into her pillow. Well her 'Castle' pillow. She liberally spayed it every night with Rick's cologne, thank you Alexis.

Rick pulled her closer if that was even possible and placed a kiss to her head. How he was able to kiss her directly in the middle of her forehead with his eyes closed spun her mind.

"We slept for eight hours straight, did you sleep well Rick." She slept fantastically.

He nodded his head. "I had the most amazing dream."

Kate's eyebrows rose. "Really, tell me about it."

"There was this incredibly sexy, amazing, extraordinary woman telling me she loved me." His eyes opened and the smile on his face grew. "Wait it wasn't a dream."

In what little space there was between them Kate slapped his chest slightly.

"Happy Birthday." She then placed a quick peck to his lips.

He wriggled his body against her. "A very happy birthday indeed."

Kate could tell Rick was happy, very happy. Especially happy below his waist band. She felt the hand at her waist dip under the hem of her top. His hands moved almost nervously over her bare flesh.

"So technically it's my birthday today, am I allowed to unwrap my present now."

Kate took her hand off Rick's chest and wrapped it around his back pulling him closer to her not even air between their bodies. She copied him and slipped her hands under his blue superman shirt and stared pulling the garment up. Ricks hands left her body as he helped her remove his shirt laughing as it left his body.

"Looks like my present is unwrapping me."

"Your present is very eager to be in your arms again, it has been way to long."

Kate slipped her hands around his neck and pulled his head closer to her so she could give him a proper kiss. She rolled her body so she was lying on her back Rick's body following hers. Kate couldn't help but groan as the weight of his body brought back memories of their first time together. Not being able to help herself, Kate clawed at Ricks body urging his to lie completely over hers.

Rick laughed against her lips as he obliged her and covered her body with his own. He tried to keep his weight on his upper arms but Kate's hands on his upper back forced him to lower his body completely. Her groan caused his body react and he couldn't help but rub his groin against her, enticing another groan out of her. Rick tore his lips from her mouth and started on her throat. He couldn't get over how responsive she was to him, every little groan meow or gasp of breath had him lusting for more. She was incredible and he was incredibly lucky to have her in his life and he couldn't get enough off her. He started to trail his lips down her throat and over her chest pausing briefly to kiss one lace covered breast as he palmed the other. Moving his mouth to her other breast her lowered his now otherwise unoccupied hand to her hip and groaned as he squeezed it. He was filled with so much passion and desire and he couldn't contain it. Gripping her hip was his attempt at trying to get a grip on reality. He couldn't believe he was in bed with this siren and she was all his. His to love, his to enjoy, his to devour. Kissing her satin covered ribs his lips couldn't move fast enough. He wanted to kiss everyone square inch of her, show her how much he loved every little bit of her. Lifting her top slightly he placed his lips to her bare stomach ever so gently. Moving down the bed slightly he moved his lips down one leg and up the other. He didn't want any part of her body to doubt his love. lingering over the apex of her thighs he gently placed a kiss over her black fabric covered core. The surprise gasp had him kissing her hard yet again.

"Rick" She managed to gasp out. "I thought this was supposed to be your birthday present not mine."

Rick let out a little chuckle as he tore his mouth away from its desired location, another part of his body wanted it more.

"Oh trust me Kate this is definitely, MY birthday present. In fact it's my birthday, Christmas, Easter."

"Easter" she asked confused.

"MMMhhhhmmm. Getting all those Easter eggs and chocolate, melting it down then pouring it over your body. I'd then lick it off." He accentuated his point by running his tongue around her belly button. Rick looked up at the woman who had just let out an indistinguishable noise and a cheeky grin broke out of his face. Her eyes were closed and she was gripping the bed sheets tightly. Making love was about passion and desire, it was also about fun. Placing his lips to her stomach he blew out a breath of air, effectively blowing a raspberry to her belly.

Kate let out a shocked squeal.

"Riiccccccccccccccckkk." She was now laughing at squirming as he attempted to blow a few smaller ones. "Get back up here you. My lips miss yours."

"I'm not quite done." Placing a few more kisses to her stomach he tucked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and drew them down her legs. He shifted to the side of the mattress and wiggled out of his superman briefs and then slowly kissed his way back up her body. He settled himself between her parted thighs as her hands gripped his bare butt forcing his body even closer. He kissed her neck before he made his way up to her ear.

"I have protection in the bedside table,"

She pulled her head away from his and frowned at him.

"I told you I have the implant in my arm, we don't need protection."

Rick slid off her body slightly still keeping one leg over both of hers. He ran a hand through her tangled hair.

"I know we don't need it for that. I just thought it might be a lot less messier for you."

Kate bit her lip as she smiled. He was always thinking about her, about her needs.

"Considering how late it is, I thought I would just jump straight in the shower afterwards. If that's ok with you?"

"My shower is your shower" he told her.

Kate nodded. "Good because I kind of like the feeling of making love to you with no barriers between us. It felt amazing the first time and I want to repeat that." Oh how did she want to repeat that? Every time she crawled into her bed she thought about how he had crawled over her body. How every touch made her body sing with delight.

Rick thought if he smiled anymore he would spilt his cheeks. He had honestly thought the same thing; it was amazing how in sync the two of them were. As much as he wanted to slide over her body and insert himself between her legs he didn't want to be selfish. Tucking his foot under her legs he grabbed her arms and rolled over hauling her with him.

"Time for you to have some fun now."

Lying sprawled on his body Kate tried to push herself up. What was he talking about, time for her to have fun? She frowned at him.

"Did you misinterpret my groans of pleasure as groans of pain?"

Rick smiled at her.

"No, you said you preferred to be on top, that you enjoyed it more. I was selfish last time and dominated. I just wanted to show you how much I loved you, that it wasn't just sex. It's your turn; I really want you to enjoy it"

Kate lightly slapped his chest. "What did I say last night Castle, no counting who got what, when? This is exactly what I was talking about with the couch and the pillows. None of this my turn your turn."

Rick sighed, she had called him Castle. She was telling him off.

"This wasn't about counting Kate, it's about you giving me so much I just wanted to give something back. I love seeing you underneath me, but seeing you on top wouldn't exactly be bad either. I just want you to enjoy this as much as possible."

Kate didn't think it was possible to love this man more but he kept surprising her.

"Rick I'm about to say something that you will probably never hear me say again, I was wrong."

Rick scoffed. "I am sorry, what?"

Kate poked her tongue out at him, and then smiled. "I was wrong. In the past the only way I could really enjoy sex was to be on top. I was wrong; the only way to really enjoy sex is to have you as a partner. I've never liked being underneath because it meant being trapped, I am always looking for an escape. Not anymore. I love feeling your weight on top of my body, I don't want to escape."

Rick smiled at her. "Well that's good because you're not going anywhere." He rolled them once again and was thrilled when she let out a delighted squeal.

"And here I was thinking I had spoiled the mood."

He slowly inserted himself between her legs. "With you lying half naked in my bed, not a chance. You could throw a bucket of icy cold water over me and it wouldn't turn me off right now."

Kate tried to keep her mind on what Rick was saying but it was hard considering the sensations he was creating with in her body.

"Icy cold water. Rick. Is that you idea of being kinky?"

Leaning down to kiss her hard he chuckled against her lips. "No Kate but I have a whole list if you interested."

Oh she was interested, very interested. Before sex had been about release but she knew now with Rick it could be about so much more.

"Oh I am interested Rick. It is your birthday after all, you deserve a special treat."

"You're my special treat Kate."

Kate ran her hands down his back and over his butt before giving it a quick light slap. He was a writer, he earned his living with words, he lived in a world of fiction. Yet there was nothing fake about what he said to her. He meant the words, they weren't just meaningless nonsense uttered during sex.

"You still deserve a treat, Rick."

Rick stopped his movements and looked down and the woman underneath him. She was serious, she wanted to give him something extra. The presents she had given him already had been enough. Revealing he had been the one to help her through her mother's murders had been mind blowing. A secret she had obviously held close to her heart yet she had opened up to him. Her admission of love in front of everyone had practically paralysed him with shock. Sure he fantasised about her being in love with him but he never thought he would live to see the day. Then last night her exiting his bathroom dressed in a sexy black outfit, he had shown extreme control not to jump her bones, or mess his pants. Now she was offering him something else. Something from his kinky list, his fantasy list."

"Are you sure?"

Kate raised one solitary eyebrow at him. "It depends on what you have in mind."

He could write a whole book on his fantasies, hell he had written one of his fantasies in his book. Yet out of all of kinky, crazy, sexual fantasies there was one that stood out.

"Will you call me Castle."

Kate frowned at him. "What? That's your fantasy."

Rick shrugged. "Well in the beginning a lot of my fantasies occurred at the precinct."

"At the precinct as in that's where you were when you thought about the fantasies or that's where your fantasies took place."

Rick gave her a devilish smile. "Both."

Kate licked her lips. "Ok Castle. You want to play naughty novelist and dirty detective. I am game. You have already debriefed me Castle what's your next plan of action."

Castle lay there frozen. She! What? Dirty Detective!. Was it possible to love her more? He lowered his head and placed a slow gentle kiss to her lips. This woman was amazing. Smart, funny, incredibly and she was up for playing games. She was perfect and she was his. He started his movements yet again and revelled in the fact that he was giving the woman he loved, so much pleasure. She closed her eyes and arched her back.

"Oh Castle."

Sweeter words had never been uttered and it caused his body to react accordingly, surging into her deeper. This action caused dirty detective Beckett to groan and clench herself around him. Castle groaned practically collapsing on top of her.

"Beckett you're so beautiful, I love you."

"I love you to Castle. Next time I promise to bring my handcuff so we can have more fun."

Castle chuckled against her throat. "Is that even possible? Honestly I don't think I could handle not being able to touch you." He accentuated his point by running his hand down her chest.

"I didn't say you would be the one wearing the hand cuffs."

He froze again and Beckett chuckled. She couldn't believe it, she was laughing when making love, who did that? They did! One session of making love had kissing. Blowing raspberries on her stomach. More kissing. Talking about protection. More kissing. Taking about who gets to be on top. More kissing. Talking about fantasies. Now more kissing. All of this had gone on yet none had detracted from their love making, if anything it made it better. Sex didn't have to be all serious. Laughter, love and kinky sex games were a part of it, but never had she experienced all three. Another thing she was experiencing was comfort. She felt so unbelievable comfortable with him, she could be herself, even while in bed. She could simply let go and be the dirty detective, the sex kitten, the talkative trickster. The sex kitten in her clenched her body around him and thrust her hips up.

"You'll be the death of me detective." He began to thrust into her again. His mind was in full thesaurus mode. Beautiful, amazing, incredible. Oh my god this woman was his, or he was hers, it didn't matter, they were together. He was making love to her. He was making love to her and she wasn't telling him to shut up, to stop taking , to stop joking. She was with him 100% of the way, they were different, they were the same. He felt like he was going to explode with happiness, he couldn't help but pepper kisses all over the parts of her body he could reach. He needed her, he wanted her, he was having her. His need for her was so strong he was worried he would frighten her with his intensity. When she grabbed his head almost violently and kissed him hard he knew his fears were unwarranted.

"Oh God Beckett, I am so close."

Beckett lifted her hips up trying to get even closer to him

"Me to Castle, oh so close."

He increased his speed and was almost shocked when she suddenly arched up and screamed out his name.

""

He gritted his teeth trying to gain control. he wanted to go faster, his release was so close. Beckett's needs came fast through. As she writhed underneath him he slowed his strokes drawing out her orgasm. Her breathing was laboured as she gasped for breath.

"Castle"

The name expelled from her lips sounding surprised, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"Castle" She repeated again.

He lowered his sweat slicked body to hers and whispered into her ear. "Yes my love."

"Better."

"Better." He asked confused.

"Better than last time, way better." She blinked her eyes a few times and drank in air deeply. "Are you sure there isn't anything special I can do for your birthday."

Castle began increasing his pace.

"You could utter the three little words I love hearing."

Beckett lifted up slightly and began nibbling on his ear. it was time for talkative trickster.

"Hot, hot, hot."

Castle chuckled before kissing her shoulder. Well he loved hearing those words too.

"You little vixen."

Beckett licked his earlobe before inserting it into her mouth. She sucked on it briefly before letting it go.

"I love my naughty novelist."

Castle groan and thrust into her deeply, at this rate he was going to last about two seconds.

"I love Richard Castle."

His breathing began to quicken and he was worried he would lose his ability to breath.

"I love you."

That was it, she loved him. He exploded into her, his brain losing all function. Instinct had his body rocking into as convulsions ran over his body. Oh god Beckett was right, this was better than last time. This time he knew they had a future together.

"Best Birthday Ever!"

He felt her body vibrate under him as she laughed.

"Best day ever I think." She told him. "You have filled my life with so much love and laughter."

He tried to prop himself up on one arm to alleviate the weight he was putting on her. Running a hand through her hair, he placed a soft kiss to her lips.

"You have done the same for me. You know how much I love you right."

Her lips grew into a smile. "Yes I do. So much" she said closed her eyes and breathed deeply as if recalling what they had just done. Opening her eyes she stared at him deeply. "It's hard to explain what I am feeling right now Rick. There is just so much life and joy inside of me, that's a very foreign feeling. I feel so happy and free. Normally being in a relationship puts limitations on what you can do, an almost trapped feeling. Yet I feel like none of that with you. I feel like I can do anything, that doors are opening rather than closing."

Rick ran his and over her cheek before letting his fingertips brush over her lips.

"The feeling is mutual. I feel like for the first time in my life I can be myself with a woman who isn't related to me. I feel that freedom to."

"Speaking of woman you are related to. If we don't want the next sentiment for us to be feeling, to be embarrassment, we better be getting out of bed. Being caught by them once was bad enough."

Rick started to lift off of Kate before he stopped. Hold on what did she just say?

"When were we caught?"

Kate winched guiltily. "Well apparently your mother and daughter knew I was sleeping here. Alexis caught me leaving in the mornings, I didn't see her but she saw me. Your mother noticed my car was parked out the front sometimes and my jacket was left in the cupboard."

"So they didn't actually catch us in bed."

Kate grimaced. "Well there was one morning where Martha snuck into your room and found us asleep. Apparently we had our arms wrapped around each other."

Rick looked guilty. "I am sorry; we should have locked the door. Hey what was my mother doing in my room anyway?"

Kate laughed. "She was borrowing hair products."

Ricks face scrunched up. "I knew there was some missing; Alexis told me I was going crazy."

Kate tapped his shoulder. "Speaking of Alexis."

Rick regrettably lifted off her and watched as she climbed out of bed and her bare butt and the rest of her body ran awkwardly to his bathroom. Rolling onto his back he stared up at the ceiling. He had just made love to the most beautiful amazing, extraordinary woman alive. She loved him for him, Superman pyjamas and all. Kate wasn't just after the thrill of having sex with Richard Castle like some ladies he had been with. She wasn't even after his money, never had she asked him to buy her anything. On more than one occasion he had found a stray 10 dollar bill in his pocket. He had no idea when Kate had stealthily slid it in there but he was sure it was her and it was for the coffee. What she didn't know is that he put that money back into the policeman widower fund. Hearing the shower run Rick climbed out of bed, he wanted to spend every moment possible showing Kate how special she was, and how special she was to him.

Kate tilted her had back and let the hot water run over her hair, it felt good to get all that gunk out of it. As her hands ran over her head and down her neck she closed her eyes as her body still tingled from Ricks touch. He was by far the best lover she had ever had, because she was in love. 100% head over heels giddy school girl in love. Kate couldn't help it, she crossed her arms over her chest, creating an arm bra and jumped up and down on the spot.

She was in love with Richard Castle, she was in love with Rick.

"Are you ok in there?"

Kate stopped jumping and turned to see Ricks blurry form walk past the frosted shower door.

"Umm yeah."

She quickly picked up her shampoo poured out a generous amount and massaged it through her hair quickly. Rick still had to have a shower and Martha and Alexis would be there soon. Rinsing her hair she grabbed the conditioner and slid the creamy mixture over her locks. She knew she was meant to keep it on her hair for a few minutes but today her hair could be a bit tangled . As she tilted her head back again she heard the sound of tap being turned on and water running. She thought it was strange that she could hear anything over the shower, that's when she noticed water running down the back wall. When the shower door opened she practically jumped in shock and watched as Rick slide inside and sat on the ledge. He scooted back and rested his back against the watery wall.

Rick was in the shower with her!

Kate bit her lip. Showers a very personal thing. In the past she hadn't liked it when guys had come into the shower with her, usually because the only reason they were in there was for sex. She loved Rick, she really did, but they had just had sex. Not that she didn't want to repeat the act, she did. Over and over again, just not in the shower. It was slippery and dangerous and she could never quite get the enjoyment out of. Maybe things would be different with Rick though, they were in the bedroom. She should really give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Pretty Cool huh." He said as he tilted his head back slightly to wet his hair under the miniature waterfall.

Kate frowned. "Where was the tap?"

"It's on the outside. It was originally in here but I kept turning it off and on with my butt. It's great. I love a hot shower especially after I have had a hard day. There is nothing better than coming in here and sitting down and just relaxing. The water runs over your back and keeps you warm."

Kate nodded at him; it was a pretty good idea actually and that was exactly what she liked about having a shower on her own. She had to bite her lip to make a retort about Rick never working hard though. "You can also sit sideways and angle the shower head so it hits the side of your body."

Rick looked at her curiously. "When have you had a shower here?"

Whoops, she hadn't told Rick everything.

"The night you were in the hospital I stayed here. Alexis insisted and honestly it was the best thing I could have done. I had a real good talk with your family about us and I got a lot of things off my chest, it was very therapeutic."

She watched as Rick smiled at her, he was wither happy she stayed here or getting excited over the fact she used the word, Therapeutic. What was it with this guy and big words. If they turned him on so much she might just have to pull out the dictionary and research words 10 letters or greater.

"I am glad you stayed here."

Kate nodded at him while she looked around the shower. Great, now what. Did he expect her to instigate the love making? He was sitting down and she wondered if he wanted her to straddle his hips, as at the moment that did look like the best idea if she was to enjoy it.

"So how exactly do we go about this?"

She watched as he frowned at her obviously having no idea what she was talking about.

"Sex," She told him. "I've never really been up for it in the shower it's just never really worked but that was in the past. I was wrong before about being underneath so maybe I am wrong about this too. I know being with you is going to be different on so many different levels so I am willing to give this a try. So if you tell what I should be doing I'd appreciate it."

He looked at her gobsmacked. "You want to have sex again?."

Kate crossed her arms over her chest self consciously. "Not really but isn't that why you are in here. Isn't that why men have showers with woman?"

Rick shuffled forward on the seat reached for one crossed arm and pulled it away from her body. He tugged at it bringing her closer before placing his hands on her hips and spinning her around. Kate found herself being pulled down to sit on his lap her back facing his chest. Ok she thought, this was one of his kinky sex moves. His arms moved to wrap around her and that's where they stayed.

"I came to join you in the shower for this and this only."

Kate sat there assessing the situation. He came in to hold her!

"Really, that's all," she asked.

"That's all."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw his head lean around so she turned so that they could fully look at each other.

"Kate I know we just made love and saw each other naked but sharing a shower can still be a little to intimate for some people. While in bed your focussed on other things, here you're open to the world. If you're not comfortable having me in here with you, then I'll leave."

Kate shook her head, well actually having him in here wasn't bad. Showers with men had taken on a bad connotation because they had simply wanted sex and she just wanted to go in there and relax, or was running late for work.

"It's not that Rick, I feel comfortable with you, more than I ever have with anyone else. Just in the past sharing a shower meant sex and I just wanted it to be about getting clean."

Rick laughed. "I am not saying I don't want to have sex in the shower with you. There are a few places I wouldn't mind having sex with you now that we are talking about it. The truth is I just wanted to come and share something intimate with you and being inmate doesn't have to mean making love. Now stand up and I'll show you. If you want me to stop or get out I will, I won't get offended."

Kate did as he asked then watched as he picked up her bottle of body wash and pored some into his hands.

"Are you ready."

Kate nodded. She was more than ready to be shown they ways of the world by Richard Castle with all the delights and fulfilments it could bring.

AUTHORS NOTE: OK SO I HAD FULLY INTENDED FOR THIS TO BE THE LAST CHAPTER BUT IT GOT A BIT LONG SO I DECIDED ONE MORE TO GO TO TIDY THINGS UP. Please review and let me know what you think. Sorry about the delay.

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	41. Chapter 41

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

_**Rick And Kate spent their first day together as an official couple. Discovering the freedom they feel when they are together. THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER AHHHH **_

As the wind whipped around her Kate shivered as she tried to crawl further inside her jacket. It was not beach weather, yet here she was sitting out there freezing her butt off. There was only two crazy people on the beach today, herself and Rick. Well herself, Rick, and a bunch of sea birds. The Hamptons were practically deserted this time of year but coming here had become a tradition. Kate smiled as she shook her head. It had only been four months since they had officially started dating and yet they already had a tradition. The thought both delighted her and befuddled her. Four months! Four months and they were already creating memories that would last a lifetime.

It had started the day of his birthday. During lunch with Martha and Alexis she had revealed she had been given a few days off. He had let her out of his sight only so she could go home and pack a few items. His theory had been if they packed separately it would be quicker that way, and therefore would get to the Hamptons quicker. Especially considering she wouldn't need that many clothes anyway he had told her. He was right. When they hadn't been in bed it had been jeans and a sweatshirt. Taking turns cooking meant they didn't go out and mingle so anything formal wasn't required. Adding a jacket for when they walked on the beach hand in hand or sat to watch the sunset had been the extent of their wardrobe.

Their time in bed together wasn't only about making love; it was about getting to know each other on a deeper level. One day had involved eating all their meals in bed while they watched movies and answered crazy quiz questions about each other on Rick's laptop. Another day an innocent massage had turned into a very heated love making session, but that wasn't her fault. Rick had been very good about keeping his hands on her back and her back only. He didn't even let his little finger slip slightly to touch the side of her breast, and that was the problem. His hands were on her body, so soft and gentle and she had wanted more. The rest of her body had been jealous of the attention her back was getting.

The point was there time together had been incredibly relaxing and they had gone back to work with a new thirst. Whenever Rick got blocked or a case had been particularly heinous, they would head to the Hamptons. Sometimes for a few days, once for 24 hours when they couldn't get time off but needed the rest. Often while she was wrapping up the ends of a case including tedious paperwork Rick would leave to get things organised. He would return when she was ready and have provisions and clothes for the both of them. At times she wondered if the reason they went so often was because he got to drive.

It wasn't just the two of them that went to the Hamptons, Alexis and Martha often joined them too. After a case that had gone on for way to long it was clear they all needed a break. Montgomery had given them three days off over a weekend so Rick had invited Ryan, Jenny, Esposito and Lanie to join them. It had been exactly what they all needed.

The Hamptons had been about reviving the body and the brain for them. Rick often went for walks on the beach to clear his head and sort out storylines. While Rick walked on the beach and 'wrote', she sat and read, the abandoned Kindle sat in her lap. It had been a surprise when he had presented her with the electronic device a month ago. She had figured he would hate such a device, there was nothing like the smell and feel of a book. He had pointed out the Kindle was for the beach only. If she insisted on sitting out on the beach it would help not to have her pages whipping about. The truth was she hardly ever read, she preferred instead to watch Rick at work. Once she had admonished Rick for watching her do paperwork, sighting it was creepy. Now she was a proud member of the creepy club. There was just something about watching him while the little monkey inside his head clanged symbols together.

Kate laughed when she heard Castle yell out then started jumping up and down on the spot scaring the sea bids. Obviously the story line was going well. When he stared purposely striding towards her she quickly looked down at her Kindle and flicked it out of sleep mode. Rick would get upset at her for sitting out there in the cold just so she could be with him. He threw himself down on the sand next to her.

"Heat and Rook giving you some trouble."

Rick sat up giving her a kiss on her very cold nose, before nodding looking quite distressed.

"Do you want some help?"

About a month after they were dating Kate had walked into Rick's study and flopped down on the couch. It took him awhile to notice she was there but once he did, he immediately engaged her in conversation about his work. He had asked her what she would do in the situation as he wasn't quite sure how Nikki would react. Her first response was to say she wasn't Nikki, she wasn't the sort to grab a man's hand and run giggling into her apartment. Well maybe not then anyway, had Rick know back then that love would change her and that's why he wrote Nikki the way he did. Nikki was the Kate if she just opened her heart. Rick had agreed she wasn't completely Nikki and he wasn't completely Rook but Kate knew his characters. He demonstrated his point by throwing a pen and paper at her and asking her questions about the characters and what they would do in different situations. After each question he would write down his own answers. When they compared their answers they were almost identical. She may not be Nikki but she knew the characters inside out. She then started giving him her thoughts and ideas. When his book came out she was looking forward to pointing out different sections that she had helped write.

"I hate how some stories just jump to the characters doing something that there was no lead up to. I want to plant the seed now for something that I want to eventually happen in future. Like in a few books time mind you."

Kate nodded she knew exactly what he meant. "So what's the seed?"

Rick suddenly looked nervous. "Well I eventually want the characters to get married."

Kate drew in a startled breath.

"In a few books time," he added quickly.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him but nodded. "So what's the seed?"

"Well I want Rook to ask Heat to move in with him but I am not sure how Heat will react. Will she run screaming in the other direction? Will she say she's not ready and Rook needs to wait and ask her again in a few months time?"

Rick was nervous, really nervous. Kate couldn't help but bite her lip, this man was so adorable. She was supposed to believe that he was this nervous about ROOK asking HEAT to move in yeah right. Kate smiled a mischievous smile, she couldn't believe it , he really didn't know. She thought he was playing dumb as to not make a big deal of it.

It was time to be the talkative trickster.

"Well let's think about it for a moment Rick. Things have been going well for Rook and Heat right?"

He nodded at her. Kate smiled she loved when they built theory not only for work but for his books.

"And they have been spending alot of time together. Heat has been staying at Rooks place correct."

Rick nodded again. Kate tried to keep her face neutral it was time to drop the bomb.

"Is Rook sure Heat hasn't already moved in."

Ricks mouth dropped open. "No I would have known."

Kate raised he brows at him.

"I mean Rook would have known." He told her.

Kate looked at Rick and saw his confused face; well if he wanted to play this the Rook and Heat angle then she was happy to.

"Didn't Rook think it was unusual that Heat stayed at his place when he went away for work a month ago?"

She watched as he frowned.

"He thought she stayed to look after his ummm, his goldfish. Red and Hellfire."

Kate had to use her best integrations skills at trying to keep a straight face at Rick's excuse. Since when did Rook have fish? Oh she so couldn't wait to tell Alexis about this one, Martha to. She was sure Martha would love that Rick had called her Hellfire, but Red. Really Rick you're a writer don't you have a better imagination than that.

"Right she stayed to look after his Goldfish. So Rook didn't notice the picture he gave her was suddenly in his house."

Oh she so nailed that one. Rook had given Heat a picture just like Rick had given her multiple ones which were now placed around the loft.

Rick shrugged. "He thought she got home sick."

Kate raised her brows at him did she really have to point out that she could have simply gone home. Red and Hellfire would have been fine.

Rick sat up, dusted his hands off and ran them through his hair; he then looked up at her meekly.

"Seriously, you moved in?"

Kate looked at him blankly. "Me, I thought we were talking about Rook and Heat."

Rick laughed. "Ok so you saw right through my subtext. Why didn't you say anything?"

Kate sighed; she had debated about telling him but then decided not to. He didn't seem to notice or at least he hadn't said anything, so she just left it that way.

"I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I thought if I did then I might get scared, when really there is nothing to be scared about. I love you, I want to be with you, I was practically living with you anyway."

"But you wouldn't have known that until you tried right."

Kate nodded and smiled, this man was perfect for her.

Rick looked over the woman before him. She was living with him, he couldn't believe it. The whole purpose of this weekend had been to make sure she was calm and relaxed when he asked her to move in. He didn't want her to freak out and back away from him. The truth was in the end he was so scared that he had used the Rook/Heat angle to try get an idea on what her reaction might be. He thrived on spoilers.

"So we have been living together for a month. What made you decide to move in?"

"Well Alexis kind of insisted."

Rick grinned. Oh he was so buying his daughter a pony now.

"We were out shopping the weekend before you went away and I wanted to stop at my apartment to check on it. My neighbour has been keeping an eye out but I stop in now and then. While I was there she stopped in and asked if I was interest in subletting it seeing how I wasn't there much. Her sister Francis recently separated from her husband and is having a bad time, legally and financially and trying to deal with the kids. Alexis practically had me packed that day."

"But what about all your stuff."

It was surprising how much of her stuff was already at Rick's place. When her apartment blew she had lost alot of her things and had never really gotten around to replacing them. All her work clothes were already gone as were a few of her nicer outfits. She wasn't overly attached to any of her furniture so apart from what was left of her clothes the only things she really took were the pictures Rick gave her, her book collection and a box full of nick nacks.

"I left my furniture, didn't need it and Francis didn't have any. My clothes were mostly in your wardrobe already and there wasn't much else."

Rick shook his head. "I cant believe we have been living together for a month and I didn't know."

"Well it's not much different Rick, it's not like you let me leave when we weren't living together anyway."

Rick pouted at her. "You make it sound like I kept you hostage. I just didn't see the point of you driving all the way back home when you were only going to drive all the way back in a few hours."

Kate smiled; she had stated getting into the habit of picking him up. It meant they could share a good morning kiss without every man and his dog observing them.

"I wasn't a hostage Rick, I knew I could leave, I just didn't want to."

Rick nodded. "Good, because if I remember correctly you liked using the hand cuffs."

Kate rolled her eyes. Good old Rick, always finding a way to lighten the situation. The worry lines that had been marring his face when he first flopped down on the sand were gone now. He was now at ease knowing she was ok with them moving in together. There still was one thing that wasn't resolved and she was concerned when it came up he would be out here again scaring more sea birds.

"So Heat and Rook were subtext for the two of us correct."

Rick nodded at her while drawing hearts in the sand with his index finger.

"So when you said you wanted Rook and Heat to marry in a few books time, what was a few books subtext for?"

Rick froze, oh crap oh crap oh crap. Should he grab her hand so she didn't start running, or would that make her run even faster, his hand holding hers.

Kate saw him freeze and stop drawing hearts and felt bad for teasing him. Once she realised she was in love with Rick she had dived into the relationship. It was the best decision she had ever made. She felt like she belonged not only in his home but in his family. From the moment Rick had come home from his trip, she knew she wanted to be his forever. He had barely been gone a week but it felt like forever even with the content texts, emails, calls and even one very naughty Skype session. Striding through the door, he had announced 'honey I am home' and she was in his arms. A sudden sense of domesticity swept over her and she realised she wanted to be his honey, his sweetie, his wife. Rick looked like a deer in headlights so she decided to put him out of his misery.

"Because I was thinking I'd be ok if a few books, was subtext for a few months. Asking that is, asking in a few books time. Like you said, you need to plant the seed for the future."

She waited, and waited and waited until suddenly he jumped into the air and let out a loud yelp. The sea birds were disrupted again as Rick ran up and down the beach yelling and squawking just as much as the birds were.

Rick finally ran over to his soon to be bride and scoped her out of her chair and walked back and forth.

"Dum dum de dum."

Kate threw back her head and laughed. This man was crazy but that was ok, so was she.

"Dad , what are you doing, you're not going to throw Kate in the water again."

Rick turned around and faced his daughter.

"I'm practicing."

Alexis frowned at her father, what craziness was he getting up to now. "Practising for what, when you drop Kate and she sprains her ankle and then you have to carry her."

"Nope," he told his young daughter. "For when I marry Kate and carry her over the threshold."

Alexis eyes widened and she began to jump up and down squealing much like her father had.

"Wait , wait, wait." Kate slapped at Ricks arm until he finally let go of her and lowered her to her feet. "I said I'd be ok with your father asking in a few months. We are not engaged yet and wedding can take a long time to plan."

Alexis started waving her hands in the air. "We can start planning right away; I have a bridal magazine in the house."

"Why do have a bridal magazine." Rick asked his daughter rather concerned; she was a little young to be thinking of marriage, wasn't she?

Alexis shrugged. "Well I was kind of hoping the two of you would stop dancing around and just get it over with."

Rick frowned at his daughter. "Alexis you should know more than anyone that I don't want to scare Kate off. What if she had found the magazine and thought it was me using subtext and trying to pressure her."

Kate wasn't too happy that Rick was telling off his daughter for only wanting what was best for them.

"You know I could take a look at the magazine, it wouldn't hurt to get ideas." Kate had actually already looked at a few while waiting at the doctors. She was still going regularly to make sure her body and head were fine.

"No No." Alexis told her. "I wouldn't want you to get the impression I am trying to force you marry my dad. You know maybe I should just throw it out."

"No" Kate practically yelled. "I know you're not pressuring me." She said a little softer. "I was never one of those little girls who ran around with a tea towel on their head pretending to get married to the boy next door. I really have no idea where to start; it couldn't hurt to look through one now. See what I am up against."

Alexis smiled at the woman who would soon be her new step mom. It was obvious Kate really wanted to look at the magazine but Alexis had enough of her dad in her to want to tease Kate.

"I'll make you a deal Kate. The magazine is on the coffee table first one to reach it gets to decide what happens to the magazine."

"Alright you're on. " Kate pretended to roll up her sleeves before bending down slightly preparing to race.

Alexis nodded at her and moved into the same stance. "Ready. Set. What the! Dad"

Kate straightened and burst into laughter at the sight of Richard Castle sprinting back to the house.

"That magazine is mine" he yelled not decreasing his pace.

Kate covered her face with her hands and shook her head.

"Regretting your decision about letting Dad propose in a couple of months." Alexis asked not impressed with her father at all.

Kate lowered her hands and smiled at her future step daughter. "Not at all. Most men would run screaming in the other direction at the mention of the word marriage, this is a good thing." When she heard a yelp of joy she looked back towards the house. "I think?"

Picking up her chair and Kindle, Kate started making her way back to the house, Alexis following her.

"So were there any decent looking bridesmaid's dresses in that magazine."

Alexis nodded. "There was this thick strapped lavender one that would look gorgeous on Lanie."

Kate looked at Alexis and frowned. "I don't think you would look good in lavender, to washed out". When Alexis stopped, Kate turned to look at the young girl. "Is something wrong?"

"You want me to be a bridesmaid?"

Kate smiled at the shocked young girl. "Yes. I feel like we really have bonded over the last few months and I would love for you to be there on the day supporting me. If you want to that is."

Alexis started jumping on the spot again before awkwardly hugging Kate around the chair and Kindle.

"Yes yes yes. I would love to Kate." She pulled herself out of Kate's arms and beamed at her. "I was hoping you would let me help you plan the wedding but being in it would be so much better. I have never been in one before, I am so excited."

"Weren't you in your fathers other wedding?"

Alexis lowered her head. "No. To young for a bridesmaid to old for flower girl. Plus Gina and I got along but not like you and I do. Dad wanted me to play the violin as Gina walked in but she said she didn't like that kind of scratchy music so I just sat with Gram."

Kate tucked her kindle under her arm and rubbed her hand up and down Alexis shoulder.

"I am sorry."

Alexis patted Kate's hand on her arm. "It's fine really, its makes your wedding with Dad that more special."

Kate nodded at her. "Thanks and I really would love you to help. With the wedding and keeping your Dad in line."

Alexis laughed as they began walking back to the house. "Oh you're going to need more than just my help with the last one."

Kate marvelled how she was taking about getting married and how it didn't scare her. In fact she was very excited about the idea. Waiting two months now seemed a bit ridiculous especially when she loved him so much and was eager to become part of his family. As she entered the house she saw Rick sitting on the couch a pen in his hand circling things in the bridal magazine.

"See anything you like."

Rick nodded. "I am circling things I like and then you can go through and circle what you like. Then we can meet in the middle." He hadn't even looked up from the page he was reading. "This article says you should have something at the wedding that's significant to you. To many weddings now a days have no individuality about them."

Kate nodded; she definitely wanted her own stamp on her wedding that's for sure. She took a seat next to him and looked at the page he was reading. "What did you have in mind?"

Rick stuck his pen in his mouth and bit the end of it. "Well it says here either something about how you first met or something that's unique to us. Something from when we first met officially kind of has me thinking about hand cuffs and I don't think that would be appropriate at a wedding."

Kate laughed "You think."

"So then I was thinking maybe we could have ice sculptures on everyone's table. If it hadn't been for us being stuck in that freezer who knows how long it would have taken us to get together."

Kate winced. "Really Rick you want to remember almost dying three times on our wedding day."

Rick winced. "Well when you put it like that."

Kate bit her lip and looked down at the magazine and saw the picture of a three tiered wedding cake. "We could have a coffee flavoured wedding cake, thanks kind of our thing."

Rick smiled at her. How was he fortunate enough to be almost engaged to this beautiful woman? "That's a great idea."

Kate slid the magazine over to her lap even though technically Rick had won the right to look at it. Flowers, cakes, dresses. Cars, photographers, invitations.

"Wow there is a lot of things we need to pick. Is it wrong to start planning before you propose?" She laughed at her own joke but she had never really realised how much went into planning a wedding. Wow!

"I have a song I like for our first dance."

Kate looked up at Rick surprised. He had picked a song. "Wait it's not 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' is it. Great song but maybe for later in the night."

Rick shook his head before grabbing his phone out of his pocket. He tapped it a few times before suddenly music was filling the room. "It's called Anyone at all by Carol King."

Kate leaned in close to hear the lyrics.

_Funny how I feel, more my self with you. _

_Than anybody else that I ever knew._

_I hear it in your voice, see it in your face. _

_You've become the memory I can't erase."_

Rick tapped his phone to cease the music. "I know it doesn't sound like the happiest of songs but it's the lyrics."

Kate smiled she recognised the song. "It's from the end of You've got mail, right."

Rick looked a little embarrassed now. "Umm yeah that's where most people know the song from. We can pick something else if you like. I mean I haven't even proposed yet, we have plenty of time to pick a song."

"No I like the song and the fact that it's from You've got mail is kind of significant to. We didn't meet over the internet or anything but at first the characters didn't get along that well like us. The move is set in New York and books were a big part of their lives like with us."

Rick smiled she really liked the song and she didn't care that it was from the end of a movie that he secretly loved.

"You really like the song?"

"I do"

"Remember those words. You will be saying them very soon." Rick leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

"Eww hello. Teenager still in the room."

Kate leaned in and whispered in Rick's ear. "Do you want to go to our room?"

Rick pulled back slightly to look at her with mischievous glint in his eye.

"I do"

The end

AUTHORS NOTE: AND IT IS OVER. WOW.

IF YOU GO BACK AND READ THE FIRST CHAPTER I WASN'T SURE IF I WAS GOING TO CONTINUE THE STORY. I WAS WORRIED IT WAS TO MUCH LIKE MY FIRST STORY STRANGE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL.

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME AND THIS STORY, IT CANT HAVE BEEN EASY WITH ALL MY MISTAKES. I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT MY WRITING HAS GROWN OVER THE MONTHS SINCE I FIRST STARTED THIS STORY AND GETTING BETTER.

A HUGE THANK YOU GOES OUT TO _LITTLE LIZZIE ZENTARA. _IF IT WEREN'T FOR HER ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT THIS STORY WOULD NEVER EXISTED.

I FIRST FOUND FANFICTION ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH A VERY BAD TIME IN MY LIFE. I HAD PEOPLE AROUND ME YET I STILL FELT SO ALONE AND FELT LIKE A FREAK. FAN FICTION GAVE ME A REASON TO GET UP IN THE MORNING AND LIVE MY LIFE. IT GAVE ME CONFIDENCE I NEVER KNEW I HAD TO GO AND MAKE CHANGES IN MY LIFE, REAL BIG POSITIVE CHANGES LIKE RIDDING MY LIFE OF PEOPLE WHO WERE GETTING ME DOWN. I BEGAN LIVING MY LIFE AND TRYING NEW THINGS AND STEPPED AWAY FROM THE FAN FICTION WORLD, FOR QUITE SOME TIME. I WOULD GO BACK FROM TIME TO TIME WHEN I WAS FEELING DOWN BUT NEVER REALLY HUNG AROUND. A FEW YEARS BACK I WAS FEELING LONELY IN LIFE AGAIN AND A BIT DIRECTIONLESS. I STOPPED IN SAID HELLO DROPPED OFF A Lois and Clark FANFICTION AND LEFT AS SOON AS I CAME.

I WAS FEELING A BIT DIRECTIONLESS AGAIN ABOUT A YEAR AGO, NOT AS MUCH AS BEFORE BUT I THOUGHT I'D READ SOME FANFIC AGAIN TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. OH IT DID WONDERS FOR ME. THEN I HAD A NIGGLING TO WRITE A STORY SOMETHING I HAVEN'T HAD IN A LONG TIME AND IT WOULDN'T LET GO. SO I THOUGHT I'D STOP IN DROP A LITTLE 3 CHAPTER STORY AND HIGH TAILED IT OUTER HERE. I HAD BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG AND WASN'T SURE IF I FIT IN HERE ANYMORE. I WAS LIKE A NEW KID AT SCHOOL WHERE EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS EVERYONE. SO I STAYED ON THE OUTER EDGES AND QUICKLY SNUCK IN A CHAPTER HERE AND THERE HOPING NO ONE WOULD NOTICE ME MUCH.

BUT SOME ONE DID. _Little Lizzie Zentara_. SHE SAW ME STANDING THERE ON THE OUTSKIRTS ABOUT TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT AND SHE GRABBED MY HAND AND PULLED ME BACK INTO THE FRAY. AND FOR THAT I WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. MY LIFE HAS CHANGED DRAMATICALLY SINCE YOU CAME INTO IT AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR FANTASTIC REVIEWS I WOULD NOT HAVE CONTINUED WRITING OR HAVE 12 CASTLE FANFICS UNDER MY BELT.

A WORD OF ADVICE TO PEOPLE OUT THERE STANDING OIN THE OUTSKIRTS TO SHY TO STEP IN A WRITE A STORY, JUST GIVE IT A GO. SURE YOU MIGHT NOT BE GREAT TO START OUT WITH BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE TO GIVE ADVICE. WE ALL HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE. DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW THE WORLD YOUR IDEAS. YOU NEVER KNOW ONE DAY SOMETHING YOU WRITE MAY CHANGE SOMEONES LIFE FOREVER.

OK SO IF I SEEM TO DROP OF THE RADAR OVER THE NEXT MONTH OR SO DONT WORRY. I AM MEANT TO BE GOING ON HOLIDAYS. MEANT TO, AS IN WE HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER QUITE ILL AT THE MOMENT SO I AM UNSURE WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN. IF I GO ILL BE TRAVELLING FROM AUSTRALIA TO THE USA FOR A WHOLE MONTH. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER _NATTIELIZZIE _ AND ILL POST SOME PICS OF MY JOURNEY IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED. OH WHEN YOU FOLLOW ME POST A HEY HOW ARE YA I'M FROM FFSO I KNOW WHO IS ACTUALLY INTERESTED AND WHERE YOU CAME FROM LOL.

AND ONE FINAL NOTE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

See you soon.

Natalie Elizabeth


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